I Hate You, My Friend
by PsychoticSushi
Summary: Luna's an Agent. Her job description did NOT consist of ninjas, much less pretending to date one to protect each other from a common enemy. But after running into Naruto, that's exactly what she got. Now if they could just keep from killing each other...
1. Ready, Set, Go!

**DISCLAIMER: If i really owned Naruto, do you REALLY think i'd be writing this here instead of up in a studio for the anime and/or manga and making tons of cash? Yeah, that's what _I _thought, too. But the story and some of the characters ARE mine and therefore cannot be taken, so HA! Neener-neener-NEEEENER! **

* * *

"Can I help you with something?"

She flashed a smile at the clerk, who didn't look much older than she was. "No, thanks." She fingered a nearby shirt as if she was extremely interested. Personally, the blouse was too dull and too low-cut for her taste. And the ruffles on the sleeves and down the middle?

Yeah right.

Luckily, she wasn't here for shopping.

The clerk rolled her eyes and turned away to go pester _other _people with busy schedules. "Another tourist," she muttered. The teenage girl couldn't help but smirk as she glanced out the store's window again at The Target, who was glancing around and wandering aimlessly.

The girl checked her reflection to make sure everything was still intact before ducking out of the store.

* * *

One of the things she liked best about herself was that she was sort of like a chameleon; able to blend into any role given her, no matter how odd. Today it was a pretty normal disguise, though, which was a bit disappointing.

Just a normal kid wandering the streets of Washington, DC. Though normal was always an intriguing concept to her, she hated her employers' ideas of normal. It was rather boring, and required no imagination whatsoever.

Except for the fact that normal was probably the most foreign concept she could possibly imagine.

She was able to follow The Target in a moderately-straight line for a good five minutes before he finally realized he was being tailed and tried to lose her. _Damn, it took him long enough._..

Finally, he reached a deserted garage parking lot. Nothing but dull cars surrounded by dull concrete walls with dull paint to show people where to park.

Dull, dull, dull. She smiled to herself as he continued to glance around, chuckling slightly. "Perfect," she practically purred. She loved this part of her job.

"Hello?" The Target called out a bit uneasily, running a hand through his spiky orange hair almost unconsciously. She was getting to him. That tiny twinge of fear and adrenaline - though by the looks of it, adrenaline was more dominant - was starting to sink into him.

She ducked behind a car as he walked towards where her voice had come from. "Someone there?" The Target called, sounding even more uneasy.

She rolled her eyes and waited until his footsteps faded. _I don't get people these days. If there's someone there, being secretive, why the hell would they ask if someone was there? It's almost as if they expect them to just pop out and shout "Oh, HEY THERE!"_

She crouched and waited; The Target chuckled nervously.

"Rukia? Renji? This better not be another one of your stupid-ass pranks or a damn training method...!"

_That was kinda fun, but now it's time to end this. _The girl kicked his feet out from under him and he fell to the ground in a daze. She crouched to get a better look at him, then lightly touched her earpiece. "Hey, Becs? Ya there?"

She stood up and put her foot on his stomach to keep him down as he struggled to get up. This target was different than the others. His spirit energy was making her sway slightly; she'd felt strong ones before, but never like this.

The eariece suddenly came to life; there was panting, then static.

_"Yeah, I'm here. He's in custody already? And you're certain he's the one?"_

She cocked her head to the side, studying The Target as question marks _**DING-DING-DINGED**_ above his head.

"What the hell? Who the hell are you? Why the hell do you have your foot there? Are you coming onto me or something? Is this how they do that here? Wait, why the hell do you have an ear thing in the first place, are you-"

"YEAH, IT'S HIM!" she managed to yell over The Target. _I hate when they ramble. They always do so before I receive the orders as to what to do to them. It's quite annoying, but usually the decision to kill them shuts them up rather quick. _She laughed at her own little joke, making The Target sweatdrop.

_"Is he cute?"_

She rolled her eyes. "Just notify them and find the other two Targets, alright?"

_"Whatever."_

She rolled her eyes again as giggling was heard from Becs's end before the connection was cut off.

"Could you remove your foot?"

"Oh, right." She crouched by him again and smirked. Always nice to know no matter how strong his spirit energy was, she could keep him down. "So, who _are _you?"

The Target just gaped at her for a minute. "Uh...you're the one who _attacked_ me. Aren't you supposed to _know_ who you're attacking?" She shook her head. "Nope. They give us the description, we find or exterminate them."

"Uh...huh." They stared at each other for a minute. "...So, mind telling me who you are?"

"I asked you first," she pointed out.

He rolled his eyes. "How you manage to attack and 'exterminate' anyone is _beyond _me. My name is Ichigo Kurosaki, and once Rukia and/or Renji get here, I'll be the one who turns back into a Soul Reaper and kicks your _ass_!"

"Whatever, 'Soul Reaper'. Doesn't Ichigo mean 'Strawberry'? How frightening. I'm shaking in my boots." She pulled her blonde wig off and winced. "Excuse me a minute." Leaving one foot on his stomach in case he tried to escape, she turned around and carefully removed the blonde wig from her dark red hair.

Next the fake contacts and eyebrows came off, revealing her dark brown brows and eyes. She turned back around, removed her leg, and held out her hand. "I'm Luna."

He sweatropped. "...You're weird."

Her temple throbbed. "I'M weird? Hello? _You're _the one who calls yourself a 'Soul Reaper'." He rolled his eyes as she used her index and middle fingers on both hands to emphasize his title.

"Love the air quotes."

"Why thank you."

"Nothing fazes you, does it?"

"Nope, not really. Except for Becs. She can be quite intimidating."

"Who's that? She's cuter than you, I hope."

"I would not say 'cute'. But many describe her as 'hot'."

"Good. Maybe my eyes will stop hurting once she gets here."

"Wow, a smartass. I hope they don't terminate you right away, you might be fun to have around!" Luna couldn't help but get excited. A new male around would be so nice; they had stronger stomachs and giggled less. She was so excited just thinking about it that she slipped out of her formal tone, something she very rarely did these days.

Being formal and distant was usually a better way to act around her Targets. That way, when she exterminated them, she wouldn't mind having to wash the blood off afterwards. Not that she felt guilt very often, if _ever_. She didn't feel too many strong emotions often anymore, period.

He was about to comment, but instead he turned a little green. "TERMINATE me? What the hell! Did I walk into some weird alternate reality where the Terminator guy is in charge of the justice system or something?"

Luna tilted her head to the side to think. "Well, actually, the Terminator _was _kind of like a justice person in that movie. And the actor who portrayed him _is _the governor of California now...hmm. Well, either way, the answers to the rest are classified."

He grinned. "Well, if I AM being terminated, what would it matter?"

She pointed at him, eyes narrowed. "For someone doomed to die, you sure are calm."

He scoffed. "Please, I've been in situations you couldn't even _imagine._"

"I don't know, my imagination is pretty wide and vivid."

He smiled mischieviously. "Well first, _you_ tell me about whoever it is you work for, then _I'll_ tell you about Soul Reapers." Luna opened her mouth, shut it, and opened it again in disbelief.

_Curiosity sucks! And it kills cats. _She sighed in defeat. "Wipe that smug grin off your face. You're still the one on the ground being held down by my foot."

He sighed. "I can't argue with that."

Luna sighed again. _Perhaps sighing is contagious, like yawning..._ As if to emphasize her thought, she yawned before continuing.

"I'll try and put it in simple terms so you can understand. You don't seem very bright, no offense."

"None taken, neither do you."

"Everyone thinks that.." She looked around. "I really wish I had my sketchbook with me. Maybe then I could make it easier..."

He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Not _more _pictures! Rukia's are shitty enough!" That simple gesture of his bought her his full attention as she assessed him. That Soul Reaper story, she knew it was true.

As to what they did, she had no earthly idea. She simply knew the whole reason he was being targeted was because he and his cohorts, Rukia Kuchiki and Renji Abarai, don't belong in this dimension. Yet they were here. It wouldn't be the first time she encountered this...at least, not lately...

Whatever Soul Reapers did, it was obviously quite physical. His physique was admittedly impressive. He was muscled and toned, odd in your average teen. His hair was spiky and orange, and his face seemed set in a permanent scowl.

Odd, considering what a soft brown color his eyes were. Her own eyes reflected her personality: dark. She suspected this whole scowling persona was, like most teens, a diversion. He smirked, noticing her staring, and she scowled at him.

Luna then turned serious, turning off her ear piece. "Okay, pay attention. The following conversation never happened. If by some miracle they keep you around for a while, you are to act surprised or confused if any of these subjects are brought up. Your survival and mine might very well depend on it. Understood?"

Ichigo nodded slowly, and she paused to let that sink in. "...I work for an organization within the governments of quite a few nations. You're in the United States of America, which is the penultimate of our headquarters," she added at his confused expression. Though she was sure her vocabulary and wording just made him more confused. Which was good, since that was her aim. The less he understood of what she was telling him, the better.

For both of them.

But he caught "You're in the United States of America" easy enough.

"Oh...seriously? I've only _heard _of that place, no one I know back in Karakura's ever been there, but there was this one guy whose aunt's cousin's step-" She held up a hand. "Yes, that's wonderful. We don't have much time," she pointed out.

"Oh, right."

"Okay. The organization, which shall not be named-"

He started laughing again. "You sound like you're talking about Voldemort instead of some secret organization! Harry Potter nerd!"

She gave him a look. "Okay, seriously, do I need to put duct tape on your mouth, or can you shut the hell up on your own? I have some in my back pocket."

"No, no, sorry!"

"Alrighty then. As I was saying. _I_ don't even know too much about the Agency itself, other than it's been in business for quite a while. I've been doing their dirty work since before I can remember..."

"Which is how long?"

"...I'm fifteen, if that's what you're getting at."

"Ah, so I'm older!"

"That's wonderful, just _fascinating_, one would never guess from your behavior. Now, may I please continue?"

"Right."

She couldn't help but smirk at how the insult about his immaturity went right over his head.

"We are responsible for maintaining the balance of all that is. This world, the forces of heaven and hell, other worlds, it's all us. You name it, we've been a moderate to major part of it. We've worked as special forces for every war imaginable since a little after the Revolution."

She glanced around to make sure they were alone before going on, lowering her voice a little.

"And Jack the Ripper? Turns out he was a great guy in all honesty. Barely stayed two weeks in therapy, and he was an even greater field agent from what I have heard. Seriously, therapy can change anyone and everyone. It's amazing. ...We even helped stop some major invasion in this other world, something about Heartless creatures...As unbelievable as it sounds, it's all true. A network bigger than Area 51 itself, right in front of everyone. We're the wanderers of the night, those who dwell solely to protect humanity. We take care of international threats, breaches, protect Presidents, rulers, ambassadors...and some things even a _Soul Reaper_ couldn't imagine."

He rolled his eyes. "Try me."

"Fine then. You know those stories about things that 'go bump in the night'? They exist. Some of us _are _the things that bump around at night. And yes, I mean supposedly mythical creatures, not just clumsy and/or intoxicated humans. Some you haven't even heard of...such as this one Agent I personally know who's 87% vampire, however that works."

He made a face. "How DOES that work?"

"I try not to wonder about it. How else could I explain it? Let's see...ooh, Van Helsing! You remember that movie with Hugh Jackman, right?"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Yeah..."

"Okay, that society he works for? We're like that, only a helluva lot more modern."

They stared at each other for a minute, Luna trying to look serious after comparing herself to one of her all-time favorite movies (which was a rather limited list, and basically included every movie she had been able to sneak out and see). Ichigo was just trying to absorb what she had said.

"Well? What are Soul Reapers?"

"Oh. Right. Soul Reapers are-"

"Loony, you didn't tell me he was _cute_," she heard Becs whisper in her ear.

* * *

Luna just about hit the ceiling, she jumped so badly. "B-Becs, how'd you get here so fast?"

"I'm just ace, is all!" Ichigo watched on with fresh sweatdrops as Becs explained an accident with a hot dog vendor in front of the Reflecting Pool, which explained why she was so wet. Luna was pretty sure she had him lost during most of it. He was probably still trying to figure out what "ace" meant, and why she used some guy named John to change clothes.

And people said Americans were ignorant to other people's cultures. Then again, Ichigo probably wasn't the best representative for Japan. _What a simpleton... _Luna fumed with a templethrob after realizing he had been staring at Becs' chest the whole time.

Finally, Luna remembered her foot was crushing his airway as her anger grew, and removed it. "Sorry," she said with a nervous chuckle. "Becs, this is Ichigo. Ichigo, Becs. _He's _a smartass too, and he was just about to tell me about-"

Becs shot her a look. "You know better!"

"What _now_?"

"Since when do you become acquainted with your targets?"

"Since now, I guess."

"But you _know _what happens when we do that! You'll get attached, _again_."

"You just had to bring _him _up!"

"Well, who's fault is it that he-"

Luna elbowed her in the ribs. "We're not supposed to talk about that! Especially not with civilians present!"

"Oh, belt up! Since when do we follow the _rules_? You just like that _one _rule because it was pretty much bespoken for ya, what with-"

Ichigo cleared his throat. "Who are you talking about? ...Well, besides you, anyways."

Luna rubbed her arm. "Uh..." Then she started laughing.

* * *

Becs looked at her as if she needed to be in a straight jacket. "Luna...why the bloody hell are you laughing like a barmy?"

Luna shook her head and pointed at the car behind her. "That girl Ichigo- I mean, _The Target _mentioned...Rukia, is it? She's about to try and jump me!"

They heard a small gasp and a string of curses from behind the aforementioned car, and Becs chuckled. "Not very bright, is she?"

Luna shook her head. "It's not her fault. It was a good plan. She can't help it that I can sense people's energy, y'know."

"Dammit," a male voice muttered.

She turned around to see a dude with bright, spiky red hair step out from behind the car. He also was rather toned and muscular, even more so than Ichigo. He was obviously older, too. Though he sure didn't seem to act like it...

"You must be Renji. It is quite obvious you aren't Rukia."

He rolled his eyes. "Nothing gets past _you_, does it?"

Renji started laughing once he saw Ichigo. "Ichigo! Caught by a girl, huh? She could even hold you down with her _foot. _Yet, _somehow_, you're a Soul Reaper."

A girl a tad bit shorter than Luna stepped out and hit Renji on the shoulder. Her hair was jet black, stopping and spiking out in thick sections at her shoulders. Her big violet eyes were currently narrowed just a little, as if she were thinking. "She's got an amazing amount of life energy. You could feel it too. In fact, we could do _more_ than sense it. It started making you feel dizzy, it was so strong."

Renji pouted a little, ego bruised, none of them realizing Luna was weaving thin blue lines of energy around them. "Yeah, but that don't mean I can't pretend we couldn't and bash Strawberry a little."

Luna chuckled at their cluelessness; Ichigo was the first to realize something was slowly repressing him and started struggling.

"Strawberry? I'm gonna remember that, it'd make a good name for him." Becs hit her on the arm while Rukia and Renji started struggling as well.

"What the hell's going on?" Rukia muttered. "I can't move! It's like a Bakudo, but..."

Becs continued as if Rukia hadn't said anything, light green eyes widening at Luna's previous statement. "I just got onto you! You know as well as I do we _don't _get attached, and we _certainly _don't name them like pets!"

Luna growled inwardly. She hated when Becs got like this. Scolding her as if just because she was older, she had more sense and knew more about what Luna should and shouldn't do. She had a rising suspicion it was induced by Ichigo's presence.

Could she help it that she was the youngest Agent to ever work for the Agency, having started at age nine? It wasn't like she did it willingly, and she hated being reminded of it. In fact, it was one of the few factors that got under her skin.

But Becs knew every single factor there was. And boy, did she use them. Especially around males.

Not that Luna was interested in male attention in the first place. Not since her first mistake in that department...

Outwardly, she simply sighed. "Calm down, Becs, will you? I have a feeling they're gonna keep these guys around. Renji and Rukia have some pretty strong energy, and Ichigo's is so strong it gives me a headache! There's no _way _they could turn that opportunity down, you know the Agency's run by pure greed and politics, and _besides_-"

Becs coughed loudly and nudged Luna. She sweatdropped. "She's right behind me, isn't she?"

Becs nodded, and Luna drooped. "Right..." She turned around and waved nervously. "Afternoon, Ma'am."

Tara's sleek blonde hair was in a tight bun today, an even tighter business suit-skirt ensemble hugging her perfectly toned body. She may simply be their division's briefer, debriefer, and all-around enforcer, but considering their division was practically infested with juveniles, she sure got her daily workouts managing them.

"I see you managed to find all three targets. Well done, Luna."

Becs looked at her expectantly. "Nice effort, Rebecca." Luna snickered and her teammate elbowed her in the ribs. Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Aren't _you two_ mature professionals.."

They ignored him, making his scowl deepen. Just as Luna suspected; nothing but a diversion, meant to grab attention. "I am Special Agent Tara Surandon, and you three must be Renji, Rukia, and Ichigo." There was a slight nod from each of them, and she continued.

"To answer almost all of your questions, you three cannot move because Luna, the redheaded one to my left, has woven ropes of energy around you all. It is stronger than almost any force known to this world. How she can do this, not even she knows, so I would not even bother asking."

"As to your individual questions. Rukia Kuchiki? No, Luna is not a Soul Reaper. No, that is not reiatsu you are sensing. It is some different force entirely. I myself can sense your reiatsus, having been in contact with your kind before. As to your other questions, I am afraid the answers are currently prohibited to you and your companions. Some of them are unknown even to _my _mind."

Her gaze turned to Renji. "Ah. Renji Abarai. Yes, Luna is a living human. No, I do not provide the answers as to how you got here or how to reach Karakura Town. Yes, my breasts are entirely real. And, as I have already told Ms. Kuchiki, the answers to the rest are currently prohibited and/or unknown."

"And to answer _your _questions, Ichigo Kurosaki, we _are _considering your executions. Yes, I will tell you why. And no, I am not the head of this organization. Yes, Rebecca is from Great Britain, and yes, that is her original accent. Yes, she tends to use slang. It is something I have stressed she work on, for the sake of covert operations. Yes, Luna's energy force is almost as strong as yours, and no, that should not bruise your ego. And finally...no, if you live, Luna probably will _not _give you her number, but I guess it is possible," she finished with a smug grin.

Everyone but Becs and Luna gaped at her in amazement. Luna and Ichigo were turning red, while Becs was snickering like crazy. "S-She can read people's minds," The Brit managed to get out. Luna just sighed and shook her head. "I am simply going to ignore that whole scenario."

* * *

Luna looked around glumly at the familiar, stainless-steel walls. She sighed on their way to the briefing room. "Just once, I would love to be able to get out of here for a while. And not just for missions," she whispered to herself.

"Someone's getting picky," Becs replied with a sing-song tone. She sighed at the glare Luna shot her. Lately, she had gotten more and more occupied with the outside world. It wasn't good for someone like her.

Becs had grown up in the outside world. She had been born there, raised there, and had matured there before signing up to work for the Agency. The same couldn't be said for Luna. Sometimes, she wondered what Luna would even do if she were allowed to roam the outside world. Because to be blunt, it was jam-packed with sex, drugs, alcohol, violence, and different forms of media and entertainment.

That's all.

She had told her that so many times, hoping it would satisfy her curiosity. She didn't want Luna to be part of that world. Not when the Agency fed her information that was cleaned and polished, making the world and its inhabitants seem simple. "You know that'll never happen, so you best forget about it," was all Becs said.

She said it with enough sharpness that Luna decided to just nod and drop it for the time being. Not that she had been talking to anyone in particular in the first place.

Luna couldn't help but laugh a little at the Soul Reapers. She had loosened the energy around them so they could walk, but Renji and Rukia were practically waddling like penguins because it was still really strong on them.

Though she was positive the amount of energy was equal, Strawberry was almost walking as fast as Tara and Becca were. Luna was lagging behind to keep an eye on the other two now, just in case they decided to make a run for it, which would be just plain idiotic at the moment. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened, though.

In fact, it had happened several times before. Usually, they didn't get very far. The farthest had gotten within fifteen feet of the exit, located on the end of the hall. But it _did _happen. Hence all the stains on the carpet.

If there _was_ a chance of her getting out alive someday, it wouldn't happen unless she did her job well..._and_ kissed ass, but she would never do that. No matter the circumstances.

"Okay, now that we're here..." Tara started. They were all sitting in yet another stainless-steel room, in stainless-steel chairs, around a square, stainless-steel table with circular patterns.

Rukia sure got a kick out of the patterns, that's for sure. Ichigo leaned towards Luna and Becs. "Is there a reason she waited until we were in _here _to start talking?"

Luna was busy watching Tara's face intently, looking for any sign of the Agency's verdict as to the Soul Reapers' fates. Becs noticed this, so she clicked her tongue before answering him. "This is the briefing room, and I think it just makes Tara's lectures and explanations feel more official to her, so we don't usually say anything about it."

"Got it."

Tara cleared her throat meaningfully, and they shut up. "You three are here because you have jeopardized one major belief of the average citizens of this world. They do not know other worlds exist beyond this one. Therefore, The Agency and everyone in it is nonexistant. _You three _cause that illusion to waver. Rukia, Renji, Ichigo, you are from Karakura Town, which is in Japan. BUT, it's in a Japan in another world, if that makes any sense to you at the moment. The fact that you are all Soul Reapers does not help you.

"There has been an outbreak of paranormal activity recently; it's caused many of our teams to spread to different locations, and sometimes different worlds, back-to-back for weeks on end. It's caused Rebecca Kensington and Luna to work for three weeks straight as of today, and it's costing us. For the first time ever, Rebecca failed to find any trace of evidence."

"Huh?" Rukia asked as Becs pouted to herself at the mention of her mistake. "I'm a bit lost. What do they _do_, anyway?"

"Rebecca and Luna form the smallest squad in our history, but that doesn't affect their success. Rebecca finds the target's current location, while Luna eliminates any threats, even the targets themselves, or captures them." Tara laughed once. "Yes Ichigo, we always talk this technically." Luna rolled her eyes, and Tara continued.

"I was informed of their decision right before we entered this briefing room. We will _not _eliminate you three quite yet. We find it unnecessary and a waste of resources, not to mention what little energy Luna might have left after so much activity the past few weeks. So we have come up with a solution. I already know you have no idea how you got here, and we have dealt with similar cases for weeks now. It seems almost as though they are brought here, then erased of their memories from that time frame. Unfortunately, we have yet to find how to get many of these subjects back to their worlds. You three, however, prove to be useful for us. Ichigo and Rukia, you will be on Luna and Rebbeca's squad. Renji, you will join Ayumi, Kilik, and Will's squad."

Luna sighed quietly. Becs gave her a look. "You knew it wouldn't happen." Tara smiled softly. "Will is Luna's brother. She has wanted to be on his team ever since she's been here, before I even started working for this organization.."

Another aspect of Luna that worried Becs to no end. She wasn't the only one who had a soft spot for Will, that was true. Hell, she was in love with the guy. But in Luna's case...

Her brother was probably- no, definitely- the only person in the whole entire universe that Luna would absolutely risk everything for without a moment's hesitation. Even if it was her brother...it would be so easy for the Agency to manipulate her fate, thanks to Will having been roped into it as a kid as well.

Then again, when a brother and sister are out on the streets and starving, she supposed the brother would do anything to get his skeleton of a sister some food. Luna didn't remember much about that short time span, having been so young, but Will did.

Vividly.

It had been hell for him, for both of them.

Now, a healthier and more feminine version of that little sister crossed her arms and sat lower in her seat. "It's true. Can one blame me?"

Tara just shook her head. "You are all dismissed. Rebecca will show Renji where he will be staying, I have a feeling she was on her way towards Will's room anyway," she said with an impish smile.

"Luna will show you yours, Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki. Welcome to The Agency."

* * *

"Becs and Will are _together_," Luna explained as they walked towards the rooms, shivering a little at the mental images that sprouted up at that one.

Rukia must have been playing 500 questions, because it sure felt that way. "What's your favorite color? Do you know how to play cat's cradle? And how long have you been working for they-who-shall-not-be-named?" Rukia asked with a grin at the Harry Potter reference.

"Lime green, no I do not, and since before I can remember," Luna answered simply.

"Well, how far back can you remember?"

Luna stared at the ceiling in thought as she moved through the halls she knew by heart. "Since I was...about..I want to say since I was 12, but I can piece together tidbits of memories at earlier stages in my life every now and then."

"The aliens got to her," Ichigo whispered, and Luna elbowed him in the ribs, temple throbbing.

"No. I think I hit my head or something. Or perhaps I just went through something I _made _myself forget. I can't even remember my last name, and not even The Agency knows it, which is kind of odd. Usually they know, see, and hear all."

"That sucks," Ichigo couldn't help but reply.

Luna shrugged. "What's the point of a last name, or a past? When one joins the Agency, none of that matters. Did you not hear that logic Tara mentioned? To the common people, we don't exist." She liked it that way. Things were probably best that way. Although sometimes, she wondered if the Agency knew more about her than they let on...

Rukia didn't miss a beat. "Do you remember your parents?"

Luna's expression shifted into a neutral one, and her tone turned calm and slightly dull. "Not at all. It's probably better that way. Here we are."

She pointed at room 24A and 26D. She hated the number system. It reminded her of bra sizes, strange as that may sound.

"You two got lucky, Renji has to share a room with my brother. It smells like a toxic-waste bomb went off in there," she said with a face before turning to her room, right across the hall from theirs. "Well, knock yourselves out. I desperately need a shower."

Rukia was bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Can we see your room later?"

She shut the door, not bothering to answer.

* * *

When she stepped out of the bathroom, she was glad she was wearing a robe. Not that she walked around naked, but still.

Rukia was staring in wonder at her guitar, plucking random strings, and Ichigo was hunched over her iPod. Luna's temple throbbed. _I thought shutting the door without answering would be a good enough "**No**"!_

"Is there a particular reason you have your hands on my iPod?"

He jumped. "Just curious, why else?" He replied without even looking up.

She just shook her head and looked over his shoulder. "You like Tokio Hotel too, Ichigo?"

"Who doesn't?"

"I could count for quite a while how many people in this wing of the building _alone_ don't even know who they are!"

"That should be illegal!" Rukia yelled out of nowhere.

Luna grinned and nodded. "I think we shall get along just fine."

* * *

After a long time of talking about Soul Reapers, Karakura town, Tokio Hotel, and other random crap, they finally left.

Luna sighed and flopped down onto her pillow. The rooms of The Agency were uniformly painted silver -big surprise- but she had painted hers lime green, her favorite color. After the agency painting it twice, and her _re_-painting it three times, they gave up and let her keep it that way.

No one else dared to (if they even cared about the color of their room in the first place), most dreaming of a vacation and knowing breaking a rule would jeopardize that. She chuckled out loud. "A vacation isn't likely with all these recent cases," she said with a tired sigh.

She looked at her posters and sighed again. When Luna was thirteen, she had started putting together the surroundings of her dreams, reading about what she saw, and taping posters of the locations on her wall.

She had a _lot _of them, too. There was Tennessee, New Jersey, Tokyo, Florida, and a few other places she hadn't been able to identify as of yet. It was hard to tell which ones were actually part of her life and which ones were just random places her mind wanted her to see for herself.

The most interesting was probably Tokyo. She had felt a strong to the place, which kind of made sense with all the spiritual pressure there. Even the Agents who had never been there knew it was famous for being a hotbed of spiritual activity.

But hands down, the weirdest thing about her past was the images themselves. Luna loved drawing, and sketched them while they were still fresh in her mind. She had tons of them folded up in a shoebox, but there was always a few specific ones that would keep popping into her head. One of a huge monster, and another of a handsome man walking towards a door.

But the most unsettling was more of a vision, one she remembered quite vividly considering she had to have been an infant at the time.

In it was a man with long white hair comforting a crying woman, then approaching Luna. He picked her up and shushed her, which made her realize she was screeching like a banshee. Luna was then taken to the woman, and it went dark. Though she hadn't seen the woman, she tended to think about her an awful lot.

Whenever she thought of her, Luna's chest and head started to ache. Sometimes she wondered if it was her mother, but she remembered looking through an album Will had and seeing her mom with black hair and bright blue eyes.

Which explained _Will's _black hair and bright blue eyes.

Besides, Vision Woman's was so much redder and prettier in Luna's opinion, and her eyes were a brilliant hazel, unlike Luna's dark brown ones.

It was just a weird coincidence, one of the mysterious things tying them together.

_...Right?_ Luna sighed and covered her face with her arm, making the world as dark as possible.

* * *

There was knocking on his door. Ichigo groaned before rolling off his bed onto the floor. Crazy as it sounded, he rolled off the bed as a form of entertainment. The room seemed to radiate boredom, what with the overwhelming silver tones and plain walls.

With absolutely nothing in it but a bed, a door, and a desk with a chair. The chair wasn't even a wheelie one, which was depressing in itself. Not that he would act like a dumbass and twirl around in it, but at least the sound of the wheels rolling across the floor would provide some background noise.

But there was nothing.

Ichigo stood and opened the door, almost sighing in relief. It was Rukia. He was prepared for it to be a guard, there to escort him to a shooting range. Or gas chamber. Or a chair with straps, a syringe at the ready.

Something like that.

Not only was Rukia not going to be sending him to his death, she would also provide some form of entertainment. Especially if he called her Midget, as he so often did. In fact, he made a mental note to do that while she was in here.

That way, he could even entertain himself after she was gone by poking one of the new bruises she was bound to inflict or something. She blinked up at him. "...I was hoping that somehow your room was more entertaining than mine."

Ichigo waved a hand towards the inside of his room. "Feel free to inspect it. It should take less than a minute."

"Thirty-three seconds, actually," Rukia replied after sighing and leaning against his desk. She then looked up from her Chappy-sock-covered feet to smile at him. "So, what happens now?"

"You're asking _me_?"

"Is there anyone else in the room?"

He scowled at her, and she just smiled some more. _Damn, she's been around me too long. I remember when my scowl used to get her to leave me alone..._ "Well, I would ask what you think about those two Agent girls we met, but Tara told us all what you think about at least one of them."

His scowl deepened by epic proportions, and now he _really _wished it still worked on the tiny Soul Reaper. "Dammit, she blew it out of proportion! Like hell I'd call her! I would just want her number so I could show Keigo so he could mope for a whole week about how I'm still the Reigning King of Epicness."

Rukia sweatdropped. "King of Epicness? Ichigo, I've never heard anyone call you that."

"Oh, but they will."

Her temple throbbed, and she just shook her head. "Whatever you say, Kurosaki. But seriously...that Luna...something's off about her. Do you feel it?"

Ichigo thought for a second, then nodded. "Yeah. Almost like she's...not really there. Like she's totally clueless, but at the same time, she's unbelievably smart. It's weird." Rukia sighed. "I seriously considered that perhaps she was a Soul Reaper. Silly as it may sound. I just...can't think of any other explanation for that energy. It's not normal."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Couldn't it just be the ability to sense ghosts, like I have?"

Rukia shook her head, making her dark bangs fall across the top of her eye. "No, that's not it. I mean, I sense that as well. I know she has some type of spiritual element to her, a strong one, but...there's something else there. Some kind of life energy, that gives her strength. Like reiatsu. But then there's something...extra. Something dark, and unnatural on any plane of existence. Very dark..."

Ichigo's temple throbbed at the dramatic undertones in her voice, shaking his head. "I knew Karin shouldn't have let you read that damn Stephen King short story collection."

* * *

Tara shut the door quietly behind her. The room was brightly lit, the walls lined with tons of monitors and various other types of screens. Many of which were connected to a computer. Many scientists of different fields sat by the monitors, staring intently or writing furiously across sheets of paper on clipboards.

"Sir. The temporary Agents have been placed in their rooms. All Agents, new and veteran, are accounted for on my wing." Her superior nodded. He was a tall man, with dark features and even darker intents.

That Tara knew for a fact, having gotten a few rare glimpses whenever his mental barrier weakened in the slightest. Many of the people she worked with had set up mental barriers. The youngers ones, such as Luna and her brother, took great pleasure in thinking random things and making her laugh in front of her superiors.

Luna may have been hardened after The Rogue Incident, but her mind often displayed those rebellious characteristics that even the Agency couldn't beat out of a teenager. Though they had tried so hard with Luna, their favorite specimen since she first arrived.

It was a fact commonly known among the elder Agents. Most simply knew her as The Experiment, or The Youngest Agent. But those who worked with her never forgot her. Depending on when they worked with her, they remembered her in two ways. Before The Rogue Incident, they remembered her as having been one of the few whose personalities hadn't been shaped by the Agency, and for her rebellious spirit.

After The Rogue Incident, they remembered her for her lack of emotion when her orders involved killing Targets, or for her formality, or for her intelligence. "Just like the other specimens," they would say.

Only those close to her, like Tara, knew that rebellious streak was still very much alive within her. She was just often afraid of the results.

"The Experiment won't be in the dark for much longer," her superior commented suddenly, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Tara glanced over at him. "Oh? In what way, sir?"

He held her gaze, her gray eyes making a sharp contrast to his sharp green ones. "How long do you think it will be until she wonders how come the most informed Agency in the world keeps telling her she has no last name? If she starts addressing herself as Luna Sasaki, someone will remember that Incident. Someone we don't need knowing. Which leads to more messes for us to clean up."

She nodded quickly. "I see. Sir, if you do not mind my asking...why were Will and Luna Sasaki never prosecuted? They were found in the streets, were they not? People would believe they were delirious with hunger, they'd be locked away in a mental institution at best, and Will would at least be sent to some type of correctional facility..."

"That one's simple. No matter how starved they looked...no matter how wild the looks in their eyes were...no matter how much evidence the prosecution might have provided, no matter the fact that no reasonable doubt would be produced in a case like that...the human mind always finds doubt. There is always some form of 'What if?' lurking in the subconscious. And with a story like theirs, the people's 'What if?' would ring too loudly. The illusion of logic they have would be shattered. And besides..."

He walked over to one monitor in particular, studying it. She studied it as well. It was green, for night vision, the lights having automatically turned off in that wing's dormitories. The person was unmistakably Luna. She always sprawled out like that. She had an arm across her eyes, the other arm hanging off the bed.

Luna stirred, as if feeling their eyes on her. She actually blinked groggily, looking around briefly before yawning, rolling over, and going back to sleep. Still on the wrong end of her bed. He looked back at Tara.

"Agent Surandon, what kind of Agency would we be if we did not harvest whatever potential we could find? There is something...extra about that Subject. And the Agency has made it our business to find out exactly what that is, so our Allies may harness that extra quality for purposes like ours. To do so, more tests are needed within the next year. We cannot keep our Allies waiting too long, Agent Surandon. Understood?"

She nodded, her expression neutral. Her thoughts, however, were grim. "Yes. Understood."

* * *

"Get up, get up! Time for our first mission as a team!" Rukia cheered, making Luna jump awake.

"Rukia don't yell, it's way too early for enthusiasm," Ichigo moaned.

Luna sighed and popped her head out from under her arm, turning towards the light coming from the doorway. "What time is it?"

"Three in the morning!" Rukia replied, her tone still unbelievably happy. Luna stared at her, still squinting due to the damn lighting in the Agency. "You're not human."

"Nope. This is just a human body I have rented," Rukia replied, unfazed.

Luna sighed. "Why don't you two go wake up Becs, while I get dressed."

"Okay!"

Luna grinned as the door shut behind Rukia, who was dragging Ichigo to certain death. "I should probably dress for a couple funerals."

* * *

"Two boys and a girl were reported as looking strange, bewildered, and otherworldly just outside of DC," Tara explained just as Renji's head was about to hit the table from lack of sleep.

**"We're in Washington, D.C.!"** Becs shrieked, causing Renji to jolt awake with a grunt. Tara flinched, and everyone sweatdropped. "Thank you, Rebecca. As I was saying, normally we wouldn't pay attention, but the boys are...strikingly beautiful, and one poor girl tried to hug one of them. He turned into a rat," Tara finished, almost sounding unsure of herself.

"Whoa," Renji and Ichigo commented as everyone else stared at her.

"Yes. So, we need you to take care of _that_. But also, we have run into another case. Sadly, a young girl's body was found on the outskirts of Tokyo, a weird symbol carved into her neck. The victim was identified as Kohlie Hajisuki, age 13. What put this case under our jurisdiction was not only the symbol, but the multiple fresh surgical incisions on her body. As if someone were using her for experiments before her untimely death."

Tara opened a folder and handed a couple of blown up photos to Renji. "I want each of you to look at these, so you know what you're up against.."

After a few seconds Renji let out a breath and handed them to Rukia. "That's pretty gruesome. Not as gruesome as some other things I've been up against, but all the same.."

Rukia looked at the photos thoroughly and nodded. "Yes, I agree." She was serious. Now Luna was getting a little anxious. She handed them to Ichigo, who flinched. "Holy shit. I've never seen anything like it.."

He handed them quickly to Luna, and she looked at the bizarre cuts and incisions as if they were nothing. She had killed people before, this was no different. _Yeah it is! She didn't do anything wrong, and you never do **that **much damage.._

Luna shook her head slowly and looked at the next photo, focusing on a symbol on Kohlie's purple, bruised neck. It was a weird one, for sure. It was like a spiral with a triangle on the side, and it was so familiar. She gasped and her body went numb. "That symbol.."

* * *

_It was the man again, the one who left. Luna noticed he was wearing a green jacket, and tied around his arm was a blue band with a metal plate on it. __And the plate had the same symbol as the one on Kohlie's neck? _

_**Go figure.** _

_Finally, one of her visions paid off._

"_Please, don't go," the woman pleaded._

_"The village needs me," he replied stubbornly. "What'll happen if we don't all pitch in? That Fox'll destroy everything Konoha has worked for! Our ancestors' hopes, their dreams... they were all put into this village, and everyone in it. Kushina needs us too, who knows what kind of condition she's in now!" _

_The woman sighed. "I know, I know. You're right. As usual," she muttered. _

_The man laughed. "I bet you just wish you could fight too," he teased. _

_The woman made a huffing noise and he laughed again before pulling her into his arms. "And what would we do if she didn't have a future, Kira?" __They glanced Luna's way and the woman sighed again. "Don't ask me that. You've already proven your point. You're just like Minato, y'know." _

_The man shrugged and grinned. "Isn't that why you married me?" he teased, making her temple throb. _

"_And just like my mother, you know how to ruin a moment."_

_"Oh, yes. You're mother **always **makes a way into our conversations, doesn't she?"_

_Kira crossed her arms, then gasped as a tremor shook the ground. "It's getting closer. You have to go.." _

_He kissed her before walking towards Luna and kissing her forehead. "I'll be back before the sun even comes up, little one. That's a promise.."_

* * *

She snapped back into the present. "Konoha."

Tara was silent while question marks popped up above everyone else's heads. She stared at Luna long and hard, then nodded once. "I see. Interesting..."

Ichigo was first to say something. "What the hell are you two talking about? Would you mind sharing with those who aren't freaks?" Luna rolled her eyes and Tara shot him a glare. Suddenly the phrase _If looks could kill_ flashed into Luna's head.

"Though it may not seem like it, I am your elder both in rank and lives. I have lived for almost three centuries, Soul Reaper. And I assure you, you don't even know the _meaning _of the word freak until you've seen me when I'm hungry."

Her eyes flashed crimson, and Ichigo shut up.

Luna smiled smugly. _I told him I knew a woman who was 87% vampire, but he didn't listen... _"Now, Luna, do you mind explaining?"

She shook her head quickly, a little intimidated herself. "That symbol triggered a vision... I saw a man, and he had the same symbol as the one on Kohlie's neck-"

"Did he do it?" Ichigo asked eagerly.

"No!" Luna snapped. "_As I was saying_, he mentioned the name of a village: Konoha. The rest is not beneficial to our case," she added quietly.

Tara nodded with that wistful look of hers. On the inside, Tara was worried. When her superior said it wouldn't be long, he sure wasn't wording it that way for dramatic effect...

This was more than a little alarming, her piecing things together so soon. She just hoped that Konoha wouldn't have as many ties to Luna as it appeared to have. If it did, the Agency was in for major difficulties.

Rukia was the first to speak. "So...where's Konoha?"

Luna bit her lip thoughtfully before answering. "Definitely another dimension. Konoha and our Tokyo are linked together, though. I just _know _that city has a way to get to Konoha..."

"So it's settled," Tara said after a long minute of silence.

"Renji and his team will take care of the Washington case, while _your _team will handle the Tokyo case. We will keep both teams on standby in the event that either one needs backup."

Everyone got up, and Luna groaned. "I was hoping Will's team could come too," she muttered. Becs rolled her eyes. "Like _that'll _happen. It's too convenient for _both _of us."

Luna held up a finger as they left the room. "Point."

Then she practically ran down the hallway. "We're off to Tokyo! That's one poster down!"

* * *

**Okay, just a heads-up: the first two chapps will be kinda long, the 2nd one probably the longest, but after that they'll be much MUCH shorter, i promise!**

**I'll probably say something about that in the next chapp, too.**

**Thanks for reading it in all its longness and enjoy! :)**


	2. Boy Meets Girl

**Again, sorry these first two chapps are so long. Just bear with me, people!**

**Oh, and I'd like to explain a couple terms real quick: sweatdrops and templethrobs.**

**I dunno if they're really called that, but that's what I call them. They're used a lot in manga and anime.**

**Sweatdrops look sorta like tear drops on the side of the character's head, usually along with a "WTF", "OMG," or "Why the hell is it always _me _the odd things happen to?" kind of expression on the character's face.**

**Templethrobs show up when the character's annoyed, and are those cool-looking plus sign thingies on their heads, usually red. They always make me laugh :D**

**Usually they have one of those "WTF" looks on their faces, too.**

**Just thought I'd clear that up :P**

**Thanks and enjoy :)**

* * *

"Are we there _yet?_"

"No, sir. We aren't much closer than when you _last _asked, less than a minute ago."

"Whatever."

Luna sighed as the flight attendant continued down the aisle, shaking her full head of blonde hair in annoyance.

"Can you at least _pretend _you aren't annoying and that you have patience?"

"No."

Becs groaned from behind them. "How can someone that cute be _so _annoying?"

"You're thinking out loud again," Ichigo teased. "Shut the bloody hell up!" He laughed and put the earphone back in his ear.

Luna gave him a look. "You're lucky I'm letting you borrow one of these."

"Sympathy is a powerful thing, especially when dealing with hormonal chicks." She stayed quiet, knowing by now this was his way of thanking her. Sitting with him was _not _how she imagined spending a twelve-hour flight. But, at least _she _got the window seat. And she got to draw, so she was entertained.

Luckily, she had come prepared; she brought an earplug for her other ear while Ichigo started singing. At least, that's what he _said _the godawful noise was.

She had gotten so absorbed in her random picture, then suddenly sighed. "You know, it's not polite to stare, especially when people are trying to concentrate on drawing."

He rolled his eyes. "Like drawing talking sushi takes a lot of skill." Luna just stuck her tongue out at him. They were quiet for a minute until Ichigo started freaking out. "What, Ichigo?"

"What the hell do you _mean _'what'? There's _color_ coming out of your _pencil, _you freak!"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, that. Well, Strawberry, if I concentrate my energy towards the pencil hard enough, it puts color into it. Hence the need for concentration. Cool, huh?"

"Why'd you call me Strawberry? You haven't called me that since two days ago, and you weren't even talking to me. And yes, it's pretty cool..."

"Because you called me freak. You have a nickname for me, I have one for you, so ha."

* * *

When they finally got to the rented home they would be staying in, Luna immediately collapsed onto one of the beds upstairs.

"Didn't you sleep almost the whole trip?" Becs asked incredulously. She sighed. "Yeah, but Tokyo has a lot of waves, lots of restless souls, which takes up my energy, and...it's confusing, but exhausting nonetheless."

Becs nodded that slow nod of hers when she thought someone had lost it. "Right...I'm gonna go do something productive now.."

"Like what? Flirt?"

"Pretty much."

"Go on."

Luna rolled her eyes as she left. "She's giving me gray hairs early, I swear to God."

She rolled onto her stomach and closed her eyes to try and remember the dream she had had on the plane.

* * *

_It was a teenage girl, by the looks of it, but Luna could tell by her face it was the red-headed woman from Konoha. Maybe this was what the village looked like at daytime when a huge monster wasn't ravaging it...it looked nice..._

_The girl was laughing with four other kids- one was the man she would end up living with. There was a teen with blonde hair, a much younger kid barely out of the toddler stage with kind of weird brown hair, and a much older girl with blonde hair and huge...well, some things Luna didn't need to remember that badly. _

"_I can NOT believe you did that," Kira said through laughs in what was meant to be a scolding tone. "You really **are **a dumbass," the older girl said with a sigh after her own giggles stopped. "I'm just glad Kira and I weren't in there when you did that!" _

_Kira nodded in agreement. "I would've had to beat the crap outta you for it." The blonde guy rolled his eyes and she grinned a little. "Okay, well, I'd send Tsunade on you," she said with a chuckle. _

_The blonde girl laughed. "It would be my pleasure, K." Blonde dude looked at Tsunade. "Wait, why are you even here?" She slung an arm around Kira's small shoulders. "Because Kira's like the little sister I never had, and Jiraiya insists you have potential, so I wanna see it. That a problem?"_

_Luna could tell the blonde liked her last statement, and apparently so could Kira, because she smirked as he resumed his bored expression with great difficulty. _

_The younger kid finally spoke up. "I still can't believe you got away with it...How?" __Blonde dude shrugged. "Easy. See, around the hot spring building I found this hole, so I looked through it. Turns out it was on the women's side," he said with a far off smile. _

_The dude from her other dream rolled his eyes. "He must be reliving it." That sent everyone into hysterics again, and the dream had faded. _

Okay, so that dream wasn't too important. But the one after it was totally different.

_

* * *

_

_The teenage Kira was walking to a well, and she was humming something. After a while, she started singing. _

_"Here's a lullaby to close your eyes, goodbye...it was always you that I despised...I don't feel enough for you to cry, oh well...Here's a lullaby to close your eyes, goodbye, goodbye...goodbye..."_

_Her voice was so pretty Luna almost couldn't believe it. And the song was so familiar..._

_A branch cracked nearby, and Kira pulled out what looked like a throwing knife, but Luna couldn't be certain. The look on Kira's face told Luna that she must have been told to be very alert. _

_It was just the youngest boy from the group in the last vision. "Hi Kira." She smiled and put her knife back into her shoe. "Hey. What are you doing here?" "Looking for Shizune. She_ _was looking for Mizuki, and she needed some back up.." _

_Kira rolled her eyes. "Mizuki, huh? He's always getting into trouble. Not half as much as Mitsuru does, though!" The boy laughed. "That's for sure. No one could beat his record." His expression turned curious. "What was that song you were singing? You know, before I scared the crap outta you," he added with a smug grin. _

_She turned a little red and rubbed her arm. "...You heard that?" He sweatdropped. "Well, yeah, you were kind of belting it out back here.." _

_She laughed a little. "I don't really know what it's called, but my mom used to sing it to me all the time when I was little, and it kinda stuck with me. Sometimes she'll hear me humming it and go all nostalgic," she said with a chuckle. _

"_You sing good." She smiled. "Thanks. Maybe I'll teach it to ya while I'm busy avoiding the hot springs for a while.." _

_He laughed again. "That'd be wise. It's part of his and Minato's daily routine now!" She pointed at the growth to the right of them. "Weren't you looking for Shizune and Mizuki?" _

_He started bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Oh. Right. Bye Kira!" "Bye!" She shook her head as he left. "That kid is full of energy." She started basically doing gymnastics on tree limbs and throwing knives everywhere, hitting red targets, ..._

* * *

It looked like Kira belonged in a Russian circus now that Luna thought about it. And she didn't know why, but that dream seemed real important to her.

She wondered what had happened to the man and Kira after the talk they had had during the attack on Konoha. _How come there isn't some chronological order to these? It would make things so much easier... _

* * *

"If we're actually gonna _do our job_, you need to wake up, Luna!"

She jumped at the sound of Becs's voice. "Jeez, Becs! I think they heard you back in DC," she muttered moodily as she climbed out of the bed. "We gotta go see the body in person," Becs explained. "I know, but does it have to be NOW?" "YES! Jeez, Americans are so lazy!"

Luna sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Yes, yes we are. We like to sleep. So let me sleep!" Becs shook her until Luna swore she had seen what the back of her skull looked like twice. "Wake up!"

Ichigo looked a little scared for Luna's life. "Damn. Don't give her _more _brain damage!" "Alright, alright!" Luna shouted, temple throbbing. Becs let go and laughed nervously. "Well, let's not keep the car waiting!"

Luna groaned. "It's so not fair! Damn that car!"

Ichigo looked at Becs. "You _actually _gave her more brain damage!" Luna rolled her eyes. It actually kind of hurt to do so. "_No_. I just hate that Becs knows how to drive and I don't!" Becs shrugged. "Only one member of each team was required to learn how to drive. I can't help it that I'm the favorite."

She snickered and pointed at Becs. "You're only the favorite because the old guys on the committee can see up your skirt so easily!" Ichigo and Luna burst out laughing as Becs glared at them. "Remember who's driving you, that's all I got to say."

* * *

"So, _that_was Kohlie," Becs said with a sigh. They were looking at old photos of her that were left on a table outside the autopsy room. Class photos and such.

Becs had pulled some strings; it turned out one of the interns was a big fan of exotic British professionals. Luna kept her tone blank. "She looked like every normal thirteen-year-old." Ichigo scoffed. "Like you would know what normal looks like. She looked like a nerd!"

Luna crossed her arms defensively. "Yes, I do! The informational videos they made me watch were very informative on the normal adolescent! And nerds are just smart kids, you have no right to pick on them because you're a dumbass. The average kid likes to hear praise once in a while and it is natural for their growth," she stated, a direct quote from one of the videos.

Ichigo shuddered as if she had just said she ate toenails. "That's my whole point. 'Normal adolescent'? Hasn't anyone told you, you _are _an adolescent! You have no _idea_ what a normal kid is like. Some things in life, videos _can't_ teach you."

Just then the doctor let them in. "I should probably warn you, it's quite unsettling. We haven't cut her at all yet, so we don't know any more than what the outside portion of her body tells us."

* * *

Becca let out a small gasp at all the incisions. "This kid was tortured," Ichigo seethed, anger clear in his voice.

Luna took a step closer to the body. "The cause of death looks pretty obvious. Kohlie probably bled out from all these wounds. That or the severity of them alone. By the sloppiness of the stitches, they were done in a hurry, which means her wounds were stitched up after she died."

The unprofessional doctor pointed at Luna with a sweatdrop and weird look. "Is she a martian?" "She might as well be," Ichigo muttered. She ignored them.

At least the investigator in the room knew what business was about. "_Or_, her killer could've just been inexperienced."

She scoffed. "I'm sorry sir, but look closer at these wounds. This was done by a professional. The tools were readily sterilized and sharpened to the right amount, judging by the pricision, coloring, and angles of the incisions."

"Also, the stitches were done like they would've been done by any other doctor in Malibu for plastic surgery or ER doctor for a busted head or something. There's no way someone inexperienced could do all of them exactly correct and symmetrical like this."

The investigator looked impressed, and the doctor looked like he still thought she was a martian. "I see your point. Now, would you three mind giving your insight on her _internal _wounds?"

Ichigo turned a little green at the thought. "I will," Luna offered at the looks on her team's faces. The doctor nodded and reluctantly handed her a scalpel. "Don't worry, I have had medical training," she assured him.

As she started to cut the body open, Becs fainted and her cute intern caught her while looking at Luna in disbelief. She ignored them and continued cutting Kohlie open.

Normally this would disgust a lot of people. Not Luna. She was numb to these kinds of things after years of forced practice. But when she finished cutting the body open, even she felt an extreme white-hot flash of rage and disgust towards Kohlie's killer surge through her for a few moments.

The investigator gasped. "Never, in my thirty-five years on the force, have I EVER seen something like this."

The doctor stared in disbelief, and Ichigo looked about to throw up. Her intestines, her lungs, her heart...they were all gone.

"It's like they were...removed," the investigator said in disbelief. Luna sighed.

"No offense, but _duh_. By the looks of it, this poor kid had most of these organs removed while she was still living. Mainly the smaller ones. If he had started with the intestine, she would've been dead by the time he got to the next organ, probably the left lung."

"The only thing left is half of her rib cage and spinal cord," the doctor said in disgust. Poor Kohlie was literally nothing but a shell.

Right about then Ichigo started to help the intern try reviving Becs. Luna had never seen anything like this. Who would have enough of a _stomach_, much less the _skill_, to successfully empty her body with no trace of anything left behind?

They were told there was no blood at the crime scene, which they had combed for hours after the discovery of Kohlie's corpse.

"I should've known something was off when I cut her open," Luna said with a sigh. "No blood, not a drop, came out. I figured you had emptied the body of the blood already, but that wouldn't make sense.." Her gaze lingered on Kohlie's eyes, closed as if she were sleeping peacefully. That always unnerved her; how their eyes could look so peaceful, yet you know they didn't die peacefully, and probably weren't even resting peacefully yet.

Sometimes she wondered if it was best to let the poor people's eyes stay open until their spirits rested. That way whoever looked at them could understand their pain, instead of leaving it to people like her.

Not just an Agent, but an Agent who _sensed _spirits like these. Who _attracted _spirits like these. Kohlie's spirit might not have been nearby, but Luna could feel the fear and pain that girl had felt in her last moments enveloping her in waves, and she finally had to leave the room.

"She probably just needs to use the bathroom," Becs told the others as she left, though Luna had a feeling she knew exactly what was wrong.

She escaped to the chilly Tokyo night air, leaning on the wall of the building next to a random man smoking. She wished she could see her breath; she used that method sometimes to distract her. Times like these, when spirits died so violently, it was hard to distance herself from them. Like she needed to. She had learned that a long time ago.

So after shaking her head politely at the cigarette the man offered her, Luna counted the crushed gum spots on the sidewalk she was standing on, and when she ran out, counted the leaves on a nearby tree until Kohlie's screaming had left her ears. Finally, her head stopped pounding, and her stomach stopped churning.

Luna sighed and pushed herself off the wall, heading back inside, putting her hands in her green-and-black jacket's pockets and counting her steps. She was used to ghosts trying to talk; if you ignore them, they have to leave you alone after a while. You only have obligations to them if you acknowledge them.

But it was spirits or demons that died like Kohlie had, out of cold blood and by gruesome methods, that had always been the hardest for her to ignore. Even though she was one of those few _good _assassins, she still caused her victims that same pain.

_So, Kohlie...what happened to you? Huh? And why the hell did you have to make the unfortunate mistake of assuming I'd help your soul?_

* * *

After taking photos, sending them back to the Agency, talking to Tara about it via phone so she could carry it on to _her _boss, and explaining to Becs what she had missed, (which resulted in almost having to revive her again) the "hot intern" drove Luna and Ichigo home so him and Becs could go on their promised date.

When they got out, Ichigo shook his head as the car drove off. "Today was a long day. I found out new things about my partners- one's a flirt and one's a robot." She crossed her arms as they went inside. "Hey! I am NOT a robot! Robots don't have feelings, and I happen to _have _some of those! Plus, I am _not_ made of _metal_, and I assure you I don't run on batteries!"

He scoffed. "You have _feelings_? Could've fooled me! Anyone who's 15, and knows everything about normal stuff through _videos_, and doesn't even _blink _when they give a diagnosis while cutting open a dead thirteen-year-old girl like that, is for sure a robot in my book."

She sighed. "This is normal. You're still in the stages of angst and therefore death is new to you. After a while you'll grow somewhat accustomed to the thought of death, just like Becs has. She's still getting used to the autopsy and investigation portion, obviously, but that's understandable in the average teen."

He gaped at her. "Hello? Haven't we been over this already? You _are _a teen! That is, if you're not a robot, like you _say _you aren't. But you might as _well _be a robot...or a zombie. Dead to the normal world. On that note, I'm going to leave you to your mechanical thoughts as you try to sort out what it is us 'average teens' do with our spare time."

With that, he walked into the den and she heard a television switch on. _Okay, that stung a little. _She sighed and leaned against the wall. "Am I a robot? No... At least, I don't think so.."

She shook her head and looked to logic, as she usually did in these situations. "No, I can't be. I have to breathe, don't I? I sense things. I feel things, like fear, anger, confusion, and when I run a long time I feel the rush and burn at the same time..."

Luna paused. "And when he was around...sometimes I _felt _my heart.." She put a hand where her heart was, listening intently before sighing in disappointment. "Nothing. As usual. Did they take it out?" Luna wondered. It was still all too new for her, even now. She looked at the floor, trying to picture him again to see if her heart would react as it used to.

His light brown hair with darker wisps, the bright, piercing green eyes, his- "What the hell? Did I make you _cry_?"

* * *

She jumped and gave him a weird look. "What are you talking about?" Then she noticed her voice was a little stuffy, like her nose. She wiped her cheeks and they were wet.

"Oh. No, it wasn't you."

"Oh, I was hoping you were talking about _me _like that just now," he commented with a smirk. Her temple throbbed. "Never in a million years, Mr. Yoplait."

"Yoplait?"

"Like the yogurt."

"Oh, _I _get it! You love the taste of the strawberry kind, so you call me Yoplait."

"Actually, that's in my bottom five. My favorite's orange."

"Well, I have orange hair."

"Coincidence."

"Uh-huh, sure." She sighed. "I'm going to go take about five sleep pills and go to bed."

"Don't overdose yourself! A robot is quite useful on the team."

"Shut the hell up!"

* * *

As soon as Luna woke up, Becs blabbed for hours on end about her date. Well, really it was about five minutes, but same difference.

"Uh, you're dating my _brother_, y'know." Becs gave her a pleading look. "_Please _don't say anything. It was for the good of the mission!"

Luna narrowed her eyes. "Next time, _I _take one for the team. I won't let my brother get hurt, Rebecca Kensington!" Becs hugged her. "Thanks Loony!" She waved her off. "Yeah, yeah." Becs watched as she made up her bed, wincing occasionally.

"You always do that when you wake up. Why?"

Luna shrugged. "I have no idea. I suppose...I am just stressed. It's been a long near-month." Actually, she more than supposed that was the reason. She had been doing near-constant activity while running on five hours of sleep at the very most a night. Some nights, she'd have less than three.

Other times, she'd get enough hours, but be plagued with stress-dreams. All this spiritual activity made it a really bad time to be an Agent, and even worse of a time to be a sort of medium on top of things. She didn't like calling herself a medium, because mediums were helpful. She basically told ghosts "Fuck you, my problems are bad enough without you whining to me every five minutes!".

Some people would call that mean, cruel, selfish. Luna called it necessary. It was either ignore the dead or listen to them and eventually commit suicide so she'd be able to think her own thoughts for once.

Becs sweatdropped. "...That's all rather interesting. I kinda already picked up on that stuff, though." Luna paled. "Was I thinking out loud again?"

"Definitely."

"Sorry, I...like I said, I am stressed."

"No worries. Okay, anyway, today we explore Tokyo!"

Luna perked up. "Really? They'll let us?" Becca bit her lip and Luna sighed. "What's the catch?"

Becs sighed. "We have to tail some suspects for the Tokyo PD. Their files are downstairs. Well, copies of their files, anyway."

Luna sighed as well and trudged downstairs. She plopped into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, next to Ichigo.

If he still shared the same opinions as he had the previous night, he showed no signs of it. Luna picked up a file, practically glaring at the words as she read them.

"'Kagome Higurashi. Reported coming out of a well near the crime scene around the time of the victim's murder.'" Ichigo gave her a weird look, and she nodded. "That definitely falls under the heading of suspicious person."

"Ya _think_?" Ichigo shook his head and looked at his. "'Unkown'," he said with a laugh. "Why are you laughing? That's considered serious, Ichigo."

Luna was confused, but then she saw his picture. "What died on his head?" Ichigo shrugged. "A wolf, maybe? 'Reported by the well and accompanying Ms. Higurashi to her home'."

Becs waggled her eyebrows. "Can you say bow-chika-wow-wow?" Luna blushed. "Becs, we don't know that!"

Becs rolled her eyes. "Please. _You_ just wish you and-" "Shut the hell _up_!" Becs blushed. "Oh. Right. Sorry." "And to be honest, no, I don't. I could go my whole life without that image of us," she grumbled before taking a huge swig of her orange juice.

* * *

"So, this is where Kagome lives? She's probably on her way to school right now." She sighed. "I've always wanted to go to school..." Ichigo gaped at her. Her temple throbbed. Since their targets were so..._acquainted _with each other, they were looking for them together. _Splendid_.

"Now I'm sure of it. You're a robot. No _human _kid would say that!" She sighed dreamily as they walked towards Kagome's school. "You don't know how lucky you and Rukia _are_, Ichigo. I had to learn everything through videos. You want to know what my schedule was?"

He nodded. "My only guess is frequent oil changes." She shot him a look before clearing her throat.

"At five I woke up and was served a small organic breakfast and protein shake. At nine, after watching two videos or more about certain topics for that day, I was taken to the criminology lab and taught medical techniques and forensic anthropology. Forensic anthropology is the study of human bones," she explained at the blank look on his face.

"Oh. I knew that."

"After that, at precisely 10:45, I was escorted to their own lab to have tests run on me to try and figure out why I have my abilities and how far they can go. They never work, might I add. Afterwards, I am taken to a room to work on my fitness and cardio."

"How?"

"Well, they start out small, like scaling a fake wall or climbing a rope across the room near the ceiling."

"Yeah, _small _stuff," he agreed with a sweatdrop. "This girl is _not _human," he muttered.

"You've already said that. Lots of times. After that, I am given a late lunch that is basically my dinner. But that was before I was sent out into the field and put on Becs's team, so it was only until I was about eleven."

"ELEVEN? You were a...kid?" She gave him a weird look. "Doesn't everyone do that stuff? They told me it was called a...workout? Yeah, that's it."

Ichigo stopped walking and planted both hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eyes.

"Normal people do _not_ scale buildings, fake or not, for a workout. Usually never in their entire lifetime. Normal people don't learn about anthropology and criminology while they're still kids, if they even learn it at all. Normal people don't learn about other people and everyday life through videos. Normal kids don't have to go through weird tests, being poked and prodded like a lab frog. And normal people do NOT spend their life in a stainless-steel prison like that."

She didn't say a word as they kept walking, but her mind was whirring a mile a minute about what she thought had been a moderately normal childhood that simply had unusual methods.

* * *

"Kagome Higurashi, eh?"

"Yes, please. It's pretty urgent." _Thank God Ichigo and I know Japanese.. _The lady nodded. "Right, got it. I just need the family password." They looked at her blankly. "...Family password?"

She looked at Ichigo. "Families have passwords? There is a _lot_ they didn't teach me about normal families.."

He sighed. "No, they don't. _That_part they got right. This must be one of those schools that have these passwords set up for every student so no one they don't know picks them up." Ichigo showed her a fake badge the Tokyo Police had given him, thinking it might come in handy. "We're with TPD."

The lady instantly reached for the phone. "Mrs. Nagasaki? Could you please send Kagome Higurashi to the main office immediately? Yes. Thank you." She hung up the phone. "She's on her way up with her things. Please tell me she's done nothing wrong. She's a good kid, watches my kids all the time, she even takes care of her younger brother Sota without many complaints. She's like a saint, has the patience of one too. There's no _way _she's done anything.."

Luna gave her a fake smile. "That's what we're trying to find out, ma'am. I am sure everything will be fine and she will be released from questioning and back into her normal regime swiftly and safely."

The lady seemed perplexed. "People don't really talk like that anymore. What's your name, child?" "Luna, ma'am." "And mine?"

Ichigo looked at the woman strangely, while Luna squinted in thought at the spirit-energy vibrations the woman was sending out before replying, "Naomi Mitsukia."

The woman nodded sagely. "As I thought. I knew there was a strange aura about you. You know what is not to be known, and most likely can see what cannot yet be seen. Sometimes what already has been seen, yet the eyes do not know."

Ichigo was about to have a "What the hell?" spazz-out, but she stepped on his foot behind the desk and beyond the woman's view. "Yes, that is correct. You can as well?" She asked over his groaning.

"Just people's fates, destinies, desires. Mainly things that deal with affection." Luna nodded. "I understand. There is something you see about my friend or me?" "Both of you." She pointed to Ichigo and Luna grinned at him as the woman closed her eyes. "Ichigo Kurosaki?"

He gulped. "Yes ma'am?" "Would you like to know what I see about you?" "Uh...sure?"

The corners of Naomi's mouth twitched a little, almost forming a smile. "You..." She smiled for real this time. "Are in love. One who flies, one whose spirit has been permanently intertwined with your own. Do not follow the path less traveled, young Kurosaki. Follow the path that is not there."

He stared at her for a minute, then wordlessly looked at Luna as if to say _This woman has totally gone nuts. _"Her turn!" He said eagerly, pushing Luna forward a little, and she sweatdropped. "What happened to 'She's totally gone nuts'?" She hissed, to which he just grinned.

Naomi smiled. "I wanted to see what I could get from you the most. Orange here is not _nearly_as interesting..." Ichigo huffed, which made _Luna _grin. Naomi cleared her throat and closed her eyes again.

"Luna, you do not remember much of anything about your early life, do you?" "No, ma'am." "And you..." Naomi gasped. "I see. You _have_ been in love, haven't you? Once."

Luna's throat closed up, so she just nodded after a moment. _I think so_, she thought, not able to say them out loud due to her throat. The woman closed her eyes again. "Ah, I see. His name...Alex."

Luna felt like she was going to faint. _How the hell does she know about him? I thought she was a fake or something!...I thought I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore.. _The woman sighed. "And you thought you wouldn't have to hear about him anymore, Luna?"

Luna nodded again, still unable to speak. For once, Ichigo was quiet. Naomi closed her eyes again and Luna cringed. _Why is it always so damn dramatic when it's my turn?...__Please, don't say out loud what I've done. Please...Not when Ichigo has just started to tolerate me..._

The woman gasped. "This...has not happened before.." "What?" Luna asked urgently. She couldn't take more surprises. "I hear a different voice.."

Ichigo touched her arm. "I think I see Kagome, we should probably get her..." She tried to move, she really did. But her legs wouldn't let her unless she wanted to collapse entirely. Naomi continued. "Now _Alex _is talking to me...he misses you." Ichigo stopped tugging her along and she froze on the spot. "What did she just say?"

"He wants to talk to you again, but...He's-" "Kagome Higurashi!" Luna blurted out, and a girl with long, wavy black hair stopped. "That's me..." Kagome looked at Ichigo's shocked face, to Naomi, to Luna, who must have looked extremely upset, and sweatdropped. "Is this about Inuyasha? I told him to go home, but he never listens. What did he do this time?" Her face turned red with anger. "Did he pick on that Doyle kid across the street again? I TOLD him that 'yo momma' jokes mean _nothing_ like he thinks!"

Ichigo snapped out of it and shook his head. "Uh...no." Naomi all of a sudden made a weird noise. "Luna, trust me...you are not in the wrong..."

* * *

Luna turned red. "What are you talking about?" "There's a reason he's gone...not because YOU sent him away..._fate_ sent him away...the man who caused you so much grief so long ago...I am seeing an 'S'...but there is _another _one you have known...one who knows...one who heals..." Her voice faded, then rose back up. Ichigo gave Luna a look. "She's in some kind of trance," Luna explained. "It happens sometimes to us...I thought she was a fake!" She hissed.

"Yes, he heals...yet he might damage all...one who fights, who would _kill_, to protect those close...yes, you know him well...it takes a monster to know a monster." _I'm...a monster? _"I'm a monster?"

Ichigo shook his head. "No way. The worst you could be is a robot. Don't listen to her, she's full of shit." Luna glanced at Naomi uncertainly. "Everything else she said was TRUE, though.." She heard Naomi mutter as they left, "This poor child shall find _no peace_!"

Even after Ichigo and Kagome practically dragged her out due to her being weak in the knees still, Naomi's voice played over and over in her head.

Luna probably should've been thinking about Alex, but her mind kept whirring over the _other _statements. _This poor child shall find no peace...one she's known..I'm seeing an 'S'...the man who caused you so much grief so long ago...It takes a monster, to know a monster.._

* * *

"...While I'm glad to be outta calculus, mind telling me why two TPD's came for me?" Kagome asked after they were out in the fresh air. Fresh air had helped Luna a lot, and now she was back into business mode.

"First off, who was that lady behind the counter?" Ichigo asked. Luna gave him a quizzical look. "I told you, her name is Naomi Mitsukia.."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. Is she fricking insane?" Kagome shrugged. "Well, her mom thought her uncle was a Kitsune and she used to think her sister was Tomoe Gozen reincarnated..."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Well, I'd call _that_ a big yes.." Luna felt a little relieved. There's no way she was a credible source-she was _clearly_mentally incompetent! "Now, on to business," Luna prompted. Ichigo cleared his throat. "Oh, right. We have sources that tell us you were very close to the crime scene during the time the victim was murdered, coming out of a well."

"What murder victim?" Luna took over. "Her name was Kohlie Hajisaki, age thirteen." Kagome gasped and her eyes watered. "No way, not Kohlie! She was so _sweet_!" "You know her then," Luna stated. "Of course, she lived across the street, a couple houses down. Even _Inuyasha _liked her...W-What happened to her?"

"Well, first she was cu-" Ichigo elbowed her in the ribs. "...She was murdered?" Ichigo nodded. "She was murdered. Thank you, Luna." He rolled his eyes and held up the picture of his target. "This dude was seen with you, all the way to your house...?" He coughed to hide his laughing.

Kagome turned red. "It's not what it sounds like! Uh...how do I explain this without being put in a straight jacket? ...Hmm..." Luna acted on intuition. "You use the well to travel to a different world, or time?" Kagome gaped at her. "Exactly!"

"And he's from that different time period, obviously, judging by his clothes and hair." "Yes!"

"And he's somehow related to Wolverine?" "Half dog, _but close_."

Ichigo watched them go back and forth, obviously at least a little impressed. Luna felt rather smug; it pays off, being able to sense spiritual energy off people. Hence why she could sense the otherworldly vibrations off Kagome.

Iit was as if the girl had fricking swan-dived into it.

"So...is that their alibi?" Luna nodded. "They were in a whole different area at the precise time of the murder. That's what we'll tell them." Kagome cocked an eyebrow. "Why not tell them the truth?"

Luna sighed. "Can you explain this time?" "Fine."

After Ichigo had been trying to make the story all dramatic like she had, Kagome eventually got it. "Ohhh, I get it. So...Luna's a robot?"

Luna slowed her pace to match theirs and smacked Ichigo upside the head. "_God_, Ichigo! You _know_ I'm not!" "You sure?" "Yes!" "Oh."

She rolled her eyes. "Ichigo is a bit...well, stupid." Kagome giggled. "I deal with that a lot."

* * *

"...So _this_is what take-out's like." Luna slurped another noodle and sighed with contentment. "I _like_ it! We should get _this _at the Agency instead of those organic crud muffins." Becs nodded. "True that."

Kagome watched them with a grin. "I aim to please." Luna smiled, slurping happily. "You succeeded!" When she couldn't possibly eat any more of her lo mein, Luna grinned at them. "I want to show you guys something, now that Ichigo's occupied. He'd ruin it."

He had been looking for Rukia the rest of the day, she had run through Tokyo sightseeing. Personally, Luna thought he probably found her by now and they were taking advantage of it by walking around doing God-knows-what. At least, that's what SHE would do.

Luna led the way into her room, then opened the window and climbed out. She sat on the roof and motioned for them to do the same. She sighed, totally zen. "I love it out here. The energy is neutral here, noise level in the negatives, and-"

That's when she felt it. "Becs, get Kagome inside." Becs sighed, but did it anyway. "Is this really necessary?" Luna didn't reply. She felt a huge disturbance, one that made her feel like she was going to rock right off the roof.

"Something's coming."

Sure enough, a few miles to the east, there was an explosion and bright purple light, and then it was gone as quickly as it had come. Becs and Kagome let out a gasp, and even Luna's eyes widened in surprise. "I wasn't expecting something, or someone, with _that _much energy.."

Luna made a split decision. "Becs, stay here with Kagome in case Ichigo and Rukia ever get back. I have to check that out." Becs's accent turned heavy as she tried to talk Luna out of it the whole way down the stairs. "Luna, it could just be an explosion from all the work over there. That's a construction site, I saw it myself when I was walking with my target...we were checking out the construction workers and they were whistling at us and such!"

"Becs, there is absolutely_ no way _that was a normal explosion and you know it. Besides, your precious dudes in uniform could be hurt." Becs sighed. "_Fine_.."

* * *

"Okay...since she said it was a construction site, and it went off approximately three miles east, it should be..." Luna halted the energy flow in her legs that made her go faster so she wouldn't collide head-first into the chain-link fence ahead of her. "Here. Wow. _That's _convenient."

She climbed the fence and surveyed the area. "Hmm. Guess I was right." There had definitely been something otherworldly there. She could still feel the waves, and they were off the charts. "Whatever it is, it's still here."

She heard the clank of metal and a chuckle to her right. A figure with weird robes and a purple..._bow _around their waist stepped out from the darkness, a chilling smirk on their face. She noticed the weird headband was around his neck, only it was a music note. If Luna didn't know any better, she'd say it was some dude who got lost on his way to an early Halloween party in some gay bar or something. "You lost, twinkle-toes?"

_I am a true idiot, _Luna thought, mortified. Whenever she was nervous, she tended to say random and sarcastic remarks; this was no exception. He laughed. "Such fire. Excellent."

She gave him a look. "Is that some pick-up line I haven't heard yet? If so, you definitely keep the standard low for the poor, overly-abused last resorts to get some."

He smiled. "Not quite. More of a..._critique_, if you will." He pulled a weird knife, which looked kind of like Kira's, out of his robes. "Now get ready, for here comes a test. It may just be your last," he warned with a laugh that sent tingles up her spine.

She got her body in a position to run; there was no way she could take him with the waves still reverberating, it was already messing with her senses as if she were drunk.

"Well then. Let's dance, twinkle-toes. Don't get your robe dirty."

* * *

Luna was panting heavier than she had in a long time. "There's no way I can do this much longer," she muttered between breaths. This had only been going on for a couple minutes, but she was exhausted.

The waves were also affecting her hearing. Whenever he waved his hand, sound waves came out. She had been lucky enough to dodge them- they had been able to jostle the huge mound of dirt that had been behind her, an amazing feat.

Luna had spent so much of her energy just dodging him and hiding that she wasn't sure if she could even land an attack. In that second, she made a decision she had never before resorted to: she'd have to run. "Where, oh where, is my Chosen One?" _Chosen One? _

She heard another blast, felt its heat even though it was on the other side of the site. Luna glanced around and grabbed one of the bars that made up the skeleton of the new building. Right as she grabbed onto another and started climbing, she heard a voice that _wasn't_ evil. "What the hell are you _doing_?"

She nearly fell off the bar in surprise. "Holy shi-" Luna's curse was muted by twinkle-toes blasting a bulldozer. "I _will _find you, Chosen One!"

She turned her head slightly to see a boy squatting on the bar next to her, blonde hair kept out of his ocean blue eyes with... She groaned at the sight of the now painfully familiar shiny piece of metal. "_Another _one?"

* * *

He gave her a weird look. "...Right. This isn't weird at all. Why is that guy calling you his Chosen One?" He peered at her, and she glared right back at him. "Other than looking slightly familiar, you don't look like anything special."

Luna sweatdropped and continued climbing the pole. "Oh, wow, _thanks_. Look, I don't have time to talk to some dude that pops up out of thin air, AGAIN." He kept crawling after her. "Hey! I have no idea what I'm doing here or where the _hell_ I am, so the least you could do is tell me _that_!"

She kept crawling. "Do you mind talking a little quieter? Trying to escape a very scary and strong twinkle-toes here." He chuckled. "Figures. I pop into some other village, and already there's a weird, delusional damsel in distress."

She stopped climbing and glared at him. "I am NOT weird _or_ delusional, and definitely NOT a damsel in distress!" He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You look like one to me, 'Chosen One'."

"I'm impressed. You can use air quotes, climb a metal bar, AND annoy me at the same time!" She shook her head and kept climbing. "This is NOT what I planned on doing tonight."

He rolled his eyes. "Well, neither did I! Never thought we had so much in common." She grabbed onto another pole with her legs and was about to swing herself up when they were suddenly face-to-face, though hers was upside-down.

"Can you at least tell me how I can get back home before you disappear out of my life forever?" He asked dramatically. She bit her lip, the wind ruffling her side-bangs in and out of her right eye.

Luna actually wanted to _help _him. But the explosions were getting closer by the minute, and he WAS annoying as hell. "Go towards the noise and see where you end up. You two are obviously from Konoha, so maybe you'll know each other."

She climbed the other pole and dashed towards the chain-link fence, towards safety. "Well, Fair Lady Temperance has escaped!" Twinkle-toes exclaimed, slightly shocked. Then he chuckled, a sound that echoed throughout the whole site.

"They will be pleased. Very pleased indeed."

* * *

"I feel like a total coward," Luna muttered miserably. The image of that guy's shocked face kept popping into her head. It was against her natural instinct to leave someone like that, but they _must _have known each other. They had headbands, didn't they?

_Yeah, but twinkle-toes didn't look as friendly as Kira, OR her friends, OR the other guy..._ "Dammit, why did I _do_that? If he's dead, it's all my fault, and he would have a right to come back and haunt me, and when I die, he'll kick my guilty ass to another fricking dimension!" She whined.

Luna gloomily opened the door to her temporary home. Everyone, Rukia and Ichigo included, jumped up at the sound of the door opening. "Thank God, Michael Jackson, and the bloody Queen!" Becs blurted out, nearly hysterical. "What the hell happened?" She sweatdropped. "How long was I gone?" "Thirteen whole minutes!" Rukia said as if it were a year.

Luna sweatdropped. "...Okay..."

"Well? what the hell happened?" Ichigo asked again.

She sighed. "Well, first there was some weird guy with a purple bow, and he called me his Chosen One..." She explained what had happened, editing out the strange and extremely annoying boy she had met. "Whoa. All that in thirteen minutes."

"You forgot to mention **me**!"

* * *

She jumped. _The boy was right behind me the whole time? Oh crap...I didn't do anything too embarrassing, did I? _Other than trip on a banana peel and three-pointing it angrily into a nearby trash can, she couldn't think of anything. Back to the more important matter of what the hell was going on...

"What?...Where?...How, heh, HUH?" Everyone else was just as confused, so focused on Luna's story they hadn't even noticed the door was wide open.

"You're not very aware of your surroundings when you're talking to yourself. I even answered some of your questions on the way, and a lot of people looked at me weird for shouting at you, but you didn't even notice me!" Luna didn't answer, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. "But...how...huh?"

He looked at Ichigo, the only other guy in the room. "Not very bright, is she?"

Kagome and Becca snickered. "How come you didn't mention HIM?"

Luna rolled her eyes. "So, you followed me back here just to scare the hell outta me?" "Not really. I mainly wanted to see if you knew a way back, since you knew where I was from." She shook her head from her position on the floor. "Nope. Sorry. Bye!" He was about to comment when he noticed the abandoned noodles.

"Is that...pork lo mein? It's almost as good as ramen!" He started to get some, but Luna sprang to her feet and snatched it.

"No way in _hell_ are you snagging _my _noodles!"

"You know, you're taught in school to share."

"You are?"

"Duh!"

"Oh. Well, then here!"

"...Really?"

"_Hell_ no!"

"That's no fair!"

"Neither is snagging my noodles! I've never had anything so good to eat since I can remember!"

"..Wow, what do you eat? Crackers?"

"Psh, I wish."

"No wonder you're so skinny!"

"Hey!"

"That's a compliment."

"Oh...Thank you?"

"There you go! You're welcome."

The others watched them go back and forth with sweatdrops. "If you two are done..." Becs held up a phone. "Tara wants to talk to the hot guy."

* * *

"Okay, I have a question- is Tara hot? She _sounds_hot." Luna rolled her eyes as he handed the phone back to Becs. "She can read minds," Ichigo said with a sigh. "Totally ruins it." The guy nodded, and the exchanged woeful sighs. "Yeah, never mind."

Luna rolled her eyes again. "So, are you leaving any time soon?" He crossed his arms, looking very annoyed. "Apparently not. Tara and some other 'team' are coming to 'investigate the phenomena first-hand'. So it looks like I'm gonna be staying here for a while."

Becs pumped a fist in the air and Kagome sat up straighter in her chair. "Yes!" They shouted at the same time. Luna groaned. "I'm doomed.."

He rolled his eyes. "Speak for yourself. Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are?" Ichigo smirked. "I doubt it. They probably call her something along the lines of a lovesick robot." "Shut the _hell_up, Yoplait!"

Blond Guy cocked an eyebrow. "Yoplait?" "His name's Ichigo, which is Japanese for Strawberry, so she calls him Yoplait since they sell awesome strawberry yogurt," Becs explained.

Luna looked at him and crossed her arms. "I hope you like the floor."

Becs flipped her sleek chestnut hair; she always did that when she wanted to make her golden highlights more noticeable to men. "Ignore her. I'm pretty sure it's her time of the month."

"I'd be this annoyed _any_ time of the month, thank you _very_much." Becs just rolled her eyes. "You could at least _try _to be nice," she whispered so only Luna could hear.

"Why?" She muttered back.

"Well, why not?"

Luna sighed, snapping her fingers at Blond Boy to get his attention. "You got a name? Blondie perhaps? Do you find people one way or another, or have a heart of glass? Maybe both?"

Becs sighed and Luna held up her hands defensively. "I tried! It was an educated guess!" He gave them both a weird look before turning to Ichigo. "Is she always like this?" "Pretty much. You get used to it." "Oh. And my name's Naruto."

Luna scowled at the floor, arms crossed against her middle. "Nothing worse than dealing with people who don't understand references to people who were popular beyond the days of these Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus people I keep hearing about."

Rukia and Becs both perked up at the mention of Justin. "I LOVE HIM!" The both squealed. Luna sighed. "Becs, we've been over this, his voice is purely synthesized and nasal!"

Ichigo nodded. "If a synthetic human says his voice is synthesized, it must be true, you guys."

"Shut up, Ichigo!"

Becs simply smiled, pointing out another flawless part of her; her smile looked dazzling against her caramel skin. "Anyway. I'm Rebecca, but everyone usually calls me Becs. Well, except Tara." Kagome batted her eyelashes, and Luna came real close to gagging at the two of them. Just how desperate _were _they? "I'm Kagome, _ex_-suspect."

Becs was about to explain what Kagome meant when Luna shot off the couch and dove for the table. "Don't lay a _finger_on those noodles, Rukia!"

She swore Rukia jumped about three feet into the air. "Jeez, hungry much?" Luna nodded. "Hell yeah!" She replied after swallowing a huge mouthful of lo mein.

"I just fought off a dude from some messed up ballet, climbed fences, AND poles! Not to MENTION all the energy that was totally screwing with my senses! It was one of the biggest kinds I've gotten yet, and the sound waves totally didn't help any..."

Becs sighed. "Well, I guess now you know that's Rukia." He sweatdropped and pointed to Luna, who was currently shoveling the carton's contents into her mouth. "What's she talking about? With the waves?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Only she knows. We just pretend to understand. Probably robotic interference or something." Luna sweatdropped and cleared her throat. "Hello, sitting right here."

She then looked around. "How come I can never find that thing when I need it? Jeez." "Her sketchbook," Becs and Rukia guessed. Naruto blinked. "She draws, too?"

"Great, I hate explaining things. Okay, since I'm out of my element, try to understand since no one ELSE could. I don't really know what the waves are, but it's like... everyone has their own unique energy, and some people's energies are stronger than others. And for some reason, I seem to be the only one on _this_ world who can use that energy to make things happen."

She paused thoughtfully. "Once, I got so scared on a mission that instead of shitting twice and dying, two of me appeared and we kicked the target's ass, but I have no other memory of the incident or how it occurred...I wish I knew how I did it, I'd love to feel that release of pressure again..." Naruto stared at her blankly, then laughed. "Oh, you're talking about _chakra_!"

She cocked her head and gave him a quizzical look. "...Chakra? What's that?" He made what looked like sign language with his fingers, and all of a sudden there was another Naruto beside him. "Chakra's what makes you do _that_!" They said at the same time.

Luna poked it in wonder. "That's exactly what _I _did! Yeah, now I remember!" She made a sign and soon there were two hers as well. She sighed in relief; being able to release some of the pressure of all that pent-up "chakra" really helped her sinus headache. Odd, huh?

"_Sweet_!" Both Lunas yelled at the same time. Ichigo moaned. "Great, now there's two of them."

She rolled her eyes and made them disappear. "You know, somehow I still haven't learned your name." "Luna." "Got it." She stretched and yawned. "I'm gone." She started to run up the stairs, but not before throwing over her shoulder, "You're still sleeping on the floor!"

* * *

_**THE**_ **_NEXT MORNING..._**

To her disappointment, Kagome was back home, there were no leftovers, and Naruto hadn't been a dream. She knew that much after nearly tripping over him.

Luna blinked a couple times in surprise, then tried to burn a hole through him with her eyes. All he did was snore a little louder. "He's lazier than _you are_," Becs agreed, making her jump.

Luna smirked. "What, have you been watching him sleep?" She pretended to write in a book, imitating Becs's voice. "Dear diary- all night, I watched him breathe. In and out, in and out," she stopped to lick her finger and pretend to turn a page, then continued.

"_In_...and _out_...I counted; he breathed about 768, 345, 654 times. _S__igh_." Becs's temple throbbed menacingly. "_No_. Not everyone sleeps in until almost noon." Luna pouted. "Well...everyone _should_."

She got a banana, then came back into the den to peel it. She flicked on the TV, and grinned like a kid on Christmas. "The Grudge Two's on! Yes! There is _justice_!"

Becs rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go talk to Tara to see when they're coming." Luna waved her off. "Sure, sure."

It was right at the part where the stupid teenage girls entered the house, and Luna was on the edge of her seat despite the fact that she had memorized it since it was so much better than the videos she was _allowed_ to see: the educational ones.

"Ooh, is that what I _think_ it is?" She jumped so hard she almost fell off the couch. "Jeez, don't do that!" He ignored her and flipped onto the couch. "I love this movie!" _Well, you **did **promise to be nice, Luna. You might end up being...gulp...teammates, so you might as well start off on a good foot. _

"I do too. I saw it once, at the movies, with..." She paled and shook her head. "Never mind."

Of course, Ichigo HAD to pass through at that moment, and he grinned. "So, you still can't talk about him, huh?" "Shut. Up. Or prepare. To be _eaten_, YOPLAIT."

Naruto looked at her for a minute as Ichigo ran away, then a slow grin spread across his face. "Ohhh...your _boyfriend_. _Ex-_boyfriend?"

She could practically hear the steam coming out of her ears. "What's it to you?" He shrugged, grin still in place. "You seem really pissed about it. He dumped you?" _Okay, screw being nice. _Luna gave him a glare, and was disappointed when he didn't melt. "NO. _I_ dumped _him_."

He held his hands up in surrender. "My bad!" She shook her head and turned back to the T.V.

"...So, where are you from? Ichigo says you're from Robot World, but I don't really think it exists." Luna sighed. "I'm from-" Right as she turned to face him, there was a flash. "...Did you just take my picture?"

He nodded as if it were totally normal. "Yeah, I like taking pictures every once and a while. Keeps me occupied. Sakura gave it to me so I'd stop picking on Sai all the time." She stared at him. "What the hell?"

"I'm told it makes me seem pretty random, yet mysterious and spontaneous." She crossed her arms. "Too bad you haven't _mysteriously _disappeared or _spontaneously _combusted."

She heard Rukia snort a laugh, and Becs sighed exasperatedly. They must've been in the kitchen. "I tell her to try and be nice to hotties every once in a while, and what does she do? WHAT does she DO?"

Luna rolled her eyes and Naruto laughed. "You're pretty funny for a lovesick robot." They had a stare-off, and finally Luna sighed.

"This_ right here _is why I don't like blondes."

* * *

Right as the words were out of her mouth, Tara opened the door, and following her were Renji, Ayumi, Kilik, and... Luna grinned and ran to hug Will. "HELL YEAH! IT'S YOU GUYS!" Tara jumped and Will laughed as the ecstatic redhead practically ran him over. "Good to see ya too, sis."

Naruto watched, then cocked an eyebrow. "He's your brother?"

Will looked him over and grinned. "Who's askin'?" "Naruto. Well, I can see that the men get most of the good looks in your family, huh?"

Becs and Will burst out laughing, and Luna just smiled sweetly. _If only you knew how many plans to eliminate you were going through my mind right now. _

She forgot Tara was there, and soon the blonde "professional" was laughing uncontrollably. "Hahaha! Out the window he goes! Oh good God, she brought a fridge into play? Hahaha!" Luna tried to keep the smile off her face while Tara composed herself.

She may have been in her early twenties for 200-plus years, but sometimes Luna brought out the kid in her, that's for sure. "Anyway...Ayumi's team is here because of one major factor..._you_."

She pointed at Naruto, and he gulped. "Don't worry, Naruto Uzumaki. You will not be harmed. Quite the opposite, really. In fact, we are taking your safety under great consideration, as well as Luna's..."

"Whoa, wait. Why _me_?" Luna asked slowly. Tara gave Becs, Ichigo, Ayumi, and Will a look, and they all headed toward the stairs.

"We are going to discuss in private as to what to do about this. The rest of you may wait in here." Luna flopped onto the couch agitatedly, and those left behind did similar things.

"Well, _I_feel left out," Renji stated. "What're they doing?" Naruto asked. "They're _consulting_. Basically, it's a meeting reserved for the captains and co-captains of the team or teams that are involved. Since I'm part of the matter of discussion for some reason, Ichigo was chosen instead. I totally fail to see what _any_of this has to do with Kohlie's murder..." Luna explained with a glum sigh, bouncing her leg anxiously.

Naruto perked up. "Murder? What are you talking about?"

Rukia explained what had been going on while Luna watched the movie. She looked up, though, when she noticed Naruto's fists clenching and unclenching. "Kabuto."

She sat straight up. "Kabuto?" "A parasitic son of some medical guy. He betrayed the village and joined Orochimaru, and he likes to help him with his _experiments_." He looked at Luna. "What did he do to that kid?"

She almost didn't want to answer, rubbing her arm. "Well...if you _really_ want to know...he made many incisions, for sure...but the most disturbing thing was, he removed all of her organs, blood, tissue...she was completely hollow except for very few of her bones when I cut her open."

He processed that, then gave her a weird look. "_You_ cut her open? You mean, like..." "I simply did an autopsy. It's my job." His look turned to one of disgust. "How can you just cut up a kid like that?"

"Because it is my job, therefore my responsibility, to do so. I am to investigate the case, and do an autopsy on the victim, looking for any clues as to their death."

"Do you always talk like that? And do you even _feel _emotions? Cutting up kids like it were nothing...Damn, no _wonder _Ichigo calls you a robot." Rukia and Renji exchanged a look. "Awwwkwaaard..." They went into the kitchen to "eat". Luna sighed. _Doesn't **this **sound familiar. _

"As I explained to Ichigo, I am pretty sure I am still human. The last time, I don't think they removed anything again to test..."

She put a hand to her heart absently. "Sometimes I have to wonder though...I haven't really heard my heart beat in a while..." He stared at her for a minute. "...You know, I didn't mean for you to tell me your _life story_."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Well, you asked a question, and I answered it thoroughly. It's how I was taught. If you don't like it, don't ask me questions." He looked at her closely, and her temple throbbed. She didn't like people so close to her.

"...Are you bipolar?"

* * *

Right then, Becs and Will walked down the stairs. "Well, _now_I'm worried. Why didn't you tell anyone else about her?" Becs was whispering to Will as low as she could. It wasn't her fault Luna's hearing was so abnormally well.

"I wanted to _protect her_ from it," Will hissed back. "She shouldn't have to remember all that! It'd kill her...it should have the _first _time.." Luna cleared her throat and they instantly stopped whispering.

Her and Naruto exchanged a look at Tara and Ichigo's grim faces. Ichigo couldn't look her in the eye: _not _a good sign. "Well, the matter is settled. Naruto Uzumaki, I can see you know why your safety is of concern." He nodded. "Ayumi's team will be on standby in this world, and Rebecca's team in Naruto's world. Luna's mission, however, is slightly different..."

"You know how to pass into Konoha, Luna." Luna cocked an eyebrow. "..I do?" Tara nodded. "I can see it in your subconscious. You know it well, and you will see it for yourself in, I'd say, a few hours?" Luna nodded, used to her weirdness. "I can't answer those questions, Uzumaki. You would have to ask her yourself, but let's not think so loudly while I'm trying to explain some things, alright?"

"Can't help it he's naturally loud and annoying inside _and_out," Luna muttered, and Rukia snickered beside her. Tara grinned at her. "I'm sure you will _love_ your mission, Luna." Luna gulped. "Hit me," she squeaked.

Tara looked about to say, then her grin got bigger. "You know, I think I will wait until you find the entrance to Konoha. Dismissed. William, Rebecca, come with me."

* * *

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"I think someone drugged me, because I fell dead asleep exactly three hours after we had our little meeting. It's in a well, kind of like Kagome's Feudal Era well. It's less than half a mile from this exact point." Tara nodded. "Very good. FRONT AND CENTER EVERYONE!" Tara barked in a voice meant for a drill sergeant.

Within seconds, everyone was in a single file line in front of her, probably out of survival instinct after hearing her tone. "Good. Now, are we ready to head out?"

"Sir no sir! I haven't been told my mission, sir," Luna barked back sarcastically. Tara grinned mischievously, a grin that was downright terrifying on a person like her. "Ah, that's right. Luna, your mission is..."

* * *

**Oooh, cliffy! I know that doesn't seem fair since you already had to read these first two extremely long chapps, and for that I'm sorry!**

**Don't worry; from here on out, the chapps will be WAYYYY shorter, I promise!**

**Believe it.**

**REVIEW PLEASE.**


	3. Situations

****

Well. Almost a year later, im back to update!

**I had a house fire, and had up to eleven chapps for this saved on the hard drive of my computer. my mom said she would get them off the hard drive this summer, but i got tired of waiting. plus, i got some new stuff to put in the chapps anyway, so i might as well update at least a few chaps for now.**

**I would like to thank elfinwindakachrno. feel free to face-palm me if i wrote your name wrong!**

**You were the reviewer who made me mentally kick myself and update. and now i assure you all the chapps from here on out will be MUCH better written than the first two!**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

"Luna, your mission is...to be his bodyguard, of sorts."

They both immediately screeched "WHAT?!!"

Will leaned towards Becs. "I _told _you she wouldn't like it," he stage-whispered. Tara sighed. "Luna, now is _not_ the time to be incompetent. To put it quite plainly, he's in trouble, and so are you. You protect him, he protects you. You are to accompany each other at all times-"

She cut off with an exasperated look and glared at Ichigo. "NO, Kurosaki, that does _not_ include the bathroom and such!"

Everyone sweatdropped, and Ichigo laughed nervously. "...Sorry, Tara. My perverted thoughts just kind of pop up uncontrollably."

Tara waved him off impatiently and turned her hard stare back to Luna and Naruto, whose eyes were currently the size of dinner plates, jaws on the floor.

"You are to take up residence in his home for the time being. Becs and Ichigo, along with Will's team, will be on standby in the Village Hidden in the Mist. Therefore, Becs and Ichigo shall escort you both to be sure you encounter no hardships on your way there."

Tara paused, and they both slowly shook themselves back to their normal appearances. "I assume you are already packed, Luna."

She nodded quickly, still trying to convince herself this was just a horrible nightmare. "Good. Dismissed. Luna shall show you the way to the portal. Good luck, Luna and Naruto Uzumaki." And with that, she strolled off.

Luna's temple throbbed as she felt Naruto's gaze on her. "Naruto Uzumaki, I have just as much knowledge on this subject as you do. I would appreciate it if you stopped staring at me like you loathe me."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Luna sighed miserably for about the hundredth time, and Becs smacked her arm lightly. "Have you gone bloody mental?! This is the best mission you've _ever _had," Becs hissed.

Luna sweatdropped. "Says _you_.."

Becs gestured to Naruto, currently walking ahead of them with Ichigo now that the well she had described was in sight.

"Take a good long look at him. You have him all to yourself for at least a couple months. Now...What are you thinking?"

"Honestly? I think you made me more depressed."

Becs sighed and waved her off. "What I'd give to be in your place."

"I'll gladly switch out with you!!"

Becs smirked and shook her head. "Nah-ah-ah. You're the only one for this job. Besides. You said you wanted to take the next one for the team, _remember_?"

Luna glared at her before bumping into Ichigo, making him jump with a yell. Naruto snickered, and Luna sighed and shook her head, touching the base of the well.

"Wow."

"What?" Everyone asked eagerly.

Luna glanced at them. "Huh? Oh, nothing, just...the waves here are tremultous."

Naruto and Ichigo stared at her blankly. Becs cleared her throat. "What she means is that it feels very...spirit-y here."

The two guys nodded. "Ohhhhh!"

Luna shrugged and swung her legs over the side. "Well, down I go." And with that, she was engulfed in a bright sapphire light, just like the explosion Naruto and Twinkle Toes set off last night.

* * *

She landed at the base of the well on her feet, scaling it with ease and flipping out of the opening.

She heard a _**THUD**_ as Naruto fell- probably on his ass- and rolled her eyes. Yes, this assignment was going to be just _splendid_.

Luna's eyes then widened. Taking in her surroundings, she realized it was the same place Kira had been years before.

Naruto sweatdropped as she laughed to herself. "What's so funny?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing, just...flashback." He shook his head. "You know, I worry about your mental state."

Luna flicked her hand straight ahead impatiently. "Well? Feel free to lead the way BEFORE I turn eighty-seven, Uzumaki."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Are we there yet?" Luna asked again, swatting away a flimsy branch. Naruto sighed. "Almost there. Thank _god_."

"Why are we going through the forest, anyway? Why don't we just go through town?" She asked, confused.

He glanced back at her. "Well, honestly, I don't want anyone to see you hanging around me."

Luna's temple throbbed, and Ichigo snickered. "Do you honestly think I want to waste weeks of my life following your movements, Naruto?"

"No."

"Just wondering."

"That doesn't mean I have to actually want people _seeing _you."

"What is wrong with people seeing me? Are you calling me a _loser_?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"N-No...Well, yes."

Luna simply made a "Humph" noise and stomped ahead until she was a little ways in front of him. She then pulled back a branch, hitting him right in the gut with it.

He groaned, and Becs and Ichigo busted out laughing. Luna simply smiled sweetly. "That is simply how us _losers _say hello, Uzumaki."

He wordlessly regained the lead. "Just follow me, so I can go home and go to sleep."

Luna mimicked his movements and voice behind his back. What could she say? Forests and blond annoyances just took all the professionalism out of her.

"So, this Village Hidden in the Mist. What exactly will you guys be doing there?" Luna asked.

"Recon, mostly. Apparently Twinkle Toes works for a wanted criminal, Orochimaru. They believe there's a base somewhere in the Mist."

"Hmm...sounds cool. Now why can't I have THAT mission, instead of-" She was interrupted as Naruto stuck out his foot, making her face-plant the forest floor.

Everyone busted out laughing, and Luna sat up, a dangerous look on her face. "You don't realize the magnitude of the mistake you just made."

"You don't realize how confusing you sound," he shot back.

She smacked him hard upside the head, and he smacked her shoulder in response. They soon got into a heated back-and-forth fist fight, and the other two just sweatdropped and shook their heads.

"Guys! Couples aren't supposed to _fight_!!" Becs said over their yelling.

* * *

They both stopped fighting and stared at her. Luna was keeping Naruto at bay with her palm against his forehead, other hand on her hip. He had one hand still curled into a fist aiming for her, the other still holding a bit of her hair he had been trying to yank.

"..._What _did you just say?" Naruto asked her slowly.

Becs and Ichigo chuckled nervously. "Well, you need a cover. Luna couldn't just randomly pop up, you know! So really, the only option was to make it seem like you're dating."

Luna wasn't sure if it was accurate, but according to what Ichigo said later on, her and Naruto's "WHAT?!?!?!?!" was so loud that dogs howled in the distance.

"W-Why can't I just be a long-lost cousin or something?!" Luna protested. Becs sighed impatiently. "Well, for one thing, you don't even look _remotely _alike. And for another...well, it's just very unlikely, right Naruto?"

He nodded absently, still gaping at Becs in horror. Luna would ask about that later.

Ichigo couldn't help himself; he pointed at them and laughed. "You two...are gonna make a wonderful couple!" He informed them between laughs.

Luna held up a finger weakly. "Excuse me, but we passed the perfect tree back there."

"For what?"

"This."

She walked over to the aforementioned tree. It was big, old, and thick. She promptly banged her head against it until Becs ran over and yanked her away from it.

"Loony, get a _hold _of yourself!"

"I don't think she knows how," Naruto commented. Ichigo snickered. "She isn't programmed that way."

They laughed and bumped fists as Becs literally dragged Luna the rest of the way.

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWELVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Becs hugged her for about the eightieth time. "Be careful, Loony. _Promise_."

"I...promise..." Luna managed to get out, and Becs set her back down.

Ichigo and Luna slapped hands together, and he bumped fists with Naruto. "Hey. Play nice, you two. Remember; wait at least until the third date, and always use protection, kiddies."

Luna and Naruto's temples throbbed. "Ichigo, I don't think you have to worry about that, trust me."

Becs then cleared her throat. "Keep your cell on at all times. We're never too far away. And Loony?"

"Yes?"

"Don't kill any more people than you need to. And no, Naruto is not in the category of necessary kills," Becs warned.

Ichigo coughed, muttering anxiously, "Villagers passing through!!"

They all looked over and indeed saw a few families passing by. Becs and Ichigo looked at them meaningfully. "Think of this as practice."

Naruto and Luna exchanged a look of pure misery, and she resisted the urge to punch him as he put an arm around her waist.

The other two nodded in approval, then waved and started to leave. "See you guys soon! Remember, if you need help, we're only a call away."

They waved back. "As soon as they turn their backs, that arm is to be removed from my waist or I will remove it from your shoulder," she threatened under her breath.

Naruto gulped. "Trust me, you don't have to tell me twice."

Sadly, Ichigo must have figured they'd do that, and he walked backwards the whole way, _just _to screw with them.

Luna narrowed her eyes at the orange-haired Yoplait, but did nothing until they FINALLY were out of sight.

To prove how long Ichigo and Becs took to leave, the sun had already set by the time Naruto moved his arm.

They both sighed in relief, and he pulled a key out. Luna momentarily closed her eyes, seeing if she would wake up from this horrific nightmare.

No such luck.

* * *

Naruto swung the door open, and Luna sweatdropped. "...THIS is your living space?"

"Yeah."

She dodged a random sock, among other objects. "It looks like a fricking _hurricane _hit," she commented in dismay.

"Just Hurricane Naruto."

"Which in itself sounds terrifying," she replied.

Luna quickly inspected the place, and nodded thoughtfully. "Hmm. Seems all clear."

She plopped her bags on the floor of Naruto's room. "May I sleep on that window seat?" She asked hesitantly.

Naruto turned around to look at her. "...The window seat? Uhh..I guess. Why would you wanna sleep _there_?"

Luna cleared her throat anxiously. "Well, because, um...That way I can ensure your safety throughout the night."

He just shrugged. "Whatever you say." Luna sat on the window seat, pulling her legs up with her before crossing them.

He stared at her. She stared back, unfazed. Finally, he gestured at himself. "If you could leave for about five minutes and let me change in private, that would be _awesome_."

Luna flushed and shot up. "Oh, right. I suppose I should do the same," she commented as she grabbed her own pajamas and headed for the only bathroom.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Luna cautiously poked her head in the doorway to make sure he was dressed. He was now standing with his back to her, looking at something.

She crept soundlessly to stand beside him, looking down at the picture.

She could easily figure out which one was Naruto. He was accompanied by a cute girl with pink hair, a smiling older man, and a boy that even at the time this picture was taken looked like an Abercrombie model.

"Who are they?"

He jumped with a yell, and Luna bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Oh. It's you."

"Why were you staring at the picture like that?" She asked curiously.

He glanced back at the picture with a half-smile. "Just thinking about how different we all are now."

"And who is 'we', exactly?"

He pointed to each of them in turn. "Kakashi-sensei, me, Sakura, and Sasuke."

"Where are they now?"

"Here, in the village."

"Oh." Luna nodded with satisfaction before popping her knuckles and walking over to the window seat.

She snapped her fingers and whirled right back around, heading for the bathroom. "Wait. Blankets."

When she came back, blanket and pillow in hand, Naruto stared at her. "How do you already know where everything is?!"

Luna sighed as she made her makeshift bed. "It is my _job _to observe such things."

"What IS your job, exactly?"

She stopped and straightened before looking at him. "Whatever I am told to do by my superiors," was her simple reply.

A strange expression crossed his face, one she had rarely seen in her fifteen years. But she remembered it.

It was sympathy, surprise, and confusion. All in one fluid look, which was gone as quickly as it had come. Fascinating, really.

Before she could help herself, Luna tilted her head to the side with an amused half-smile. "That look. It was interesting. I don't receive a look like that very often."

Without another word, she finished her task and crawled into the covers, turning so she faced the window.

She heard Naruto make a weird confused noise, then yawn and crawl into his bed. Luna fell asleep looking at real stars for the first time in at least eight months.

* * *

**YAY! im so proud of myself right now.**

**thanks for reading the first two kinda-crappy chapps and giving this chap a chance :D**

**Reviews would be very awesome!**


	4. Homecoming

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

When Luna woke up, she was panting and had a cold sweat. She had had another dream about him.

Alex, not that idiot Naruto.

Speaking of which, he was still passed out, sprawled across his bed and muttering in his sleep.

Luna sweatdropped as he scratched his butt, and crept into the kitchen before he made her lose her appetite.

She searched all over for something edible, and finally opened a cabinet to find her favorite food in the world.

Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, and a random beam of light fell upon the sacred food.

"...I can hear the heavenly chorus."

* * *

Naruto was pretty fricking hopeful when he didn't see anyone curled up in the window seat. He yawned and stretched, then wandered to get some breakfast.

To his horror, Luna was sitting at a table, eating ramen like it was a gift from the heavens. She slowed her slurping after noticing him, then looked at the bowl in her hands.

"...I can eat this, right?"

"Uhhh.."

"There are 37 packages remaining. Believe me, I counted," she informed him before slurping another noodle rather loudly.

"I guess, then. You like ramen?"

She looked at him as if HE were the crazy one. "Why wouldn't I? Will used to sneak me some on weekends, until Tara caught him. Apparently ramen is not a suitable diet for The Agency's employees."

"What's their idea of a 'suitable diet', then?"

She opened her mouth to say something, but a weird expression crossed her face, and she looked down at the bowl.

"Perhaps I will tell you about it some other time."

"Well, why not now?" He whined.

"Because I barely know you, and some of the information is personal and confidential."

"So...basically you're saying you don't trust me."

She tilted her head to the side, observing him. "Well...I'm not quite sure. Would you like to know what I think of you?"

"Of course," he said with a cocky grin.

She was SO into him, he just _knew_ it.

Luna took another bite of ramen, then swallowed thoughtfully, nodding to herself. "Well. What I think of you? I think you are strong-willed, annoying, thick-headed, and incapable of deep thoughts," she said slowly.

"Oh, and you do not understand me_ at all_. But that is to be expected. _No one_ does, not even my own brother," she said with a shrug, setting her bowl in his cluttered sink as if she expected it to explode.

Naruto just stared at her with a sweatdrop, jaw on the floor. _Who WAS this chick?! How could someone that cute be this infuriating?!_

Then he snapped out of it when he realized what day it was, groaning and kicking a random sock.

She stared at him curiously after they both watched the sock fly into the sink-pile, fresh sweatdrops on their heads. "What's _your_ problem?"

"I have training today. _You_ have to come. Which means you have to essentially meet _everybody_. Crap!"

Another weird expression crossed her face again, but she said nothing and went to grab some clothes.

* * *

"So, Naruto. How would you like me to act?" Luna asked him as they left.

He glanced sideways at her. "Whaddaya mean?"

"Well, my job often requires a different personality. What sort of personality would you prefer?"

That look crossed his face again; the one she had seen last night. Luna just didn't know what to think about all these looks being exchanged between them lately.

"How about you act like yourself? And not the self you've been lately, but your _real_ self."

Luna made a face. "If that's what you want. But I don't guarantee your satisfaction."

"Starting now," was his simple reply.

She fell silent. After a few minutes, he looked at her again. "What're you thinking?"

She looked right back at him. "What?"

"I'm sure you heard me."

"Well, yeah, but..."

"But what?"

"People usually don't ask that."

"I do. All the time. So what're you thinking?"

She hesitated, then had a sudden thought. "Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"What's school like?"

"Boring and stupid."

She looked around; they were currently walking by a fence. "Oh. Well, what I was thinking about was the story."

"What story?"

"Well, people are gonna want to know how we ran into each other. We can't tell them the real story. So..."

"How about this: I got lost looking for a new place to train on weekends, and you helped me get back, and then we started going out."

Luna thought about it, then slowly nodded. "That sounds pretty good, actually. Nice one, Naruto."

"I have my moments."

"So what, are you a kickboxer or something?"

"What?"

"Training, you said. What do you train for?"

He laughed. "Oh! I'm a ninja," he said in a "duh" voice. Luna stopped walking, and he sighed impatiently. "What now?"

She couldn't help it; she started laughing uncontrollably. "Hahahahaha!!! That's a good one! No, seriously, what do you train for?"

"I told you, I'm a ninja. My whole word is _full_ of ninjas. In fact, there's not really many other occupations in our world."

Luna stared at him. "But...that's not possible, not even _remotely_ logical!"

"Yeah, well, neither are lovesick robots." She felt her anger boil, and before she could stop herself, Naruto was pinned against the fence by her arm.

* * *

Her eyes flashed angrily, and he gaped at her in amazement. "_Don't_ call me that. Ever again. I...I'm _not_ mechanical, and I'm _not_ lovesick. Call me either of the terms ever again, and I'll waste _no_ _time_ in kicking your ass."

Naruto blinked, then smirked. "I think I can take you. I'm a ninja, after all."

Luna laughed and let go of him, leaning against the fence as her body shook with giggles. Naruto sweatdropped. "What's so funny?"

She shook her head and looked up at him. "You really have _no_ _idea_ what I do on a daily basis, do you?"

"You already told me. You're...like a servant or somethin', right?"

Luna shook her head. "_No_, moron. _Yes_, I do what I'm told by my boss. But nine times out of ten...I'm an assassin. I exterminate criminals, I silence those who try to expose my agency, and I force anyone who tries to stop me out of the picture. Ninja or not...You wouldn't stand a damn _chance_ against me, Naruto Uzumaki. So I suggest you not call me either of those terms again, unless you don't value your life anymore," she informed him before standing up.

Naruto's eyes were wide, and she tapped her foot impatiently as if nothing had happened. "Well? Lead the way, Mr. Ninja."

* * *

The bell above the flower shop dinged to announce their arrival, and a voice called out "Just a sec!" from the back room.

Luna looked around and sighed. She hated flowers.

"Why're we here?" She asked quietly.

"Ino. Sakura's friend. Either she's here, with Sasuke, or at the Hokage Building. Ino always knows which one it is," he explained.

A blonde in purple strolled out, and made a face after seeing Naruto. "Oh. It's you. Dammit, you made me hurry when I could've taken my sweet time. YOU would've waited."

Then she realized he wasn't alone and gave Luna the old once-over. "Holy crap. Who's the redhead?"

Luna sweatdropped, and Naruto replied in a "duh" tone, "Luna."

"Which is..."

"My girlfriend."

"Ha! Whoa, wait, WHAT?!"

This Ino person peered at Luna carefully, then finally asked, "How much is he paying you??"

Both of them sweatdropped. "I'm not paying her anything!!!"

Ino laughed. "You mean, she's seriously dating you? YOU?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?"

"Well, don't get me wrong, you're definitely pretty hot now, but...She just seems a bit outta your league, is all. I mean, she looks pretty sane.."

Luna smirked at his expression, then cleared her throat. "I've dated worse. And if you think I'm sane, by the time I'm gone, you'll wish I _was_, believe me. I take it you're Ino? Nice outfit, by the way."

She held out a hand, and Ino laughed and shook it. "Thanks! Yep, that's me...I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you're here looking for Forehead?"

_Forehead??_

"You still call her that?"

"Occasionally. God, where've you been, Naruto?"

"Good question."

"Whatever. She's with Tsunade. Actually, I think Sai was on his way to get her..." She said thoughtfully. Without another word, Naruto practically dragged Luna out of the shop, making both girls sweatdrop.

"WE HAVE TO BEAT HIM THERE!!!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

She was now running beside him, and after he finally finished filling her in on his friends and such, she nodded slowly.

"That's a lot to process. So...This Tsunade lady, the Hokage? Does she know anyone named Kira?"

Naruto squinted in thought, then slowly shook his head. "Name doesn't ring a bell. And people Tsunade knows, I know."

Luna scoffed. "I highly doubt that, but whatever."

"You doubt my high standing in Konoha?!"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, you're wrong."

"Uh-huh."

"Okay, you know what?! Less smart-ass comments, more running," he shouted as he sped up.

Luna smirked. Might as well let the poor guy have a head start.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"SAI, WAIT UP!!!"

He sweatdropped at the sight of them; Naruto panting and struggling to catch up to some random redhead laughing her ass off.

Interesting. Naruto Uuzumaki never ceased to surprise him. He looked at the girl, brows raised. "And who might you be?"

She held out a hand. "Luna."

He studied her face carefully as he shook it. There was something different about this Luna, something recognizable that he didn't see often, he just couldn't put his finger on it.

Naruto grinned smugly; he must have mistaken Sai's stare for "checking her out".

"Oh, hey Sai," he said as if he _hadn't _yelled his name and was _surprised _to run into him.

"Hello Naruto."

"I see you've met Luna. My _girlfriend_," he announced smugly. The sarcastic look Luna shot Naruto made Sai feel a little better about the girl's sanity.

"...By girlfriend...You mean 'friend that is of the female gender'?"

"Nope. I mean the kind you make out with."

At this, the girl stomped on his foot rather hard.

_Sakura would be pleased with this Luna girl_, Sai decided as he smirked at Naruto, who was currently hopping on one foot and holding his injured one tenderly.

"I approve of you," he informed Luna, who beamed before pointing at Naruto. "HA! I told you he would."

"Well, of _course_ he would. Anyone smart enough to date me _has_ to be good enough for Sai's standards. Especially if they're madly in love with me, like you."

"Oh, yes. My hero," she replied with an eye-roll.

Naruto nudged Sai slyly. "Told you."

"You never told me that."

"I just did!"

"Oh. I thought you were talking to yourself again."

Luna suddenly nodded. "He does that a lot, doesn't he?"

"Absolutely."

"I _thought_ I heard you talking in your sleep last night!"

"I don't talk in my sleep!"

Luna shot Sai a "Yeah right" kind of expression, and he did his best to return it. Human emotions were so hard sometimes, and for whatever reason, this Luna girl appeared to be attempting to master them as well.

Yes, Naruto never ceased to surprise him, and he could tell already this girl would be the same way- however long she was with them, that is.

_**

* * *

**_

_**SEVEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Luna looked up at the immense building with wide eyes. "Holy _crap_." She quickly regained composure after noticing the smug look on Naruto's face.

"So, are we just gonna stand out here and wait, or..." She trailed off after Sai casually concentrated massive energy waves- uh, chakra, applied them to his feet, and scaled the building with ease.

Luna gulped and looked at Naruto. "I-Is that the only way up there?"

"Yep."

"What about an elevator?!"

"Have you ever tried waiting for an elevator at the Hokage Building?!"

"Gee, you know, I can't recall!!" She shouted back sarcastically.

Luna glanced at the building again, and a slow grin spread onto Naruto's face. "Ohhhh. _I _get it. You're afraid of heights, _aren't _you!"

She sighed in defeat and rubbed her arm anxiously. "Yeah, yeah, I know. An agent scared of heights. It happens!" She said defensively.

Naruto scratched the back of his head in thought. "Actually...this might work out pretty good.."

Luna made a face. "I don't follow."

"What if I carried you?"

* * *

"Sure. Wait, what?!" She asked in disbelief.

He rolled his eyes. "Jeez, it's not like you're heavy or anything! Think about it; that way you wouldn't spazz out over the height thing, and if Tsunade and Sakura see THAT, we're home-free when it comes to convincing them we're dating. And if THEY think we're really dating, so will the rest of Konoha after hearing them talk about it at least eighteen million times."

Luna thought about it, and with every passing second cursed logic. Dammit, he was right. She finally nodded warily.

"Fine. But don't do anything stupid. I happen to _like _being alive for the moment- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!" She shouted as he just randomly picked her up honeymoon style.

He rolled his eyes, and she felt a tingle in the air as he summoned his chakra. "For a deadly assassin or whatever, you're such a damn spazz."

"I take offense to that!"

"You're supposed to. That's why the term 'spazz' was invented."

"I thought it was to give a name to people who flip out over the smallest or randomest things," she said thoughtfully, trying to focus on anything but the ground, already at least fifty feet below her.

"Minor details. You have your version, I have mine."

"Like the chicken or the egg theory?"

"Exactly."

"Oh."

Naruto grinned to himself. "Wow, I think that's the most agreeable you've been for the past five hours."

Luna smirked. "Hey, it's your fault. You said you wanted my actual personality, and this is it."

He glanced at her and gently put her down as they reached the top. "I never said it was a bad thing."


	5. I Like You Much Better When You're Naked

****

I did some major overhaul and editing on my first two chaps, so feel free to go through those again if you want.

**They should be UNDERSTANDABLE now!**

**Hahaha enjoy, and thanks to those who reviewed :)**

* * *

From what Luna could see through the oddly-shaped window, there were three women and a pig in the room.

"No Sai, though. Creepy," she muttered, to which Naruto sweatdropped. "That's Sai for you. Just _creepy_."

He then simply waltzed in there, and Luna followed hesitantly. The pink-haired girl from the picture was there. Older, obviously. She was even prettier now.

There was an ebony-haired young woman there as well, a pig in her arms.

"Hey Sakura!"

She cocked a pink eyebrow. "Hey Naruto. Who's that?"

"Oh, this is Luna," he said, putting an arm around her shoulders. Luna bit the inside of her lip to keep from a: punching him in the gut, b: breaking his arm, and/or c: laughing uncontrollably.

The two girls exchanged a sneaky smile, and Luna and Naruto sweatdropped. "Ohhh. _Hey_."

"Hi."

They heard a rather loud groan, and everyone sweatdropped as Tsunade's head lifted off her desk a whole seven inches.

She blew the blonde hair out of her face and sighed miserably. "Why is that brat here today??"

"Oh, he came to get me, Lady Tsunade," Sakura explained quickly.

Luna was silent, taking in this Hokage. She looked more or less like she had in the flashback; if she hadn't, though, Luna could've recognized her abnormally large chest anywhere.

Tsunade waved Sakura off. "Then go away. So _he'll _go away."

Naruto sweatdropped. "It's always _so_ _fun _to see you, Granny."

The Hokage made a "Psh" noise, then suddenly froze once her gaze landed on Luna. Luna stared back, holding her breath for whatever reason.

Tsunade pointed at her. "Why do you look so familiar??"

"How's she supposed to know?" Naruto wondered out loud, to which Tsunade waved her finger back and forth. "Nah-ah-AH! I was talking to _her_, not you, brat."

And with a random laugh, Tsunade's head fell back against her desk. Everyone sweatdropped some more, and Naruto pointed at the Lady Hokage and laughed.

"Dude, Granny is so _wasted_!!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Soooo...How'd you two meet? I don't think I've seen you around before," Sakura asked curiously.

Sai glanced behind in interest at the other three, who were currently lagging behind and trying to waste all the training time they could.

"Well, you know how I was talkin' about finding somewhere cooler to train a couple weekends ago?"

"...Yeah..."

"Well, I decided her village was a cool place-"

"Psh, more like you got _lost_! When I found you, you were walking in that forest in circles like an idiot," Luna interjected, making Sakura laugh.

"That sounds more likely, knowing you, Naruto. So what happened next?"

"Well, I-"

"I was asking Luna."

Naruto drooped, the background turning depressing, and the other two ignored him. "Well, I was wandering around and ran into him, right? Freaked me out, I thought he was, like, possessed or something. But then he admitted he was lost, and I helped him get home, and..."

"And _then_ what?" She asked, and the two guys of the group sweatdropped at her eagerness, while Luna grinned smugly.

"Oh, you know..."

"She asked me out," Naruto added proudly, to which Luna glared at him. "Did _not_!"

"You _so_ did!"

"_I_ don't remember that!"

"Well, you _did_!"

"I _distinctly_ remember _you_ asking _me_ out because you kept randomly twisting the sentence into something else because youre just THAT much of a spazz!"

"Well...Uh...I think we asked each other out at the same time!"

They both realized that was the closest they'd get to a compromise, and nodded quickly. "Yeah, _that's_ how it happened!" They announced at the same time with triumphant grins, to which Sakura sweatdropped.

Sai was the first to speak. "...It still puzzles me."

"What does, Sai?"

"The competition between the two genders on who should ask who out. Is it always so wrong for a girl to ask out a guy?"

"Yes!!" Sakura and Luna cried out at the same time that Naruto shrugged and said, "Not really."

They both looked at him, and he laughed nervously. "Trust me, if the dude likes you enough, it won't matter either way."

Sakura waved him off. "It's still not right."

"I totally agree."

They exchanged a grin and continued talking animatedly about something while Naruto sweatdropped and picked up speed to walk with Sai.

"Naruto?"

"What, Sai."

"It appears your 'girlfriend' has lost interest in you."

"Only for the time being, Sai. Only for the time being," Naruto commented with a smirk.

* * *

Training was interesting. Yes, interesting was a good word.

Luna quickly figured out who was who; Naruto had told her about Kakashi's trademark mask and white hair, so she assumed the other adult was Yamato.

It was quite obvious who the Abercrombie-esque teen was.

Now she could fully enjoy their expressions as they tried to figure out who SHE was. Right as Luna wondered how long it would take for them to just _ask_, she felt a presence behind her, their chakra aiming for her legs.

She quickly crouched and whirled around, kicking the own person's legs out from under them. Kakashi quickly bounded right back up.

"Ah. No headband, but obviously not an amateur. Who're you?" He asked pleasantly.

"Luna."

"Oh," he said cheerfully as if the mere mention of her name explained everything. "She's my girlfriend!" Naruto added from a good fifty feet away as he dodged Sasuke's fireball.

"Pay attention, dobe!"

"Oh, and like _you _never drool over Sakura?! I think I can explain to Kakashi-sensei who the hell she is!" Naruto retorted, making Sakura blush from a little ways off and Luna sigh.

Both Luna and Kakashi sweatdropped. "Uh...Yeah. That too," she said loudly over the two idiots currently shouting obscenities at each other between attacks.

Kakashi cocked his only visible eyebrow. "Naruto with a girlfriend. Hmm." Then he grinned, shrugged, and went about his business.

Luna sweatdropped. "...Well. _That _was odd."

She quickly assessed the area was clear, and somehow ended up by Yamato, who was sitting cross-legged on the grass.

She didn't realize this, though, until he said suddenly, "So, apparently Naruto has a girlfriend."

Luna jumped, making Yamato smirk, and she plopped down beside him. "That's me. Luna."

"Yamato."

"So, are you meditating or something?"

"What?"

"You were just kinda zoning out over here. If you were bald, I would've mistaken you for Buddha or something."

He looked amused. "Ohhhh. You mean he didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Oh, nothing, it's nothing. I doubt you'll have to worry about it any time soon."

Luna mentally huffed at the man. Crap, now she was going to do absolutely nothing _but _worry herself sick over what the hell Yamato could be talking about.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FOUR ****HOURS LATER...**_

Luna sweatdropped as yet another naked woman strolled on by them. "Um, Sakura?"

"Yeah?"

"What's with all the random naked ladies around here?"

Sakura giggled. "Well, this IS a hot spring.."

Luna paled. "It is?"

"You didn't know that?"

She could've pointed out that she was lucky Will and Becs had taught her what 'That's What She Said' was, but decided to just settle with saying, "Nope, I didn't."

Sakura turned another corner and, reaching into a locker, pulled out a soft pink robe. She then opened some other random locker and pulled out a lime green one, handing it to Luna.

"Here. You're about to have the best half-hour of your life."

* * *

"Naruto?"

He winced. "WHAT, Sai."

"Are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Psh. Sai, if we had any conscience, we WOULDN'T be doing this. But we are _dudes_, and _dudes _have _needs_. It's not like anyone _important's _gonna be in here."

"What about Sakura?"

"She dragged Luna toward town to show her around fifteen minutes ago, there's no way they're done this fast."

Sai sighed heavily. "But Naruto?"

"Seriously, Sai, talk a little louder, I don't think the Mist can hear you as clearly as they'd like," Naruto muttered, peering into the hole in the fence.

"Holy crap, Ino's in here!"

Sai suddenly shot forward, knocking Naruto rather violently into a bush. Naruto let out a sigh of relief, landing only inches away from the thorny bush of the two, then crawled out and smacked Sai upside the head.

"Dumbass!"

"You were right, Ino is _indeed _in here. And she's quite..._bare_," Sai muttered, totally unaware that Naruto had even landed in a bush, much less hit Sai upside the head.

Naruto sweatdropped. "Well, it IS a hot spring. People tend to bathe naked."

Sai moved away from the hole, leaning on the fence beside it as Naruto looked around and recognized at least eight chicks.

"Naruto, are you sure this won't...How did Shikamaru put it a few days ago? Oh, yes: 'Come back to bite you in the ass'?" Sai asked.

His blond friend just chuckled and let Sai try and find Ino again. "Sai, you're with a guy who managed to find the only peep hole in a hot spring known to man! Plus, I'm pure awesomeness and a kick-ass ninja."

"And you have a girlfriend," Sai reminded him. Naruto mentally rolled his eyes. This whole "cover" thing was gonna be _such _a drag, as Shika would say.

"AND I have a girlfriend. I don't think anything could possibly come back and bite me in...Sai, what's with that look on your face?" Naruto asked as Sai quickly shot away from the peep hole and shut his eyes.

"Did you see an abnormally fat chick??"

"No. I saw your girlfriend."

"Ha! Whoa, wait, WHAT??"

* * *

"Hurry up, Luna. The water feels amazing," Sakura said, her tone totally relaxed. Luna bit her lip as she slid in.

She felt like she was being watched. The hot water soothed her skin, and she quickly waved off her suspicion. _You're just being paranoid. This is a hot spring, of COURSE people are occasionally looking at you!_

Sakura smirked. "I still can't believe you've never enjoyed the awesomeness formally known as a hot spring."

Luna eyed her out of the corner of her eye. "Stranger things have happened. Speaking of which, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"What's the deal with you and that Sasuke dude? Are you dating yet?"

Sakura's cheeks turned redder than Luna's legs were going to look once they got out. "N-No, why would you think that?!"

Luna raised her eyebrows meaningfully. Sakura waved her off. "No way."

"Way."

* * *

Naruto just stared at Sai in disbelief. "You mean you-you _saw _her? NAKED?"

"Yes. I do apologize.."

"You mean Luna's _naked_? In there? _Right _there?"

"...Yes..."

"And by naked, you mean.."

"...Naked?" Sai asked, obviously questioning Naruto's mental health.

_Ho. _

_Ly. _

_Shit!_

_This is serious. You know good and well you wanna see, just 'cause you're THAT curious and she IS kinda cute. But if you got caught, she'd kill you. Assassin, remember? Plus, you'd have that image in your head for...like, EVER._

_THEN AGAIN...If she's an assassin, she has to be fit, right? So maybe having that image in your head wouldn't be too bad..._

_One tiny look wouldn't hurt, right?_

_You are a DUDE. Dudes have NEEDS!! _

_DO IT, MAN, DO IT!!! YEAH!!!! _

Sai sweatdropped as Naruto nodded determinedly to himself before cautiously approaching the peep hole.

He counted to three in his head before looking through the hole. He eventually found her, right by Sakura, blowing water bubbles.

At first it was kind of funny, but then he realized he was looking at her...while she was NAKED...and rolled away from the peep hole spastically, his pulse skyrocketing.

Sai sweatdropped. "Hmm."

Naruto glared at him through one eye, realizing he had rolled right into the damn thorn bush. "WHAT, Sai."

"Nothing, really. I just expected you had already reached...er, what did the book call it? Oh, yes. The ultimate level of intimacy."

It took Naruto a minute in his dazed state, but then he spazzed right on cue.

"WHAT THE HELL, SAI?!?! ULTIMATE INTIMACY LEVEL?! IT'S BEEN LESS THAN A WEEK, YOU SICK-ASS PERVERT!!!!!!"

* * *

The outburst made everyone stop mid-sentence. Sakura looked homicidal, and everyone else was either giggling or running for their clothes.

Luna slid completely underwater miserably, hoping maybe she'd drown and never worry about having to somehow live this down.

Sadly, it didn't happen.

She slowly poked her head back above the water, and Sakura was drying off, slipping on her robe.

She smirked at Luna, who was so red in the face that her hair looked brown in comparison. "Ultimate intimacy level. _Interesting_."

"Please just hand me that towel so I can wring his neck sooner."

_Or snap it. Whichever works the best._

**

* * *

**

**Hahaha wow. Can you tell i was uber hyper when i wrote this? **

**I think im gonna go to sleep now.**

**Review would be awesome and make me update faster!!**

**:)**


	6. Careful

**Thanks so much for the reviews and alerts!**

**On to the next slightly-long-but-not-as-long-as-the-first-two-chapters chapter!**

**:D enjoy.**

* * *

There is almost nothing in this world- or any world- more awkward then realizing the person you were being forced to live with for at least a month, had just seen you naked.

At least, in Luna's opinion. Maybe it was just her...?

Either way, she remained more-or-less composed as she followed Sakura around the corner to find the two perverts.

They were by the fence; Sai was pressed against it, paralyzed in fear, and Naruto was mumbling moodily to himself while sitting in a bush. He was covered in thorns.

He noticed Luna; her face was calm, her hair was wet and waving around her face, and her arms were folded across her chest.

Her tone was light. "Well, if you two have seen all you needed to see...I think we've had enough for one day."

Sakura nodded angrily in agreement, giving Sai and Naruto death-glares.

Naruto gulped and shot up, following after them as they stomped away. If Luna didn't kill him, Sakura sure as hell would.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Umm...Luna?"

"Yes, Naruto. What could you _possibly_ need from me at this very moment?" She asked moodily.

"Well, I just wanted to, um...uh, apoligize."

"For _what_?" She asked, blinking innocently at him. It was always so fun to screw with people when they were uncomfortable.

"Well, for seeing you naked!" He said rather loudly as he continued to pluck thorns off himself, right as a group of younger kids were walking by.

Luna flushed. "...Oh," was her simple reply as the youths stopped walking, turned to look at Naruto, and dropped their jaws.

Naruto's jaw dropped as well as he pointed at one boy in particular. "Oh shit...Konohamaru!"

Konohamaru pointed right back at him, his cape fluttering with the movement. "Naruto! You have GOT to teach me your ways again sometime!"

Luna sweatdropped as he proceeded to check her out, and he winked at her. "How _you_ doin'?"

Naruto spazzed out. "Hey, stop checking out my girlfriend, you perv!"

"You're calling ME a perv? _You_ saw her naked!"

"With her permission!"

"Wha- Oh, HELL NO!" Luna interjected.

"Will you just GO with it?" He hissed under his breath while Konohamaru was busy spazzing out.

"How did YOU land a girlfriend without telling _me_ about it? How am _I_ supposed to land one now?"

"He can always teach you _now_, idiot!" The little girl of the group replied while everyone else sweatdropped at Konohamaru's statement.

Konohamaru drooped. "Yeah, yeah, but now he's beaten me to it." He grinned. "I'll make a deal with you, Naruto. Give me the slot as next Hokage to make it up to me!"

"HELL NO!" Was his instant answer.

"Well then, I want your girlfriend as collateral."

"COLLATERAL FOR WHAT?"

"All this has stunted my emotional growth, Naruto! Alright, hand her over. You're comin' with me, sweet cheeks."

"HELL NO!" They both shrieked, then exchanged a curious look before going back to staring Konohamaru down.

He finally sighed heavily in disappointment. "_Fiiiiine_. But in exchange, I shall be the uncle of your firstborn child. No, wait- the _Godfather_. Yeah, that position's _always_ cooler!"

They both sweatdropped. "Sure, kid," was Luna's reply, to which Naruto smirked.

"You wanna have my _baaaaabies_," he said in a sing-song voice after the three kids left.

_**BANG! THWACK!**_

"OW! DAMMIT, LUNA!"

"HAVE YOUR BABIES? IN YOUR _DREAMS_, NARUTO UZUMAKI!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT MORNING...**_

_**THUNK.**_

Luna jolted into an upright position with a yell. She sweatdropped and plucked the shoe off of her butt, throwing it as if it were a biohazard.

Naruto sighed impatiently. "C'mon, it's time to go!"

"Go where?"

"Training. You're late."

"ME? You're the one who has to train. If anything, I should make you late off of sheer principle," she muttered as she curled up and attempted to doze off.

Naruto simply pulled her up by her wrist and threw some clothes at her. "Nope. Today you're training, too."

"Why the HELL am I training? I sure as hell am NOT a ninja," she exclaimed as she slipped off her boxers.

Naruto didn't notice her changing and kept right on talking. She smirked, waiting for the inevitable spazz attack he was going to have.

"You can use chakra. Therefore, by principle, you're just as much a ninja as me. Which, in itself is pretty fricking horrifying," he said with a shudder.

Luna smirked as she buttoned her jeans up and slipped off her pajama shirt. As she expected, Naruto immediately fell over with what she called the Pervert Nosebleed.

"HOLY HELL! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"It's nothing you haven't seen yet! Besides, I'm wearing a bra," she said innocently as she pulled her hair out of her shirt.

It was a little past shoulder length, but _still _managed to get caught in her shirts every single time. Luna sighed contentedly before stepping right over him and heading for the front door. "Well, if you need time to recover...I'll see you at the training ground, I guess."

He shot up and ran after her. "You'll get lost!"

"I have already memorized the way there," she informed him matter-of-factly.

"Impossible!"

"Trust me, Uzumaki, I've memorized more complicated systems."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Luna fingered the slip of paper curiously. Everyone but Sasuke looked like they already knew what was going to happen; Sasuke's eyes were as wide with interest as hers.

"This is a chakra slip. All I want you to do is apply chakra to it, and the way it rips will tell us what element your chakra is. Got it?"

"Got it."

Kakashi nodded, and everyone watched the paper as if they expected it to explode. Luna applied as much chakra as she could, not knowing how much this paper might need.

It almost instantly split right in half, which got some wide-eyed stares from everybody.

Sakura gasped. Kakashi made a "Hmm" noise. Yamato looked up from his Buddha Position with extreme interest. Sai blinked. Sasuke's brows furrowed. Naruto simply said, "Holy crap."

Luna looked around at them spastically. "What, did I do it wrong?"

Kakashi chuckled. "No, you did fine. It's just...this means your affinity is wind. It's extremely rare."

"How rare are we talking, here?" She asked slowly.

"Well...there are only a few main ninja known to Konoha that were or are wind-based. Asuma, his father, Naruto...and now you."

He stroked his jaw thoughtfully, like most guys do if they had a beard. Which Kakashi obviously didn't, but that's what it made Luna think of.

"Interesting. We know why Asuma has the element, Naruto is...well, Naruto...So I wonder where _you _inherited this affinity? How mysterious.."

Luna sweatdropped. "No...y'know, _pressure _or anything." She hated when people found her puzzling or mysterious. Fifteen years of being under close observation of The Agency was more than enough.

Kakashi suddenly stopped staring at her with another "Hmm" noise, and turned to Naruto. "Why don't _you _train your girlfriend? You know more about it, being a fellow wind-based ninja."

Naruto looked from Kakashi, to Luna, back to Kakashi, then sighed. "_Fiiiiiine_." Luna sweatdropped as she followed him to wherever the hell he was going.

"I'm just glad you enjoy my presence so much. It makes this whole cover thing bearable," she commented moodily, to which he just laughed.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Naruto Uzumaki....If I have to split..._one _more stupid...leaf in...half...I'm killing you slowly...and painfully," she informed him between pants.

Naruto couldn't even see her, she was in the depths of a giant pile of leaves. Her shadow clones had poofed away a long time ago (traitors), so now she was left to do it by herself.

What was _Naruto _doing? Well, several things. Drawing in the dirt, drinking some lemonade Hinata had given Sakura to give to him, and occasionally watching what Luna was doing and making sure she hadn't killed herself yet.

"Fine, chill....Before you pass out," he said with a snicker.

There was a rather loud _**THUD **_from within the leaf pile, and Naruto's laughter trailed off.

"Uhhh...Luna? You alright under there?"

No response.

He stood up and walked over to dig her out of the leaves. All of a sudden, she sprang out and flipped him into the pile of split leaves with a triumphant yell.

Naruto came back up spitting out leaves, and Luna was laughing uncontrollably. She then suddenly stopped. "I'm hungry," she said thoughtfully.

She stared off in thought, then shot up. "I'm gonna go to Ichiraku's."

He stared at her. "W-What?"

"What's wrong with my plan?"

"Training's still in session!"

"Oh, _please_. Everyone else's already left."

He stood. "...Really?"

"Yup. I think you just got lost in your sadistic pleasure of putting me to hard labor. But guess what?"

"What?"

"You can make it up to me by paying," she said cheerfully as she headed for the forest outskirts.

Naruto sighed and ran after her. "But that's not fair!"

"Fine, I'll race you."

"BUT YOU GOT A HEAD START! LUUUUNNAAAAA!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Fine...You win...I'll pay..." Naruto said moodily as he caught up to her. Luna slid onto the stool happily.

"How the hell did you beat me? You were exhausted a few minutes ago."

"Naruto, I'm an agent. Acting is kinda in my job description."

"Ohhh, _riiiight_."

"Yeah."

The girl behind the counter suddenly squealed in delight, making them both jump. She beamed at Naruto. "Who's _this_? New friend of yours?"

"Oh, this is Luna. My girlfriend."

The chef nearby perked up at this and zoomed right over to them, making them both sweatdrop.

"Ahhhhh! Hear that? Our Naruto's growing up!" He exclaimed like a proud mom. He then clapped his hands together, making Luna jump.

"I'm gonna whip up something special for you two! On the house!"

Naruto smirked as the chef and girl ran off. "Well, _technically _this still counts as making it up to you."

"Nope. You're buying the next time, too," Luna said simply.

Naruto drooped.

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"That really _was _the best ramen I've ever had," Luna admitted with a sigh of defeat. Naruto let out a triumphant "Ah-HA!"

She rolled her eyes, then sighed. "Hey, Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"If I'm a ninja, does that mean my parents are?"

"You don't know about your parents?"

"You hadn't figured that out yet?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Well, no. My first actual memory consists of monitors beeping and an extremely white room. And disinfectant, so I suspect it was some sort of medical facility," she said thoughtfully.

"There you go again."

"What?" She asked, glancing at him.

He gestured in her general direction. "You went all formal on me again. Do you always do that at random times?"

Luna shook her head. "You want me to be honest with you?"

"Duh."

She ignored that. "Being formal is a good way to avoid my words being colored with strong emotions. Y'know, like hatred, or fear, or excitement."

"Well...What's so bad about emotions?"

"Because, they never mean anything good. Excitement leads to disappointment, hatred leads to actions you'll regret later, fear leads to mistakes, sometimes fatal...They never bode well," she explained as if talking to a toddler.

"Not always," he replied.

"No, I'm afraid it always applies."

"Nope, not always."

Luna sighed exasperatedly. "Just forget I said anything!" _He's so damn stubborn...!_

Almost as if on cue, there was a rather loud _**POOF**_.

They both tensed; Naruto pulled out a kunai. Luna rolled her eyes and fingered her back pocket. Another Twinkle Toes emerged from the darkness.

Naruto got ready for action, but Luna planted a firm hand on his shoulder. "Don't."

She then turned her gaze to the ninja. "What do you want, Twinkle Toes Number Two?"

He chuckled at how she addressed him. "I come with a message."

* * *

"What kind of message?"

"First off, get your comrades off our trail. We won't hesitate to kill them any longer. Personally, I'd _love _to go after that orange-haired smart-ass."

Luna tensed, and Naruto felt it. She cleared her throat. "And what else?"

"You're going to have a visitor soon. Orochimaru would like me to tell you in advance that you are most certainly welcome."

He inched a little closer, and Luna tensed again. Naruto tried to attack again, but she yanked him back by his jacket. "Naruto, _don't_!"

Twinkle Toes Number Two chuckled sinisterly and whipped out his own kunai. Luna whipped out her gun in response, aiming for his shoulder. "I am giving you a fair warning. Come any closer, and I _will_ shoot."

Naruto eyed the weapon curiously, and the other ninja laughed. "You think that odd _stick _will keep me at bay?"

He lunged for her, and before Naruto could do anything stupid, she shot him in the thigh. Twinkle Toes Two flew backwards, Naruto jumped at the noise, and Luna barely blinked.

"I warned you."

He groaned and made a signal she couldn't see before disappearing, reappearing at Luna's side.

He held his bleeding thigh, then slowly let go and glared at her. "Dammit, that hurt. Now I _hope _you refuse your visitor's proposal, just so I can watch when he utterly breaks you beyond repair."

He reached for Luna's throat, and she shot him again at the same time that Naruto yanked Twinkle Toes' arms behind his back.

"Don't you dare touch her!" He yelled fiercely. Luna was a bit caught off guard by that, but still aimed at the ninja with a steady hand.

"You best get going, before you bleed out from those wounds," she informed him.

"I'll...be looking forward to...seeing you again.." He said between pants. Just like that, he was gone.

Luna calmly slipped her gun back into her back pocket with a tired sigh. "Well. _That _was unexpected."

* * *

Naruto's gaze lingered on the gun, poking out of her pocket. "What the hell _is _that thing?"

"A firearm. Aka a gun."

"Whoa. Is that how you usually..._terminate _people?"

Luna continued walking, and he soon followed. "Sometimes. I do whatever I need to." She then shot him a sideways glance. "Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't worry about protecting me, in any circumstance. It usually gets people killed."

She tried not to smirk as his jaw hit the ground and his eyes widened.

"EHHHHH?"

* * *

**Hahaha i love how she just so bluntly tells him she'll get him killed one day..**

**haha review !**


	7. Afraid

**Yay! Reviews! That sounds really desperate, but im so happy i got some more!**

**Let's hope this gets me even MORE.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Luna finally managed to dig her iPod out of the very very bottom of her bag, so she celebrated by making sure Naruto wasn't around and rocking out.

She was right in the middle of doing the robot when she heard snickering. Luna whirled around and saw Naruto in the doorway, doubled over with laughter.

"Hahahahaha...Luna dances? WELL? Hahahahaha!"

She paused the song and huffed moodily at him. "I thought you were gone doing...something."

"I was. I came back. Kind of like a boomerang?"

She sweatdropped. "Did you _really _just call yourself a boomerang, Naruto?"

"Little bit."

"Hm."

"Hm what?"

"Hm as in 'Hm'."

"Oh, that explains everything."

Before she could react, he was by her side and had her iPod in hand. Naruto quickly dodged her fist, and she ended up chasing him around his room about eight times before he hopped on the bed.

While Luna fumed down below, he scrolled through her songs in full-on Monologue Mode. "Hmm. So, what does Luna listen to? Lemme see...Tokio Hotel, nice. Linkin Park, cool. Disturbed. Gee, why does all this _not_ surpri- whoa, wait. Eminem? 50 Cent? Gym Class Heroes? Japanese artists I've never heard of? Katy Perry? Cascada? Paramore? All Time Low? The Beatles? Who the hell _are_ you, Luna?"

"What's wrong with my taste in music?" She cried out defensively.

"It's off the walls! You've got alternative, rock, rap, pop, dance...Even frigging Japanese on here!"

"Is that bad?"

"Well, no, it's just...Hahahahahaha!"

"What NOW?"

"You have Mr. Roboto on here! How fitting!" He said between laughs.

This resulted in Luna glaring at him rather ominously, and Naruto gulped as the background turned very intimidating and angry.

"Are you implying I am _mechanical_ again, Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Ummmm..."

Before he could give her an intelligent answer, Luna had leapt onto the bed and tackled him, retrieving her iPod with a triumphant yell.

She rolled him off and jumped on the bed happily like any average kid. He sat on his ass and crossed his arms, making her smirk.

"Awww, is Naruto pouting? Do you need a nap, or your pacifier perhaps? Now, do remind me, because I forgot...Do you LIKE to lose, Uzumaki?"

"That's it!" He grabbed her by the ankle, making her land on the bed, and he attempted to steal back the iPod.

In a last hopeless attempt, Luna stretched the top of her shirt out and plopped the device in there; Naruto froze, narrowing his eyes, and she smirked smugly.

"Go ahead, I dare you."

Silence.

"Ha! I _knew _you wouldn't do it. Why? Because you can't _haaaandddlleee_ _itttt_! Na-na-na-na-NAAA-na! Yeah, that's right, you-"

She cut off with a shriek as he shot his hand into her shirt, fumbling around for her iPod. "Ahhh! Naruto, get the hell off! Ohmi- bahahahahaha! That tickles, no, stop! Wait, wait, that's my bra! Narutooo, stop! Hahahahaha!"

Naruto just smirked and pulled out the iPod, holding it to a random beam of light dramatically. "Behold! Success! Oh, nice bra, by the way."

"Thank you! Wait...Ugh, Naruto, that's so perverted."

"It's a compliment!"

"A perverted one! You weren't supposed to SEE it!"

"Hey, just be glad you were _wearing_ one, or I would've seen a lot more."

"Nothing you haven't stared at already."

He sighed dramatically. "You're never letting the hot spring thing go, are you?"

"Nope."

* * *

All through training, people were acting....odd. Well, more odd than usual.

Sakura kept giggling at them, Sasuke was giving Naruto the stink-eye every five minutes, Kakashi had this perverted look on his face when addressing the two as if he was thinking about his romance mangas, and Yamato kept giving them suggestive looks.

Sai looked proud and smug.

Hence, they were both worried and more than a little spazzy.

Later, they were all at Ichiraku's, and Naruto finally snapped. "Okay, Sasuke, that's the eight millionth time you've sighed like that. Will you PLEASE tell us what's depressing you, Emo Boy?"

Sasuke didn't even comment on the emo jab, and just sighed heavily. "Sakura heard you two this morning as she was walking by. Now, how come NARUTO, fricking NARUTO, gets some before me?"

Sakura patted his shoulder sympathetically, Naruto looked mortified, temple throbbing, and Luna was confused.

"Um...Get _what_, exactly?"

Naruto looked at her in disbelief. "How do you know all these perverted jokes and facts, yet not know what GET SOME means?" She just blinked, and he whispered in her ear. Luna's face soon turned bright red, a horrified look on her face.

She waved her hands as if stopping a major disaster. In a way, she was. "No no no no NO! Naruto hasn't gotten ANYTHING lately!"

"Lately?"

"I meant EVER," she assured the depressed Sasuke. Poor guy looked like he should be put on Suicide Watch.

Sakura moaned miserably. "Now I have to tell everybody it's not true!"

Naruto and Luna exchanged a look. "Who do you mean by...EVERYBODY?"

"Well, y'know. Ino, Sai, Kakashi, Yamato, Iruka, Choji, Shikamaru-"

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA! You told IRUKA-SENSEI?"

"Kinda," she admitted nervously.

_Who the hell's Iruka? _Luna wondered as Naruto let out a rather loud groan. "Great, just GREAT! Well, at least you didn't tell Tsunade. She'd tell everybody, and I do mean EVERYBODY."

Sakura laughed nervously, her face bright pink, and Naruto banged his head against the table miserably.

Luna paled. "Wait, so...Hinata knows now, too?"

"Ehhhh..."

"SAKURAAAAAA!" She cried out, not even bothering to stop Naruto's head-banging. She wished she could do that herself, but she had been told years ago that doing so would cause the loss of at least 3,000 brain cells per hit.

Naruto's head stayed upright at her wailing. "Wait, what's so bad about _Hinata _knowing?"

Everyone looked at him in disbelief, even Luna. "You didn't know?" She asked.

"One thing you need to know about your boyfriend is that an earthquake could come through and he probably would just assume that Choji fell, or something equally random. He never notices the obvious explanations for things," Sasuke informed her.

"Oh, I know, but to be THAT dense...Naruto, that takes true skill, I'm shocked."

"Will you please just tell me what the HELL I'm supposed to know but don't know?" He snapped.

"Hinata likes you!" She snapped right back.

"Like...Likes me likes me?"

"Yes, LIKES YOU likes you. Jeez, even _I_ figured that one out."

Naruto stared into space. "Hinata seriously _likes_ me? I never knew that. Wow, that explains a LOT."

"Yeah, I know. Why _else _would someone tolerate you?" Sakura muttered.

Naruto looked to Luna for some kind of compliment, but she just nodded. "Sakura has a point."

He drooped, and Sasuke beamed. "Awesome. I still have a chance. What was I thinking? There's no WAY that dobe'll get some action before I do."

Sakura and Luna spent the next five minutes trying to break up their idiotic battle.

_**

* * *

**_

_**A ****WHILE LATER..**_

Luna was in the middle of arguing with Naruto, as per usual, when her cell rang.

"C'mon, just _pleeease _get me an orange? Seeing you peeling one makes me want one _really _bad!"

"You have legs, Naruto. I'm not your slave!"

"But...But I just sat down!"

"Sucks for you, then, doesn't it?"

And then her phone went off, vibrating and ringing on the nearby counter. There are a couple things you should know about her cell phone. One, it's a cherry red LG Shine. Therefore, it's extremely shiny and cool looking. Secondly, her ringtone had been changed by Ichigo. So it now blared the second verse of "Because I Got High".

Add all this to the fact that Naruto had never even seen a phone before, and it's not too hard to imagine him literally _diving _to look at the number.

"Oooh, maybe your _boyfriend's _calling?"

Luna laughed bitterly, which surprised her. She could laugh about it now? "Doubt it, Naruto. That's more or less impossible."

"Hmm. Then maybe it's Ichigo," he commented thoughtfully as he flipped it in the air, trying to see how many flips it would take to break it.

Luna snatched it from him, and he rolled his eyes at the defensive glare she shot him. "And what makes you think it's Ichigo?"

"Renji says he's in love with you."

"Renji's a dumbass. He's in love with Rukia."

"Ah-HA! I knew it!"

Luna then remembered that her cell was still ringing, and she looked at Naruto suspiciously. "What name came up?"

"I dunno, I wasn't paying attention," he said with a scoff.

She rolled her eyes and flipped the phone open without even glancing at the screen. "Hello?"

"_Luna? Man, it's so good to hear your voice again."_

* * *

Naruto noticed she turned a deathly white, and he pointed at the phone questioningly. She waved him off.

"Who the hell is this?"

"_You know good and well who it is. Jeez, at least I hope so."_

Luna glanced at the number on the screen. Blocked number. "Alright, that's it. He wouldn't call from a blocked number. Hang up before I figure out where you live and kick your ass."

"_Luna, even if I WAS a prankster, how could I fake my own voice?"_

"Technology is truly a wonder, isn't it?"

"_Luna, please don't hang up. I really, really, want to see you."_

"I'm hanging up."

"_No, don't, listen-"_

"Whoever the hell this is, it's not funny. So take your sick-ass prank calls somewhere else!"

He sighed, and she felt a pang in her stomach. It was the same sigh he had always made when he was frustrated._ "Luna, please-"_

"Leave me alone. Don't call again, whoever you are." With that, she slid her phone shut shakily.

* * *

Naruto was staring at her, but she ignored him. Luna wordlessly tossed him the orange. "Here. I'm not hungry anymore." As expected, her phone rang again. Naruto didn't say a word as she threw it at the wall.

He continued to try and figure out what had happened as she attempted to get some ice and water into a glass.

"Prank call?"

"I sure hope so."

"What's a prank call?"

"It is when people block their cellular number, so you cannot tell who they are, and then they call you and trick you. Usually they say a common phrase, such as 'Is your refridgerator running? If so, you better go catch it'. Things of that nature. But sometimes, the prank caller is a bit more cruel with his or her humor," she explained.

"Luna...You've gone all formal again," he said slowly. "What emotion are you hiding this time?"

Fear. Hatred. Confusion. Guilt. Pain. Take your pick, Naruto.

"No emotion," was all she said. But she fumbled with the ice, dropping half of them, and threw the remaining ice into the sink with a lot more force than necessary, panting angrily.

Her hands were shaking, Naruto could see them all the way from where he was standing. "No emotion," he repeated skeptically.

Both their heads whipped around to stare at her phone as it rang again. Luna walked as fast as possible to pick it up, then threw it against the floor with a frustrated yell.

He continued to watch in amazement as she paced the room about five times, then simply walked out the front door.

He was about to follow, but then she came running back in. She ran into his room, came out with a guitar in her hand, then ran right back outside. She didn't seem to be crying, but she was definitely shaken up and upset.

Naruto didn't even think it possible that _Luna _could snap. But he was pretty sure she just had. Whoever had called had seriously pissed her off.

So of course he ran after her.


	8. Brick by Boring Brick

**Well, i hope you're in for a kinda long and a little emotional chapp...**

**I just now realized i haven't put up a disclaimer! Wait, did i do one in the first chapp? ...Hmmmm....Oh well. I dont feel like checking so I'll put one here. Sound good? Thought so.**

**DISCLAIMER: I dont own Naruto, any of his friends, or the Paramore Songs. I just own Luna, her friends, The Agency, and this awesome plot line. So there. No stealing. **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Luna didn't know where she was going, she just knew she was whacking branch after branch out of her way.

Punching things felt good.

Very good.

She finally had to sit down, exhausted, and for a while just kept her head lodged against her knees as she calmed herself.

Well, by calmed herself, she meant just thinking of words to express how completely blown away she was.

And then she found the perfect song in her mental music library. The emotions formed the right music and lyrics in her fast-working mind, and she played the chords as if she had played this song all her life.

**"Well, she lives in a fairy tale,**  
**Somewhere too far for us to find.**  
**Forgotten the taste and smell**  
**Of the world that she's left behind.**  
**It's all about the exposure, the lens, I told her.**  
**The angles were all wrong, now,**  
**She's ripping wings off of butterflies.."**

**"Keep your feet on the ground..**  
**When your head's in the clouds."**

**"Well, go get your shovel,**  
**And we'll dig a deep hole**  
**To bury the castle, bury the castle.**  
**Go get your shovel,**  
**And we'll dig a deep hole**  
**To bury the castle, bury the castle.**  
**Ba da ba ba da ba ba da!"**

**"So one day he found her cryin',**  
**Coiled up on the dirty ground.**  
**Her prince finally came to save her,**  
**And the rest you can figure out.**  
**But it was a trick,**  
**And the clock struck 12,**  
**Well, make sure to build your house brick by boring brick,**  
**Or the wolf's gonna blow it down."**

**"Keep your feet on the ground...**  
**When your head's in the clouds."**

**"Well, go get your shovel,**  
**And we'll dig a deep hole**  
**To bury the castle, bury the castle.**  
**Go get your sho-vel,**  
**And we'll dig a deep hole**  
**And we'll bury the castle, bury the castle."**

**"Well you built up a world of magic,**  
**Because your real life is tragic.**  
**Yeah, you built up a world of magic...."**

**"Well, if it's not real,**  
**You can't hold it in your hands.**  
**You can't feel it with your heart.**  
**And I won't believe it!**  
**But if it's true,**  
**You can see it with your eyes,**  
**Oh, even in the dark.**  
**And that's where I want to be, yeah!"**

**"Go get your shovel,**  
**And we'll dig a deep hole**  
**To bury the castle, bury the castle, yeah.**  
**Go get your sho-vel,**  
**And we'll dig a deep hole**  
**To bury the castle, bury the castle..."**

**Ba da ba ba da ba ba da, ba da ba ba ba da ba ba!"**

She played the last chords, then threw her guitar down and rested her face in her hands, panting angrily again.

"...No emotion. Totally."

* * *

Luna didn't dare look up. "Go away."

"Why would I listen to you, EVER?"

"Naruto, I mean it."

"No you don't."

"Leave me alone, _please_!"

"Nope."

Luna let out another frustrated yell, and there was silence. She was pretty hopeful that she had scared him off.

But, alas, he was still there.

"Luna...Who was on the phone?"

"Why should I tell you?" She mumbled.

"Because I asked nicely."

There was silence again, and she heard Naruto shift feet. "Nice job, by the way. 'Brick by Boring Brick', by Paramore, right?"

Luna's mouth twitched, almost forming a smile. Good thing Naruto couldn't see it, she'd never hear the end of that one. "Correct. I didn't know you listened to that. How long were you standing there?"

"Ummm...About around the verse 'It's all about the exposure, the lense, I told her'."

"Oh."

"But anyway, no more changing the subject. Who the hell was on the phone?"

Luna sighed heavily. "Jeez, Naruto, why do you wanna know so bad?"

"So I know who's ass to kick."

Normally, she'd laugh at this, but instead she felt like crying. "You can't."

"Why? You think I can't take whatever douche made you all shaken up like this?"

She shook her head. "No. You can't because it was Alex. And he's dead."

There was total silence. No birds or anything. "...What happened? How'd he die?"

She sighed shakily, and she felt tears welling up. "Me. I killed him."

* * *

More total silence. Luna felt angry again, and she looked up at Naruto. She expected him to look disgusted at her, or scared, or something along those lines.

He just looked curious, sad, and surprised. Not much of an improvement.

She continued to look up at him. "That's right, yes, you heard me correctly. I'm the reason he died. And not because he was protecting me. I literally _killed _him."

"...Why?" He asked shakily.

Luna looked at her hands, currently locked around her knees tightly. "It might take some extra explanation. Do you know what I call The Agency, Naruto?"

"A living hell?"

"No, but close. I call it The Fishbowl. Because it's like being stared at all the time by people with eyes full of wonder or...amazement...or even fear. Mostly scientists. And no matter how much you bang on the bowl, you can't ever get your freedom until you die. Only...I don't believe they will flush me down a toilet.."

Naruto nearly cracked a smile, but not quite. "The Fishbowl," he repeated to himself as if committing it to memory.

"Yeah. And...I was on a mission. I loved missions, still do most of the time. It's the only way I can leave The Fishbowl. Before I hardened my emotions, I used to 'snap' during them a lot. I met Alex on one of those missions. He turned out to be useful, The Fishbowl kept him around, one thing led to another, you get the idea."

Naruto nodded.

"Well...I'm not quite sure how it happened. I'm pretty sure he turned out to be a double agent- someone who pretends to be on our side but's loyal to the enemy. And...the job fell to me, Becs, and Will to detain him by any means necessary."

"Any means necessary.."

"Which, in his case, ended up to be extermination. We...I...tried to get him to just let us arrest him, but he just kept right on shooting at us. As if he hadn't been one of our trusted allies twenty-four hours before. And when he shot Will in the thigh, I knew I had to do it. I had to. I _couldn't _let him damage the only family I had. So..I did it," she concluded, her voice quivering.

* * *

Naruto was silent.

"...Y'know, I still remember how he _begged _me to spare him, to run away with him, things like that. But his eyes...looking back now, I knew he didn't mean a word. The only thing that puzzles me is that...I can't remember anything concerning Alex and I before that incident."

Her anger came back.

"You may not have been able to notice, but I _hate _The Agency. With all my heart, what little heart I still have after fifteen years of their authority. I have good reason, in my opinion. Not only did they do experiments on me without my knowledge OR consent, but they gave me pills after the Rogue Situation, as they called it. I believe those pills have caused my partial memory loss, so I stopped taking them the first night of my stay in your residence," she confessed quietly.

"Wait...what do you mean by 'experiments'?"

Luna sighed tiredly. "I _mean_, they poke and prod me. They hook me up to machines and monitor my heart rate and reactions to certain tests, usually painful ones. And they've even done at least one surgery in which they took something, I think bone marrow. They never told me, they never even told Tara."

She looked down at her feet as she felt the tears threatening to spill. "Can I admit something to you, Naruto?"

"There's more you've been bottling up?"

"Dozens. Remember what I told you about emotions? I...I can't even follow my own principles. I kill Alex, and somehow he calls. And as soon as he does, I lose all self-control. Yet I am certain that if any of my other victims were to suddenly call me, I wouldn't act this way. I don't love him, I really don't, but...dammit, how come he's still doing this to me?" She asked the ground, her voice cracking towards the end.

"Why is this happening? Why can't I remember? In my nightmares, I see horrible things involving him and me...Or me and him...Him and I...argh, who _gives _a shit? I don't like this, I don't _like _not having control of what memories I can and cannot keep. How am I supposed to learn from my mistakes, or laugh at old times, when I can't even _remember _them? The Agency's never done anything for me; I might as well have died out on the street when I was nine. Why not let me have just one thing for myself?"

* * *

By the end of her rant, she was practically yelling, and a quick blink told her she was crying.

Luna lifted a hand to wipe them away, but she couldn't find the will to do it. What was the point? She was dead anyway for telling a civilian all this.

Why not totally lose all control on top of it?

So she did. She just ran a hand through her hair and continued to let the tears fall, not even able to tell if Naruto was still there or not.

If she were him, she would've left her there to herself.

Luckily, she wasn't Naruto. It didn't entirely surprise her as he crouched down to her level and planted both hands on her shaking shoulders.

"Luna?"

"Mm," was her intelligent reply.

"Look at me."

She hesitantly did so, and couldn't look away no matter how much she wanted to.

"You want to know why he makes you act this way? It's because you knew him personally. Whether you loved the guy or not, you had to _kill _him. That tends to cause a bit of guilt. Honestly, if I had been you, I would've had a lot worse of a time controlling myself if he called me. I probably would've shat twice and ran around in circles yelling 'ZOMBIES!' until I finally passed out."

The corners of her mouth twitched again, and that made him smile a little.

"I saw that. You could see it so vividly, couldn't you?"

She nodded shakily.

"Well, anyway. No matter what they've done to you, don't _ever _say you're better off dead. If you think that way, Orochimaru and whoever else's after us will be able to kill you with one hand tied behind their backs. Besides. 'I've seen you cry, far too many times, when you deserve to be alive'."

He smiled smugly in spite of himself as Luna gaped at him.

_Naruto Uzumaki just quoted "Emergency" by Paramore. Did I just imagine that?_

His grip on her shoulders tightened. "No matter how many times he calls you, don't answer. We'll break your phone if we need to. Got me?"

She started to nod, but then the past ten minutes just hit her like a set of waves. Everything just crashed down and sunk into her, and she felt almost separate from her body for a moment.

So Luna just did a sort of half-nod before lowering her head, starting to cry even harder.

No matter how annoying Naruto could get, no matter how many times he might've picked the lock in the bathroom while she was taking a shower, and no matter _how _many times they fought over stupid things, Luna would always remember this.

She would always give him credit for this one moment where she fell apart and he rested against the tree with her as she cried against him.

* * *

**....Well...THAT sucks.**

**(sniffles) REVIEW.**


	9. Naruto's Lack of Education

**Yay, im back! **

**Well, i got visited by Mother Nature today (sigh), and i was half-asleep when this idea just suddenly hit me!**

**Hahaha enjoy :)**

* * *

The next morning, Luna jerked upright after a loud zipping noise interrupted her nightmare. She glanced around to see Naruto bent over her bag.

"Naruto?"

He jumped and gave her a glance before returning to her bag. "Oh. You're alive."

"Very much so. What're you doing?"

"_Noooothiiinngg_...!"

Luna ran a hand through her hair, then cocked her head in interest as his hand suddenly stopped groping the inside of her bag. He ceased all movement, then seemed to be inspecting something.

She sweatdropped. "Uh..Did you find whatever you were so hellbent on searching for?"

He slowly held up an object that made her turn dangerously red. "What's this?"

Her temple throbbed. "You know damn well what that is, now put it back!"

Naruto cocked his head, looking from the object to her. "No, seriously, I don't. What is it?"

_What. _

_The._

_FUCK?_

Luna sweatdropped. "Oh good God...You're serious, aren't you!"

"Duh."

"Naruto...That's a tampon."

He continued to give her a blank stare, and she turned even redder. "You know...A tampon? Have you not seen those Tampax commercials?"

"I never watch commercials, I just change channels until they're over, you know that!"

She now looked so red that Naruto eyed her strangely. "Wow, you look like a lobster!"

Luna sweatdropped. "Thanks.."

"Well, anyway. Sooo, what's a tampon?"

She turned red again, and he stood up. Luna sweatdropped as he peered down at her before resting a hand against her forehead. "Are you sick or somethin'?"

Her temple throbbed. "Not with an illness. Although, I AM sick of some_one_...Please get your hand off of my forehead, NOW," she growled.

Naruto rolled his eyes, flinging the tampon around carelessly by its string as he talked. Apparently he had taken off the plastic part, leaving nothing but the actual cotton-y tampon **(A/N: Speaking of which, what the hell ARE tampons made out of? Oh well.)**. "Jeez, overreact much? Will you just tell me what a damn tampon is?"

Luna shook her head slowly. "You honestly haven't been given The Talk before?"

"Well, gee, in case you didn't notice, I don't really have anyone around to give it to me! Well, except for Iruka-Sensei..."

She threw a hand up in the air. "Well, why not ask _him_?"

He tapped his chin thoughtfully with the tampon, and she burst into silent laughter, not wanting to interrupt this perfect moment. "Well...I think I asked him about Adult Wrestling once, because that's what Shikamaru's dad told him it was, and I wanted to know what his dad meant...but I figured that one out on my own, Iruka somehow changed the subject so he wouldn't have to tell me," he explained thoughtfully.

_**THUD.**_

Naruto sweatdropped at Luna, who had fallen off the window seat and was literally rolling with laughter on the ground.

"Luna...You're starting to freak me out.."

She calmed herself as best as possible, trying not to look at the tampon he was still holding. "Well, um...How about Iruka tells you _now_? I'll go with you!"

"Well...I dunno where he is..."

"Sakura should know. C'mon, hurry up, bring the tampon!" She said excitedly as she more-or-less dragged him outside. He wiggled out of her grip to walk beside her, and he grinned.

"Wow, Luna. I think you're starting to like me a little more."

She beamed innocently. _If by 'like me a little more', you mean 'REVENGE, OH SWEET REVENGE!' …..Then yes, Naruto_.

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWENTY-SIX ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Luna hoped he would leave it in his hand when they found Sakura, but he had stuffed it in his pocket to "Keep the lesser villagers from seeing the confidential item formally known as a tampon."

He had tried to word it like Luna, to make fun of her way of speaking, but _she _was the one still laughing over him rubbing a tampon against his chin a while back.

"Oh, Iruka? He's up at the hospital," Sakura said casually, jerking her thumb in Konoha Hospital's general direction.

Both girls sweatdropped as Naruto spazzed out and started pacing/running around.

"WHAT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW TELLING ME?"

"I thought you already knew, Naruto!" Sakura yelled defensively. Luna just shook her head. "It's best to just let him get all the Spazz out of his system."

"OH MY GOD! IS HE DYING? HE COULD BE DEAD RIGHT NOW, AND HE COULD BE SAYING WITH HIS LAST BREATH 'DAMMIT, I WISH NARUTO HAD BEEN HERE WHILE I DIED,' AND THEN HE'LL BE COUGHING RATHER DRAMATICALLY LIKE IN THOSE CHEESY WESTERN MOVIES, AND ME AND LUNA WILL GET THERE RIGHT AFTER HE FALLS BACK AGAINST THE PILLOWS, AND I'LL SCREAM 'NOOOOOOO!' IN AGONY, AND LUNA WILL CRY, AND WE'LL ALL HAVE A FUNERAL, AND IT'LL BE ALL SAKURA'S FAULT!" He wailed rather seriously, running in circles by this point.

Luna sweatdropped. "Naruto...Naruto isn't very good with emergencies, is he?"

"Not really."

"How can he be a successful ninja if he can't roll with the punches?" Luna asked curiously as he continued to rant.

Sakura smiled a little. "Well, you've never seen him in action, I assume." Luna shook her head.

"Naruto only spazzes when it concerns people he loves. Well, I take that back. He cares for Sasuke, but if something happened to him, he'd laugh his ass off for a good five minutes."

Luna nodded, having already picked up on that, and Sakura laughed. "But when it concerns people he loves and holds close...Anything could happen. He could get destructive, he could spazz and run in circles, he could...Anything," she said again.

Luna watched him a little longer before sighing, running beside him and grabbing him by the arm.

"Naruto, that MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN...IF you don't hurry up and get there! If we hurry, we might be able to alter this horrifying fate of Iruka's! Thanks, Sakura!" She called out to the pink-haired kunoichi as he practically dragged her along.

Finally, he sighed impatiently. "Luna, you're not going fast enough!" He picked her up by the waist and slung her over his shoulder, carrying her Sack-Of-Potatoes-Style.

"IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?" She shrieked.

"A MAN'S LIFE IS AT STAKE, LUNA! IT'S NECESSARY!"

She saw Sakura smiling at them, and gave her a "What Can I Say?" kind of look as other villagers pointed at the spazzy Naruto hauling his "girlfriend" across Konoha.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"WHICH ROOM IS IRUKA IN?" Naruto asked no one in general. Everyone in the waiting room (Luna included) clapped their hands over their ears, and a nurse pointed to a hallway.

"Room 1408," she said with a glare at the two.

Naruto groaned as he went down the hallway. "Dammit, he even has a cursed hospital room! Great, he's dead, I KNEW it!"

Luna sighed and rolled her eyes. "Naruto, I assure you, he's not dead. Now, can you put me down?"

"As soon as we get to the room."

She sighed impatiently and attempted to wriggle out of his grip. Five head-bonks and a little scratching later, she fell to the ground with an echoing _**THUD.**_

Luna glared up at him before standing and rubbing her middle absently. "Great. All your damn spinning has officially made me nauseous. Way to go, Naruto!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I assure you, you won't die," he replied with a smirk before opening the door to Iruka's room.

* * *

Luna bit back a gasp; he was much older now, but that was most definitely the little boy from her visions.

Iruka grinned at Naruto. "I figured you were here. I heard yelling and a thud right outside, so you were the only one it could've been."

"Actually, the thud was _her_," Naruto replied, pointing at Luna.

He studied her much like she had been studying him. "Who's this?"

"Oh, Luna. My girlfriend," he informed him smugly. The two guys pounded fists, but Iruka continued staring at her as she and Naruto sat in a couple of randomly-placed chairs.

"So what happened?"

"Mission gone bad. Long story short, I fell down a rocky hill," Iruka explained.

Now his staring was starting to make her uneasy.

"I _know _I've seen you before," Iruka finally said, pointing to Luna. Naruto sweatdropped, realizing he had basically been talking to himself since neither Luna nor Iruka even knew he had been speaking in the first place.

"I don't live in Konoha."

"But I've seen you. I know I have."

"Maybe you've mistaken me for someone else. Like Kira?"

Naruto watched them go back and forth like it were a ping-pong match, and Iruka's eyes widened a fraction at the name.

"Of course. You're her!"

"Me? Kira? No, I'm Luna."

"No no no, I know that. You're her daughter!" He exclaimed, pointing at her.

* * *

Naruto's eyes widened this time; Luna was too shocked to speak, and just stared at his index finger.

"I...That's not possible."

"How come? You don't even know your parents, remember?" Naruto interjected. It took all her self-control not to stomp on his foot, and she stayed silent.

Iruka nodded slowly, a grin forming on his face. "How come I didn't see it before? You're the spitting image of her! Well, except for your eyes. You have your dad's eyes."

Naruto seemed more excited than Luna was. "Where are they now, Iruka-Sensei?" He asked, practically bouncing in his seat.

Iruka's face fell, and Luna sighed. "Thought so. They're dead, aren't they?"

* * *

"When the Nine-Tailed Fox invaded Konoha, many ninja were killed in battle. It was assumed your dad, Mitsuru, was one of them."

"Assumed?"

"A lot of people are still missing _today_, and some bodies couldn't be identified," Iruka explained quietly.

A shudder passed through all three occupants of the hospital room.

"What about Kira?" Luna and Naruto asked in unison, exchanging a glance before turning back to Iruka.

He shook his head sadly. "No one knows. She disappeared when you were seven. I still can't believe I didn't recognize you.."

There was a long silence, and then Naruto rifled through his jacket pocket.

"Oh, right. Luna, you let me almost forget! Iruka?"

"Yes, Naru-" He trailed off with a "Doo-Oh!" kind of noise as Naruto swung the tampon to and fro by the string, which was now frayed and splitting off in random places like a poorly-made braid.

"How come I never get any of these for my birthday?"

* * *

**Bwahahahaha! I dunno how the hell Iruka's gonna handle this one...They should seriously teach Sex Ed at the Ninja Academy!**

**ANYWAY. Reviews please!**

**Reviews=YAY, MORE CRACK!**

**:)**


	10. AN: CROSSOVER?

**Okay, so i just had a stroke of genius.**

**WHAT IF...I made a crossover between Naruto and Fatal Frame 3: The Tormented?**

**I mean, c'mon...with Luna and Naruto...and maybe a Uchiha? Invading the house of Rei Kurosawa?...Dude, that's gonna be _interesting _XD**

**BUT...I also have a couple other fics that would make a good crossover with Fatal Frame 3. So, im opening up a poll on my profile. It'll last HOPEFULLY until later tonight or tomorrow, because i won't have any internet for a week as of this Friday and it'll be the perfect time to start on it.**

**Soooo...HURRY UP AND VOTE!**

**Oh, and for those who have no idea what the _hell _Fatal Frame 3 is, it's a really creepy and cool game that involves a Camera Obscura, ghosts, and a really painful tattoo. i would recommend googling it, and clicking on the link that belongs to an awesome site along the lines of Through the Camera's Lens, i cant remember if that's it exactly, but it's got buttloads of info on it.**

**If you wanna see a really hilarious walkthrough of the Fatal Frame 3 game, check out pyschadelicsnake's channel and search through his vids. he's hilarious! he screams higher than me XD**

**GET VOTING! AND YES I WILL UPDATE SOON EITHER WAY! **

**that is all. as you were, FanFiction users! :P**


	11. Poll Prob Now Fixed! Sorry!

**Okay, WOW, just realized i never put the poll on my profile.**

**FIXED IT!**

**okay, NOW go vote! **


	12. This Isn't My Normal Dream

**Poll results! This fic won by ONE VOTE. Cut it kinda close; my Bleach fic came in 2nd.**

**ANYWAY. This picks up where the last chap left off, but also introduces the crossover. **

**Should i just put the crossover in THIS fic, or should i make it a new fic entirely?**

**I'm not sure.**

**Whaddaya you think?**

**Well anyway, ENJOY. :)**

* * *

Luna bit back a laugh at the stricken expression on Iruka's face as she slowly edged towards the door.

"Um...I think I'll let _you_ explain it, Iruka. From a fellow dude's point of view."

"But-"

"Good luck!" She threw over her shoulder quickly before bolting out the door.

Luna lingered in the hallway long enough to hear Iruka let out a long sigh before clearing his throat nervously. "Well, you see, Naruto...When a girl reaches a certain age.."

She had to get going before she collapsed with giggles.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FORTY-FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

After practically beating it out of the drunken Hokage ("It was Shizune's birthday!" was her excuse _this_ time as to how she got so wasted), Luna finally found the location of Kira's mother's house.

_Her _grandmother's house.

_Grandmother_. Actually calling someone that was an entirely new concept to her; practically foreign.

Luna knocked several times, but there was no answer. Finally, she sighed and just shot the lock, beyond impatient at this point. Hungry for more information about herself.

"...Hello?"

The house was in utter disrepair. Books were scattered all over the floor, junk was overflowing out of the spare closet, and as for the sink...Well, even _Naruto_ would've cringed at it.

She could've _sworn_ a few of the dishes moved.

Luna was fiddling with a random knicknack when some woman in a ratty and worn nightgown came shuffling in.

If she hadn't been able to sense chakra, Luna would've been toast. She just barely dodged a high-powered ball of energy.

"Who are you, and what the hell are you doing in my house?"

"Ma'am, I mean you no harm. I'm Luna...Kira's daughter?"

The woman slowly lowered her hand, staring. Luna shivered; it was as if she could see right through her to her soul.

"Humph. You _do_ look like her. Are you just as much of a pain in the ass?"

"Excuse me?"

"She disappeared years ago. You know that, right?"

"Yes, I do. Do you know what happened to her?"

"Nope. Don't wanna know."

Luna cocked her head with interest. "Forgive me, but I'm confused. She's your daughter."

Her grandmother whipped out a pipe and lit it with a match. How she found it amidst all the junk was beyond Luna.

"What's your point?"

"Well...Mothers and daughters are supposed to love each other, and take care of one another whenever they're needed," Luna explained slowly.

The woman nearly choked on her pipe, she laughed so hard. "That's a good one. You're funny, kid."

"But...I wasn't joking. That's what parenting's all about."

"And how would you know? Do you have a kid? Huh?"

Luna flushed. Normally she was immune to people like this, who kept making her second-guess what she was taught, but this woman...well, quite frankly scared her a little.

Her eyes were a flashing hazel, a striking contrast to her pale and wrinkled skin. Unlike Luna and Kira, her hair was a mess of blond poof flying out from her face.

She probably looked pretty at one time, but age didn't do her grandmother much good.

And that shriveled nightgown...Well, let's just say if Luna had seen her running towards her at night, she would've beat her with a pipe before she got mugged. _If that's how I'm gonna look when I get old...I might have to kill myself._

"No. I don't."

"Well then, hush your mouth. When you have kids of your own you can come tell me the right and wrong methods of parenting. Now, what the hell are you doing here?"

* * *

"I was wondering what you could tell me about my family. Your family."

She stared at Luna for a long time, making smoke signals with her pipe. It took all her 15 years of interrogation training not to squirm under the old lady's hard gaze.

Finally, she spoke. "Luna, is it?" She nodded eagerly.

"Some things...Some things are better left unknown. Some things are meant to stay in the dark."

"Could you at least tell me...What happened to me after my mom disappeared?"

She stared at her some more while taking a few drags off the pipe, then finally nodded slowly. "I suppose you deserve that much. Master Jiraiya and I took you somewhere, he never told me where we went. I believe some other village. It was a _strange_ village, with lots of odd buildings and devices of which I myself have never seen. There was a nice-looking family waiting. A woman, man, and little boy, a little older than yourself."

Luna waited anxiously for her to continue, rapt with attention, but the woman got up instead. "I believe that's all you need to know. As they say, the rest is history."

"But...Please...I don't remember-" Luna cut herself off with a yell of surprise as her grandmother threw something at her. It was a necklace; a pale sphere with lighter-colored cloud designs all over it. It hung from a simple copper cord.

She nodded at the necklace, then at Luna. "That was your mother's. Family heirloom. I dunno if you're the _exact_ _same_, but in Kira's case...the necklace did odd things. Mystical things. She _always_ knew when things were about to go wrong.."

And with that, she shuffled towards the back of the house.

"Wait!"

Silence.

Luna sighed and glanced at the necklace before leaving, slipping it around her neck carefully.

* * *

"Luna, I am so so _so_ sorry you're a girl!" Naruto practically shouted at her as soon as she returned to the hospital.

She sweatdropped, and Iruka just laughed nervously as Naruto dragged her out. "Is it your time of the month right _now_? Does your stomach hurt? Should I leave you alone for a few days? You're not gonna kill me, are you? Oh, here, you can have this back."

He handed her the worn tampon, and Luna nearly gagged before throwing it behind her. It landed in some crazy old woman's lap, and she kept saying, "I remember when _I_ needed these!" over and over as she was wheeled away.

Luna's temple throbbed as Naruto continued to bombard her with questions. "NARUTO!" He stopped mid-sentence and eyed her warily. "Oh. Crap. It IS your time of the month!"

She huffed. "No, it's not, actually. But I would _love_ _it_ if you would stop asking me questions involving my period. Please. Or anything that has to do with puberty in general. You _do_ know what puberty is, don't you?"

He waved her off. "Duh. What do you take me for, a moron?"

Luna sweatdropped and opened her mouth to say something, but just shook her head. "It's too easy, I'm just gonna leave that one alone for now."

_**

* * *

**_

_**NINETEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Naruto randomly pointed towards her chest. "Whoa, where'd that come from?" He asked with interest.

Luna sweatdropped. "I thought you said you knew about puberty?"

He sweatdropped as well. "Um, I was talking about your necklace."

She turned about five shades of red and swatted his hand away as he snickered. "O-Oh. Psh, I knew that! Chyeah. And...It's just a necklace," she said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I _noticed _it was 'just a necklace'. But where'd you get it?"

"Nowhere."

"So what, it just randomly showed up?"

"Yup."

"_Pleeease _tell me?"

"No."

"I'll tell you word-for-word what Iruka said about periods if you don't. And trust me, it was _interesting_," he warned.

Luna held up her hands in surrender as he opened the door. "Okay, okay, fine! My grandmother. Apparently I have one. It was my mom's, according to her."

His eyes widened with excitement. "What's she like? Your granny."

She laughed nervously. "Well...Quite frankly, she scares the crap out of me."

He sweatdropped. "You just can't catch a break, can you?"

* * *

As if on cue, her phone rang, vibrating against the kitchen counter and making them both jump.

Luna peered down at it, then jumped back as if she were burnt. "Damn, it's him again."

Naruto rolled his eyes and flipped the phone over so she couldn't see the ID. That wasn't good enough for her, so she threw it against the fridge. It stopped ringing, and she grinned at the cell phone smugly. "HA! Luna- 28, Technology-1."

"One?"

"Yeah, the first time he called, remember?"

"Oh, right, right. Well, that doesn't count."

"It does to me."

"Whatever, Luna."

_

* * *

_

_This wasn't her usual dream. Luna was standing at the entrance of an old manor, and it was snowing. _

_Was that...tombstones to her right? And some kind of song on the wind? Creepy children voices were singing it, from what she could gather. _

_She shuddered and continued looking around. Her eyes landed on a door, and she gulped._

_Somehow she knew that as soon as she went through that door, she would never be the same. _

_And not in a good sense. Not at all._

_Luna shook her head quickly. "Dammit, I'm an Agent! I'm the sheer embodiment of KICK-ASS. I can DO this!" She muttered determinedly as she yanked open the giant double-doors._

_Her courage quickly faded as she took in the creepiness of the place. She had barely taken two steps when she heard ragged breathing and the figure of a man appeared in the room right in front of her. _

_Luna bit back a gasp as she realized the figure was...transparent._

_A ghost? Impossible._

_Then again, she pretty much made her living off of the impossible. _

_Of course, she thought of all this WHILE she was running like an idiot around the room, sighing in relief when she was undetected by the ghost._

_She turned into another room with a couple large kimonos on the left wall, and not much else. Although there WAS a shiny object on a narrow table. _

_Luna carefully picked up the object, and realized it was film. Type 14. For a...camera? "Well, what the hell am I supposed to do with THIS?" She wondered out loud._

_It was then she noticed the doll._

_

* * *

_

_Out of all the things in her "profession" that should scare her, the only thing she was truly afraid of was, in fact...dolls._

_She stared at this one in horror as it slowly turned its head upwards to look at her. Luna then ran out of the room and into a different hallway than the one she came from. "Screw that, no creepy dolls for me, thanks!"_

_She stopped mid-sprint as she felt her whole body throb. There was a spirit nearby. She felt the same thing when the heavy-breathing-guy had appeared._

_Luna shook her head quickly and continued walking at a brisk pace. "Nope, nope, I don't wanna know, I do NOT wanna know!" _

_Everything was going fine until she passed by a mirror. She practically flew past it, scared to death some kind of Grudge Girl was going to pop out at her from it._

_But instead she saw a blue woman walking in the opposite direction in the other hallway, which was visible through grid-like bars to her right. _

"_I don't want to see...any more..." She said in a sad whisper before she disappeared. _

_"That makes two of us," Luna muttered to herself. She felt strong pressure from the ghost, and shuddered before walking again._

_As if that blue woman hadn't been enough, a man with a sword came out of the walls, lunging for her. _

_Luna knew she was no match against the dead, and ran for the nearest door. Flinging it open, she saw a familiar lady on the other side._

_She smiled at her, which just made Luna more confused. "Luna. It's been a long time."_

_Everything went white before she could even process what just happened, and suddenly she was laying on a wooden floor._

_

* * *

_

_Her whole body felt heavy. Luna looked down to see herself dressed in a white kimono, and four girls were positioned at each of her hands and feet. _

_They were holding... "Oh my God." _

_Stakes and mallets._

_They seemed happy, and as each stake came in contact with her skin, a strange pattern appeared and ran up her body._

_It would make a cool tattoo if it weren't so cold and painful all at once._

_The four girls held the stakes with steady hands, raising their mallets. Luna squeezed her eyes shut, braced for the stakes' impacts, but none came._

* * *

"Luna! Luna, it's okay, you're okay."

For the first time in her life, she had woken up from a nightmare screaming and with a cold sweat. The thunks of the mallets were still ringing in her ears, as if they had actually impaled her.

She realized she was shaking a little. No wonder Naruto looked freaked out. She had _never_ looked scared at this degree before, not even when Alex first called. "What the hell kind of dream were you _having_?"

Luna checked her hands and feet; normal. Intact. Not impaled. No tattoo. She then slowly looked up at Naruto, genuine worry in her eyes.

That "dream" was way too real. The _pain _was way too real. Her head was still throbbing from all the spiritual pressure.

"What did you say?"

"I _said_, 'What the hell kind of dream were you having?'"

Luna couldn't help but laugh in a tone that suggested it was anything BUT funny.

"_That_, Naruto, is a very good question."


	13. Crossover Now Posted!

**Well, like the title says, the crossover's now posted!**

**It's in the Fatal Frame section, under Naruto crossovers (obviously).**

**I think there's only one other one in that section, which is on hiatus by my friend Red XD**

**But MINE is titled "I Never Thought My Life Would Depend On A CAMERA".**

**...We all know I'm not exactly a wiz when it comes to title-making. Feel free to suggest a less-crappy title while you're reviewing the crossover XD**

**..Oh, and for those who already started reading the crossover and got all excited when you saw i updated this fic, i apologize.**

**My friend was being retarded and accidentally deleted the announcement of the crossover while trying to read it over my shoulder.**

**Don't ask HOW the hell she managed to do that -_-'**

**So yeah, blame HER! XD**

**Well, happy reading! The crossover's almost done, and then I'll be updating this! ACTUALLY updating! YAY! **

**Now go make the author happy and R & R her crossover XD**


	14. Like A Virgin!

**BACK! Ah, the first official chapp after the Fatal Frame 3: The Tormented Filler!**

**SO EXCITED!**

**Hopefully this is funny enough, I'm so tired right now that a waffle makes me laugh so hard i nearly cry. No joke. It happened at McDonald's about an hour ago. XD**

**CAN'T BE A GOOD SIGN! But miss a day at my high school, and you've just committed suicide. Suicide weapon of choice? MAKE-UP WORK.**

**So yeah. Some - coughcough REVIEWS coughcough - would make it a little better! :)**

**So read, enjoy, REVIEW!**

* * *

"I can't believe we got past that temporary house of theirs unnoticed. I figured Tara'd have the whole place rigged with security cameras and crap," Naruto commented from down in the bottom of the well.

Luna was leaning against the edge of it, waiting "patiently" (here meaning tapping her foot at a manic pace and looking around anxiously as if she were about to be jumped any second) for him to hurry up.

"She probably does. Considering we left in the middle of the night, she's probably off doing whatever it is higher-up Agents do at this ungodly hour," Luna muttered.

"I hate it when you use big words," He commented from right beside her, making her jump at least a foot off the ground with a shrill squeak of a scream.

"It makes me feel like an idiot since I have to actually THINK about what you said," He continued in a whiny tone.

Her temple throbbed. "Did you ever think that you might feel like an idiot because you ARE one?"

"But if I thought like that, we'd BOTH be wrong," He replied, strolling ahead of her all smug-like.

"...Ugh, not worth the effort," Luna decided, trudging after him. She was exhausted. She usually didn't tire out so easily, but she figured that it would be a little while longer before she was back to her body's normal limits after depleting so much energy so rapidly that last night in the Manor.

Naruto looked just SO amused at how tired and annoyed she was. "Luna Sasaki giving up on an argument? Jeez, hope she's not terminally ill."

"Luna hates it when people talk as if she's not there. Luna sure hopes Naruto doesn't mind having some bullet holes in a few vital organs if he keeps it up," She replied ominously. Of course, the serious tone was kind of ruined since she yawned rather loudly and un-lady-like in the middle of her statement.

He just rolled his eyes. "Just hurry up, would ya? My ramen stash and my bed are SCREAMING my name."

"Ahhh, that sounds so GOOD! Can you fix me some?" She pleaded.

Naruto tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm...I DUNNO, you _did _threaten to shoot meet just now- OW!" He shouted as she stomped on his foot.

"FIX ME RAMEN, DAMMIT! I NEARLY KILLED MYSELF TRYING TO SAVE YOU, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS FIX ME SOME FOOD!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

_She was running. She didn't know where she was running to, she was just running. Suddenly, an iPod appeared in her hand. "Animal" by Neon Trees was playing._

"_I didn't even know I had that song," Luna muttered doubtfully. Suddenly, she came across a giant, forty-seven-story tall McDonald's cup._

_And at the top, swirling up above the rim gloriously, was chocolate. No WAY. It was a...a... "CHOCOLATE SHAKEMILK!" Luna exclaimed, setting off in a full sprint to climb up the cup._

_Suddenly, climbing gear appeared at the base of the cup, and she put it on happily. She had just started climbing when Miku and Kayako appeared in similar climbing gear._

"_THAT'S OUR MILKSHAKE!" They exclaimed, climbing after her._

"_MINE!" Luna shouted over her shoulder, climbing like crazy. Her fingers had just gripped the top when Ruri appeared, unsheathing her claws ominously. _

"_FOR MIKUUUU!" Ruri exclaimed with some kind of tribal war-call noise, and just as the cat's claws were about to swipe Luna, Naruto suddenly appeared and grabbed her._

"_GAH!" Luna exclaimed, having looked down and decided being in Naruto's grip probably wasn't the safest position at the moment._

"_Have some faith, jeez!" He grumbled before setting her down at the base of the giant shakemilk cup._

_Miku and Kayako wailed before falling and disappearing and **POOF**'s of individual smoke. Naruto grinned at her expectantly. "Weeelll? I'm waiting."_

_Luna sighed. "Thank youuu," She muttered grudgingly. "I deserve more than a thank-you, woman, I saved you from falling to your death!"_

"_...Okay...DOUBLE thank you."_

"_How about a victory kiss."_

"_No."_

"_Please?"_

"_No."_

"_Okay. ...How about now?"_

"_NO!"_

_He sighed exasperatedly. "Aw, c'mon, you saved me back at the Manor for a reason, didn't ya?" Luna narrowed her eyes. "...Fiiiinnee...BUT ONLY ONE." After kissing him as quickly as possible, she stood on her tip-toes to guide her mouth to the tall straw...only to have Naruto point at it accusingly. "HEY, I deserve first sip!"_

_Being an idiot, his hand had accidentally whacked her, and she was suddenly falling to her death._

"_AAAAHHHHH!" She screeched. Naruto shrugged and reached the straw with ease due to his damn tallness._

"_More for me!" He exclaimed happily as she continued to plummet._

* * *

"AAAAAHHHH!" Luna shouted, shooting straight up. There was a huge _**THUD **_heard as Naruto jolted out of sleep and fell off the couch, which they had both fallen asleep on while watching TV.

It was like habit to sleep on couches after so many days at Rei's house.

Naruto sat up, rubbing his head tenderly. "Dammit, Loon, that hurt! What the hell kinda dream were you having?" He paled. "If you fricking say you had a dream about ghosts or some kind of place that involves Camera Obscuras, I'm shooting you, I swear to the holy cupcake jesus."

Luna sweatdropped, tilting her head to the side. "I have never heard of such a diety. This 'Cupcake Jesus'. Is he powerful?"

Naruto sweatdropped too, and he just shook his head. "THAT'S a question for another time. Anyway, answer my question!"

Luna paused. "What WAS my dream about? Uhhh..." After a few moments of her staring off into space thoughtfully and Naruto's sweatdrops steadily increasing by the minute, she finally remembered why her pulse was so high.

"YOU JERK, YOU PUSHED ME OFF THE TOP OF THE SHAKEMILK! YOU INCURABLE _MORON_!" She fumed, temple throbbing.

Naruto jumped. "WHAT THE HELL'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"DON'T YOU PLAY INNOCENT WITH ME! YOU WANTED A VICTORY KISS, I GAVE YOU ONE, I WENT TO DRINK MY SHAKEMILK, AND YOU FRICKING PUSHED ME OVER THE-"

"Shh."

She was flat-out shaking with fury at this point, glowering. "Did you just SHH me?"

"Yeah, shh."

"NARUTO UZUMAKI, YOU-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He hissed, his head tilted as if listening for something. Luna shut her mouth exaggeratedly, making him roll his eyes.

Then she heard it too. It was rustling. Coming from Naruto's room. They both grabbed weapons (Naruto grabbed his ever-present kunai and Luna grabbed a shoe) and crept towards his room.

Luna noticed that she couldn't keep herself in front of him, and after a few seconds, she realized it wasn't because she was tired. It was because he kept picking his pace up just enough to be in front of her every time she tried to do the same.

Her temple throbbed. "Naruto, it is my job to protect YOU, so would you please let me do that?"

"We're supposed to protect EACH OTHER. Besides, I'm not like Mr. Amakuuuuura, I'm not sending you in there first when it could be a crazed killer!" He hissed back. They started going back and forth until they reached his door.

Luna sighed and kicked him out of the way, making him crash into the bathroom door (the one that got its lock "stolen") while she flung his door open.

"FREEZE!" She barked out of habit. It was only Hinata. She cocked her head as Hinata started turning dangerously red.

"Jeez, Loon, that hurt worse than last night did!" Naruto grumbled as he trudged into Hinata's view.

"...What happened last night?"

"Whaddaya _mean _what happened last night, Loon? Don't ya remember, I pulled it out of my pants like five times and you never yelled at me? Well, I take that back, you groaned pretty loud after I laid it. And then we both passed out before we could play a fourth time?"

Luna nodded quickly. "Ohhh yeah! How could I forget THAT? That was the best we've ever had!"

Hinata promptly keeled over, and they both whipped their heads in her direction. Luna sweatdropped. "...Does recounting a game of Uno in which you cheated ALWAYS make her pass out?"

Naruto's temple throbbed. "You could've TOLD ME she was here!"

"You have eyes! When did it become _my _job to alert you to such things?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"GIMME ANOTHER ICEPACK, NARUTOOO!" Luna bellowed, taking the one already on Hinata's head into her hands.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, NO NEED TO YELL!"

"THEN WHY'RE _YOU _YELLING?"

"BECAUSE _YOU _ARE!"

"WELL STOP, YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!"

"FINE!"

"THAT'S STILL YELLING!"

"SHUT UP!"

Hinata suddenly groaned. "Unnhh...Wh-What happened?" "Naruto and I found you in his room and after we started talking about the game of Uno we played last night, and how he cheated yet again, you fainted for whatever reason..."

The raven-haired kunoichi flushed. "...Oh. I remember. THAT'S what you two were talking about?"

Luna's eyebrows shot up. "What did you THINK we were talking about?" Before Hinata could stammer out a reply, Naruto came in and handed Luna an icepack.

Hinata nearly passed out again. "N-Naruto, where's your _shirt_?"

He shrugged. "Around the ice?" Luna waved the makeshift icepack in her line of vision. "Ran out of towels."

She nodded quickly, and Luna handed it to her. Hinata pressed it to her forehead, and Naruto crossed his arms. "Sooo..._Why _were you in my room exactly?"

"And why did I see you sniffing an article of Naruto's clothing?" Luna added with honest curiosity.

Naruto stomped on her foot discreetly from behind the arm of the couch, which they were both standing behind, and she smacked him upside the head. "BASTARD, that hurt!"

"OW!"

Hinata blushed immensely at the mention of sniffing Naruto's clothing. "U-Uhh, I was just...wondering..."

"Wondering..." They prompted in unison.

"If the r-rumors were true," She managed to get out between clearing her throat anxiously and blinking fast to avoid their stares.

"...WHAT RUMORS?" They demanded, making her jump. Luna turned to glare at Naruto, elbowing him in the ribs. "OW!"

"YOU DON'T TALK TO A WOMAN LIKE THAT! HONESTLY, sometimes I wonder how the hell you got me to go on a date with you!"

"SORRY, JEEZ! ...Nice one," He muttered under his breath at how quickly she remembered that, to Konoha, they were a couple.

"I try."

Hinata was even REDDER now (if that was even possible). "W-Well, y'know...about Luna living here and...and _stuff_..."

They both turned red at the meaningful way she said "and _stuff_".

"NONE OF _THAT'S _GOING ON AROUND HERE!"

* * *

"YEAH! I just...um...see, my place, ummm...uhhh..."

"She has a huge roach problem at the moment!" Naruto explained. Hinata stared at them with a sweatdrop. "...Roaches. Those must be some big roaches."

"Bite your head off, man," Luna declared. Naruto rolled his eyes and shook his head at her Ghostbusters quote.

Even Luna the – according to Naruto and Ichigo – Socially Retarded Agent had seen _Ghostbusters_.

Hinata nodded slowly. "O-Oh. Okay. Well then, I guess I'll just...be...going..." Luna cocked her head. "Hey, wait. I would just like to say...I'm still a virgin, Hinata, I promise!"

Naruto jumped back spastically. "THE HELL?"

Hinata blushed. "That's...good to know..." Luna turned to glare at Naruto. "What're you crowing about over there?"

"Luna, you don't just SHOUT THAT OUT."

"Why not?"

"Because you DON'T, that's why!"

"Hey, my HONOR was at stake here! So I think I have earned the _right _to declare I am a virgin!"

"STOP SAYING THAT!"

"Oh, what, VIRGIN?"

"Yeah, that!"

"Still pure."

"Shut up."

"V-Card status: unswiped."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Jeez, Naruto, stop squealing...you sound like...such a VIRGIN!" Luna teased.

"LOON, YOU'RE SUCH A-"

"VIRGIN! VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIIIIRRRGGGIIIINNNN!"

"AND YOU WONDER _WHY _YOU'RE A VIRGIN!"

"NO, I KNOW _EXACTLY _WHY! BECAUSE WHY WOULD I LOSE MY VIRGINITY ANY TIME SOON AROUND _HERE_?"

"OH, YOU WENT THERE, HUH? SO YOU WANNA GO? YOU WANNA GO!"

"YEAH, LET'S DO THIS! YOU, ME, DEATHMATCH, _NOW_!"

It was then they noticed Hinata slowly edging towards the front door, and the blinked at her dumbly. "You're leaving?" Naruto asked in a whiny tone.

"Y-Yes."

"You sure you don't wanna stay?" Luna asked.

"I'm sure. This is _way_ too awkward and stupid," Hinata said bluntly before ducking her head and practically diving for the front door.

After the door shut, they looked at each other. "My throat's sore from all this yelling," Luna declared.

He sighed and trudged towards the kitchen. "I'll be nice and get you some water."

"How kind," She said innocently. After he brought her some, she downed the whole glass before setting it on the coffee table and making a mad dash for his room.

"What're you doing? LU-NAAAA!"

"THE BED IS _MINE_!"

"WHAT?"

"YA SNOOZE YA LOSE, SUCKER!"

"GAH! GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE BRATTY VIRGIN!"


	15. Fertility, Wiles, And Seals

**Weeeelll, I'm back. Feels good to update this again on a sorta-regular basis! XD**

**Thanks for the reviews, i missed updating this too. ALTHOUGH, we all gotta admit, the crossover was pretty epic. And thanks to that, it brings more opportunity for Naruto and Luna's hilarious fluff! So yay for Fatal Frame 3!**

**ANYWAY. Onward! Read, enjoy, review, and enjoy some more! :)**

* * *

Luna dove into his bed, hopping out of her jeans and tripping like a moron along the way, and Naruto's temple throbbed as the aforementioned jeans landed on his head.

"...Yep. You guessed it. That's EXACTLY what I wanted, THAT'S why I was following you!" He commented dully as he stomped after her, tossing her jeans behind him carelessly.

She was sitting up in his bed, and once he stomped in there, she drew the covers up to her chin and trembled dramatically.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Please, like I'm gonna buy _that _piece of crap! Terrified my ass."

"I WON THE BED FAIR AND SQUARE, I can't help it that I'm faster than you!" She declared. His temple throbbed, and he waved the pajamas he had just picked up in her face. "I was _just _getting my clothes, jeez!"

"Well, how was _I _supposed to know?" She grumbled, crossing her arms. "Common sense? Oh, wait, _that's _something you're sorely lacking. My mistake."

"I do _too _have common sense!"

"Oh, yeah. 'Cause anyone with common sense would crawl into a tunnel after hearing creepy singing about _impaling _people!"

"THAT WAS FOR THE GOOD OF THE DREAM SEQUENCE! I was the smallest, Naruto Uzumaki, it was the logical and common-sensical thing to do," She replied matter-of-factly.

He just glared at her for a second. "...If you had common sense, you wouldn't let yourself be so small and put yourself in that position, now, _would _ya?"

**_BAM!_**

"DAMMIT, LOON, THAT HURT! Only YOU could make a pillow lethal..."

"YOU CAN'T CONTROL HEIGHT AND WEIGHT, DUMBASS! ...Not _my _fault I was only given the bare necessities when it came to meals in the Agency," She grumbled, pouting to herself.

All those stupid-ass Saltine crackers they made her eat, and all the stupid fruit and veggies when she was on her period and all she wanted was some junk food and chocolate.

Junk food and chocolate used to be things that Will would sneak in for her, and now that she thought about it, he had gotten Alex into the habit of doing the same thing on a certain week every month.

Luna shuddered at the thought of her older brother keeping better track of her period than she could herself, and Naruto gave her a weird look.

"You alright over there?"

"What do _you _care? You've got your pajamas, so go away so I can sleep," She snapped. Just THINKING about the impending doom known as her next period made her ready to strangle whomever she first encountered with her bare hands.

Especially when it was Naruto who was the closest at the time.

He rolled his eyes. "By all means, get your damn sleep. I'm gonna be the one having to train a small, whiny brat with big stupid brown eyes and a violent streak, but AS LONG AS YOU'RE HAPPY."

Luna beamed innocently at him. "Hey, at least I'll be there to WATCH you have to train this small, whiny brat with big stupid brown eyes and a violent streak that you speak of."

* * *

Naruto's temple throbbed, and that was when she noticed his stomach. Of all the times she'd seen his stomach (which wasn't too often, but still), she'd never noticed that mark.

"Has that _always _been there?" She asked suddenly, making him stop on his way out of the room.

"Has WHAT always been there?" He asked in reply, spinning in a circle as he looked around frantically for something out of the ordinary.

Luna stood and walked over, planting a hand on his shoulder to keep him in one place. She pointed at his stomach slowly. "...That."

It was like a spiral, with odd designs that looked almost like writing poking out from around it in the form of a sort of fancy star.

It COULD be writing. But at the same time, it looked more like a fancy way to draw fire, which would make sense considering what was lurking in his stomach.

"Oh, that? That's always been there. Jeez, Loon, where the hell have _you _been?"

"Lots of places. Mainly cities in Maryland and near DC, though. Although now I guess I can add Japan, both in this world _and _a different one, and I can add Konoha. And that's about it," She replied slowly, staring at it.

Naruto sweatdropped. "I kinda meant...never mind." His sweatdrops increased as he watched her continue to stare at it, tilting her head to the side.

Finally, he waved a hand in front of her face. "I was born with it."

"What does it DO? That's no ordinary birthmark. Trust me, I spent two days being lectured about them when I was thirteen," Luna said a bit absently, reaching a finger out to poke it curiously.

"Keeps the Nine-Tails chakra under control and stuff," He said simply. Luna huffed. Sometimes she wished he wouldn't be so nonchalant and dumb things down. Dumbing them down made it harder for her to comprehend.

How could he view things in life, such as regulating the chakra of a demon, as minor?

She switched from poking it like a moron to TRACING it like a moron, trying to figure out why the symbol was so new yet so familiar at the same time.

Luna decided she probably had just noticed it previously and hadn't bothered to REALLY notice it until a few moments ago.

Yes.

Because any other explanation would be just WAY too cliché. Naruto shivered, and she drew her hand back quickly. "My apologies. I'm too tired to think straight."

He shrugged. "You weren't bothering me."

Luna's eyebrows shot up. "Your shiver was quite noticeable, Naruto. I may be drowsy and my mind may be groggy, but I can still see straight. Surprisingly."

He grinned. "Well YOU'RE the one talking all formal, so maybe I'm bothering YOU." Luna huffed defiantly. "You are doing no such thing!"

"Oh, so you tolerate me now? I knew you were warming up to me!"

"No, that's not what I-"

"You have to accept these feelings, Loon." She opened her mouth to shoot back something smart in reply, but then she got a terribly wonderful idea.

Luna eyed him warily. "...I do?"

"Yep. Otherwise, you'll explode from bottling them up too long," He replied matter-of-factly.

She inched even closer to him. "Oh, well in _that _case...Perhaps I should...do _just _that."

* * *

She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning at his expression.

"Y-Yeah, I totally agree."

She put her hand back on his stomach and let her pointer and middle fingers crawl up to his chest as if they were a pair of legs. "Just...act on impulse."

He gulped, and she smirked. "Impulse sounds good, impulse sounds _very _good," He replied quickly.

Luna leaned as close to his face as humanly possible before stepping back and slamming the door in his face. "IN YOUR DREAMS!"

"DAMMIT, LOON, THAT WAS JUST PLAIN CRUEL!"

She leaned against the door, rolling her eyes as he monologued. "Damn girls around here, always toying with dudes and their dudely needs. Who does she think she is? I bet the Agency didn't teach her THAT. V-Card my ass. …Huh. I dunno how the hell she got me outside my door, I don't even remember moving...!"

"THAT would be part of my feminine charms and wily ways," She replied to the door.

"HEY, stop listening in on my manly ramblings!" He demanded before stomping off. "Jeez, I don't see why she needs to sleep in a bed anyways. How uncomfortable could that window seat _be_?"

Luna opened the door, poking her head out. "How about this? If you promise to behave, you can sleep on the window seat and try it out for yourself! And if YOU can take it, then I'll sleep on it from now on. If not, I get the bed. Deal?"

He thought about it for a second, having stopped in the middle of the hallway with his back to her. When he turned around, he had that sneaky fox-like grin of his on his face.

"Deal."

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Luna woke up slowly, having enjoyed a dreamless night after that..._hellish _dream of that blasted giant shakemilk. "Milkshake, Luna, _milkshake_," She corrected out loud before stretching across the wide expanse known as Naruto's bed.

"Naruto, I believe it's time to get up," She announced with a yawn as she curled her toes and popped them.

That was one of her little "quirks," apparently; how she was the only one that could pop her toes, but when anyone else did it, she screamed bloody murder.

But dammit, it _hurt _when other people did it!

"I've been awake," Naruto said in the dullest and most depressed tone she'd ever heard in her life. While he was busy ranting about the window seat, she got dressed without a care in the world.

"It's all hard. And lumpy. So hard and lumpy, Loon, SO HARD AND LUMPY! I could totally point out that that was the best 'That's What She Said' ever, but I can't because I'm too depressed! How do you ever sleep on this thing? I literally stayed up all night! I heard the WEIRDEST things, you know that? Not to mention every time Alex Douche called, I had to press 'Ignore' like you told me to, so finally I just broke your phone-"

"YOU DID WHAT?" She screeched while clasping her bra, sliding the straps up her shoulders angrily. Naruto turned his face to the right so he could beam innocently at her, and then he pouted, not even bothered by her lack of clothes.

"...NO FAIR, you didn't tell me you were naked just now!" ...Okay, so technically he WAS bothered. Just for extra-perverted reasons.

"Why _would _I?"

"I dunno. Maybe because you had a dream or two about me last night?"

Luna gave him a weird look after slipping a shirt on over her head, making her hair even more mussed-up and...Bedhead-y, as Becs liked to put it.

"I don't RECALL a dream about you, much less multiple dreams."

He grinned. "You sure did mention my name a lot." Luna rolled her eyes and simply left, throwing one of his dirty socks at him as she left.

"Ow! Low blow, hitting a man with his own sock!"

"Suck it up, Mr. Man!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**HALF ****AN HOUR LATER...**_

Sakura and Kakashi were facing off when they got there. Naruto and Luna were hoping to watch them beat each other to a pulp, but sadly, Sakura noticed them almost immediately.

With a gasp of delight, she ran right over to them, glomping Luna to death. "WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

Naruto's temple throbbed. "No, really, Sakura. No need to shower me with the same amount of attention or anything, _really_."

"Good," She said cheerfully. She then cocked an eyebrow. "Wow, you're awfully beat up for a mission to grab a _fertility scroll_."

"Fertility scroll?" Kakashi wondered. He and Yamato exchanged a look. Yamato made a weird motion with his hands. "Slow swimmers or something, Naruto?"

He turned bright red, while Luna looked at Sakura questioningly. She whispered something into Luna's ear that made her turn red, too.

"LIKE HELL I SHALL LET THAT MORON IMPREGNATE ME!"


	16. The Only Exception

**Back! Thanks for the reviews, glad you liked it!**

**Again, it's good to be updating this again, and im glad ya'll are just as happy about it :D**

**So read, review, and enjoy! **

* * *

Naruto's temple throbbed. "OH, I'm the moron? I'M THE MORON?"

"Yes," Luna replied at the same time the rest of Squad Seven did, making him droop. "Lu-naaaa, that's so mean!"

She rolled her eyes, and Kakashi continued to look puzzled. "Why would you go after a _fertility scroll_? Naruto, I hardly think children should be your biggest priority at the moment."

Sakura blinked at him. "Didn't _you_ assign the mission to them?"

"Mission? What mission?"

Luna and Naruto exchanged an "Oh CRAP" look. "Y-Yeah, remember that MISSION, Kakashi-Sensei? The one you...SENT US ON...REMEMBER THAT MISSION?" Naruto said quickly, trying to get him to agree.

Luna rolled her eyes again as Yamato and Kakashi exchanged a look of pure perverted-slash-giddiness before nodding slyly.

"Ohhhhh, WE GETCHYA! ...Yes, an um...mission. That we sent 'em on. Yesh, a mission."

"Yesh?" Luna and Sasuke asked with a sweatdrop.

"It's an expert way of saying 'yes'. Perhaps I'll teach you sometime," Kakashi explained mysteriously.

"Yesh," Luna and Sakura repeated triumphantly, making Kakashi droop. "YOU CHEATED!" Naruto nodded. "She does that a lot. ESPECIALLY in Uno."

She sighed and shook her head. "Just because you're a sore loser doesn't mean that I _cheated_!"

"BUT YOU _DID_!"

Luna just planted her hands on her hips and stared sharply at him, and he laughed nervously. "Umm...I was just..._kidding_! Yeah, kidding."

"Narutoooo's in the dooooog-hooouuuse, Narutoooo's in the _dooooog_-hooouuuse!" Kakashi started humming to himself as Luna and Naruto went off to where they usually trained, and she sighed and shook her head again.

_Sometimes, Kakashi's more like Naruto than NARUTO is..._

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Naruto, can I PLEASE do something more...what's the word I'm looking for...OH! Relevant and exciting?" Luna practically begged.

"NOPE."

"Argh!" She exclaimed as she continued to sit on her ass and split stupid leaves as he continued to stretch out in a folding chair leisurely and drink his stupid lemonade.

The lemonade had been courtesy of Sakura, who said it was from Hinata. As to the folding chair, she had no fricking idea how the hell he landed one of THOSE babies. Luna pouted at him after splitting another leaf. "I fail to see what this has to do with ANYTHING along the lines of chakra or ninja techniques."

"Well, I'M training you, so you _do_ it. When I say 'Jump,' you say 'How high,'" He replied as if they had been over this at least a million times in a mere two hours. Which they hadn't; only 23 times, to be exact.

Luna huffed. "I think that conversation would actually go something like: 'Luna, jump!' 'Why, Naruto?' 'Because I said so!' BANG, BANG! Krrk, AAAHHH! EEE-OHHH EEE-OOHH!" She informed him, imitating his voice in a rather posh and girly manner.

Naruto's temple throbbed. "...The ambulance at the end was a nice touch."

"Thanks."

He then whipped out a kunai, summoned chakra, and threw it at a tree. His blue chakra surrounded the throwing knife as it flew straight through the tree trunk, splitting it and causing the stupid fat tree to fall right on her pile of split leaves (which wasn't exactly small, thanks very much).

Naruto smirked at the look of pure murder etched all over her face. "If you wanna do THAT, you have to start HERE. Oh, and now you haveta start over. ...And stop giving me that look, it's not a look one should give their wise, awesome, downright sexy superior," He added smugly as she glared at him even more intensely at the prospect of splitting more STUPID LEAVES.

Luna wordlessly stood, threw her kunai at the tree opposite her, and split it right through the middle.

Naruto dodged it at the last second, which was more than a little disappointing. She smirked at him. "Sooo, when's this sexy superior getting here? It'd be nice to have a distraction."

* * *

"Ahhh, kiss my ass!" He grumbled.

"No thank you. I think I shall go eat something instead," She replied cheerfully. Naruto plopped down on the tree trunk she had just made, sitting down Indian-style and crossing his arms defiantly.

"You're paying for it yourself."

"That's perfectly fine."

"Because I'm not coming."

"Suit yourself."

"You'll have to go without me, because I'm staying right here."

"That's...generally what 'I'm not coming' means in most cases. That's splendid."

He drooped. "You don't have the right _currency _for Konoha!" She turned to face him, waving him off. "Baaahh, I'm sure I can 'borrow' some if I need to."

Luna turned back away from him and continued walking, smirking to herself. _Three...two...one-_

"HEY, WAIT UP!"

Her smirk grew even more, and he glared at her out of the corner of his eye once he finally caught up. "I'm only coming because I don't wantchya shooting anyone."

"Of course, Naruto. What other reason would you have?"

"Exactly."

"Uh-huh."

"Don't say it like that!"

"Like what?"

"All...smug-like."

"Oh, I'm not smug. I'm simply happy that my 'sexy superior' will be accompanying me," She replied.

He grinned to himself, but it was gone almost immediately once she held up a finger and added oh-so-innocently, "Who's willing to pay for WHATEVER I want from Ichiraku's."

"...DAMMIT, LOON!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"But why would anyone eat cereal with milk? Then it'd get all moldy!"

"Luna, it doesn't get moldy. It just gets a little...squishy."

"Squishy, moldy, it's all the same."

"No they aren't, not even remotely."

"Says who?"

"Says your sexy superior."

"Hmm, I really wish I could meet him. He sounds like a dreamboat."

"Who the hell says _dreamboat _anymore?" Naruto asked with a sweatdrop, the insult going right over his head.

Luna's temple throbbed. "Are you insinuating there is something wrong with the terminology I use?"

"...Well...Considering I just now understood all of what you just said, then yeah, probably."

She just breathed in and out rather deeply as her temple throbbed, and shook her head. "Whatever. The point is, cereal and milk just don't belong together."

"Yeah they do!"

"No they DON'T!"

"Ahhhh, hear that Ayame? It's the wonderful sound of our favorite couple and their usual stupid arguments!" Teuchi exclaimed happily as they walked in.

Ayame, his daughter, poked her head out from the kitchen to smile at them. "Ah, I should've known he meant you two!"

"Who else would he be talking about? Psshh, like we have any competition in the Epic Couple Department," Naruto said smugly as he slid onto the stool beside the one Luna had plopped onto, making Ayame grin and shake her head.

"Does that actually exist?" Luna asked in a whisper, leaning towards him. Naruto sweatdropped. "...No."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Someone should invent that. It would be interesting. I imagine it would have the equivalent of this 'prom queen and king' thing Becs tells me about. Like the kind you always see in low-budget teen horror movies?"

"Never heard of it."

"From what I can gather, it's where this really hot blonde girl with a chest that's either abnormally developed or underdeveloped is called onto the stage, and they give her a tiara. And then the king is usually very...bulky. And he gets a king's crown. And then they dance to some random song, which is usually slow. And then one of two things happen."

"What things?" He asked, totally absorbed.

"WELL, either they kiss and the credits roll or something like that...or someone comes out screaming, and they all get massacred. THAT, or the girl turns out to have telekinetic powers, so when they pour pig's blood on her, she kills them all."

His eyes were the size of saucers. Very blue saucers. "Whoa...wait, pig's blood? Where the hell does that come into play?"

"From what Will explained to me, because I only saw the last half-hour of it, she was this girl who was a complete outcast. Her mother was a religious freak who never told her about periods-"

"I know the feeling," Naruto grumbled, making Luna's temple throb.

"...ANYWAY. So then she has one, freaks out since she doesn't know what's happening to her, and the girls that were present in the locker room ridicule her for it. That's then her telekinetic powers develop, allowing her to move things with her mind."

"I know what telekinesis is, I'm not THAT stupid."

"WILL YOU LET ME TELL THE STORY? ...Thanks. Anyway, AS I WAS SAYING, this jock guy genuinely likes her and asks her to prom. She at first refuses, but eventually gives in. So then they go, dance, kiss, have a good time...and then she's nominated as prom queen. See, these bullies – who're played by John Travolta and a couple other people I can't think of right now – rigged the ballots so she'd win. And when she got crowned and was up there grinning, they poured pig's blood all over her as a cruel joke."

Naruto shook his head slowly. "Wow...Shizune would NOT like hearing about this movie. Poor pig. What was the girl's name? The one that went postal?"

"Carrie, I think."

"Oh. I never did like that name," He declared. Luna sweatdropped. "...Where did you even HEAR that name?"

"When you told me just now. But I still never did like it."

"Because you didn't know such a name EXISTED."

"But I still didn't like it! How could I like something when, to me, it didn't exist? HUH?"

"Because...um...JUST EAT YOUR RAMEN," She said quickly before realizing Teuchi and Ayame had been watching them this whole time.

"...You never did tell us what you two wanted."

They turned red. "...Oh..."

"The usual?" Ayame offered with a hint of a laugh.

"The usual," They repeated in unison with a nod – also in unison. Luna couldn't help but sigh inwardly.

They were getting WAY too in-sync. It couldn't possibly lead to anything good on down the road. Naruto suddenly seemed to have an idea. "Hey, Ayame! Do cereal and milk belong together?" She nodded while Teuchi fixed their ramen in record time. "Almost as much as you and Luna do!" She replied with a laugh as they both got excited over their ramen and started inhaling it like starved people.

She felt herself get all prickly, and forced down the blush rising in her cheeks. They had probably seen her necklace flash for a split second though. _Jeez, Luna, you're letting yourself get way too comfortable and soft around here...and around...certain people..._

What would she do when her assignment was over? Ever since Ichigo had suggested she were a robot, she had sometimes thought of herself in that light concerning emotions.

It was really the only basis she had.

Besides Will and Becs, but their emotions were just WAY too off-the-walls for her.

The way she saw it, it seemed that Naruto had managed the impossible: he had changed her setting. She had been on default after that crap with Alex, but now she was on some other function entirely, and she had no idea what she was doing, but at the same time it felt...nice. Right. Comfortable.

How can one continue on that nice, right, and comfortable function after they've been separated from the thing that they set their tune to?

Hopefully she'd figure that one out by the time she had to leave, because when that happened, she'd be just that: separated from her tune-setter.

For the moment, she was left feeling ridiculous.

Her whole life (that she could easily remember, anyways) had been spent keeping herself away from all those troublesome things. Leave it to a new type of mission objective to throw her off-balance.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTY ****MINUTES LATER...**_

_No friendships outside of ones with your teammates in the Agency. Don't let yourself care for anything other than yourself, your teammates, or completing your mission objective. No exceptions._

_Never tell a single soul about your time in the Agency and/or how it operates. No exceptions._

_Never enter a relationship with, marry or have children with anyone the Agency hasn't reviewed and approved beforehand. No exceptions._

_Prolonged time outside the Agency without the proper clearance will lead to extreme measures of punishment. Incarceration or death acceptable as such punishments, depending on the severity. No exceptions._

_Resisting the authority of the Agency once you have been chosen to join it is not an option. Punishable by incarceration or death. No exceptions._

Luna had grown up with these laws, almost considered them sacred after the whole Alex Situation.

_But..._

"Naruto?"

"Huh?"

"Why must you be the only exception?" She blurted with a miserable sigh.

He gave her a weird look. "Exception for what?" Luna flushed and shook her head. "Nothing, just...um...nevermind. Nevermind. Yeah."

Naruto grinned. "Oh, I see. My sexy superiority's distracting you!"

_**BAM!**_

Luna had never been so happy while punching him. Thank goodness - ...no...the Holy Cupcake Jesus - for him and his idiotic distractions.

Her grin must've satisfied him in some way, because he didn't even shout "OW!" or whine about her punching him yet again. They were heading towards the training ground, where they assumed everyone else was, when Luna was jerked to the right.

"S-Sakura, you scared the crap outta me!" Luna exclaimed as the kunoichi continued to drag her along. Sasuke was dragging Naruto as well. "C'mon, you two. We're not suffering through this on our own!"

"Suffering through WHAT?" Luna and Naruto asked somewhat-fearfully, exchanging a look at how determined and spastic the other two looked. Wasn't that THEIR expertise? It was kind of insulting to see two different people doing the same thing.

Sakura smiled innocently. "As Ino so eloquently put it, 'Enough training before you work yourself to death! It's time for some FUN!'. Therefore, we're making you suffer right along with us." Luna groaned miserably. "I'M SO CONFUSED!"

"Me. Sakura. Ino. Sai. You. Dobe. We're doing something, some unnamed something, but it can only lead to embarrassment and/or horror," Sasuke explained. Luna groaned for an entirely different reason this time.

"Crap, THANKS SASUKE, NOW I GET IT!" Sakura sweatdropped, and Naruto just glared at Sasuke as he was dragged along by the latter.

"Hey...wait a minute...I'M NOT A DOBE, DAMMIT!"


	17. The Tearjerker & Return of the Shakemilk

****

BAACK! Sorry i took so long, i was in Disney World. As you can imagine, i was just a tad bit distracted. XD

**Oddly enough, me and my best friend that came with us (the one who helped with the random ides from those two chapps in the Fatal Frame crossover that involved Luna's concussion and the Goldfish Meltdown) kept coming up with ideas for this fic pretty much the whole time! ...This chapp wasn't one of 'em, i was working on it before we left XD**

**BUT ANYWAY. Read, enjoy, REVIEW, and umm...enjoy some more! Yeah! :D**

**

* * *

**

"Pssst, Luna?"

"...WHAT, Naruto."

"SHH, WHISPER!"

Her temple throbbed. "...What, Naruto?" She whispered gently.

"Whaddaya think this Unnamed Something is?"

"Probably...Well...Naruto, I'm sorry to tell you that we're on our way to the most horrific, embarrassing, ridiculous pastime of teenage couples."

"What is it?" He asked in horror.

She shivered. "...Double dating. In our case...TRIPLE dating."

"EWWWW! WITH SAI AND INO?" He stage-whispered.

"Indeed."

"This must be some kind of sick, sick, SICK joke. ...Sai and INO?" He repeated.

Sakura and Sasuke's sweatdrops increased even more, and Sakura cleared her throat meaningfully. "Hence why we're dragging you. Now, if you two are done..."

"What exactly are we doing with them?" Luna asked slowly, as if asking "In what manner shall I be tortured and killed this evening?".

Sakura shrugged before walking again, resuming her dragging. "Dunno. It's up to Ino."

Even Sasuke shuddered at that one. "THAT...Is truly horrifying." Luna and Naruto nodded quickly, and Sakura rolled her eyes. "Honestly, it can't be _that _bad! You guys are getting worked up over nothing, absolutely nothing."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"SAI AND INO?"

"_YES _NARUTO, JEEZ!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**SEVEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Hmmm...OH! WE SHOULD GO SEE SANTA! And after that, shopping!" Ino exclaimed suddenly.

Everyone sweatdropped, minus Luna, who was eyeing them all curiously. "Ino, Christmas isn't for another two months. Which means Santa isn't coming to Konoha until, like, the second week of November," Sakura stated.

"And people say I'M an idiot," Naruto commented, earning an elbow in the ribs from Ino and Sakura.

"Who is this 'Santa' person you wanna see?" Luna asked, making everyone turn to look at her.

"You've NEVER heard of SANTA?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

She blinked. "...Am I supposed to?"

"OF COURSE YOU ARE!" Ino and Sasuke replied. Sai sweatdropped. "Luna, even _I_ know about Saint Nicholas."

She had a mini-mental-spazz attack, paling. _Wait, so who is it, Santa or Saint Nicholas? THERE'S TWO OF THEM?_ "I'll never understand civilians," Luna muttered so low that only Naruto heard it since he was right next to her.

Naruto sighed and shook his head, not even bothering to comment about Luna's comment. "Man, I wish Christmas would hurry up. That's the opportune time for blackmail against Sasuke!"

"Just because I'm a bit...'spirited' around Christmas, doesn't mean it's anything with blackmail potential," Sasuke commented matter-of-factly.

"Oh, whatever."

As Ino and Sakura continued trying to think of something to do, Luna leaned towards Naruto. "Seriously, who's this Santa Clause person? And what does he have to do with Saint Nicholas?"

Then she gasped. "Does this 'Saint Nicholas' have something to do with the Holy Cupcake Jesus?"

Naruto sweatdropped. "...They're the same person. Santa Clause and Saint Nicholas, that is. And he's _only_ the coolest person on the _planet_! ANY PLANET! See, he comes to Konoha and brings with him an elf and a big-ass chair. Then, you tell him what you want for Christmas, and he brings it to you while you're asleep on Christmas Eve!"

Luna stared at him for a second, eyeing him suspiciously. "...Surely you're joking."

"Nope. He's brought me at least three presents every year! Although I dunno how me spying on you in the hot spring will affect my number of presents...ah well, I've spied on practically EVERYONE in the hot spring over the years, and he's _still _bringing me crap!" He said cheerfully.

Instead of commenting on his perviness, she grinned like crazy. "Now _I_ cannot wait for Christmas too. I never knew such a being existed! Are you SURE he isn't the Holy Cupcake Jesus you love to mention?"

Naruto sweatdropped, and after a minute of opening and closing his mouth, he finally shook his head. "He's whatever you want him to be, how about that?"

She nodded. "Okay."

"AH-HA! FANTASTIC IDEA!" Sasuke suddenly shouted. Ino beamed after she looked around and saw it was quite obvious that no one else really cared what they did. "Why, THANK YOU, Sasuke! We'll do that, then!"

Naruto sweatdropped, and as Ino and Sakura grabbed Luna by both her forearms and ran a little ways ahead, he just shook his head.

Sai sweatdropped as well. "Sasuke, they must've mentioned seeing 'that new _total _tearjerker' about fifty times. How come you _just now_ agreed?"

"Simple. I was tired of hearing them argue over it. Seeing a movie sounds like the least painful option."

Naruto glanced at Luna, who was currently up ahead of them, being lectured by Ino and Sakura about something. "...Not for all of us," He replied.

The other two shuddered on her behalf. "That poor girl," Sai said ominously.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"That...was...horrific," Luna commented after Sakura bought her ticket and finally released her grip on her arm.

She, of course, had ran right to Naruto and stood as close to him as possible as a sort of safety net.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "How bad could it have been?" Luna shrugged. "Well, _this_ was part of their closing statements: 'Remember to _always_ make him work for it. Always leave him wanting more. Never make it easy, and remember that it's ALL IN THE HIPS, Luna!' 'Totally, Forehead, you tell her!'."

Naruto sweatdropped. "...That doesn't even make _sense_."

She shivered. "To _you_, thankfully. Unfortunately, when you know what ELSE they told me, it fits together rather perfectly. I think I'm scarred for life. The mental images are permanently fried into my brain now!"

"You know what scars ME for life? The fact that we have to sit through some sort of romance-drama-thingie."

Luna nodded. "Especially when so many other _good_ movies are playing. I tried to tell them that if they saw a scary movie, they'd probably have more opportunities to make moves on Sai and Sasuke, as they intend to do, but they wouldn't listen."

Naruto sweatdropped. "...Girls are weird."

"Aren't they? Sometimes I wonder why I'm classified as one."

"It's 'cause you're hot."

"That's all?"

"Pretty much."

Luna sweatdropped as well. "...Guys are weird, too." He grinned and nodded. "Yes, yes we are. The only difference is that _we _don't try to justify it."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Loon?"

"Huh?"

"I give you permission to shoot me. Please. _PLEASE_!"

"SHHHH!" Sakura and Ino hissed, already absorbed in the movie. Luna sweatdropped. "...Naruto, if I were gonna shoot _anybody_ right now, it'd be myself or the director of this movie."

"Couldn't you shoot me first, and THEN shoot yourself?"

"I could, but then I'd probably end up either being stuck in _heaven _with you, or going to _hell_, and my hellish punishment would be being stuck with _you _for all eternity," She replied matter-of-factly.

Naruto's temple throbbed. "...That's just plain mean. You girls, you're all the same."

Her temple throbbed as well. "Oh, we _are_, huh? Is that why I'm the only one in here not on the verge of an emotional breakdown?" She asked pointedly.

They looked around, and it did indeed look that way. Every girl on their row was either sniffling or had tears brimming their eyes.

...Plus Rock Lee, but he didn't count. God knows why he was here in the first place, anyways.

"Why are they so emotional already? It's only been, like, two minutes into the movie," Naruto asked.

Luna pointed at the screen. "That chick with the horizontal bangs's boyfriend just died in a car accident, and she also just found out her mom has breast cancer."

"All that? In two fricking minutes?"

"Obviously you've never seen a soap opera. Ayumi sure has. Trust me, I'm used to the fast pace of these things. It's always like this."

"Oh." He nodded, then he smirked. "You're actually WATCHING this?"

She shrugged. "It's either that or talk to _you_ the whole time and try not to notice you trying to steal my popcorn."

He huffed and retracted his hand from her popcorn, eating it very slowly and deliberately with a rather smug grin. She promptly kicked his shin.

"OW!"

"SHHHH!"

"SORRY, LADIES!"

"SHUT UP, NARUTO!" Everyone on their row hissed. Luna currently had her forehead resting against her palm and was shaking her head, trying not to laugh.

Naruto huffed again and crossed his arms. "...All your fault."

* * *

"Oh, how will I go on? The guilt's eating me alive," she muttered sarcastically. After everyone stopped giving them so many stink-eyes every few seconds, she finally lifted her head, trying to not fall asleep.

Needless to say, Naruto's arm sliding around her shoulders scared the crap out of her. She nearly kicked him again, but stopped herself at the last second.

"This isn't gonna help you get any popcorn," She stated.

He rolled his eyes. "I can just _grab_ the popcorn." Luna smirked. "Oh, so you're just trying to put the moves on me, is that it?"

His temple throbbed. "Maybe. Or maybe it's because Ino and Sakura keep looking at me funny for NOT doing it."

"How do you know _that's _why they're looking at you funny? What if you grew a moustache while you were sitting here?" She asked matter-of-factly.

"Be-_cause_, Loon, I – wait, what?" He sweatdropped. "What the hell's up with you? That's gotta be the randomest damn thing you've said all day."

She held up her cup triumphantly. "Sasuke bought me a shakemilk! It makes my brain do this kind of zzzziiiipy thing, I believe it is the sugar's doing," She explained, giggling at the expression on his face.

"...Milkshake."

Her temple throbbed. _Out of that whole thing, that's all he got? And yet, that still surprises me._ "WHATEVER IT'S CALLED!"

"SHUT UP!" Everyone shouted, and she sank lower into her seat as Naruto snickered. She saw him looking at her cup, and she glared up at him.

"Don't even think about it. Don't even LOOK at my shakemilk, Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Alright, alright! Jeez." He then pouted. "_I_ would've bought you a milkshake." Luna's eyebrows shot up. "...Yes, probably, but Sasuke did it first."

"Damn Sasuke, always doing things first. Buying people milkshakes. Might as well give him the Nobel Peace Prize." She was kind of impressed he knew what that was, but just sweatdropped. "...You're so weird."

Naruto huffed defiantly. "Maybe _you're_ the weird one for liking this suckfest of a movie!"

"I'm _watching_ it, I didn't say I was _enjoying_ it! Besides, I bet that by the end of this movie I'll be laughing my ass off at you while you cry like a weak little schoolgirl that fell and scraped her knee."

"YOU'RE SO ON!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Everyone shrieked, making them jump and exchange glares before staring at the screen, seething.

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"_**That was the first time Suzumi had been strong enough to play her piano in so many months...and it was also...her last time. Because she chose to keep the baby, despite it all, and died in childbirth on Christmas Day. Before she died, she named the child Raina...after that best friend of hers who died in an unfortunate bungee accident the day she went into labor, before she could give her soon-to-be-born godchild the precious silver rattle in person."**_

The words _**Eighteen Long Years Later... **_faded onto the screen. The movie theatre was dead silent, unless you counted all the fricking sniffling and sobbing. A young woman with long, waving black hair and hazel eyes came into view, walking down the street. There was a chain around her neck, and from it there dangled a silver rattle. Luna rolled her eyes as the sniffles heightened into tiny gasps of surprise. "Oh, please. As if it weren't obvious who she was," She muttered to herself, slurping miserably at her empty shakemilk.

Without the sugar, she was worried she'd fall asleep, and who KNEW what Naruto would do while she was asleep? For all she knew, he had stolen her Sharpie and was just WAITING for the opportune moment to draw on her face.

Luna sweatdropped at her own random paranoia. "...No more sugar for _you_," She informed herself, looking down at the cup and shaking her head.

"Raina has her dad's eyes," Naruto commented woefully, sniffling. Luna looked over at him in disbelief. "...Naruto, are you-"

"SHUT UP!"

"NARUTO, SHUT UP!" Shrieked the painfully familiar high-pitched voices of those damn emotional women all around them.

"I'M SORRY!"

"SHUSH!"

"...See whatchya did, Luna? I'm trying to watch the ending!" He hissed before turning back to the screen.

Her temple throbbed. "Well, ex-CUSE me!"

"Shhh!"

"Oh, you did NOT just 'shhh' me!"

"Shhh!"

She huffed and turned back to the screen. Stupid movie. Raina continued walking down the street, and resumed monologuing as a voice-over.

"_**I was always told my mother loved to play the piano. But there was an accident...the one that killed my father before she even knew I was to be born soon. Because of that accident...her health declined over the course of those nine months...and even though she loved me...she blamed me for how bedridden she became. But at least she got to play that beautiful piano, and make her enchanting music...one last time..."**_

The word "**FIN**" flashed across the screen, slowly fading away, and the credits rolled. The room was filled with unbridled sobbing as people filed out, and Luna turned to look at Naruto.

She sweatdropped so much after looking at him that she would be amazed if she still had sweat left.

He was staring at the screen, tears brimming his eyes, seemingly zoned out while sniffling. "...Naruto...Are you alright?" She asked with a hint of concern.

She really hoped he was just being overdramatic, as usual.

He jumped and cleared his throat, flushing. "Fine, totally fine. That movie SUCKED! I didn't get into it at all, what a crapfest!"

* * *

Luna tried really hard not to laugh. "Naruto, I saw the tears in your eyes. I'm not blind, y'know."

He grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, patting her head. "OH, POOR LUNA! YOU GOT SO EMOTIONAL THAT YOUR EYES FLOODED WITH TEARS AND YOU COULDN'T TELL WHO WAS CRYING! YOU EVEN THOUGHT _I _WAS CRYING! POOR, POOR LOON!" He wailed dramatically.

Luna's temple throbbed menacingly, her necklace pulsating rather violently. "Naruto Uzumaki, you have ten seconds to unhand me, or suffer the consequences."

"I'm sorry, what's that? I can't hear you with your face against me like that."

"I SAID, Naruto Uzumaki, you have-"

"What?"

"I SAID-"

"Jeez, Loon, you gotta speak up, seriously! What'd you say?"

"NARUTO!"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"LISTEN TO ME!"

"Huh?"

"ARRRGGHH!"

"...Ah, poor Loon. She's all torn up," Naruto commented innocently as the others watched them with sweatdrops.

"Naruto, I WILL kill you by the end of the night."

He patted her back rather hard as she continued to seethe. If only he weren't stronger than her, he'd SO be knocked flat on his ass right now. "THERE, THERE, LU-NAAA."

"NARUTOOO, DAMMIT!"

Sai cocked an eyebrow. "What in the world are they _doing_?" He whispered to the others, since they were out of earshot and were beyond confused.

"No clue," Sasuke replied.

Ino glanced at Sakura, whose eye was twitching slightly, and shrugged. "Foreplay?"


	18. All Shook Up

**Back again! Not much else to say, really. Except thanks for the reviews and alerts, they're much appreciated!**

**Well, read, enjoy, and review! :D**

* * *

"Say it."

"No."

"Say it or I won't let you go."

"Let me go or I won't say it!"

"Dammit, Luna, would you PLEASE just –"

"Naruto Uzumaki, unhand me this instant!"

"Not until you say it! Damn, were you not listening?"

"NARUTO!"

Sasuke sighed impatiently for the fiftieth time as they continued to watch Luna try to pry herself free from Naruto's...choke hold?

_Might as well be, the way she's struggling. Odd, if you ask me, what with them dating and all. Then again, hard **not** to want to shoot yourself in the head once that moron has you pinned against him like that..._

Sasuke shuddered at the thought, and Ino finally sighed. "YOU TWO! Hurry it up, we don't have all night for this!"

"Let. Me. GO! NOW!"

"Fiiiiinee...once you SAY IT!"

"NO!"

"JUST SAY IT!"

"FINE, DAMMIT, FINE!" Luna took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Naruto...Uzumaki..." He cupped a hand to his ear dramatically as she mumbled the rest of it under her breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"I said, Naruto...Uzumaki...IS A MORON FOR THINKING I'D GIVE IN THAT EASILY!" She shouted, using his hand against his ear to her advantage and wrenching herself free of his grip.

Naruto just grinned up at her before standing up. "Hey, look at that, you're learning!"

"You better be buying me a shakemilk for this."

"Milkshake?" Everyone wondered. "WHATEVER they are," Luna replied impatiently, making his grin grow even more.

Sasuke just knew something had to be up. Luna's appearance was just all too sudden, and they were so...he didn't even know how to word it.

He just had a hunch. Instinct told him there was something..._else_ about this whole thing. And he was an Uchiha. An Uchiha's instinct is _always_ a good one to follow.

He slowed his pace, glad Sakura had Ino to distract her. Otherwise, he'd get asked at least five times if he was alright.

Just as Sasuke had hoped, they didn't realize he was lagging behind to eavesdrop, and started talking.

* * *

Luna huffed as she walked out of the theatre alongside Naruto. "Why do you look like you won?" She asked him.

"Huh?"

"I won, so why do you look like YOU won?"

He grinned. "Because you hate it." Luna's temple throbbed. "...Sometimes, I fantasize about the many, many, MANY ways I could torture and kill you with my bare hands."

Naruto gulped. "THIS is why I would never date an Agent. I like pissing you off too much. Damn your Super-Spy Skills!"

She couldn't help but grin. "And don't you forget it," she added ominously to make up for it, but it had less effect due to stupid Naruto making her smile.

_Agent, huh? What the hell's an Agent? Wait...Super-Spy Skills? _Sasuke thought about it for a few moments, and finally, he shook his head. Something brushed against his arm, and he looked over to see Sakura smile at him. "Ino got annoying."

Almost like reflex, he smiled briefly. Since when did he smile? _Great, another mystery. But still...an Agent...?_

_Naruto, what've you gotten us into now?_

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

"...Naruto..."

"...Yeah..."

"...Remind me...to NEVER follow Sakura and Ino ever again..."

"No...problem..."

They exchanged a tired sigh as they continued to trudge back to his house. They had gone from the movies, to hunting down Luna's shakemilk, to "bargain hunting" (which Luna had quickly figured out meant "Either getting one extremely expensive article of clothing, or nothing at all"), to hunting down the little punk that broke into the Yamanakas' flower shop.

So, yes, they were quite exhausted. So exhausted that she couldn't care less that Naruto was watching as she slipped into her pajamas.

She had a bra and underwear on, and he'd seen her in less anyways, so why _should_ she care?

Luna winced as her newest wound, the one with the Fox chakra still in it, was irritated by the cloth running against it as she took her shirt off.

She tried to put her undershirt on as quickly as possible, but it was too late. "Whoa, wait, what was that?"

"What was what?" She said quickly, angling that side of her body out of his view. Naruto pointed to her side. "THAT! It was some sorta...scar thing...I didn't really see it."

Luna laughed nervously. "O-Oh, that! I, umm...fell...down the stairs...back at Rei's...and...yeah!" She felt like facepalming herself. It would figure that the one person she had the most trouble lying to was the person she needed to lie to the most.

Naruto sweatdropped. "You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?" He moved to try and lift her shirt up to get a good look, and Luna jumped away from him.

"Okay, fine! The-The truth is, I, uhhh...have...STRETCH MARKS!"

He stared at her. "...Stretch marks."

"Yes, stretch marks. That's right, I used to be a little chubby, so what?"

He rolled his eyes. "Considering you thought Saltine crackers and ramen were gifts from the heavens, I find it very hard to believe you were chubby."

"Hey, it is _absolutely_ possible to get fat off of them, thanks very much!"

Naruto sweatdropped again before sighing and reaching for her undershirt again. "Lemme see, will ya? It's not like I haven't seen you in worse conditions before."

Luna reflexively glanced down at her foot, the one that was still wrapped up from being impaled.

She slapped his hand away, yanking her shirt back down with a defensive noise. "I don't THINK so!"

"Jeez, chill out!" Naruto said with an exasperated sigh, grabbing her by the wrist with one hand and pinning it against the wall she was standing beside before lifting up the side of her shirt.

* * *

He stared at it for a second. Luna knew the exact moment when he figured out what it was, because his breathing changed.

An Agent monitors those things, you know.

"Naruto..."

"I did this...right?"

"...Kind of."

"Was this when we fought back in the Manor of Gay?"

"Can you think of any other time it could have occurred?" She retorted.

He didn't really answer that one. "...It looks...fresh."

"It's the chakra, I think. I haven't gotten around to how I'm gonna get Sakura to heal it for me without her asking questions."

"She's gonna ask questions anyway."

"I know."

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes."

"A lot?"

"Sometimes."

"Oh. ...Can...Can I touch it?"

"...If you...just _really_ feel compelled to do so," she replied with a sweatdrop. He hesitated, and once he finally made contact with it, she understood why.

* * *

Her side was engulfed in white-hot pain, and she almost screamed. Luna squeezed her eyes shut, and then it was reduced to a dull throb, just like that.

She wondered if he had felt her whole body tense up before going limp, since he still had her wrist pinned and a hand on her side.

Normally, if he had, he probably would've pulled away, thinking it was the close proximity level that was making her tense.

But he still had his hand there. She could feel it. "...That...was just plain freaky," she breathed, now three shades paler.

"I did something like this to Sakura, too. ...A while back. When we were trying to get Sasuke to come back," he said quietly.

Luna slowly opened her eyes, but didn't look at him. That might've made him shut up, and she was curious now. "She said Orochimaru did it, but...Yamato told me it was me. But...it didn't look like this. It looked...scorched. But this...it looks like fire."

_Well, thanks, Captain Obvious. I haven't looked at it every time I changed clothes or anything,_ Luna thought dryly. She always got restless and agitated when he touched her. Especially like this.

Probably because he made it so hard on her self-control when he touched her.

It really did look like fire. It went from the left edge of her middle back, wrapping around to the other side, skirting her stomach.

It was like a slash, like one you might see on a tiger, only less...tamed, one could say. And that dull, blood orange color...

Fire.

She resisted the urge to hiss in a breath as he ran his fingers along the length of it. It didn't hurt. Not in a bad way.

Some pain was good. There were very few kinds of good pain, but this was most definitely one of them.

It was almost like the scar itself reacted to him. Almost like it...sprung to life. _Guess there really is Fox chakra still in it. And the Fox chakra in Naruto's blood must be...I dunno. Attracting it, I guess. That explains the pulling feeling..._

_What is it with us and tracing marks on each other?_ Luna wondered suddenly with a sweatdrop.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said suddenly. The sudden noise made her jump, and she slid away from his hand.

"...Don't be. I kinda did it myself. I was trying to dodge you, but I dodged about three seconds too late."

"No, I mean, I'm sorry you had to dodge me in the first place."

"That's my fault too. The Manor was messing with everyone's abilities to control their emotions. If I heard someone scream about how much they hated me, I'd want to hurt 'em too."

Naruto sighed exasperatedly. "Would you please just let me apologize _one time_ without saying it's not my fault? Jeez."

Luna closed her mouth comically, making him roll his eyes as he took the liberty of pulling her shirt back down.

A few moments passed, and Luna blinked. "Umm...Naruto, my wrist?"

He jumped, having been zoning out, and slowly let go of her wrist. "Oh, right. Sorry." She couldn't help but sigh as he turned away from her. He was feeling guilty.

Hadn't they just been over this? She had _clearly stated _it wasn't his fault. Stubborn ass, making her feel guilty for him feeling guilty.

Needless to say, Luna was NOT in the mood to hear her phone ringing.

* * *

You know, the one she had just put back together after Naruto took it apart to stop having to hear it ring.

"Oh, look at that. IT STILL WORKS." With a glare at Naruto, who winced and smiled innocently, she slid it open with much more force than necessary.

Her temple throbbed as the cover flipped right off, and she slowly picked it up, putting both pieces to her ear. "...Listen, you damn annoying bastard, I'm sick of you calling me. Enough is enough, dammit! I used to be scared of you, but by God, I just want you to GO AWAY!"

Naruto gave her two thumbs up enthusiastically, and she nodded. "I know, it was awesome," she mouthed.

But then she heard Becs on the other line. _"L-Loony? I have no idea who you're talking about, but l-l-listen, I...I think I'm going crazy, because I-I-I..."_

"Becs? Hey, calm down, what's wrong?" Luna asked worriedly. She sounded near hysterical.

"_I...Loony, I saw him! I SAW HIM. Alex. He was here, he was here, he was really p-pissed and...I saw him, Loony, I swear I did!" _She heard Becs breaking off into sobs on the other end as her phone was moved around.

"_Hey, she's a wreck over here,"_ Ichigo said suddenly, making her jump.

"Ichigo?"

"_No, it's the Boogeyman."_

"Sarcasm is NOT what I wanna deal with at the moment!" Luna snapped before closing her eyes briefly, willing her emotions to calm down before the damn necklace blinded her and Naruto.

"...Look, um...what...come to Konoha. Okay?"

"_Why not go to –"_

"Come to Konoha!" Luna repeated firmly.

"_...Okay. Okay. We're on our way."_

_**CLICK.**_

Luna sighed and set her phone down gently, sitting down on the window seat and looking at the ground, thinking.

"...Naruto, how long does it take to get here from the Village Hidden in the Mist?"

"Uhhh...Depends. I'd say a day or two, but I dunno exactly. Why, what the hell's going on?"

She ran a hand through her hair tiredly before standing up, deciding that caffeine was a good idea at the moment. "Becs saw him. That's about all I could figure out, she sounded like she was in shock. Who wouldn't be..."

"Saw who?"

She closed her eyes briefly again. "...The Boogeyman."

**

* * *

**

**BUM-BUM-BUUUUM! Well, we've got Sasuke getting suspicious and a terrified Becs. What could happen next? Huh? HUH? **

**...Erm...Hope you enjoyed? Review? XD**


	19. Movie Butter, huh?

**Back! Aaaand we pick up where the dramatic moment left off!**

**...Sorta. :D**

**Read, enjoy, review, ENJOY!**

**...Yes, I know I said enjoy twice, I promise. XD**

* * *

She couldn't stay still. Just couldn't. How could _anyone_ stay in one place when every time they closed their eyes, they imagined their dead ex-boyfriend exacting his vengeance on their best friend, who was hours away?

Too far away for an Agent of her status to do a damn thing to help.

For Luna, that was worse than any punishment the Agency could possibly give. And they definitely had some gruesome ones...

_Nope, no, stop it, STOP IT! _With a determined nod, Luna closed her eyes again. ...Which lasted for about forty-three seconds, if _that_ long.

Then her eyes snapped open, and she sprung off the window seat, creeping through the hellish obstacle course known as Naruto's Dirty Laundry.

She froze as she heard him turn over, muttering restlessly to himself.

"Mmmph...No, that's MY waffle...No, stop...LUNA PUT THAT FORK DOWN, DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! NOOOO!" Luna's temple throbbed as she remained frozen until he calmed back down.

_Do I really terrify his subconscious that much?_

She shook her head and continued to the doorway. Once she got there, she paused to turn and look at him.

It was a habit now; whenever she woke up before him, she'd check one last time to make sure he was alright before she left the room.

She really hoped she simply did it because she was an extremely paranoid Agent. It wasn't too far-fetched, you know.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

A cabinet slamming woke him up. Naruto thought it was part of his dream at first, but that would hardly make sense.

What the hell would a _tiger_ be looking for in his cabinets? Jeez, logic.

That only left two possibilities. Either someone broke in and wanted some of his ramen (which was pretty much the only thing he had stored in his cabinets), or Hinata had broken in again and she and Luna were currently fighting to the death over him in a really hot way that would only happen in his wildest dreams.

...Or it could be just Luna.

"_Pleeeease_, for the love of all that's hot, let it be the second one," Naruto pleaded to the ceiling before running for the kitchen.

His eager expression slowly faded away once he saw it was just Luna. "...Damn. So close." He watched with lots of sweatdrops as she cleaned dishes that were already clean, wiped up some kind of invisible mess, rearranged some things that appeared to already have been arranged (by her, he was guessing), mumbling to herself the whole time.

"...Loon?"

She jumped about three feet off the ground with a tiny squeak of a shout, looking around spastically.

"Oh, it's you," Luna said with a sigh of relief. Naruto sweatdropped. "Well, who the hell else would it be?"

"Anybody, it could be anybody. Especially Alex. She saw him, remember?"

"Who did?"

"Becs did! Weren't you fricking listening?"

"But...you said she saw the Boogeyman...?" Great, now he was beyond confused. Luna sighed, still flitting around the kitchen frantically.

"He might as well be the Boogeyman. He has the same effect on our minds, me and Becs. Maybe Will, too. He never talks about him, none of us do. Until he started calling me...why's he calling me anyways, does he really think I'm gonna be any help to him? I killed him, for crying out loud! If anything, he should be lurking in the shadows, all nice and quiet-like, but _nooo_, he has to be a flipping loudass!" She ranted, pacing frantically at this point.

_I didn't even know loudass was a word._

Naruto sweatdropped about three more times before making his way over to her, planting his hands on her shoulders.

She stopped abruptly, but continued looking around, trying to find something to keep her busy. Anything.

"Hey. Hey, Luna. Calm down. CALM. You hear me?" He waited for a second, then tried again.

"HEY, LUNA!" She jumped. "What?" She squeaked. "Calm yourself. Okay? Everything's gonna be fine."

"Calm myself? I'm calm! See, look at me, I'm totally fine, I'M CALM, DAMMIT!"

Naruto sweatdropped yet again. "...Yeah, the sheer embodiment of calm." She wriggled away from him, resuming her mad pace around the kitchen. "Leave me alone, would ya? You deal with things in your own way, I'll deal with things in mine."

His temple throbbed as he opened a drawer and pulled out some duct tape, hiding it behind his back. "You leave me no choice...HEY LUNA!"

"WHAT, Naruto, what!"

"I got you an early Christmas present!" He announced cheerfully, edging towards her. She eyed him suspiciously, eyes narrowed. "...Really?"

He nodded, and she brightened. "I've never received a present before!" Great, now he felt a little guilty.

_Nope, stop it, IT MUST BE DONE!_

"Well, there's a first time for everything. Just come a _liiiittle_ closer..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**HALF ****AN HOUR LATER...**_

"Naruto, I have to use the bathroom."

"Nice try."

"No, I am dead serious! Unravel me this instant!" She demanded, trying to stomp her foot. But her feet didn't even touch the ground, so her foot just swung around instead, making her temple throb.

Naruto turned the volume up on the TV, and she huffed before doing a great number of near-impossible maneuvers to throw a pillow at his face with her feet, since her arms were duct-taped to her sides. "I HAVE TO PEE, DAMMIT, WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?"

"How do I know you aren't lying?"

"You'll see once there's a puddle for you to clean up!" She threatened. He shot off the couch and helped her stand up before unraveling her. "Go, go, _go_!"

Luna rolled her eyes, and as soon as her back was turned, she smirked. She could've gotten out of the duct tape any time she wanted to, it was actually quite simple since she had a file sharpened to perfection in her sock.

The other Agents called it "paranoia". She called it "prepared for any creepers that come my way".

But anyway. She just wanted to see how easily she could persuade him.

When she finished washing her hands, she glanced at her reflection. And winced. Luna looked about as bad as she did after her first week in the Manor of Sleep; dark circles under her eyes, skin looking sallow.

Only instead of being dull, her eyes looked...jumpy, sort of. Like she expecting something to grab her at any second.

As if meant to scare that crap out of her, someone pounded on Naruto's door. "Gah!"

_**THUD! CLING!**_

It worked.

"Owww," Luna groaned from her position in the bathtub, legs sprung in two totally different directions and the rest of her sprawled out all over the place.

What with her mussed bedhead hair being mussed even more now, she had to admit she looked rather comical.

Naruto sure seemed to think so. "Hey, I heard a big crashing noise...Oh, wow. Way to go." Luna's temple throbbed as he continued to laugh his ass off.

"...Mind helping me up?"

He tried to keep as straight a face as possible as he held out a hand. "Right, sorry. Some Agent _you _are!"

It took great self-control not to pull him into the tub and duct tape him to it, but someone was still knocking on the door, so she had to let that one slide with nothing but a simple "Shut up."

* * *

As soon as she opened the door, Becs bombarded her with a hug. "Ohmigod, thank the bloody Queen you're alright! I've been worried all night!"

Ichigo looked like the walking dead as he pretty much collapsed in the doorway, plopping down on his ass with a tired sigh.

Luna decided to be nice, and dragged him into the room before someone hit him with the door. Becs decided Naruto was a good enough substitute while she was dragging Ichigo, and wrapped her thin exotic arms around his neck, burying her face against him.

"Oh, it was terrible! I didn't believe it at first! Loony, he's alive! He's fucking ALIVE!"

Luna's temple throbbed as Naruto patted her back gently. "Naruto Uzumaki, it would be in your best interest to move your hand a little further away from my best friend's ass. Thank you."

Ichigo grinned up at her, still looking absolutely haggard. "Now, Luna, now's not the time to be jealous. Can't you see Becs is _upset_ here?"

Her temple throbbed, and she dropped his arms abruptly, making them crash against the floor in a very satisfying way. "Ow! Jeez, I carried your friend half the way here!"

Luna looked at Becs. "Seriously?"

"I was tired, and he's so fast," she mumbled from against Naruto.

"What, is it a Soul Reaper thing? NARUTO, STOP STROKING HER HAIR!"

"IT'S A COMFORTING GESTURE!"

"NOT WITH YOU, IT'S NOT!" She sighed and shook her head, and Ichigo just grinned even more. "Wow. And yeah, it is. She wanted to get here fast, so I got here fast."

"That's actually kind of nice of you."

"Thanks, I have my moments."

As if to bring them all back on topic, Luna's phone rang. She went to look at it, and promptly handed it to Naruto.

He threw it against the farthest wall, making it snap in half. Again. He held out his fist, and she bumped it with hers. "I'd give it a nine-point-five."

Becs looked at them both in confusion. "Who was it?"

"Alex."

"But...you killed him...how are you taking it this well?"

"Because this is _only_ the eigtheen millionth time he's called her," Naruto answered for her. Becs was starting to tremble again, and Luna pulled her onto the couch with her. "Tell us what happened. Okay? Everything."

She sniffled. Luna looked at Naruto, who nodded. "I'll get the chocolate."

Ichigo grinned and shook his head; she'd ask about that later.

Becs nodded slowly. "Well, um...I was fixing something to eat..."

_

* * *

_

_Becs sighed as she emptied the rest of the Goldfish. They were Flavor-Blasted, which made her instantly think of Loony._

_They hadn't been separated this long in such a long time...actually, no they'd never been separated more than three days. Not since Becs first started working for the Agency, years ago._

_And here she was, without her best friend for almost two months._

_She sighed again at that thought, remembering how Loony used to be. Before all the shit hit the fan with Alex and the damn Agency._

_Back when she was happy, and she still had her own personality that the Agency hadn't convinced her to hide._

_Of course, she still had little moments where she'd make Becs smile, but most of the time...she just felt a little sad for her._

_Luna didn't realize what she was missing, being all neutral all the time like that. "With a little effort and some fliirting, I'd bet she'd be eighty times happier,"_

* * *

"HA! Luna _flirting_! _Luna_! That's fricking hilarious!" Naruto interrupted, him and Ichigo practically rolling with laughter.

Luna's temple throbbed. "I flirt, THANKS VERY MUCH. Well, not recently, but still." Becs nodded in agreement, temporarily distracted from her unsettling recounting.

"It's true, y'know. I taught her tons of techniques. Once you see her flirt, you'll never be the same."

Naruto went all starry-eyed. "Heeey, Loon, _we _should flirt in public! It'd make Sasuke's day."

"No it wouldn't."

"It'd make MY day."

"All the more reason not to."

"It'd make Sakura's day, and it'd make your job easier."

"Maybe."

"YES!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Go ahead, Becs." She frowned, not really _wanting _to go ahead, but she took a deep breath and did it anyways.

_

* * *

_

_Becs had just put some popcorn in the microwave when she heard shuffling from another room._

_Luckily, she and Ichigo were sharing a two-bedroom two-bath flat, so it narrowed down the possible rooms an intruder could be in._

_Unluckily, she was in fact sharing a two-bedroom two-bath flat...with **Ichigo**._

_But anyway. She felt a slight twinge of adrenaline as she briskly surveyed the living room and Ichigo's room._

_Then she checked the bathrooms. There was only one room left...hers. Becs crept silently towards her closed door, counted to three in her head, and swung it open._

_Empty._

_Satisfied, she let out a tiny sigh of relief before shutting the door, pressing her face against it. Why did she still feel uneasy?_

"_Oh, look, there she is. Her best friend."_

_The blood drained from her face. She had to be imagining it. Had to be. There was absolutely no way Alex Sharpe was standing behind her. Good thing she hadn't taken out her gun; he was already dead, after all. Wasn't he?_

_Scared to look, she squeezed her eyes shut briefly before letting out a shuddery breath and turning around to face him._

_There he was, looking as if he never died. Except for the mark from the shrapnel in his forehead. _

_Loony had shot him twice in the chest, not being able to bring herself to shoot him in the head. The bullet that was meant for his head that first try had missed, but the __shrapnel had grazed him on the forehead, and now here he was, looking perfectly healed. _

_Same brown hair with those dark brown highlights in it, same body build, no decaying bits of flesh. But his eyes...they were so angry..._

_His green eyes were flashing, and not in a sexy way. Not at all._

"_Where is she?"_

_

* * *

_

_Becs opened her mouth to speak, but just couldn't find the words. He didn't seem to like that. He braced his hand against the wall, right next to her._

_Dangerously close to her throat. "I **said**...where is she? Where's Luna?"_

"_I-I dunno!"_

"_Bullshit! You two're inseparable. Where...is she...Becs, where is she?"_

_Her eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare call me that, you filthy traitor." He showed a twinge of hurt, but it was gone so quickly that it took Becs a long time afterward to figure out what it had been._

"_Dammit, tell me where she is! I don't wanna have to persuade you, but..." He twirled some kind of throwing knife in his hand before making it roll over his knuckles._

_He noticed her panicked look and smirked, faking a throw at her. She couldn't help but scream, it was mere centimeters (if that) from stabbing her right between the eyes._

"_Where is she? Huh? Where's Luna?"_

_She stared at him stonily, and after a few minutes, the hand by her throat closed **around **her throat, lifting her up off the ground._

"_I'm only gonna ask nicely one more time, and then I'm gonna start getting rough. I need. To see. Luna. Where. Is. She. Can you comprehend what I'm asking? Or should I talk slower?" _

_His tone was the sheer embodiment of mockery as Becs tried to kick him, her hands clawing at the hand wrapped around her throat as she gasped for air._

"_...I...I won't tell you...You can just go to **hell**!"_

_Alex shook his head, leaning his face close to hers. "Don't even **talk **about hell. Not until you've been there. You'll never wanna mention it again, trust me. You weak little Agents wouldn't last a damn day down there."_

_He stared at her for a second as she started turning a little red in the face with the effort of resisting him. She heard the dim sound of the microwave beeping, and soon the smell of popcorn wafted over them. He smirked, flexing his hand so he could hear her gasp even louder. "Yum. Movie butter, huh? I don't think the Agency would like to hear about that. Maybe I should pay Tara a visit too."_

_Alex grinned as she continued gasping, unflexing his hand oh, so slowly._ "_...You know, it'd be in everyone's best interests if you cooperated. I've got friends in high places now, who won't hesitate to sink low. Just think, if you cooperate, you get a ton of perks. I'm happy, you keep your life, Luna keeps hers, and we'll just stick with getting rid of this Demon Kid my friend keeps mentioning. Deal?"_

_And with that, he let her drop to the floor with a **THUD**. An idea must have struck him. "Oh...lemme guess...they chose HER to protect him, didn't they? Her? THAT'S where she is? Konoha."_

_He started laughing, doubled over as Becs just stared at him, still in shock. "That's rich! Do they not know what he **did**? Oh, wow, just wait until she figures out what he did to her family...oh, wow...maybe I won't even need to kill him myself."_

"_She won't let you **touch **him, you slimy bastard," Becs choked out, a hand on her neck gingerly._

_He didn't really hurt her, she had been through worse; his mere presence was enough to make her clutch her throat in fear._

_Alex just grinned. "We'll see about that, alright? You forget one very important thing."_

"_Oh yeah? What's that?" She spat at him with some newfound sense of courage._

_His grin grew. "I know pretty much everything there is to know about Luna Sasaki. ...Oh, surprised she has a last name? I can tell by your face that I know a lot more than you do. Along with this library of information up here about her," he added, pointing to his head, "I know **exactly **what to say. She'll be shooting him in no time. And if not, well..."_

_He shrugged, winking at her. "You have imagination, I know." _

"_Don't you **touch **her! **Either **of them!"_

"_Oh, touching won't be necessary. **Talking's **all it takes. Thanks, Becs, it was good to see ya again." And just like that, he strode out as she started whimpering despite herself._

_And she promptly passed out in the middle of the hallway._

* * *

"...And _that's _how I found her," Ichigo concluded for her. Towards the end of her recounting, Becs' voice had grown dimmer and dimmer.

Now she stared at the floor silently, trembling.

"He was so _angry_...He may have sounded calm, but if you had only seen him, Loony...Whenever he mentioned you, or _especially _Naruto, he got even _angrier_...I..." She looked up at Luna, who was trying to avoid looking at her.

Luna ended up meeting her piercing gaze anyway. "Loony, you listen to me. Don't you listen to him. He's full of shit."

"Not exactly. ...My name _is _Luna Sasaki, and...a couple...other things...he's accurate...about...But I promise I won't, all the same...I, uh...yeah..." She trailed off, not wanting to talk about Naruto. It wasn't her information to share.

He seemed relieved by that.

Becs nodded, satisfied. "Good. Good. Um...is there a hotel we can stay at? I don't really think Ichigo would like me too much if we went back to the Mist tonight..."

They glanced at Ichigo, who was currently passed out on the couch, and sweatdropped. "...You two can just sleep on the couch," Luna offered, shaking her head and standing up. "If he left you any space..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

It was too quiet. Well, besides all the snoring. And that whistling noise caused by Becs' stud on her nose that could be heard from a mile away.

But _other _than that...it was so quiet...like the calm before the storm.

"...Naruto?"

"..."

"...Naruto?"

She heard him groan. "Yeah?" He asked before mumbling something about wishing she was normal and would give up after calling his name once.

She sweatdropped before sighing. "...Um...You know that no matter what he might say, I would protect you no matter what...right?"

"...Yeah...Yeah, I know."

"...What if...he told you things about me?"

"...Like what?"

"...Entirely hypothetical, is all. If he said horrible things about how I did my job...horrible things...things that made me seem...like a robot...like a-a cold-blooded killer –"

"Loon, call me crazy, but I just don't trust dead guys."

She grinned at that and turned over, satisfied. "Oh. Wise policy."

"..."

"..."

"...Oh, and Luna?"

"Hmm?"

"...Me too. You."

"Huh?"

"I'd protect you too. No matter what."

She was glad it was dark, because otherwise he would've seen her arm shoot up and shove her necklace as far down under the covers as she could.


	20. Place Your Bets!

****

Back again! I can't say a whole lot since I'm about to leave to go visit her, but my grandmomma's in the ICU with pneumonia and blood clots in her lungs, and I would really appreciate it if ya'll just kept her in your thoughts.

**Please.**

**Me and her are really close, I barely slept last night. But anyway. **

**Read, review, enjoy.**

* * *

For once, Luna wasn't the first to wake up. Actually, she was next to last. Ichigo was still passed out when she passed through the living room to go to the kitchen.

Naruto was up before her? Scary.

Then she rolled her eyes. She forgot Becs was here; no wonder he got up earlier _today_ of all days. Couldn't be on a day convenient for her, oh _no_, of _course_ not.

"We'll be leaving once Ichigo wakes up," Becs was saying. Luna sat on the counter behind her, swinging her legs as she stretched as far as possible to grab a Pop-Tart from the middle shelf of the cabinet to her left.

"That might be a while," Luna replied before taking a huge bite of her Pop-Tart. After the Manor of Gay, when Naruto found out she had no earthly idea what the hell a Pop-Tart was, he dragged them to the nearest store and bought eight boxes of eight different flavors.

Looking back, Luna realized she had been too him dragging her and her poor sore body around right after battling ghosts and sustaining the most injuries of the whole group to even _bother_ looking for Flavor-Blasted Goldfish while they were there.

She frowned at that. _Damn, I miss those things..._

It was quiet, now that her phone was snapped in half. Like she would bother putting it together until absolutely necessary; yeah _right_.

"So, who wants to place bets on how long he takes to get here?" Ichigo said out of nowhere, making them all jump.

"Let's not," Becs replied.

Luna held up a hand. "I say three days."

"I say four."

"Two," Naruto chimed, and Luna waved him off. "No way. Alex likes to make a dramatic entrance. Also, he prefers odd numbers."

"Probably because _you're _odd," Ichigo said thoughtfully, making Becs' temple throb. "Can we please refer to him in the past tense, Loony? He's still dead, remember that."

Luna shook her head. "I'm not so sure. You said yourself, he showed no signs of decay whatsoever. In fact, you mentioned the shrapnel wound was healed up as a scar. There's no way that could happen post mortem. Impossible as it may sound, I'm afraid Alex Sharpe...is very much alive."

There was silence, which Naruto the Village Idiot decided to break. "...Y'know, she's right. If he were dead, he'd technically be a zombie. And zombies don't have thoughts, and don't usually speak. They just eat people's brains."

Luna shook her head. "Not true, they eat flesh as well."

"But they _still _eat brains."

"They need a primitive form of thought to do either or all of those actions, though, so _technically_, their brain is still somewhat active. It sends messages to the body as to how to move. Therefore, they have thoughts. Therefore, you're wrong. Again."

"Yeah, well...I...uhh...ALEX ISN'T A ZOMBIE, THOUGH!"

"You say that because you have nothing ELSE to say."

"So what if I don't? Alex isn't a zombie, the end."

Luna huffed. "...Perhaps you are right on _that _count." Becs and Ichigo were sweatdropping over on the other side of them, and they blinked at them innocently.

"...What?"

Becs shook her head slowly, and Ichigo seemed to have a sudden thought. "Someone's gonna need to tell Tara about Alex."

"No!" Luna shouted instantly, making everyone jump and look at her. She cleared her throat, paling. "...The Agency must not know about this unless absolutely necessary. As in, one of us is injured or killed by him."

"...Why?" Ichigo asked.

"Because. ...There is no telling what they would do to us. It would be our fault that such a threat was made against the Agency, as I'm sure he intends to do, and...trust me...you just do not understand how obscure their morals are, to put it nicely," she said quietly.

Ichigo looked confused, and Naruto dumbed it down for him. "In other words, the Agency's more corrupt than you'd think. If they found out someone they 'got rid of' was back and threatening their Agents, and it got out of control, the blame would fall on you guys. Mainly Luna and Becs. Especially Luna, since she was the one who killed him the first time."

"He's died more than once? Great, now I'm really confused!" Ichigo whined. Naruto grinnned, stretching his arms and popping his knuckles. "No, but he _will _after we kill him a second time."

Becs smiled at that one.

Luna nodded, and his hand squeezed hers briefly as his arms fell back down to brace against the counter.

She seriously considered strangling him at the look that crossed Becs' face. Luna was _so_ going to hear about that later.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Becs shut the door behind them before turning to glare at her. "Loony, have you gone _mad_?"

"What?" She asked, deciding to pretend she had no earthly idea what she was talking about. Her friend just sighed and shook her head. "...You know _exactly _what. What was _that _back there? Huh? What the hell are you doing?"

"I...I'm doing as I was instructed. Protecting him. Why?"

Becs glared at her, sighing impatiently. "You know damn well why. Luna, believe it or not, I know you. Okay? And I know that this is slowly getting to be more than an _assignment_."

She felt the blood rush up to her face, her whole body feeling prickly. "N-No it's not! Why would you even suggest that?"

"I can see it! I'm not bloody blind! Wherever he leans, _you _lean. Whatever you're thinking, _he _knows it. Whenever he touches you, that bloody _necklace _starts glowing, and judging by the expression you try _not _to have, I can bloody well guess what it's glowing for. You're...this is just like Alex. This is almost _exactly _how it happened! Only worse, much worse! And you know that! That's what's so terrible, you know it, and you're letting it happen anyway! You need to leave before it gets any worse!" She pointed towards the door angrily for emphasis.

"Becs, calm down, listen to me –"

"How about _you _listen to _me _for a change? Huh? I may not have been put through all you've been through with the Agency, but I do know them. And I know you. And I know it's only a matter of time before you get us all in a situation we can't get out of. I don't wanna see you punished, and I don't wanna see whatever they might do to Naruto! You hear me? You've gotta go!"

"I –"

"Loony, please! Please! You have to! I don't wanna see you break all over again, right when it looks like you're getting put back together! I mean, we can call Tara, she can put someone else here on your assignment, no discredit, no problem. Okay? Just..." She trailed off at the look on Luna's face, her fingers still placed on her phone to dial.

"The only reason...The only reason I'm being 'put back together'...is _because _of him. I have no clue how, or why, but it's true. It's him, Becs. And...I made a promise...to myself...a long time ago...that I would protect him no matter what."

She had been looking down at her feet, her head bowed slightly, but now she looked up at Becs determinedly. "And to do that, I need you to lemme do whatever I need to do. I can distance myself. I can ignore that deviously flirtatious voice in my head that pops up every once in a while. I can bypass all those hormones, and feelings, and force my necklace to stop glowing...hell, I could just put it under my shirt, it usually does the trick...but...I _need_ to be here. My past is here, my assignment's here..._he's _here."

Becs stared at her, and Luna slowly shook her head. "I-I can't _leave _them yet. I...I can't leave _him _yet. I can't."

She stared at Luna for the longest time before sighing and putting her phone back in her pocket. "...Loony...you're gonna be the death of me." She looked around, eyes wide at the mess. "What the hell – what room is _this_?"

Luna laughed nervously. "His bedroom...and mine..." "LOONY!" "I SLEEP ON THE WINDOW SEAT, JEEZ!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FOUR ****HOURS LATER...**_

Becs hugged her for the eighth time, and Luna wouldn't be surprised if her eyes had been bulging out of their sockets.

She felt like that old toy Will used to have; the one that felt all rubbery and, when squeezed, its eyes and vital organs popped out away from its body a little.

Man, that thing was fun to play with.

Ichigo put a hand on her shoulder, making her jump. Why'd he have to be so much taller than her? "If you see that douchebag, you put at least five bullets in him, got it?"

She nodded with a smile, and he ruffled her hair before standing beside Becs. "Well, we'll be going. Loony, fix your phone."

"So we'll know when you die," Ichigo added cheerfully, making Becs's temple throb. Luna just grinned and nodded. "You'll be the first to know."

As soon as they were out of earshot, Naruto scoffed. "Like hell he is! _I'll _be the first, thank you very much."

Luna sweatdropped. "We're talking about who'll be the first to know if I die...wow. I don't know whether to be amused, flattered, or pissed off."

"I like the first two, but that's just me."

She sighed and shook her head before going back inside, flopping onto the couch. She had done absolutely nothing all day, so why did she feel like she had ran a mile?

Naruto came inside soon after, took one look at her, and nodded. "You need ramen."

"Awww, not now, I wanna take a nap," she groaned.

He rolled his eyes and pulled her up. "C'mon, you big baby. I'm hungry, and you need food. So NEH."

She huffed. "...Fine." Luna waited a little while, then finally said, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"You gonna give me my hand back?" He shrugged. "Naaahhh, I need an extra hand, anyways. Besides, we're dating, remember?"

Luna's temple throbbed. "I _hate _it when you use that against me." Then she brightened. "_Although_, can you imagine how awesome it would be if you had an extra hand?"

"I know, right! I'd need more than one extra hand to count how much I could _do _with that extra hand!"

"And strangely, I understood what you just said!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

Luna sighed inwardly. The sun was almost completely set, and she didn't like it. She felt so uneasy.

"Naruto?"

"Huh?"

"This 'Orochimaru' man...you have met him, yes?"

"Yeah, we all have. Why?"

"...Any idea what he must want with me?"

He had to think about that one. "...Huh...Well, he wanted Sasuke as a sort of host. Mainly since he was the only Uchiha left, besides his brother Itachi. But...I don't know if that's what he wants from you...It'd be kinda awkward to want a _girl _as a host. Then again, I wouldn't put it past that creep..."

Luna sighed for real this time. "This sucks. I _hate _not knowing things that concern me. Actually, I hate not knowing things in general."

"Well, you do know one thing."

"What?"

"You don't have to worry about him."

"What makes you so sure?" She wondered.

He grinned. "I'm here, aren't I?" Luna rolled her eyes, trying not to smile. What an idiot, thinking that would make her feel a little less uneasy.

Damn him for being right.

"Oh, how touching. Good to know one of us is happy," a voice said bitterly. The blood drained from Luna's face, and her knees started shaking in response to him.

Alex jumped down from one of the trees to her right, staring at them. His shoes crunched against the dirt, and her pulse quickened with every step. She knew it would be hard when she finally saw him, face-to-face, but that didn't mean she was ready for it.

_Not this soon. Not right now! Whatever happened to his love for dramatic entrances?_ ...Then she realized this _was_, in fact, a dramatic entrance. _Dammit._ Naruto's hand tightened around hers, and she gulped at the dark look that crossed Alex's face. Becs was right. He looked so angry...

Luna was the first to break the tense silence with the first rational thought that made its way to her mouth.

"...I guess...we all lost our bets..."


	21. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Back again! Sorry for taking so long. I was battling a virus in my computer, a virus in my body, AND my grandmomma just got released from ICU Thursday.**

**But anyway. The highly-anticipated confrontation! Hope it isn't too disappointing! Haha read, review, enjoy! :D**

* * *

Alex's gaze roamed over her face, down her body, then back up to her and Naruto's linked hands.

"...And you call _me_ a traitor."

"Excuse me?"

"So you've sank that low, huh? Screwing a demon kid? I really _did_ mess you up, Luna." Her eyes narrowed. "Not everything's about 'screwing'. I tried to tell you that, but I guess you listen about as well as _he_ does."

"Hey!"

"Shut up, Naruto."

Alex folded his arms across his chest, assessing her. "Any chance I could talk to you? Alone?"

"Not a _damn_ chance," Naruto answered for her, making her stomp on his foot. "OW!" Luna sighed. "Go over there, please."

"No way, are you fricking insane?"

She looked up at him urgently. "Please, Naruto. Over there. Please." He stared at her for the longest time before nodding, squeezing her hand briefly before letting go.

He glanced over at Alex. "Try anything, you're _dead_." Alex scoffed. "Whatever, kiddo." Luna rolled her eyes, she couldn't help it; even after death, Alex still loved to rub in the fact that he was seventeen.

He looked back at her, smiling slightly. "I missed you."

"I'm sure you did."

"I know you missed me, too."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"That's why you're acting like this," he replied matter-of-factly, leaning towards her. "You just don't wanna _admit_ that you did. Why would you? I'm a _traitor_."

Luna swallowed hard. "I-I'm acting like this because quite frankly, I have a huge urge to shoot you in the head right now."

* * *

Alex laughed, shaking his head. "Ahhh, you and your threats. Anyone other than me should definitely take them seriously. ...But you and I both know when it comes to me, your threats are empty as your stomach most days in the Agency."

She blinked in response. "What do you want from me, Alex."

"For you to see things our way."

"Who's 'our'?"

"My friend and I."

"Which would be...who?"

"I'll tell you if you join us."

"Oh, really now? And why would I wanna do that?" He gestured at Naruto, who was leaning against a tree a few yards off, watching intently.

"Don't you know what he did? What that damn demon DID?"

Luna nodded. "In fact, I do. That damn demon killed my father. That damn demon's behind my massacre of the Sasakis. As for Naruto...why, the only thing momentous that he's done is introduce me to Pop-Tarts."

Alex's anger was boiling. She could tell by the way his muscles kept tensing and untensing, especially the ones in his jaw. There were a couple times where those fast-working muscles had helped her on the job once or twice, on the rare occasions where she met a Target that had strength up to par with her own.

But that was then, and this was now. Now those muscles and reflexes spelled weakness and death if she wasn't careful. She wasn't stupid enough to think she could take him in the face of his anger. He was enough of a match for her on a good day.

It made her knees feel even weaker, thinking about having to go against him again. He shook his head, snapping her out of it. "I can't understand it. How can you live with yourself? How can you let that damn monster get away with what he's done to you? Huh?"

"What do _you_ care?" She snapped. "You don't care about me; you never have. I was your link into the Agency; I gave you every detail you needed. And I was your entertainment, your little pastime, until it came time to try and infiltrate it for real. Nothing more."

"Is that what they told you?"

"No. That is what I was smart enough to figure out on my own. It's just a shame I found out _after_ I fell in love with you, but that's quite alright, 'cause it looks like it still came in handy. It's good to know all that, because it makes it easier to tell you NO. ...And do this," she added before flipping him off, waving her middle finger around mockingly.

And man, did it feel good. He apparently didn't like it nearly as much. Those eyes of his, those green eyes she used to stare at without even thinking about it, flashed even more. Something they used to never do to her of all people.

"Listen, you little – why do I even bother with that approach...Look, you may hate me, and I completely understand why you would, but...how can I get this through to you...for the sake of your dad, for the sake of the damn Sasakis, and Will, his parent's memories...kill the Jinchuuriki. Kill the demon."

She stared at him, and he kept right on going.

"That's the whole reason the Agency made you protect him, you know. They had nothing to lose. They want to keep you to themselves, because of your abilities as a born citizen of Konoha. Either you fulfill your assignment and hopefully never learn of your dark past, which keeps you 'satisfied' with life at the Agency...or...you give in to that dark desire that anyone else in your position would have."

"You _kill_ Naruto, and they use it against you. They keep you working for them, and protect you from the authoritites here, and keep your record clean. And if you _don't_ kill Naruto, you still get persecuted once you find out about your crime against the Sasakis, or you'll be forced to stay with the Agency to avoid persecution. Either way, you're royally fucked-over, Luna."

* * *

She processed what he said quickly, rationalizing it in her fast-working mind. It made perfect sense; it explained so much.

And that's what scared her. Because she _wanted_ to give in. She _wanted_ to get rid of that reminder once and for all.

She was like Mayella Ewell in "To Kill A Mockingbird"; she had to push that reminder of her crimes away from her.

And Naruto made the perfect Tom Robinson. Except, you know...in this case he reminded her that she was responsible for the death of her family. Because it was quite simple to see it was. Was it Naruto's fault that she wasn't mentally strong enough to resist the urges Snake Man instilled within her once gaining control? That she wasn't mentally prepared to resist, allowing Snake Man to gain control in the first place?

Absolutely not.

Even if it _was_ from Alex's mouth, it was good to know that wanting to kill Naruto was a common desire for those put in her position. It had to be, just had to be, for someone like her. Right?

Right?

"Kill him. Bring your family justice. Bring _Will's _family justice. All it takes is one bullet, maybe two. Do it now, he won't suspect a thing. I can get you away from the scene in less than ten seconds, Luna. No one has to know. They don't deal with guns here, either, so...literally, they won't know what hit him. And...y'know, do it for us. I hate how it ended, honest. I...I would've seriously run away with you if I could've. You kinda shot me too quick for that, though. But that's okay. I forgive you...because I kinda deserved it...and, y'know, I love you. Dammit, you may not believe me, but I did. I loved you; always have. Always will. And I don't wanna see you suffering like this, constantly having to see...see..._that _over there. To always remind you about something you should've never had to go through."

Though she hated to admit it, she seriously considered it. Luna gazed at Naruto as he twirled his ever-present kunai between his fingers, eyes on his hands after sensing their conversation was reaching a rather private point during which he shouldn't be staring.

She could do it. She'd hit harder targets. It'd be so simple to end his life.

But...

But.

There's always a but.

This time, it was a _huge_ but.

Luna swallowed hard before answering, shaking her head. "Alex, believe me when I say I am sorry. But that is _not_ an option. Not now, not later, not then, not ever. I will never stoop so low as to end the life of an innocent human being for my own mind's sake; especially not one as talented, or powerful, or influential, or wonderful as Naruto Uzumaki. Nor will I let anyone else try to, either."

Now he was really angry, and her gun was already out and aimed at him before he cocked his. That softness in his eyes when he talked about how much he had loved her was completely gone now, and replace by something unbelievably terrifying: bloodlust. "You...You dumb bitch! What's your damn problem? Huh? Can't do _anything_ right, _can_ you?"

Before either of them could fire the first shot, Naruto shunpoed behind Alex, a kunai pressed against his neck.

A shadow clone appeared at his side, rasengan at the ready. And both Narutos looked royally pissed off.

"Listen, douchebag. You've got a lotta nerve showing up here. Do you realize what you've done to her? All the shit you've put her through? She's too worried it'll be _you_ when someone calls her, she'll wake me up in the middle of the night when she cries in her sleep, begging you not to hurt her, and all that's bad enough. But worst of all..."

His fist was clenched so tight around his throwing knife that blood trickled down his hand. Luna was stunned speechless, and it looked like Alex was, too, for the time being.

"Worst of all...it's damn near impossible for her to really trust _anyone _anymore! I know what that's like; not having much of anyone to count on, and scared to start trying. It's hell, pure hell. And Luna Sasaki is the last person that should have to go through that. And then, after all that, you have the nerve – no, that's too flattering – the _stupidity_, to call her a dumb bitch? YOU'RE the dumb bitch, thinking you could get away with all that once I finally got to meet the sorry bastard she trusted so much! Someone should kill you. Someone should kill you, _again_, right where you stand. But I won't be the one. I won't be the one..."

His clone disappeared, and he started to lower his kunai. Suddenly, with a growl, he summoned chakra at the last second and kicked him in the gut, much like Sakura. Seeing Naruto of all people do that, making Alex skid across the ground and his body hit a wall, was definitely a new experience for her. According to Sakura, to hit things with chakra took a great amount of control, and good reflexes to be quick enough to apply it at the very last second.

"The _hell _I won't!"

* * *

Luna gasped, the only reaction she could really do at the moment, and gripped her gun tighter. She was almost scared to shoot; Naruto and Alex were currently struggling, rolling around on the ground, and she was downright terrified she'd hit the wrong guy.

She would've helped if she could move.

"Get the hell off me, you psychotic freak of nature!" Alex shouted, punching him in the gut.

Naruto brought his leg down on his knee, and she heard the sickening _**SNAP**_. Luna winced, but Alex seemed to not even feel it.

Almost like...he was a walking corpse...

"Big words for such a dumbass!" Naruto shouted back, grabbing the rogue Agent by the neck. Suddenly, Alex bit Naruto's hand rather hard, startling him enough to be able to flip the ninja off of him and cock his gun, aiming for his head.

"Don't," Luna squeaked. "DON'T!" she repeated – screamed, really. An echoing _**BANG**_ was heard, then nothing but dead silence. Naruto staggered to his feet, coughing and looking at Luna in disbelief. She shot again for extra measure, striking him in the shoulder.

Her hands started trembling terribly, and her gun clattered to the ground. Blood was already pooling rather heavily from the wound in Alex's head as he fell face-first to the ground.

Luna raised her trembling hands to her eye level as she slid to her knees, staring at them as if she could see his blood on them. "I...I did it. I killed him. Again...?"

The blood pounded in her head again, and for a few moments, she relived that infamous night in her mind.

"_Alex, dude, just come with us!" Will practically pleaded as the rogue Agent dove behind another wall._

_Becs and Luna exchanged worried looks. Something told them this wasn't going to end well for any of them._

"_We can get you a fair trial! Hell, we could just relocate you to some sort of sentence-alternative camp instead of giving you hard jail time! ...What about my sister? Huh? You really wanna do this to her?"_

_No response._

_Luna sighed. "Alex...please. Stop, just come with us. Dammit, Alex, are ya even listening?"_

_Becs sighed again, cocking her gun threateningly. "Dammit, you Americans are too soft. Alex, you bloody bastard, making me run in these heels! If you don't come out in thirty seconds, I've got five rounds with your name on them!"_

"_..."_

"_..."_

"_...Fifteen...seventeen...twenty-three..." They heard shuffling, and it echoed rather loudly in the warehouse they had chased him into._

_Luna was still hoping it was just a case of mistaken identity. It couldn't have been Alex who was helping flush the Agency and devastate America's best line of defense. Couldn't be; he loved her...didn't he?_

_He appeared a few yards away, staring at them sullenly. Almost...emotionless. And he still looked emotionless as he shot a bullet straight into Will's shoulder._

"_Will!" Luna screamed, dropping to her knees beside him to try and stop the bleeding. On the plus side, Alex hadn't grazed an artery; less chances of Will bleeding out._

"_You bastard!" Becs shouted, dodging his bullets and shooting some of her own. He didn't aim for Luna, and selfish as it sounded, that gave her a little inkling of hope._

_Maybe he was just trying to defend himself because he thought he couldn't trust THEM anymore. _

_Yes._

_That had to be it. Had to be._

_Becs sat behind the heavy crate of cargo to their left, panting. "Loony, I'm outta bullets. You...You'll have to take this one. Take...Take him out."_

_The blood drained from her face, and her hands started shaking. "...W-What? Becs, please, you can use my gun! Here!"_

_She shook her head stiffly. "I don't know how to use yours, it's different from mine! I...I'm sorry, Luna. It's gotta be you."_

"_But...I...This...Please!" She practically sobbed. Will squeezed her hand tightly. "Luna...it'll be okay. Just aim and close your eyes. Okay?" Luna bit her lip. She had to do what Will said; he was all she had left, at the end of the day. Alex knew that, and he had shot him anyway._

_Thinking about it, she decided that was a good enough sign that he didn't care about her as much as he seemed to make her believe. And considering all the evidence Tara's superiors had briefed them all with just mere minutes ago..._

"_O-O...Okay...I...Okay." Luna stood, her whole body shaking as she slowly raised her gun. Alex's eyes widened. "You can't be serious. C'mon, Luna, you and I both know you can't kill me."_

_She cocked her gun._

"_Hey, wait. Wait! I thought you said you loved me! I've loved you since I met you! It's just you and me, okay? Don't even think about anyone else, just you and me. We can...we can run away. You never have to kill another person again. Including me. ...Please!"_

_Luna fired, aiming for his head; she was glad she missed. He grabbed the side of his face though, hissing in a breath. "Dammit, that almost got me!"_

_He was bleeding; it didn't upset her as much as she thought it would. Probably because he shot her brother._

_Luna raised her gun again, and Becs nodded comfortingly. "Focus, Loony. You can do this. I know you can."_

_Alex looked like he was gonna cry; she knew it was at least a little fake, she had cried on cue before, and it was a whole lot more convincing than that._

"_Please...I love you, Luna. Always will. You don't have to do this."_

_She closed her eyes, and pulled the trigger. The **BANG** seemed to echo in the warehouse, and so did the two **BANGS** after that, one of them hitting against a crate of cargo._

_Luna didn't open her eyes immediately. Rather, she did it slowly, as if scared she had missed again and he was going to kill her on the spot._

_He was on his knees, coughing and sputtering as blood dribbled from his mouth. The cargo she had hit was split open, packaging material falling out everywhere. "This...isn't over...I'm not finished with you yet, Luna...I...love you..." And with that, he fell flat on his face. It made everything hit her at once. All the time they'd spent together, all the times they'd laughed together, cried together, worked together...all gone. By her own hand. And it was never coming back._

_He was never coming back._

"_...I love you too," she sobbed, Becs putting her arms around her shoulders tightly._

"_It had to be done, Loony...It's not your fault."_

* * *

"'It had to be done, Loony,'" Luna repeated to herself, still staring at her hands. "'...It's not your fault.'"

Naruto's shoes suddenly came into her line of vision, and he crouched down to her level. He was bleeding at the corner of his mouth and forehead, and looked scratched up in general.

There was going to be a bruise on the side of his face, and probably a few on his arms and legs.

Luna was unharmed. And he asked her, "Are you okay?". It made her laugh a little, and she shook her head as she let her hands relax on her knees. "Probably not."

"Loon, I'm so sorry you had to...y'know, kill your ex-boyfriend. Again." She continued to look at the ground, using her peripherals to make sure he wasn't leaving.

He sighed and picked her up, putting her gun in his pocket. "Home it is."

* * *

She cried herself to sleep. It was almost funny; she had tried to cry as stealthily as possible, hoping he wouldn't feel her sobbing against him.

How Luna thought she could pull _that _off was beyond him. He maneuvered her so he could grab his house keys before realizing she had them; she had been the only one who remembered to grab them off the counter.

Naruto dug around in the closest pocket; figured it wouldn't be in that one. He shivered when he grazed the button to her jeans, trying to reach the other pocket. He had just grabbed the keys when Luna shifted in his arms, turning away from him.

He caught her right before she rolled out of his grip, and sweatdropped before shaking his head and unlocking his front door.

He carried her all the way to her window seat and set her down gently before running to find something to eat.

So of course he had just found something when there was frantic knocking on his door. Naruto groaned and slammed down his can of Reddi-Whip before stomping over and opening his door.

"Naruto! Thank goodness!" Sakura exclaimed. "Where's Luna?"

His temple throbbed. "...Asleep. At least, she was. Then you showed up." Sakura sighed with relief, still wearing her usual hospital gear.

As in those weird gloves they make you wear, which were blood-stained, and her hair still tied up out of her way. "Just checking. The way he was yelling..."

"The way _who_ was yelling?"

"The boy they brought in a few minutes ago. Some kind of tiny, round metal thing was lodged into him...in his shoulder..."

Naruto paled. "Was his name Alex, by any chance?"

Sakura shrugged. "Could be. He never gave a name." She narrowed her eyes. "You and Luna know anything about him?"

"N-No."

"Oh. Okay. Of course you don't. Hey, did you hear those bangs earlier? It wasn't long before someone found him laying there...I wonder if his attacker made those bangs...but anyway, he was shouting about he was going to 'kill that demon kid and damn Luna if it was the last thing he did'."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Wanna try telling me you weren't there again?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but started laughing nervously instead. "S-See, what had happened was...me and Loon were, um...uhhh...making out! Yeah, we were making out...and, um, we were in a dark alley near where we heard the big bangs, but we figured it was Choji getting mad at someone calling him fat again and just went on home! Yeah!"

"Really?"

"No. Well, we _were _making out in a dark alley, but...Luna was all like 'Ohhhh, Naruto, do that again,' and I was like 'Awesome!' and then Luna accidentally stepped on that Alex guy's shoe, and he got all mad, and she hit him with a plank of wood after he called her a floozy! ...Yeah. That's what REALLY happened. But the other story was a little less embarrassing, don'tchya think?"

Sakura sweatdropped, but it disappeared quickly enough once they heard sniffling. "Naruto?" Luna called out almost fearfully.

Naruto looked at Sakura, who just nodded slowly. "...I'll just pretend I totally believe that crappy story. For her sake. You better go check on her; the way that guy was shouting about you two...It gave Tsunade and I chills...and you _know _that's saying something."

Naruto just nodded, and she shut the door behind her as she left. He walked quickly towards his room, opening the door to see her sitting up with her knees drawn up tightly.

Her eyes were still red, and there were still tear marks on her face. How she thought she was sneaky when it came to crying was still way beyond him.

"Hey, Loon."

* * *

She looked over at him, making her hair fall across the side of her face that was facing him. "H-Hi."

"You called?"

"Just...making sure you were still here."

Naruto decided telling her that somehow that douchebag survived getting shot in the head wasn't a good idea for the moment, and he settled with walking over to her instead, crouching next to her.

"You sure you're okay?" Luna nodded stiffly, swallowing hard. Naruto nodded and stood up. "Guess you won't mind if I go out for a little while, then..." She grabbed his wrist. "Wait!" She blurted.

He couldn't help but roll his eyes while his back was still to her. She actually thought he'd leave her by herself after something like that?

Kind of insulting.

He turned to look at her, and wished he hadn't. Luna was giving him the most vulnerable and pleading look he'd ever seen. "Please don't leave me alone. ...Please..."

He sighed and grabbed her. "Fine then." Luna looked confused, and even more confused when he plopped her onto his bed.

"What the hell do you think you're-" She didn't finish her sentence, gaping at him as he crawled over her to the other side.

"I'm not leaving you alone, but I'm sure as hell not sitting by that window seat all night. It won't kill ya to lay here, will it?"

Luna shook her head slowly, and he pretended not to notice as she shoved that necklace down her shirt.

Funny; she thought he hadn't caught on by now.

Naruto waved the covers up and down spastically. "Jeez, Loon! Not in here thirty seconds and you're already hoggin' the covers!"

She laughed despite herself, and laughed even harder when he used the covers as an excuse to pull her closer to him. "You must think I am really stupid, Naruto."

"Sure do."

"...Naruto?"

"Yep?" He replied, already feeling his eyes getting heavier.

"...Thank you. I am just sorry he hurt you."

His grip around her waist tightened protectively, plopping his head against her collarbone. "Don't be. I got hurt so you wouldn't. ...Physically, anyways. I'm sorry, but that whole scenario was just kinda fucked-up."

"Agreed," she replied with a yawn, making him nearly jump in surprise when her hand roamed up to his, the one laying across her stomach. "I'm just glad it's over. I don't think I could take another encounter like that..."

Crap. That made him hold her tighter, which probably confused her. He was groaning miserably on the inside, definitely not looking forward to telling her about Alex surviving...again.


	22. Allergies, Bombs, & Deadlines

**Back! Sorry for the wait, but I'm back now! **

**Well, not much to say- OH! Happy late Thanksgiving to you all! ^^**

**Well, NOW I don't have much to say, so...**

**Read, review, review some more, and ENJOY! :D**

_**

* * *

**_

_**I still feel it. I still...feel him. Almost like that song by Anberlin: "Do you still feel him, calling in the air tonight?".**_

_Luna hoped against hope she was just paranoid, and that Alex was finally dead. But like that would happen._

_She wasn't too surprised when her stupid sixth sense kicked in, and decided now was a good time to show her exactly what she'd rather be in the dark about; Alex's whereabouts .__It looked...almost like the outside of the hospital in Konoha. But there was no way **that **waswhere he was. __There was no way **that **waswhere he was escaping from, wounding people left and right. In his desperation, he wasn't paying any attention to who he was hurting._

_He was just shooting kunai after kunai at whoever got in his way. Luna felt her fists clenching as a mother comforted her child, who had been cut across the side of their face from a throwing knife whizzing past._

_**This isn't right. What about those ANBU guys Sakura mentioned? I thought this was a village of ninjas! Why the hell are people not fighting? **__**...More importantly...why am I just standing here?**_

"_ALEX!" Luna shouted, running after him. To her surprise, he jumped at her shout. If that was the reason, though, he didn't let on._

_She summoned chakra to her feet, speeding up until she was hot on his heels, then screamed his name again._

"_Alex, you bastard, stop and lemme kill you again!"_

_They were now in a wooded area. His pace slowed, realizing he was free. Luna noticed with a bright red flush coming to her cheeks that he was wearing a hospital gown. __**Thank goodness I am facing his front...**_

_As she spoke, she noticed goosebumps sprang up onto Alex's skin almost instantly. "Hm. Since this is my vision, I believe I can do whatever I want. Yes? Good, I knew you'd see it my way, Mr. Sharpe." And with that bizarre statement, Luna reared back her fist and punched him in the face._

_He went down, looking scared for a moment. Then he started laughing, standing up and wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth. _"_I know that punch. I've winced every time I saw you give that punch to someone, too. I figured you'd catch up to me one way or another."_

"_Did you now?" Luna asked. She hadn't been expecting an actual answer._

"_I knew you would because of one simple and obvious fact that you just can't seem to admit. ...We're bound to each other now, y'know. No matter where you go, what you do, who you replace me with, I'll still find my way back to you. Just like your heart's always gonna bring you right back to me," he explained simply._

"_Don't flatter yourself," she growled. She shook her head at him. "I used to be so in love with you. Then I felt betrayed by you. Then I was ashamed to have ever known you. I was scared of you for a long time, too. But now...I'm just sick and tired of you!" she shouted, tears pricking to her eyes._

_It seemed he didn't hear her. He was currently looking around with curiosity. "Huh, I wonder if she's still here..."_

"_I'm right here, stop mocking me!" she fumed before realizing he was serious. She sighed heavily, shaking her head._

_The one time she finally was able to put her deepest feelings for someone into words, and they hadn't heard a single word. That figured. It also sucked. Majorly. Alex looked around some more before walking backwards towards the other end of the woods._

"_You can't protect him forever, you know. I'll be back, and so will Orochimaru! He says he misses your company," he sneered before running off._

"_...What? Since when do I know this Orochimaru man? Naruto and the others have encountered him, not me..."_

_Luna shook her head quickly and ran after Alex, wanting to find out where he was hiding. As she tried to catch up to him, ninjas whizzed past her in weird masks and uniforms. She decided they must have been ANBU, and tried to get ahead of them so she could give Alex some punishment of her own. __She was beyond fear and apprehension for him at this point; now it was all about her rage at the man he'd become. _

_Luna and a couple of the swifter ANBU members had managed to keep him in sight as they made their way out of the woods, coming to a barren area, and were only a few yards away from him when she noticed a blinking red light nearby._

_It was blinking periodically, as if in warning. As she got closer, she heard the clicking noises and gasped in horror as the ANBUs bent down to inspect it. __He had brought a bomb with him to Konoha? "No, don't-"_

_Too late. There was a brilliant white flash, complete with a roaring sound. The next thing she knew, the white light turned into a fiery cloud, brushing against her face, burning away the flesh, boiling her alive-_

* * *

"NO!" Luna screamed, shooting straight up with wide eyes. Naruto jolted awake to her right as she tried to catch her breath, making noises that sounded like crosses between sobs and pants. She was covered in sweat, and her pulse was pounding so fast in her head, chest, and wrists that she was seriously scared her veins would pop right out of her. Gruesome, but she couldn't help it. Then again...considering she had just seen her face get burned off, maybe it wasn't so gruesome after all.

"...Loon, the hell's wrong with you?"

_That can't be real. That can't have been real, no, not at all. He died. I watched him. I watched him die, he's dead, he died dammit! ...I have to know. I have to know for sure. I have to!_

Luna suddenly turned to look at Naruto, grabbing him by the shirt. "Alex is dead. He's dead. I killed him...didn't I? HE'S DEAD, RIGHT?" she sounded almost hysterical at this point, no wonder he looked unsure on how to answer her.

"...Oh. Right. Um, listen, last night Sakura came by and said they were treating him at the hospital..." he trailed off as she let her face fall into her hands, and she shook her head.

"Keep going."

"Well, they were treating him at the hospital, and he was conscious, and...apparently there _wasn't _a bullet in his head."

"Naruto, I saw that bullet connect with his skull. I _saw _it!"

"I know, I know! I saw it too. But...it's not there _now_."

Luna stayed in that position for a really long time. She felt his hand slide onto her shoulder, and she jerked away, swinging her legs over the bed as she adjusted her shirt. "I gotta go see."

"WHAT?"

"Naruto, if he's _not _there, people are going to die!" she snapped, hopping into her jeans and fumbling with the button after zipping them up.

"Wait, slow down. What makes you say that?"

She sighed impatiently, running for the door and not bothering with shoes. "No time. I'll be back." He reached the door before her and blocked it with his hand, giving her a glare much like the one she was giving him. "Luna, don't be stupid. Tell me what's going on."

Luna could've sworn she heard yelling a little ways off, and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't wanna do this."

"Do what?"

"THIS," she shouted before Falcon Punching him away from the door. "Dammit, get your spy ass back here!" he shouted as she ran off, sprinting towards the hospital. When she got within ten feet of the hospital, she looked around frantically. People were looking angry and confused. Sakura was leading the mother and child from her dream into the hospital; blood was all over the mother's shirt from where she'd been embracing her daughter.

Luna ground her feet against the rough gravel, skidding to a stop. "No...No, not already...!" she said with a wild shake of the head, abruptly changing directions and running towards the wooded area she'd followed Alex into mere minutes ago.

Sakura called her name, but she didn't acknowledge her. She just kept running, applying chakra to her stinging feet. Luna's feet felt as if she'd found and broken every stick in the woods, but she didn't care. She was _going _to save those ANBU.

_Alex, you won't be killing anyone on my watch. Absolutely not._ "Luna?" Sakura called out, making her trip over a branch.

"Owww," she groaned before hopping up.

"She's over there!"

"Loon, where're you going?"

She stopped as she heard that roaring noise, paling terribly. "No..."

"What was that?" Sakura wondered.

"A bomb," Luna said simply. She sighed heavily, hanging her head. "Alex planted a bomb. It killed approximately seven ANBU, but luckily it was short-range and was planted in a barren area. No forest fires should be started or anything of that sort."

"H-How...he...what? Dead? ...What?" Sakura asked, making Naruto sweatdrop.

"I saw it. They're dead. I didn't get a chance to see what direction he ran in from that point on, though. I was caught in the blast as well."

"But...you're right here..." Naruto said slowly.

Luna sighed and shook her head. "I _know that_. But I saw it in my vision, and in my vision I was caught in the blast. ...He just...refuses to die..."

Sakura looked at Naruto, tapping her foot. "Care to tell me _now _that you had nothing to do with his injuries?"

"I already told you, Luna beat him with a plank!"

"NARUTO UZUMAKI, YOU TELL ME WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THIS INSTANT OR-..." Sakura trailed off as hot wind blew against their faces.

Luna didn't feel as regretful as she thought she would. That made her worried; perhaps Ichigo was right, and she was too accustomed to death after all. "...I told you," she said simply before turning around and heading back out of the woods. Naruto and Sakura exchanged a look and ran after her. "Where're you going now?"

"I do not know."

"Loon, calm down."

"I am quite calm, Naruto."

"I know, but...calm down."

Sakura had question marks popping up above her head, and Naruto just shook his head. "She's fine, go back to work."

"Yeah, but she-"

"GO."

Sakura glared at him for a rather long time, but eventually crossed her arms and stomped off. "Giving me orders, the very idea...!" Naruto sighed and shook his head before running to catch up with Luna. Her and her damn formality.

* * *

Luna was already far ahead, hoping he'd just go away and let her be alone. But like hell THAT was going to happen. "Hey, Loon, wait up!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"That's alright, I've already caught up."

"So I see."

"Will ya at least look at me?"

"No I shall not."

"Why?"

"Because my eyes are stinging."

"You got somethin' in 'em?"

"Maybe. It could always be allergies or...or something."

"They're watering, I can see it from here."

"They are? How odd."

"Are they watering because you're crying?"

"Crying? I do not cry. I am not a little girl, and crying is _for _little girls."

"Is it?"

She nodded quickly, wiping her nose distractedly. "Yes. But_ I am not a little girl_. I am tough. I am very tough. I am a rock, metaphorically speaking. In fact, I have no feelings. I am emotionless. Yes...emotionless. That sounds nice, doesn't it? Having no emotions."

"Everyone has emotions."

"Not I."

"Yes you. You're crying."

"I am not."

"You're crying-"

"No I am not!"

"Because you know you'll have to go through all that trouble of killing him again-"

"Stop talking."

"And because he just killed at least seven innocent people-"

"I am not cr-"

"Because _you _couldn't stop him. You knew what to do, but couldn't do it in time, and now seven people ar-"

"STOP IT!" she shouted, whirling around to look at him. She couldn't see him very well, her eyes were blurry.

Her eyes were stinging again, and she sniffled, looking down at the ground. "...Allergies. I have allergies. Do you have medicine for that? Some medicine...yes, that always helps. My eyes used to sting like this quite often. They would give me medicine and I would feel much better. I would be in a daze all day long, and I would not be able to walk straight, but it was a nice feeling. Do you have some medicine like that, Naruto? It always helps."

She had the distinct feeling she was rambling, but she was so out of it that she didn't care. It almost felt like at the Manor, when she felt like her sanity was slipping away. Only this time, it was her rationality. She felt vulnerable, tired, and quite frankly she felt all-around ill. She could still feel that hot air on her face, wanting to boil her skin.

Naruto's hands plopped onto her shoulders, and his voice was very close, but she didn't feel like looking to see where the source was. "...You don't need medicine for something like this. You need a TV and lots of Pop-Tarts. I happen to have all that. Okay?"

"Okay."

"But you have to do something for _me _first."

"...What?" she asked suspiciously. If he was choosing NOW to ask her to do something stupid, she was going to kill him. And she would NOT develop allergies for doing so.

"You have to dry your eyes, stop worrying about that douchebag, stop feeling guilty about what he did, and smile- and mean it- at least once today. Or else no deal. ...Can you do that?"

She shook her head slowly. "No. I probably cannot. But I shall try for the Pop-Tarts." He laughed and tightened his grip on her shoulders, pushing her towards home. "Good enough for me."

After they started walking, he frowned. _...What the hell kind of medicine did they give her?_ He couldn't help but grin though. _Allergies, huh? I shoulda used that excuse when I was little...! Damn! I wish I had thought of that sooner!_

**_

* * *

_**

**_MEANWHILE_**_**...**_

Tara slowly opened her phone, clearing her throat. "Agent Surandon."

Her superior's cold voice grated against her ear almost immediately. _"Hello, Agent Surandon. I called to ask about the status of The Subject."_

"As far as I know, sir, she has been doing fine. No illnesses thus far due to prolonged exposure to unpurified air. All abilities seem to be performing normally, as doesThe Subject herself."

_"Good. ...Agent Surandon, we cannot hold out on the Allies much longer. They are demanding proof of The Subject's abilities, and we need to know if we can enhance them with our new formulas."_

"I am aware of that, but The Agency must put the needs of The Client and his village first. They shall make strong allies as well, should Orochimaru be eradicated. And there is also the fact that Orochimaru is extremely interested in The Subject and her abilities as well. It is believe he has had her sights on her for years, Sir."

_"We are aware of the situation, but without the support of our Allies, The Agency cannot fund all of our studies. Which prevents scientific progress. Which makes us have a slight disadvantage with our enemies. All of these points do not fare well for any of us, Agent Surandon."_

Tara felt her anger boiling, and curled her hand into a tight fist to resist the urge to lose her cool tone and shout some sense into him. She had never had such strong impulses before Luna and the other young Agents had been put in her care.

"...I understand, Sir, but I cannot just drag her out of Konoha. She has a solid cover established there, and L- ...The Subject will not go willingly, I can assure you of that."

"_Are you saying The Subject has become attached to The Client and Konoha's inhabitants?"_

"Not at all, Sir. I am simply saying she does not abandon a mission, under any circumstances. If you wish to see that The Subject gets assigned back to The Agency, you will probably end up dragging her back in handcuffs."

Tara had meant to make a point, not a suggestion. But the long pause on the other line told her that Luna's arrest was being carefully considered. Her stomach lurched at the thought of how much that would put her through.

_"...Understood, Agent Surandon. Keep us updated on any changes The Subject may undergo."_

"Yes Sir."

_"...And Agent Surandon?"_

"Yes?"

_"A year will be up in less than four months. We need her back in three maximum. ...I cannot guarantee the results will be pleasant for The Subject if she refuses transfer. She will have to undergo intense questioning as to her relationship with The Client and his city."_

"Understood."

_"See to it that does not become necessary."_

"I will to the best of my ability, Sir."

_"Very good. Dismissed."_

She hung up the phone, slamming it down. She realized that her nails had been clenched against her palm so tightly that beads of blood were forming in a couple places. Tara eyed it hungrily, licking the droplets daintily before making herself resist the temptation of sucking the wound dry.

She then completely realized what that conversation had meant, and shook her head slowly. "...Luna, please. Complete your assignment swiftly. Your life might be at stake..."


	23. Pervy Sages, Sasuke's Theory, & Dreams

**Back again! My birthday was Thursday and that's when I finished this, but I never got a chance to upload it. Forgive me! :D**

**Plus I added a bit at the end there. So NEH, problem solved! :P**

**Weelll, read, review, enjoy! :)**

* * *

"So...what'd you do?"

"I went back to work, of course!"

Sasuke sweatdropped. "...You mean...you _listened _to Naruto? You."

Sakura nodded before sighing, folding her arms across her middle. "Yeah. ...Something about the way he said it...something told me I shouldn't ask her about it right then anymore. I mean, she seemed perfectly calm, but...it was..."

"Fake?"

She shook her head. "...No, it seemed real. It was just so...eery. Yeah, eery, that's it. I mean, who would be _calm_ in a situation like that?"

"Apparently Luna would."

She sighed exasperatedly. Sometimes Sasuke, like all other males in Konoha, just didn't understand women. "Sasuke, when a girl acts calm, she's usually upset! And Luna was acting _so_ calm, she...must've been...she must've been devastated. I'm telling you, there's something serious going on between her and that guy that escaped and killed those ANBU. And it won't lead to anything good."

Sasuke's whole expression changed, drew more inward. Sakura knew that expression quite well; he was thinking. Very carefully. He hesitated before leaning towards her a little, almost secretively. "...The other day, when we were seeing that godawful movie?"

She nodded, but her Inner Sakura was ranting and raving about how amazing that movie was and wondering how he could _possibly_ have thought otherwise.

"I overheard part of their stupid argument once we were leaving. He said something about her being an Agent, but then he referred to her 'Super-Spy Skills'. So I'm guessing an Agent is just a term for the people she works for."

Sakura's green eyes were wide, so many possible explanations zooming through her mind. "...So...what...what're you saying? That she's a _spy_? ...For who?"

Sasuke shook his head, causing his jet-black bangs to fall into his face. He flipped them out of his eyes before continuing. "...I'm not sure yet. Orochimaru's a possibility. Maybe even Akatsuki."

Sakura shook her head, as if trying to convince herself. "But it could be a good group. We have spies too, you know. She _could_ be good."

"I don't think so. I've just got a bad hunch over this whole thing. Whoever she's working for...it's gonna cause us a world of trouble."

Sakura shook her head for what had to be the eighty millionth time. She just couldn't believe it. "So...all this time...she's been faking interest in Naruto? In all of us?"

"Probably. It's what they're usually trained for, you know. Being totally emotionless. I mean, look at Sai. He's _still _learning about his emotions."

Sakura's eyes widened even more as it all came together in her mind. It made sense; her sudden appearance, the REAL reason they'd never seen Luna before, why she never showed the slightest interest in going back to her village. If it even _was_ her village.

"But...why Naruto? Why him?"

Sasuke glanced at her. "You're joking, right?"

She sighed. "...It was a rhetorical angsty question. I know damn well why. ...What're we gonna do?"

"I don't have any idea. I guess...we should just keep a careful eye on her for now, but...eventually we're going to have to out her. Alerting Tsunade would probably be best. Until then, we'll just have to beat her at her own game and pretend that we're completely innocent, totally clueless to her real intentions."

Sakura sighed again, shoving her hands into her pockets dejectedly. Five minutes off duty and she was already wishing for more work so she could distract herself. "...Dammit. Damn her for being so likeable."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Hey."

"What?"

"Pass me that Pop-Tart box right there."

"Which one?"

"That chocolate fudge kind."

Naruto picked it up, then peered down into it before sighing and tossing it behind the couch. "Empty."

"Damn. ...Strawberry?"

He grabbed another box, but the same scenario ensued. "Empty."

"Brown sugar cinnamon?"

"Gone."

"Choco chip cookie dough?"

"Yeah _right_! That was the first box we went through!"

"Oh yeah, that's right. Um...just plain choco chip then?"

"Not even crumbs left."

"WHAT'S LEFT THEN?" she fumed, steam practically coming out of her ears. He searched the whole table, which was almost completely covered with Pop-Tart boxes, before sighing and holding up one in particular. "Mint chocolate chip."

"Ewwww, gross! I'M NOT EATING THAT!"

"NEITHER AM I! WHADDA WE DO?"

They tapped their chins thoughtfully, and Luna finally sighed. "...Grocery store?"

"...Dammit."

"I've got the house keys," she said grudgingly, stuffing them into her pocket. The only good news was that while they were there she could get some tampons. She could feel the soreness in her thighs coming, which could _only mean _her period was swiftly approaching.

...But then she realized _Naruto_ was with her, and groaned. He gave her a weird look. "What're YOU groaning about? You emptied my whole supply of Pop-Tarts, and I'M paying for it!"

"YOU ATE SOME TOO!"

"SO?"

"WHADDAYA MEAN 'SO'?"

"...I mean _so_. Jeez, Loon, you feelin' alright? You're acting kinda stupid on me." Her temple throbbed as he felt the sides of her face, swatting his hand away. "Stop touching me and I'll be fine." That just made him grin, and he ruffled her hair.

"Well, in _that _case..."

"Dammit," she muttered, her hair now springing up in practically every possible direction. Some even defying gravity. So what else was she to do but Falcon Punch him?

"WHY'RE YOU SUDDENLY DOING THAT TO ME ALL THE TIME?" he whined from the branches of the tree she'd knocked him into. Luna resisted the urge to laugh. "...New skill. A handy life skill, too, I'd say."

"I disagree."

"There's an app for that."

"A what?"

She shrugged. "I have no clue, to be honest. Ichigo tells me it's from a commercial. He kept saying it on the flight to Tokyo. You know, the city I never got to enjoy because some moron crash-landed there."

"What moron?"

"YOU, you...you...MORON!"

"...Ohhh yeaaahh! That WAS me!" he said suddenly, laughing. Luna waited patiently, counting down from three on her fingers. Right as she got to one and pointed that finger at him, he suddenly stopped laughing and said, "WAIT a minute...! I'm not a moron!"

She laughed the whole way to the store, which seemed to be alright with him.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"This aisle."

"No, it's the next one."

"No, it's _this_ one."

"NOOO, it's the NEXT ONE."

"Luna, I've lived here all my life, I THINK I WOULD KNOW WHICH AISLE POP-TARTS ARE ON!"

"Well, apparently you _don't_, because you're DEAD WRONG! THEY MOVED THEM A COUPLE WEEKS AGO!"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?"

"BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING FOR FLAVOR-BLASTED GOLDFISH!"

"...Pop-Tarts are on _this _aisle."

Luna sighed exasperatedly, grabbing both sides of his face and swerving his head to look down the aisle. "Look. Take a GOOD LONG LOOK. ...Do you see any Pop-Tarts?"

"I can't tell, everything has about the same pattern down there."

She sighed exasperatedly again and pointed at the signs indicating what was on each aisle. "Alright, then read THAT. Do you see Pop-Tarts or breakfast food on there?"

"...Nooo..."

"Then it's on the next aisle, _LIKE I SAID_!"

"WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE, YOU COULD BE WRONG JUST LIKE ME!"

Luna rolled her eyes and was about to shoot something back, but then they heard a giddy and slightly-creepy gasp from the next row.

They exchanged a look before looking around them. "Psst! Naruto!"

They both looked (and sweatdropped majorly) at a box of baking soda as it slid backwards into the next aisle, and a face of a man with shaggy white hair poked out in its place. He was grinning like crazy. "Doth my ears decieve me, or did I hear your voice shouting with a _lllaaadyyy's _voice?"

Luna leaned towards Naruto. "You hear that? He called me a LADY," she muttered in a superior tone, making his temple throb. "Yeah...she's...my girlfriend."

His head disappeared, making them both sweatdrop. He then skidded around the corner of the aisle before glomping them both. "GAH! NO WAY! MY LITTLE APPRENTICE IS ALL GROWN UP, WITH A FEMALE THAT CAN TOLERATE HIM AND _EVERYTHING_!"

"...Well, I dunno about THAT," Luna muttered. She felt someone stomp on her foot, so she kicked their shin. As she had predicted (and hoped), Naruto held his shin with a groan. The man pulled away, and her head started hurting. Something about him...gave her a headache? _Wow, I thought that was Naruto's job._

"Well? Aren't you gonna tell me what her name is?"

"I'm-"

"Luna, Pervy Sage, Pervy Sage, Luna," Naruto replied, making both their temples throb.

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME ALL THE TIME, DAMMIT!"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT, YOU'RE RUINING MY FANTASTIC FIRST IMPRESSION ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

Naruto sweatdropped. "...Welcome back."

Pervy Sage instantly brightened, lowering his fist and striking a confident and slightly-heroic pose. "I _knew _you'd miss me. And I'm sure Luna here will feel the pain as well when I leave the _next _time! ...Wait...wait, wait, WAIT...You can't be THAT Luna."

They both sweatdropped as he got out a measuring tape and made quick, spastic circles around her. "Hmm...same height, same proportions, same CHEST SIZE, even! ...YOU'RE KIERA'S DAUGHTER! ...Except for your eyes. Those're-"

"Mitsuru's, we know," Naruto answered impatiently. Pervy Sage blinked. "...Ah, so Tsunade recognized her too, then?"

Luna shook her head. "No, but Minato and Iruka did."

His jaw dropped. "...W-WHAT? Minato? That's not possible!"

The two teens exchanged a sigh, realizing they had a lot of explaining to do. "Can we discuss this AFTER we reach the Pop-Tart aisle?" Luna asked, making them both sweatdrop.

He shrugged. "If we must. It's about three aisles down." Naruto started laughing, pointing at her triumphantly. "Ah-HA! I TOLD YOU YOU WERE WRONG!"

Cue a Falcon Punch. "YOU WERE TOO, DUMBASS!"

Pervy Sage sweatdropped. "...Did you study under Tsunade, too?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind, just...nevermind."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"...And then we came back, fertility scroll in hand. That's the way it was," Naruto concluded. Luna had remained silent the whole time as Naruto weaved this whole story about how it had all started trying to find a fertility scroll, and was worried if she added to it, she'd ruin the story's effect.

...Although she did make _one_ major correction. "..._I_ did most of the fighting, not you," she said dully.

"DID NOT!"

"DID SO!"

"I DID ALL THE _CARRYING_, AND WITH HOW OFTEN I WAS CARRYING YOU AROUND, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE MUCH _TIME_ TO DO ALL THE FIGHTING!"

"YOU WANNA SEE THE BATTLE SCARS, UZUMAKI?"

"...Well, _duh_."

Her temple throbbed, eye twitching. "Not like that, pervert!"

Jiraiya smirked. "Fertility scroll? The hell were you getting that for?"

"Luna wanted my babies."

She turned bright red, shouting so loudly it made the hair blow off his face, "I DID NOT, NARUTO UZUMAKIIII!"

"Don't deny it, we all know it's true!"

"It is not! That's a total fallacy, and you know it!"

"But you're talking all fooooor-maaaal, which MEANS I'm right."

"It simply means you're annoying me!"

"I always annoy you and you never go all formal. It's only when I make you NERVOUS that you go all formal, which you do when I'm TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY RIGHT!"

"YOU ARE NOT, YOU NEVER WILL BE, AND THAT'S THAT!" she fumed, temple throbbing menacingly. He simply snickered to himself. Jiraiya had sweatdropped during their little outbursts, but now he shook himself quickly. "...Well. So you got to see Minato and Kushina, huh? They have anything to say?"

Luna was about to say something, but then Naruto said something first. "Mom tried to figure out where the hell dad was the whole time while trying to convince anyonye who would listen that we were madly in love or something, then her and dad met up and they had a little fight before watching Luna as she beat the crap out of me. They cheered her on, too. It was...very depressing," he muttered, drooping further and further with every word.

Jiraiya and Luna sweatdropped, and he sighed before standing up. "Well, kiddies, I'd love to stay some more, but it appears I have more work to do. I'll see you two soon."

He then glomped them again, making them both squawk in surprise. "I KNOW I WAS MISSED! I MISSED YOU TOO, NARUTO! ..._AND _YOU, LUNA!"

He started going all reminsicent on them, cradling his chin with his balled-up fists and swaying around dramatically. "I remember when you were born, you were so tiny, but had a head full of that red hair! And then the first time I held you you looked right at me as if to say 'Master Jiraiya, you're so amazing!' And so I nodded and told you I understood your amazement! And then you pulled my hair and it was painful as hell, so I deduced you'd be one kick-ass ninja, and I was correct! That punch to Naruto was _magnificent_!"

Then he was suddenly snapped right out of it, having crept over to Naruto's money stash and taken a few bills. He ran out the door. "...BYE!"

"YOU BETTER PAY ME BACK, YOU DAMN PERVY SAGE!" Naruto shouted, shaking his fist. Luna cocked an eyebrow. "Where do you suppose he's gonna spend that money?"

"On women. That's what he usually spends it on. Women, food, and looooots of saki."

Luna smiled and shook her head. "So THAT'S where you get your perviness? Oh, who am I kidding, you were BORN perverted."

Naruto opened his mouth to retaliate, but then he sighed. "...Why even _bother _arguing that?"

She yawned and stretched before heading for his room. "Well, I'm off to bed. Night. I'll be thoroughly enjoying your bed."

"HAHAHA! That was funny! ...You...said that like you were...serious...LUNAAAA!"

"A DEAL'S A DEAL!" she shouted back, slamming the door shut in his face and locking it in record time.

"Daaaaammiiiiit!" he shouted, pounding on his door. She giggled mischieviously, undressing rather slowly. It was nice to not have to rush before the pervert saw anything. "I'm naaaaakeeeeed!"

"STOP TEASING ME LIKE THAT!"

"But it's so much fuuuuun," she practically purred. Oh, he was probably having fantasies about _killing _her now.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS**____**LATER**__**...**_

Luna woke up from yet another nightmare about Alex. Only this time, strangely enough, the part that scared her was that he had succeeded in killing Naruto, only...he had controlled her with his mind and made her kill him with her bare hands.

It was absolutely terrifying.

But not as terrifying as feeling something warm right beside her. She nearly shot it; she grabbed her gun off Naruto's nightstand, she _seriously _almost shot him. Luckily, her groggy mind finally realized who it was and she sighed tiredly before setting her gun back down carefully.

She remained sitting up for a second, drawing up her knees and brushing the hair back out of her face. Luna glanced at him with a sweatdrop.

Naruto was currently sprawled out all over his bed, his hand stretching over the space where she'd been laying. It was on her lap now, but his hand _had been _on her waist before she sat up, now that she thought about it.

The rest of him was close to where she'd been laying as well, and he was currently snoring while occasionally muttering random things too quietly for her to hear.

She found herself smiling, and shook herself quickly before laying back down, turning on her side. Luna was almost completely asleep when Naruto's hand moved, grazing her Fox scar. It burned for a split second, and it was while her eyes were still squeezed shut that she heard him mutter her name gently, almost too quiet for her to hear.

Her eyes snapped right open, turning to look at him suddenly. He was still asleep, alright. She could tell by how relaxed his eyelids were, and from his breathing pattern.

"Did I imagine that...?" she wondered. She shook her head slowly, laying back down before deciding there was no way she was going back to sleep.

Luna carefully pried his hand and arm off her, then ended up prying her hand out of HIS hand when he tightened his grip reflexively.

She slid slowly out of his bed, and he almost immediately rolled over, occupying the space she'd just been in and wrapping himself in some sort of cocoon of covers.

Temple throbbing, she slipped her jeans on and some shoes. After some thought, she grabbed her phone as well. Just in case. Luna sweatdropped as Naruto suddenly flung half of his leg out from under the covers, turning over onto his other side almost spastically before letting out another loud snore.

Shaking her head at him, she was about to leave his room when she heard it again. Her name. She turned around, looking around the room, but it was futile.

That voice had been unmistakably his. No ifs, ands or buts. She remembered when he mentioned her saying his name a few times in _her _sleep, and wondered if this had been as devastating to him as it was for her now.

He wasn't supposed to make this so hard on her. How was she supposed to leave once her mission was over _now_?

She wasn't sure she could. Not when hearing him say her name like that made her stomach bubble and warm up like this.

Luna sighed woefully, shaking her head before heading for the front door. "Luna Sasaki, you're gonna be the death of _yourself_ before this is all over," she muttered miserably.


	24. Her Scar, His Secrecy, & Their Anxiety!

**Back again! Yay me! :D**

**I'm hoping to have some sort of Christmasy chapp out at or around Christmas, or at the very latest before New Year's. Until then, enjoy the builder-uppers as the tension rises and rises!**

**Read, review, review some more, and enjooooy! 8D**

* * *

It was kind of chilly, which made sense since it was the middle of the night. Luna stuffed her hands even further into her pockets, her fingers folded against the bottom of the cloth. Usually going out into the cold, splashing her face with cold water, it all made her think more clearly.

But not tonight.

All she could think about was what her next move should be. Alex was out there somewhere, plotting who-knows-what with his "friend". There was more blood on his hands, more blood on _her _hands.

After all the effort she put into pushing him out of her mind, he was still making her so sad. Slightly scared. Worried. He made her heart ache.

And of course, while she was thinking about all this, that damn chakra was throbbing underneath her skin. It was the only really warm part of her, actually. _That _couldn't be a good sign.

"Since when have I ever had a good sign of anything?" Luna wondered with a half-hearted chuckle.

As she walked around Konoha, sticking mainly to the dark shadowed areas, she saw that it was mostly empty.

Except for a few cats running from dogs, or young couples giggling and holding hands as they talked to each other in hushed whispers.

Luna had always liked just sitting somewhere with heavy traffic and watching people pass by. Usually, she didn't have enough time to during her missions, so it was rare when she took part in that weird little joy of hers. She intended to do it once the citizens of Konoha became active again.

It wouldn't be long; some people got up unbelievably early around here. Luna winced for what had to be the eightieth time, the hand in her left pocket automatically went to her left side. The mark the Fox left was a lot more irritable today than usual.

It was almost like an itch that you resisted scratching, but itched so bad it made you twitch. Only this was no itch; it was burning and painful.

She sighed, slowly stuffing her hand back into her pocket and wishing she had grabbed a heavier jacket. She always got cold way too easily for her liking. Luna found herself with the last person she expected to still be up and about at this time of night: Sakura.

She didn't realize who it was, however, until ramming right into them. Luna had had her head down against the wind, trying to think of some sort of strategy to apprehend Alex. The next thing she knew, she had hit someone with her shoulder and they had tripped because of it. "Oh, I'm so sor- ...Sakura?"

The pink-haired kunoichi smiled at her. "Hey there. I'm fine, really," she added as Luna was about to offer assistance. She stood back up with ease, bouncing slightly, and Luna's brows furrowed. "What're you doing out by yourself this late?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Sakura replied in a meaningful tone. Something about her tone made Luna feel threatened. Almost like Sakura was...suspicious of her. A tense moment slipped by between them, and it felt as if even the wind had stopped to watch their stareoff.

"...I was walking back home from work," Sakura added in a clipped tone. "What about you?"

"Walking _away from _home to get some air," she replied in an equally so-calm-it-was-hostile tone.

Sakura tilted her head to the side slightly. "Home? I thought you didn't _live _in Konoha."

"I-I meant Naruto's home. ...Naruto's," she said thoughtfully. She felt a twinge of misery at her own slip-up; if she didn't finish her mission fast, she'd NEVER leave. Speaking of leaving, Luna would give anything to be free of Sakura's gaze at that moment. It felt like the girl could see right through her.

"...Hm. Guess that happens when you're close to someone long enough, huh?"

"Y-Yeah. I guess. Well, I don't wanna keep you hangin' out so late, you must be tired after working this late-" Luna cut herself off with a sharp intake of breath, her hand shooting to her side again. Her eyes squeezed shut; that had been a big one.

None of that, of course, went by Sakura unnoticed. "Are you alright?"

All previous doubt had been removed from the young kunoichi's mind, replaced with concern. Luna winced as the sharp pain subsided. "...I _thought _I was. But I guess this is its way of telling me I'm not. Sakura...I know you just left the hospital, but...I can't trust just _anybody _to give medical attention for this..."

Luna could tell she had piqued Sakura's interest with that last comment, and she nodded quickly. "Good thing you caught me only a few minutes away from the hospital. Let's go, shall we?"

**_

* * *

_**

**_TWELVE MINUTES LATER..._**

"Alright, let's take a look," Sakura said cheerfully as they entered one of the many wards of the hospital. Luna followed her in hesitantly, paling when she realized it wasn't a private room by any means. Almost every bed was occupied. "...Sakura, perhaps you should know what happened _before _you look at it. Can we please go to the furthest bed available?" she asked quietly.

Sakura glanced back at her worriedly; she probably wasn't used to her talking "all formal," considering Luna usually had a good time around Sakura. "...Okay. Go ahead, start explaining."

"I...I am fully aware of what Naruto has inside him. And I am not talking metaphorically, I am being quite literal," Luna said quietly as she sat on the hospital bed furthest from the door. Sakura's face turned serious so fast it was scary, and she shut the little privacy curtain as an old woman peered over at them curiously, straining her neck to see. The curtain whipped around the hospital bed in record time, and Luna gulped in spite of herself.

_I really hope I didn't just screw myself over,_ Luna thought as her pulse pounded. Sakura looked a lot older than fifteen at the moment, standing over her with that solemn and more-than-slightly-intimidating expression.

But all Sakura said was, "Go on."

Luna cleared her throat. "W-Well, uh, during our trip to the Ma- ...to get the s-scroll...there was an incident in which the Fox took over. It got all the way to its Four-Tails State, and I managed to get him back to normal and heal him, obviously, but-"

"You got hit."

"...Yes. I was-"

"Hoping I could help you."

"Y-Yes." Luna was unbelievably nervous. Sakura's whole vibe was making her uneasy a the moment. It was almost as if she were ready to pounce on her at any moment. _Was it something I said?_ Sakura sighed and nodded. "Let's see it." Luna hesitated for just a moment, but slipped her shirt over her head as well as her undershirt. She gestured to her side, and Sakura bent at an odd angle to look since the injury was facing the opposite side of the room.

She ended up falling over in surprise, scrambling to her feet and walking over to Luna's injured side like she probably should've done in the _first _place. "L-Luna, I've...I've never seen anything like it," she breathed, running her fingers over it lightly in awe.

Luna winced, shifting uncomfortably. "Is that supposed to comfort me?"

"Not at all. I...I should probably go get Tsunade."

"WHAT?"

"She'll know what to do! This is _way _beyond my ability, it's..._alive_."

Luna gulped. "A-A...Alive?"

"I'll be right back!" Sakura said quickly, pulling back the curtain-thingy and running out. Luna sighed heavily. "...Great."

**_

* * *

_**

**_FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER..._**

"She's in here," Sakura said, making Luna jump out of her zoned-out state. Tsunade soon strolled in, Sakura in tow.

"So THIS is Luna."

Sakura sighed at Luna's sweatdrop. "She doesn't remember meeting you, she was too drunk."

"I was _ill_!" Tsunade said defensively. She then peered at Luna's face. "...You look rather familiar..." Then she noticed Luna's necklace, and the surprise was written all over her face. "YOU _MUST _BE-" Luna gave her a frantic shake-of-the-head as Sakura closed the privacy curtain, mouthing "I'll explain later".

The older woman eyed her suspiciously, but slowly nodded nonetheless and sighed. "Well, this mark I've been told about? Where is it?" Sakura and Luna pointed to the latter's side, and Tsunade peered down at it. Her head tilted to the side with curiosity, and she sat on her knees for a better look. "Hmmm..._That's _one I haven't seen in a while."

"What is it, Lady Tsunade? Can we heal it?"

Tsunade took a deep breath. "Usually, the Nine-Tailed Fox's chakra either corrodes the skin of the individual or leaves the scorch-like slashes it left on Sakura. With you, however, it's more of a...a...festering scar. Almost as if the chakra is moving within your bloodstream and causing discomfort, but not causing mutations within your blood or killing you."

"_Discomfort_?" Luna repeated with a sweatdrop.

"Compared to dying a slow and painful death, I'd call it _discomfort_, yes."

"Then...what do you suggest be done?" Luna asked, looking at her mark as well. It almost reminded her of the Cursed Tattoo from the Manor of Sleep, the way it was moving idly just beneath the skin like that. Tsunade shook her head. "Well, it does appear as if the wound might be infected. It's inflamed around the edges, just like your normal infected cut. I can probably stop the pain and heal part of the scar, but...the chakra will probably stay within your bloodstream permanently. On the bright side, it seems as if you have something rare."

"Rare?"

"It's almost like you're...well, I wouldn't say 'immune,' but...the chakra doesn't seem to have much of an effect on you. Of course, it obviously pains you more than a bit-"

"I thought she had appendicitis when I first saw her react with it," Sakura said dully. "Not to be rude, Lady Tsunade, but that seems like more than 'a bit'," she continued matter-of-factly.

Tsunade's temple throbbed. "...It obviously _pains _Luna, as I said. But I'd say you're a hella lucky young woman, and Naruto's pretty lucky himself for dating someone with a rare trait like that. Could come in handy quite a bit."

* * *

After about two hours of Tsunade doing her best to heal it, Luna didn't feel any pain at all and the scar had shrunk so that it only covered her side - as opposed to before, when it stretched all the way to the middle of her back. The tiger-stripe shape still remained, though. Tsunade wiped her hands together in a "Job Well Done" kind of way with a sigh. "Ah. There you go, basically good as new."

"You better get going, I'm sure you're tired," Sakura commented cheerfully. Luna nodded, but she was heavily suspicious on the inside. _What a far jump you've made, Sakura. First you were eerily confrontational of me, now you are cheerful. You worry me sometimes, you know that? _

Luna slipped her shirt and undershirt back on and gladly hopped off the hospital bed, her butt dead asleep after sitting on it for two hours in one spot. "Oh, and Luna?"

She turned back to look at the Hokage, really eager to get out of her second-least-favorite place in the world. "Yes?"

"I'll be expecting you later today. Something tells me we're in for a long talk."

Luna gulped in spite of herself; never did she expect two women to make her gulp so much in one night. "Y-Yes, Lady Hokage."

She practically ran out of there once she was out of their eyesight, and didn't stop until she was deep in the busiest section of Konoha. And then she sat on a bench and watched the people pass.

It was still early in the morning, only about five or six-ish, but there were enough people out and about to keep her mind occupied. Luna's job required the ability to look at the plainest person and imagine a whole life story for them; that imagination sometimes came in handy on pinpointing just how dangerous her targets would be, or how to fast-talk superiors.

Yes, her world was one of deceit on ever possible end of the spectrum. But what she liked about it...was that now, she could use that skill for innocent amusement. Sometimes, not even much imagination was necessary, thanks to how honest the people of Konoha tended to be. Konoha was like everything she wanted out of humanity in city form: clean, pure, happy, interlinked...too many good things to count.

Of course, everything had its dark sides, and she knew Konoha probably had some nasty ones here and there. But they trudged on, and there were still good people. Were there good people back in the United States? She wasn't so sure anymore.

Maybe Becs had been right when she told her she had better stop wanting to be on her own and make her own life; maybe if she did that...she'd be even more evil than she already was.

Konoha's beauty was magnified now that everyone was getting ready for Christmas. November had just ended a couple days ago, after all. Luna just wished she knew what to do for Christmas. All she knew was what Naruto had explained about Santa Clause/Saint Nicholas/ Possibly-The-Holy-Cupcake-Jesus, and the concept of mistletoe that Becs had briefly explained while making Luna help her set the odd plant all over the Agency so Will would be obligated to kiss her under every single doorway.

That was right before they first started "dating". Of course, dating for any Agent, whether that other person had been approved by The Agency or not, was unbelievably limited. Might as well not date at all. If anyone knew that, it was Luna and Becs. They had practically bent-over-backwards to date Will and Alex.

Luna found herself laughing after realizing how nonchalantly she'd just referred to Alex, and laughed even more after remembering how much of an epic failure their first "dates" were. After a while, she shut off that complex part of her brain, temporarily forgetting about Alex and The Agency and just focusing on the people in front of her.

Over there to her right, a man was going back and forth with a woman who wanted a special discount on his merchandise. To her left, a group of kids were playing hide-and-seek amongst random boxes and things. Almost out of her line of vision, a young girl was buying her boyfriend a Christmas present. She was telling the saleswoman how much he'd like it.

More children ran by, trying to get to "base". Luna was still fuzzy on the rules of hide-and-seek Will had explained to her, but she still knew that "base" was an object or location in which anyone who touched it could not be tagged. It was safety. It was a haven.

Luna rolled her eyes at herself. _Only **I **could find some deep meaning within Hide And Seek...But still...a safe place would be nice._

She was still watching everyone when she saw Naruto right within the line of her peripheral vision. Luna angled her head slightly to look at him, and for once, he wasn't heading straight for her. Curious, Luna uncrossed her legs, got off the bench, and hid behind a nearby crate. Her brows furrowed. "Why do you look so secretive?" she wondered as he looked around carefully before continuing to wherever the hell he was going.

Luna sighed and proceeded to do something she hadn't done in quite a long time; she tailed him.

**_

* * *

_**

**_TWENTY-FOUR MINUTES LATER..._**

After following him for what seemed like FOREVER (and hiding behind random objects or people whenever he turned around, which was very often), he went into the store in which he bought his heavenly Pop-Tarts. Luna's brows furrowed for what had to be the eightieth time. "The hell's he getting? And why was he all secretive-looking about it? Furthermore, why the hell am I still watching?" she wondered as she came within moments of entering the store.

She decided against it, though; if he was getting something worthy of such secrecy, odds are she didn't really want to know what it was. She shuddered at the thought and turned towards the path leading to Ichiraku's before having a sudden idea.

Konoha had an archive library. It had information on the ninja of Konoha, Konoha itself, and even Akatsuki. Would it have items on Orochimaru as well? And what about the Nine-Tailed Fox? Luna nodded to herself before changing course rather awkwardly in the middle of the street, smiling innocently at the man that had been behind her as he looked at her with a fresh sweatdrop. "Changed my mind," she informed him before running off.

He shook his head and kept going. "Crazy kids..."

**_

* * *

_**

**_MEANWHILE..._**

"I don't know how much longer I can keep quiet about this," Sakura was saying to Sasuke as she continued to file some papers for Shizune, who was showing up late today. "I mean, what if she hurts him? He's already hurt her, maybe he had good reason, right?"

Sasuke nodded. "That's true. You said Naruto didn't remember anything the last time he lost control of the Nine-Tails, right? Maybe he caught her giving information to one of our enemies and he got royally pissed."

Sakura sweatdropped, glancing up from the drawer she was bent over. "Well, that's one way to put it."

He rolled his eyes and handed her the file she had been looking for for the past ten minutes; it had been in plain sight on Shizune's desk. Sakura sweatdropped again, this time at her own stupidity, and put it in its proper place. "I say we tell Lady Tsunade. She'll know what to do."

"You always say that, Sakura."

"Well, she does!" she said defensively. "She sure knew what to do about Luna's injury earlier..."

They were quiet for a moment, lost in thought, and suddenly Sasuke's head shot up. "Sakura! That makes perfect sense!"

"I know! ...What does?"

He didn't even comment on that last part, all excited now. "You said Luna was virtually unaffected by the Fox chakra, right? That would explain why she's with Naruto! That can't be a coincidence. She was picked by someone who knew she had that immunity, and she was picked for a reason. And I'm guessing it's a bit beyond keeping an eye on Naruto."

Sakura looked at the ground in thought before shooting her gaze right back up to Sasuke's. "You...You don't think she was hired to kill him, do you?"

Sasuke scratched his head thoughtfully. "Actually, now that you mention it...Sakura, that's brilliant! She'd be the perfect one to kill him, due to her immunity, and he'd never see it coming since he thinks she's in love with him!"

Sakura bit her lip. "Not to mention how hard he seems to be falling for _her_...Sasuke, what're we gonna do _now_?"

He leaned against Shizune's desk with a sigh. "That's the hard part. We can't just come to Tsunade with this whole elaborate story about Naruto's girlfriend being a spy for the enemy and a possible assassin. We have to provide proof."

"Proof," Sakura repeated, thinking. Had Luna ever given any inclination as to her true intentions? She couldn't think of any. She sighed glumly. "So in other words, we have to wait until we have proof."

"Looks like it."

"Fantastic," she muttered, worry written clearly all over her face.

Sasuke put a hand on her shoulder, making the blood rush to her cheeks. "Don't worry so much. Naruto may be an idiot, but he knows how to take care of himself. ...Usually. We'll have Luna out of here by New Year's. Got it?"

She smiled slightly, nodding. "Got it."


	25. Getting Caught

**Okay, so this isn't the Christmas chapp I promised. I thought this whole library thing would only take up a few pages and I could fit most of the Christmas chapp in this, but...of COURSE...my creative juices chose NOW to start flowing after having writer's block for this AND my Bleach fic. **

**Stuff I seriously, totally, absolutely LOVE to write for and update.**

**...Damn writer's block. -_-+**

**Well, anyway. MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS! AND...WHATEVER ELSE YOU CELEBRATE! ^_^;**

**Read, review, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW AND REVIEW SOME MORE AFTER THAT! ...And ENJOOOOY! :D**

**Oh, and a warning: explanations are included in this. Meaning, things a lot of people already know. Namely the long paragraphs in which Luna's reading out loud to herself (typical manga/anime move, no? XD). Feel free to skim those little monologues of hers, but I wouldn't skip them entirely. Just in case I screwed something up, it'd be awesome if someone told me ^^;**

**Weeeelll...NOW you may enjoy! ...I SAID NAO.**

* * *

Konoha's Archive Library was located within the Hokage Mountain. And man, was it huge. Luna walked in and stared wide-eyed at all the shelves upon shelves of books and papers. There weren't too many people there, which was surprising to her.

If Luna had access to such an expansive record of ninja history, she'd be coming all the time. Then again...these people _lived_ that history, and she didn't. So maybe they already knew all the answers their library held.

But _Luna_ sure didn't know the answers, and demanding them from Naruto or Sakura would take all day. She'd much rather get the answers from something that _wouldn't_ give her a headache halfway through the explanation.

Luna slowly walked between a few aisles, scanning titles. After realizing she had no clue what any of these titles referred to, having not even known ninjas _existed_ before coming to Konoha, she sighed heavily and took random books off their shelves. She flipped through the pages of the first one after getting a huge stack.

"'Upon becoming a shinobi, one must abide by specific rules when out in the field: a shinobi must always put the mission first. A shinobi must never show tears. A shinobi must see underneath the underneath. A shinobi must never question their leading ninja. A shinobi must prepare before it is too late,'" she read to herself.

_...Huh. Naruto hardly follows **any** of those! And yet...I still think he's one of the most skilled I've seen. How odd..._

"'Most come from a hidden village, of which some come from specialized ninja clans, and will perform missions for a fee. These missions can include: doing manual labor, acting as escorts, gathering secret information, retrieving stolen items, carrying out assassinations, etc. In times of war, ninja will come together to defend their villages and land. The clearest characteristic of a shinobi is their ability to manipulate chakra to create and use jutsu.' And jutsu...Well, I know what that is. Finally, something I _do_ know," she muttered to herself, flipping through the rest of the book. Finding nothing else interesting, she looked at the titles of the other books she'd picked up and found one labeled "Tailed Beasts".

Luna opened it carefully, sneezing from all the dust that was stirred. _Guess no one bothered to look for the __**actual**__ facts on the tailed beasts since they have one living right here in Konoha..._

The first few pages explained that the beasts had tails varying from one to nine, and that they were basically living forms of chakra. "'However, this immense strength is tempered due to their bestial nature, which restricts them from being intelligent enough to use it effectively. When tailed beasts are sealed within humans, they are able to benefit from the knowledge of their hosts, giving them the ability to speak and better utilize their powers.'" Luna flipped through a few more pages until she reached a summary as to the beasts' shared history.

"'In the beginning of ninja history, centuries before the founding of the ninja villages, there existed one demon, the Ten-Tailed Beast, that plagued the world until the Sage of the Six Paths defeated and sealed the beast within himself, making him the first jinchuuriki. However, knowing that his death would release the Ten-Tails back into the world, the Sage used lzanagi to divide its chakra into the nine other tailed beasts, before using Chibaku Tensei to seal its body away in what would become the moon. By the time of the formation of the shinobi villages, Hashirama Senju, the First Hokage, used his Wood Release techniques to capture and give several tailed beasts to the other shinobi villages as peace treaties, in order to stabilize the balance of power between them. However, after Hashirama's death, the villages had trouble containing these giant demons themselves and they began to run wild, so the villages instead moved to seal the tailed beasts within humans. In order to ensure that the jinchuuriki wouldn't turn traitor, it has been common practice to choose the jinchuuriki from the village's Kage family, such as a sibling or a spouse. The strength of the jinchuuriki would then be used to protect the village and be a living display of the Kage's power.'"

Luna let out a whoosh of air, inadvertently making dust go everywhere, and she promptly had another sneeze fit. "...Now how come I wasn't sneezing all the time in the _Manor of Sleep_?" she wondered to herself with a sweatdrop. "I _really_ hope it didn't make me develop an intolerance for dust."

Then she sighed for a different reason entirely. "So _that's_ why it was put inside Naruto – he's related to a Kage, right? But...who had it before him? And why did the responsibility fall on his shoulders at such a young age?" she wondered to herself. "...As to the early age...maybe it was to get him used to such a huge burden. But still...so many things could've gone wrong...!"

Luna shook her head, going back to put the two books up. Knowing her, she'd forget to later, and she didn't want people to know what she was researching. As she did so, a symbol caught her eye on one of the spines. Luna put the book on shinobi up slowly, peering up at the mysterious book. It was on the seventh shelf up. She couldn't entirely make out the symbol, nor did she really know why she was so fixated with it, but she decided it was worth looking at anyway.

"...Dammit," she muttered suddenly as a _really_ depressing thought struck her: "I...I'm too short!" She'd never had to admit that out loud before, but now, there it was. Dammit.

With a sigh, she looked around for one of those tall ladders she'd seen, but it was nowhere to be found. "_Dammit_," she repeated in a hiss, securing her foot on the second shelf before hoisting herself up.

* * *

**_FOUR MINUTES LATER..._**

After lots of grunting and hand-waving, she finally got a hold of the book. How was she repaid? She fell off the shelves,all seven feet, landing flat on her back. Hard.

"Owww," she groaned, sitting up and rubbing the middle of her back slowly. Sure she was a tough Agent. Badass, even. But dammit, that hurt!

She looked down at the book, hoping it was _really _fricking worth it. There was no title on the cover, and even if there was, she wouldn't have been able to read it. It was layered thick with dust. After opening the cover, she was able to get a good look at the symbol, located under the title: it was a spiral.

Just like the one on the back of Naruto's jacket, and on the sleeves of a lot of _jonin's_ jackets. "...'The Uzumaki Clan'?" she read slowly. _So...Naruto DOES have family! _Hoping to give him some good news about his apparent "clan", Luna flipped through the pages eagerly.

"Hmm...let's see...ah-HA! The **Uzumaki clan** was a prominent clan in Uzushiogakure. They were distant relatives of the Senju clan and thus both clans were on good terms; an alliance that extended onto their Hidden Villages – Konohagakure and Uzushiogakure.' ...Wait...WAIT...Was? Oh, don't tell me..." she impatiently skimmed down to the bottom paragraph, and her face fell.

"'Members of this clan were very knowledgeable of fuinjutsu. This reputation earned them renown and fear worldwide, which eventually led to the destruction of Uzushio, and the rest of the Land of Whirlpools during the era of Shinobi World Wars.' So...they're all dead? Except for Naruto...Dammit."

Luna huffed before sneezing some more. "That still doesn't tell me why HE was the one they put the Fox into. Was it just random?"

"...Y'know, if you want answers, you can always just _ask_," came her rather loud reply from her right. She jumped, falling right out of her chair, and a random librarian let out a rather loud "SHHHH!".

"Sorry!"

"SH!"

"_Sorry_!"

"SHHHH!"

"Dammit, I SAID I WAS SOR- Mmmph!" Luna exclaimed indignantly as Naruto clapped a hand over her mouth. "Stop apologizing, jeez. It just makes her angrier, trust me," he muttered with a shudder as the librarian continued to glare at them from above the top of her book. "Personal experience of yours?" Luna asked, but it came out like a bunch of muffled mush thanks to Naruto.

As soon as she went back to her reading, Naruto started laughing as quietly as possible. So Luna promptly hit him over the head with a book about his own clan after struggling to sit up, having been tangled up with the legs of the chair. "Ow!"

"SHHH!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, and the librarian made a "Hmmph!" noise before turning the page of her paperback. Luna crossed her arms across her middle, pouting up at him. "The hell are you doing here? Furthermore, WHY are you here?"

"Aren't those questions basically asking the same thing?"

"Does it matter? Answer them."

He rolled his eyes. "Well, why do you THINK I'm here? I'm definitely not coming here to read."

"So, you're here _becaaaausee_," she prompted, spinning her finger in a "Yeah, go on" kind of motion. Naruto shrugged. "I'm here 'cause _you're_ here. Why else?"

Luna eyed him suspiciously. "How'd you know I was here in the first place?"

He pointed at himself confidently. "'Cause I know the trick to finding ANYBODY!"

"SHHHH!"

They both jumped, waiting for the old lady to go back to her book before talking again. "There's a trick to finding people?" Luna wondered. "What is it?"

"Can't tell ya. Then it wouldn't be a trick if _any _random idiot could do it!"

"I am NOT an idiot!" she whispered defensively, eyeing the librarian warily. She didn't look up, so Luna turned up her nose defiantly at him and continued. "I am a _highly_ intellectual being, thank you very much!"

"...Yeah. Okay. Sure you are. That's why I saw you fall on your back trying to get that book earlier, AND that's why you had no idea I've been watching you that long judging by that look on your face," he said smugly.

Luna opened her mouth to protest, closed it, paused, opened it again, then sighed. "...Yeah, okay, you got me there. Anyway, whaddaya want?"

"Well, what do YOU want?"

"Huh?"

"You were looking for something, weren't you? Obviously it was something about me, what else would you be looking for?"

"Just because I'm looking for something, doesn't mean it has _anything_ to do with you," she replied matter-of-factly. Naruto flashed his smug grin again. "Huh. Weird, since I heard you talking about me just a few minutes ago. Maybe you just like the sound of my name?"

"Ha! No. Okay, yes, fine, I was doing...research."

Naruto sweatdropped. "...Stalker."

_**BAM!**_

"Owwww!"

"SHHHH!"

"SHH YOURSELF!" Naruto shouted back at the librarian, rubbing his poor head tenderly. Luna's temple continued to throb, holding up the bookend threateningly. "Want some more?"

"NO."

"I was merely. Doing. _Research_. And it wasn't on YOU, it was on shinobi in general."

"And you just HAPPENED to pick up a book about the Nine-Tails?" Naruto asked skeptically, still rubbing his head. To be fair, she _had _hit him with the sharp end of the bookend. _I hope he's not bleeding...That librarian'll probably make him clean it up..._

Luna sighed in defeat. "Okay, _maybe _I was hoping to find some info on that, too. ...Sorry about your head," she muttered, flashing an apologetic smile for about three seconds. It was then replaced by a thoughtful frown. "Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any clue as to..._why _they chose to put the Fox inside you? And at such a young age?" she asked carefully.

Naruto sat in a chair and propped his feet up onto the table as if she'd asked him how he'd been doing after not seeing him in a while or something. "_Weeelll_, that's a bit of a long story."

"We've got nothing _but _time," she replied simply, sitting on the table and swinging her legs haphazardly. He frowned to himself. "I hate it when you say that."

"All the more reason to say it, Naruto." He stuck his tongue out at her in reply, and she huffed. He just smirked to himself before putting his hands behind his head smugly. "Well, since you're _begging me _for information and all..." he started, obviously waiting for her to protest. She didn't, ready for him to just fricking tell her already.

He drooped a little at that, but continued anyway. "_Weeelll_, according to my mom, the Uzumaki clan had good vitality or whatever, so that's why she was chosen to be the jinchuuriki to the Nine-Tails. That and the fact that she had those chakra chains of hers, making her a great host. 'Great host'...ugh, makes me sick. Anyway...apparently she was the second...or was it third? ...Either way, she wasn't the first. ...Yeah, I think she was the second. THEN AGAIN, it could've been that she-"

"JUST GET ON WITH IT!" she screeched, making the hair blow right out of his face as he chibified and shrunk in his seat with fear.

"SHH!" the librarian hissed, making Luna slowly swivel her head so the librarian could see her maniacally-pissed expression. She promptly ducked her head back behind her book, making Naruto snicker to himself. "...You were saying," Luna said in a dangerous voice, making him stop laughing immediately.

"Oh. Right. Well, anyway, since she was the host of the Nine-Tails, they had to do special stuff for when she went into labor with me. Something about the seal on the Fox being weak during the whole thing or something. So they went off to somewhere secret so she could have me, but then a little while after I was born, Madara Uchiha found out where they were."

"Madara Uchiha? What, is he related to Sasuke?"

"Well, sorta. He's part of the Uchiha clan, just _like _Sasuke."

"Well, what happened to him?"

Naruto's temple throbbed. "CAN WE GET BACK TO ME INSTEAD OF DAMN _SASUKE_? JEEZ, JUST LIKE SAKURA! IT'S 'CAUSE HE BOUGHT YOU THAT DAMN MILKSHAKE, ISN'T IT?"

"THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?"

"IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH EVERYTHING!"

"...WHAT? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF WHEN YOU TALK, OR IS IT JUST LIKE SOME KIND OF WHITE NOISE IN YOUR BRAIN? Oh, wait, what am I saying? YOU HAVE NO BRAIN!"

"I DO TOO! A BIGGER ONE THAN YOU!"

"SHHHH!"

"_YOU_ SHHHH!" they both shouted at the librarian, whose temple throbbed before going back to her book.

Luna sighed as his temple continued to throb, ready for him to just explain everything already. "...Sorry. My fault. Go ahead."

"THANK you. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, Uchiha. So he found 'em and forced the Nine-Tails outta my mom's body. Thanks to the vitality she had, being an Uzumaki, she lived for a while and took care of me while my dad took on the Fox with a lot of Konoha's ninjas. And...in the end, mom died, and dad sacrificed himself for the rest of Konoha...and for me. To put the Nine-Tails in me. So...that's all. No huge complex reason or anything, just...survival."

Luna crossed her arms thoughtfully. "That sounds...kind of...twisted. No offense. I mean, I just can't imagine parents doing that to their kid; leaving them all alone like that with a demon inside them."

Naruto grinned. "That's 'cause you're looking at it wrong."

"...I am?" she asked, obviously confused. "I was quite sure I was merely listening, I wasn't looking at anything but you, so-"

"It's an expression, Loon. What I mean is, it wasn't that they were giving me a lonely life. It was them _giving _me life, period. I mean, what would've happened if they hadn't sealed away the Nine-Tails? It would've killed me, since it had already tried to, and it probably would've destroyed most or all of Konoha. Plus, he thought I could use the power to one day defeat Madara once and for all. And, you know...besides. People do crazy things for love."

Luna shrugged. "If you say so. I still think love is stupid."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I know ya do." Naruto then poked her with his foot, making her squawk in surprise and tumble right off the table. He started laughing as she glared up at him, blowing the hair out of her eyes impatiently. "See? If you were in _love _with someone, they would've _caught you _just then!"

"Shut up. JUST SHUT UP!"

That just made Naruto laugh even more, and she bit her lip to keep from smiling before standing up. She made a huge show of stomping as she went to put up the damn book on his _damn _clan. Luna clambered back up the shelves and slid the book back in its place, but as she was about to hop down, she lost her footing. "CRAP!" she hissed, flailing mid-air, but she never hit the ground.

Because Naruto caught her.

"Y'know, for an Agent, you're so clumsy it makes you predictable," he said matter-of-factly. Luna's temple throbbed, and she made a point of kicking him in the gut as she scrambled out of his arms. "OW!"

"SHHH!"

"YEAH, WE GET IT, BUT THIS PSYCHOTIC CHICK OVER HERE JUST KICKED THE WIND OUTTA ME!"

"...You sure recovered it quickly, your mouth seems to be working _just_ fine. ...Unfortunately," Luna said dully. That just made his temple throb even more, and she coughed to stifle her laugh. "...Can we just leave this hellhole now?" Naruto asked.

Luna rolled her eyes and nodded, pushing her chair in like the good library visitor she was. "Sure. ...Big baby," she said under her breath.

He promptly stuck his foot out and tripped her. So she attacked him from behind almost before she had even really got up, jumping onto his back as they both started shouting at each other.

...And then the librarian used genjutsu to kick both their asses and make them practically _run _out of the damn archive library.


	26. Merry Late Christmas, Everybody!

**Phew! It took me all day today and part of yesterday to do this! ...Granted I was watching tv and stuff, which epically distracted me, BUT STILL. I DID IT! ALL 23/24 PAGES! YOU BETTER READ IT!**

**...Erm. _Anyway_, I-**

**(Suddenly the door is flung open, and in walks Luna)**

**Me: ...L...Luna? THE HELL ARE _YOU _DOING HERE?**

**Luna: (Shrugs) I was told there were presents in this facility.**

**Me: Who told you that?**

**Luna: Naruto.**

**Me: (Bellows) NARUTOOOOO!**

**Naruto: (Runs in the now-open door) Yeah?**

**Me: Shut the damn door!**

**Luna: (Eyeroll) I'm used to that by now. Idiot never even _locks _it at night.**

**Naruto: Why would I lock my door at night? **

**Luna: (Sweatdrop) SO NO ONE BREAKS IN AND TRIES TO STEAL YOUR STUFF OR KILL YOU WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING, DUMBASS!**

**Naruto: (Grins and flops onto couch I'm sitting on, making me bounce and fly off into the wall) Pft, let 'em try! I'll kick any intruder's ass!**

**Luna: (Grumbles) You sure didn't kick _Hinata's_...**

**Naruto: T-That's different!**

**Me: (Temple throbbing) IF YOU CAME FOR PRESENTS AND YOU WANT 'EM SO DAMN BAD, STOP FIGHTING SO YOU CAN GET THEM!**

**Naruto and Luna: (Instantly shut up)**

**Me: (Nods slowly with a satisfied grin) Good job. Here. They're from one of my reviewers and a friend of mine: yukicrewger2.**

**-They rip through the wrapping paper, and it goes flying everywhere. Including my head. Cue my temple throb.-**

**Naruto: What's this? (Holds up present)**

**Me: (Peeling the wrapping paper off my face slowly, temple still throbbing) Read the note! ...Dumbass.**

**Naruto: (Shoots me dirty look before reading note) Ahem. "One of my creations, a kodachi that can channel a jutsu through it, like Rasengan for example, for Naruto. -Yuki". ...Cool!**

**Luna: (Holds up charm necklace with her birthstone, a blue topaz) Whoaaa...it's great! **

**Me: (Picks up note that came with it) Ahem. "This charm necklace has a spell cast on it that puts up a barrier for protection (will suck that asshole of an ex into a black hole if he gets too close and will give Orochimaru explosive diarrhea if he gets too close to you that will last for one week as long as he _doesn't _get close to you. If he _does_, the cycle will start back over), for Luna. -Yuki"**

**Luna: Aww, hear that! He's protecting me from Alex every time I wear this! AND Orochimaru!**

**Naruto: (Temple throb) And what've _I _been doing this whole time?**

**Luna: (Dull tone) Do you really want me to answer that?**

**Naruto: (Droops, bigger temple throb) ...NO.**

**Me: Ahhh, you two get along so great. Well, let's not make this MASSIVE chapp even more massive. I know it looks long, but I think it's worth the read! So read it, PLEAAAASE REVIEW BECAUSE THIS TOOK FOREVER! ...AND ENJOOOOOY! :D**

**Oh, also! I would just like to say that the whole Christmas Party Sai Thing was inspired by a comic I read on deviant art by mistyblossoms, called Sai Christmas. It's in 2 parts, and so I give a ton of credit to her. It's hilarious, check it out!**

**h t t p : / / p s y c h o t i c s u s h i . d e v i an t a r t . c o m/f a v o u r i te s / # /d 1 7 q e 8 6 **

* * *

After that little secretive trip of Naruto's, Luna just naturally assumed that was the end of it. But she was dead wrong. He continued making secretive trips to the same exact store, and she once saw him come out with a ton of rolls of shiny wrapping paper. There was now a huge-ass tree in his den, which he insisted on decorating with shiny objects and a star on the very top.

And he bought cookies two weeks before Christmas, informing her she couldn't eat the dough because the cookies were to be given to the Santa man he spoke of so often. Along with milk. And carrots for the reindeer he had driving his sleigh.

Did she dare ask about the meaning of all this preparation? Of course not. To be honest, she figured some things were better left unknown.

Now it was less than a week until Christmas, and everyone was excited. Even Luna herself, despite the fact she still had no idea what even really _happened_ during Christmas. But right now, she was annoyed. "Naruto?"

"Yeah."

"Where the hell're we going?" she demanded to know.

"I already told you, it's a surprise."

"...Dammit," she muttered. Normally, she'd keep asking until he told her. But he looked so excited that she didn't want to ruin it for him. Instead, she just sighed. "It better be good. I'm freezing."

"You're wearing four shirts and a jacket, how the hell can you be freezing?" he wondered with a sweatdrop. "I'm wearing just a jacket and a long-sleeved shirt, and _I'm _warm!"

"I get cold easily, sue me," she said defensively. Naruto just rolled his eyes, waiting impatiently as she trudged after him. "Just hurry up, before the line gets too long!"

"Line for _what_?"

"Can't tell ya."

"Yes you can, you just _choose _not to!"

"...Well, either way, I'm not telling," he said matter-of-factly, walking beside yet slightly ahead of her. Konoha looked rather busy, probably due to it being so close to Christmas. People were filtering in and out of stores all over the place, stacks of bags and boxes piled high in and around their arms. It was pretty funny to watch them try and walk when they couldn't see over all the purchases. And then there were people decorating the streets of Konoha with random festive objects of which she'd never really seen in person.

"HO HO HO!"

Luna jumped, looking around suspiciously. "The hell was _that_?"

"_That _was Santa. Duh," Ino said to her right, making her jump all over again. Naruto was obviously trying not to laugh, which just made her more annoyed. "Hey, Ino. Didn't see you."

"I noticed," Ino said with a sweatdrop, and Luna looked around again. "So THAT's the noise this Santa man makes?"

Ino sweatdropped even more, peering at her from around her huge stack of boxes. "...Yeah. Every year. It's kinda his catchphrase." She looked at Naruto funny, and he just shook his head. "Never met Santa," he said simply, and she nodded slowly. "Ohhhh! Got it."

"Where _is_ this Santa man, anyway?" Luna wondered, not able to see much what with everything going on around them. Naruto pointed straight ahead. "Over there!"

She stood on her tiptoes to see, and her eyes landed on a long line of children, at the start of which was a big man in an even bigger chair. He was dressed all in red, with fur on it, and a red hat with a white poofball at the end of it. He looked so cheerful it was scary.

"There he is. SANTA!" Naruto exclaimed happily. Ino rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "You and Sasuke get so excited over Santa, I just don't get it."

Luna looked at Naruto strange. "_Sasuke_ gets excited over _Santa_ of all things?"

He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. I remember the first time I saw that..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**NARUTO'S****FLASHBACK.**_

"_Where're we going, Sensei?" Sakura asked as they tried to keep up with Kakashi. Naruto, of course, tried to walk as close to Sakura as possible. That long, beautiful pink hair of hers was whipping around, and some of it brushed his arm, and-_

"_PLEASE _JUST GET ON WITH IT!" Ino and Luna shouted at the same time, making Naruto jump. "...Sorry. Got carried away."

"Ya think?" Luna muttered. He just smirked. "No need to get jealous. I like your hair, too. Probably more. IN FACT-"

"Naruto, it's not about-"

"ANYWAY."

"_Someone's coming to Konoha that was gone for the longest time," Kakashi said simply, slowing to a stop. Now even Sasuke was curious. "Who?" Naruto asked._

"_Santa Clause."_

"_Santa?" Sasuke wondered, having not seen him since his early childhood. Being the only Uchiha left kind of meant Christmas wasn't as huge. Well, unless he went to celebrate with Itachi. HA! Loon, I made a funny!_

"Can you PLEASE just-"

"Alright, alright! Jeez."

_They stopped to stare at the big man in red, and Sasuke's eyes widened. "SANTAAAA! OH MY GOD!" _

_The rest of Team 7 watched with dropped jaws and sweatdrops as Sasuke ran around them excitedly, getting a spot in line with the little kids. They finally caught up with him, and he looked at them with wide eyes. "I KNOW HIM!" he exclaimed, holding the sides of his face in a Home Alone fashion. _

_He grabbed Naruto by his jacket, eyes even wider now. "...I know him."_

"_That's...great, Sasuke. I know him, too," Naruto managed to get out, trying not to laugh. Sakura sighed dreamily as Sasuke continued to chatter excitedly about his experience with Santa. "Awww. Sasuke probably hasn't had a Christmas in a while. A good one, that is."_

_Then she lowered her voice, talking mostly to herself. "Now that Santa's back, all I have to do is strategically place him so that the line of kids is underneath mistletoe. That way, Sasuke will eventually HAVE to make a move! CHA! SHANNEROO!"_

_Naruto's temple throbbed, and he crossed his arms. "Damn Sasuke." Kakashi just sighed and shook his head as Sasuke continued to ramble. "...Christmas does the strangest things to you kids."_

_**END****FLASHBACK.**_

* * *

Naruto shook his head. "...Damn Sasuke." Ino and Luna exchanged an eye-roll.

"I never knew Sasuke was so fond of Saint Nicholas," Sai commented from behind Luna, making her jump nearly a foot in the air. "JEEZ, SAI, WHEN'D _YOU _GET HERE?" everyone asked.

He smiled at them. "When Naruto was mentioning Sakura's 'long, beautiful pink hair'?" Luna's temple throbbed, and Naruto laughed anxiously. "Let's forget that part of the flashback, shall we?"

Luna crossed her arms. "_I _don't care if you forget it or not, it doesn't affect ME whatsoever."

"Uh-huh," him and Ino said while exchanging a smirk, their voices dripping with sarcasm. Her temple throbbed even more, and Naruto grinned. "Well, let's go see Santa! If I don't tell him what I want, I'll _never _get it!"

"Do we have to? I mean, you got presents _before_ you were able to tell Santa what you wanted, didn't you?" Luna asked in a slightly-whiny tone. That big guy in red looked a bit unsettling.

"Yeah, but they're BETTER presents when I talk to him! C'mon!" he exclaimed, dragging her towards Santa by her hand. Ino and Sai watched as she spastically tried to get her hand out of his. Sai sweatdropped. "I...don't think Luna likes Saint Nicholas all that much."

Ino just giggled to herself. "Yeah, I got that vibe too." A couple of her packages slipped out of her hands, and Sai caught them before they hit the ground. "Oh, thanks, Sai."

"Would you like me to help you carry some of those?" Sai asked, tilting his head at an odd angle to see her past her gifts. She giggled. "Sure! Here, take these," she said cheerfully, dumping nine of the eighteen packages over to him. "You got 'em?" she asked, trying not to laugh at the look on his face.

He smiled at her. "Of course. Lead the way." And with that, they waddled their way to Ino's.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Naruto, can I just wait for you at a safe distance while _you _see the Santa man?" Luna asked, her voice getting higher and higher.

"Nope! Don't you want a Christmas present or two from Santa?"

"I think I'm good, I've gone without any for years!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You're probably just nervous 'cause you've never talked to him before!" he said matter-of-factly. Luna shook her head like crazy. "No, it's 'cause he's CREEEPY!"

"Shhh! He might hear you!" Naruto said, making her sigh exasperatedly.

"HO HO HO! Who's next?" Santa asked.

"US!" Naruto shouted, running to the front of the line with Luna in tow. The girl that would've been next watched them with a sweatdrop.

"HO HO HO! Why, hello there, kids!"

"Hiya, Santa! Remember me?"

Santa peered at Naruto as he continued to bounce excitedly. "Hmm...Naruto, right?"

"YES!"

Luna bit her lip to keep from smiling. "Well, hello again, Naruto! Who's this lovely little lady you have with ya?"

"Oh, this is Luna. She's my girlfriend. She's never met you before."

Santa simply laughed. "HO HO HO! Why, hello there, Luna!"

"...Hi."

Naruto sweatdropped. Santa patted his lap. "Well, who's first?"

"Luna is!"

"What the- NARUTO, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" she shouted as he picked her up by her hips and plopped her in Santa's lap. Luna's temple started throbbing as Santa put his hands on her hips to steady her. "Watch the hands, pal."

"Easy, now, no need to worry. What do you want for Christmas, little one?"

Her temple throbbed even more at the "little one" part, but she didn't comment on it. Instead, she scratched her head thoughtfully. "Hmmm...I dunno, Santa man. I might have to think about that. You usually don't give me presents, see. But I guess I get that, since I kill an average of two hundred targets a year and imprison over five hundred."

Santa and Naruto gulped at that, and Naruto leaned towards Santa. "I'd watch what you say, if I were you. Don't imply in any way she's short, and whatever you do, DON'T mention her ass! She hates it when I do that!"

Luna's temple throbbed at that, and Santa sweatdropped. "...So THAT'S what you kids talk about these days. Well, anyway, take your time, Luna."

She tried to think, but that little girl was tapping her foot, and she finally stomped it before shouting "JUST HURRY UP!". The other kids were getting antsy as well, groaning and complaining amongst themselves.

Luna thought hard for a few more seconds before whispering into Santa's ear. "Santa man? I don't really have anything I want, except...well, two things. The first one is...I'd like to not have to go back to the Agency for a loooong time. That would mean I wouldn't have to be an assassin anymore, you see, and I could be with my friends a little longer. And, um, also? Do you think...you could bring Naruto's family back? I figured maybe you could do that; Naruto makes you out to be a rather magical man, Santa man."

Santa paused, then whispered into her ear his reply. "...Hmm. That's quite a heavy-duty demand you're making, Luna. I won't bring Naruto's family back. Do you know why?"

She shook her head. "No...Are you...angry with him?"

"Ho ho ho! No, of course not!" he exclaimed before whispering in her ear, "Because he has a new family now, here in Konoha, out of all his friends. And I would _love_ to be able to make you stay here. Do you know _why_? ...Because you're part of that family now. And no one likes to see families separated. Do you?"

She shook her head. "No. A new family...I...I am? I'm a part of it?"

"Most certainly!"

Luna sighed heavily. "Oh, I...I see. Well, in that case...could you find me a giant box of Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts?"

"HO HO HO! I'll most certainly try!" he said, obviously amused. Naruto picked her back up off his lap and set her down on her own two feet before getting in Santa's lap himself. "My turn! Okay, Santa, here goes." He then started whispering in Santa's ear, and Luna sighed.

"I believe I have started a 'trend,' as Becs called it." The little girl's temple was throbbing, and she made a squeaky little "Humph" noise. "Took you long enough! I'm gonna be eight by the time I get up there!"

"How old are you?"

"Seven...and a fourth," she announced proudly. Luna nodded slowly, ignoring the other kids by this time. "Oh. What do _you_ want to ask from the Santa man?" The girl gave her a weird look at what she called the man in red, then smiled proudly. "I want a kitty! ...And also, I want a new doll. Sally's getting raggedy."

Luna smiled. "Oh, I see. That sounds nice. I like dogs better, but I had a cat once. Well, it was my brother's but...don't tell him this, but it _definitely _liked me better," she said with a smile.

The little girl giggled, then looked at Naruto before shaking her head. "That's Naruto, right?" Luna nodded, and the girl nodded as well. "My mommy and daddy used to tell me to stay away from him, just like the other little kids, but now...they don't seem to mind him so much. _I_ think he's funny," she said with a giggle as Naruto continued to talk to Santa excitedly.

Luna smiled to herself. "Yeah. He is. He sure does grin a lot," she mused to herself. "I wonder how he does it without getting tired of smiling."

The girl shrugged. "I dunno. He didn't _used_ to grin as much, though, after that Uchiha guy left. And when he came back...the grins weren't as good anymore."

"They weren't?"

She shook her head. "No. But now they are...Something's different." She smiled at Luna. "My mommy says it's because you make him happy."

Luna put her hand to her face to tuck some hair behind her ear so she could fight down the blush without that kid seeing it. "Oh, does she? ...Your mommy sure does say a lot about Naruto."

She shrugged. "She's friends with the Yamanakas, and one of their daughters talks about him with her friend a _looooot_."

Luna sweatdropped. "I should've known." Naruto hopped off Santa's lap cheerfully and gestured to the girl. "I think it's your turn now."

The little girl huffed, glaring up at Naruto. "About _time_. Line-skipper!" she accused.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NO-" Luna sighed and interrupted him by dragging him off. "Never mind him. Nice talking to you!" she shouted over her shoulder as she dragged him down the street.

Once they were a safe distance away, Luna let go of him. "There. I saw Santa. Happy now?"

He grinned. "Yeah, that terrified look on your face was priceless!"

_**BAM!**_

"Owwww," he groaned, having been kicked into a nearby wall. Luna smiled innocently at him as he clambered to his feet, stomping over to her. "Dammit, one of these days you're gonna make me break a limb or something, and I'm gonna completely use your guilt to my advantage!" he exclaimed.

Luna laughed. "Yeah, right. Okay."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FOUR****DAYS LATER...**_

Her phone was ringing. Her phone was ringing at three in the morning? Luna groaned and rolled over so her face was pressing into the mattress.

Her phone was still ringing.

She ducked her head underneath the pillow, clamping it tightly over her ears.

Still ringing.

Luna growled to herself, ducking her hand out from under the pillow. Once grabbing it, she pressed it against her ear. "H-Hallo?" she asked groggily, her words slurred.

The phone continued to ring away, and she facepalmed herself after realizing she forgot to slide the phone open. "...WHAT," she growled.

_**"MEEEERRRY CHRISTMAS!" **_Becs, Ichigo, and Rukia shouted into her ear, making her hair blow off her face and her temple throb.

"Is there any particular reason you all felt compelled to shout that to me in the middle of the night?" Luna asked groggily, yawning.

_"Nope. Except that we were hoping we'd wake you up. That'd be a bonus," _Ichigo informed her.

Her temple throbbed. "Congratulations. Consider yourselves bonused, jackasses."

_**"YAY!" **_they all cheered, and her temple throbbed even more.

"Smartasses, lemme go back to sleep!"

_"I thought we were jackasses just a second ago?"_

They started laughing as Luna growled in response to Ichigo's remark, and there was shuffling before Becs' voice was the only one against her ear. _"Fine, fine. Go back to sleep. Oh, and Will's phone fell down the shower drain, so he told me to tell you 'Merry Christmas' and that he loves you."_

"Unh. Got it."

Becs giggled before there was more rustling, and then Ichigo's voice crashed against her ear next._ "Hey. You never did tell us about that Alex guy. You seen him?"_

_"Ichigo, don't ask that on Christmas Eve Day!"_ Becs hissed.

_"It's just a damn question!"_

Luna rolled her eyes. "How about this? Leave me alone, and I'll tell you once I can see through my eyes again," she said, her words slurring slightly again. She was so tired, it wasn't even funny. She was half-asleep as it was.

_"Why don't ya just tell us now and get it over with?"_ Ichigo offered defiantly, but then there was yelling from Becs, and with a _**CRASH**_, the phone hung up on their end.

Luna sighed heavily, phone still in her hand as she let her face fall back into the pillow. She was just starting to drift off when her cell phone vibrated and started ringing.

Her temple throbbed so bad it threatened to pop a blood vessel, and she sighed heavily as she felt Naruto stirring to her right.

...Yes, he was there. She refused to give up the most comfortable bed she'd ever slept in, and he refused to sleep on the window seat. So she tolerated him. For now. She intended to start dragging him to the couch and locking him out, but for now...she was cold.

Luna snapped her phone open, temper flaring. "ALRIGHT, Ichigo, I'm not gonna tell you and that's that!"

Silence.

"...Well? Can I hang up now, or are ya just gonna keep calling?" she asked angrily.

_"Ichigo, huh? Oh, you must be referring to that tall orange-headed kid."_

Luna paled, the blood draining from her face. She gripped her phone tighter. "...Oh. It's you. Well? What, did you wish to tell me 'Merry Christmas' and that you love me? Will beat you to it."

_"Actually, I was gonna tell you that you should get out while you still can. But that other one works, too."_

"What? What're you talking about?" she asked, rubbing her right eye with her free hand.

_"I'm talking about what the Agency's planning."_

"Huh?"

He sighed impatiently on the other end, and she could hear his grip on the phone tighten. _"They're gonna drag you outta there, Luna. By your hair, if they need to. By the end of the year maximum, I believe. They're gonna experiment on you again. And if you don't get outta there now, there'll be nothing you can do about it."_

"So...I need to leave. Where shall I go?" she asked, deciding to humor him.

_"Just run, dammit! You can stay here, with me. Or you can be on your own. I don't care, so long as you're safe from...from **them**." _Alex said "them" as if it were a disease, and it made her shiver despite herself.

"Where...Where're you getting all this?"

_"I heard it myself."_

"H-How?"

_"I have someone on the inside."_

"Who?"

He chuckled on the other line. _"Now, Luna, if I told you that, you'd sell them out to Tara in a heartbeat. And I can't have **that**. How else can I keep an eye on you?"_

Luna sighed rather heavily, eyes shut in frustration. "...I don't believe you. Leave me alone, I'm tired. If you're gonna start that whole constant-call thing up again, at least start at a decent hour!"

_"Luna-"_

"No, I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Will you hang up now, or will I have to do it first?" she asked rather politely. Which, of course, she knew would make him absolutely terrified. He knew as well as Naruto did that in times like these, she was polite to someone when she imagined killing them if they didn't do things her way.

_"I'll leave you alone now. I guess...If you don't leave, I'll just have to save your ass when they prove me right. Oh, well. At least I know I'll see you again. ...Merry Christmas, Luna. ...I love you, you know."_

And with that, he hung up.

Luna sighed heavily for what had to be the fortieth time, her head pounding. She refused to let that call ruin her Christmas, but dammit, it sure as hell ruined an already-crappy morning.

She rolled over onto her back, eyes shut and her arm laying across them. She was trying to make the world even darker than it already was.

Which was pretty dark, since it wasn't even four yet. She heard the rather distinct sound of Naruto yawning and stretching. She sighed exasperatedly as one of his hands found themselves stretching across her shoulder, her collarbone area, her other shoulder, to the other side of the bed. "...Naruto."

"Unn."

"Move your arm."

"Huh?"

"Your arm? Move it. NOW."

"Wha...What arm?"

"The one on top of me!"

"...Wha?" he asked, his voice more groggy than hers had been. If that was possible. Luna's temple throbbed; it was always so hard for him to focus and be alert when she woke him up too early.

She took a deep breath, trying not to get annoyed. "Naruto, I know this is hard for you, but try to _listen_ to the words coming out of my mouth for just a second. Okay?"

"Your mouth?"

"Yes, my mouth." _Where else would I be speaking from?_ Luna wondered with a sweatdrop. His fingers curled and uncurled themselves before patting the area of mattress his hand was plopped onto. He then grunted in confusion, moving his hand forward, then backward.

It wasn't until he bumped into Luna's arm that he seemed satisfied. "Oh, good, you're still here," he muttered groggily, his hand wrapped around her arm.

Luna sweatdropped. "Did you think I went somewhere?"

"You mentioned leaving. Didn't you?"

"Leaving?"

"Someone did. And I heard you talking, too. So I figured you woulda...woulda...umm...left! Yeah, left. Left already."

Luna sighed yet again. "Nope, I'm still here."

"Oh. ...Tha...That's good. That's good," he said slowly, yawning before moving his hand to her upper arm.

"Okay, back to listening to the words coming out of my mouth?" Luna prompted.

"Your mouth?"

"WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS!" she said impatiently, her eyes squeezing shut even tighter for emphasis. Not that he could see them since her arm was still on top of them, but still.

His hand went up her arm, to the side of her face. His fingers searched her face before finding her mouth, tracing the outline of her lower lip. "...Oh. Your mouth. Okay, but you're not saying anything," he said matter-of-factly.

Luna blinked her eyes open, slowly letting her arm slide away from her face before turning to look at him. Her temple then throbbed to the max as she realized his eyes were wide open, and his grin suggested he'd just been wanting to see how she'd react if he _acted_ like he couldn't see.

"...Dammit, Naruto!" she hissed, kicking him blindly under the covers before flopping onto her side moodily so that she was facing away from him.

"Ow!" he whined between laughs, and he laughed even harder when she simply huffed in response. "Aww, c'mon, I was just messin' with ya."

"I don't care. The only thing that bothers me is that I lost precious sleep time trying to talk to a certified village idiot," she muttered moodily.

"Now that's harsh," he said, still sounding smug as he played with her hair.

"...I'm gonna kill you one day. I can just _tell_ I am," she said before yawning rather loudly.

"I think I can take ya."

"Oh, do you? That'll make it all the more satisfying when I finally kill you," she replied simply. That made him laugh, which made her temple throb.

"Loon, you honestly think you scare me? That's funny," he said before yawning. He continued to play with her hair, the arm of his non-occupied hand draping across her waist. Luna frowned. "You're awfully close to me today. Why?"

"'Cause you hate it so much," he said as if it were obvious. Which, Luna guessed it was. It WAS Naruto.

She just sighed heavily as she felt her eyelids growing heavier and heavier; she sure was doing a lot of that lately.

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

A Christmas party. Luna Sasaki was at a Christmas party. _What next, the world ending?_ She smiled and shook her head as Naruto and Sasuke continued to have a verbal-battle over who would get the most presents from Santa and why.

"I SINGLEHANDEDLY ESCAPED THE CLUTCHES OF OROCHIMARU WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT UNTIL I WAS SAFELY IN THE BOUNDARIES OF KONOHA! THAT _HAS_ TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING!"

"YEAH, WELL _I_ NEARLY KILLED THAT GUY _MYSELF_ WHEN HE PISSED ME OFF ON THAT DAMN BRIDGE!"

"YEAH, WELL _I_ WAS THE _ONLY_ _ONE_ MY BROTHER SPARED WHEN HE KILLED OUR WHOLE CLAN! _OBVIOUSLY_, I'M A FAVORITE!"

"_YEAH_, WELL MY PARENTS SACRIFICED THEMSELVES FOR ME! OBVIOUSLY I'M MORE _LOVED_!"

"YEAH, WELL _I_ HAVE TOO MANY FANGIRLS TO _COUNT_!"

"YEAH, WELL...WELL..._I_ GOT TO SLIDE DOWN LUNA'S BRA STRAP! _AND_ GIVE HER A VIRTUALLY-FULL-BODY MASSAGE!"

"...Dammit," Sasuke muttered, slumping in defeat. "I haven't even managed to _kiss _Sakura yet!"

Naruto grinned triumphantly, while Sakura and Ino were watching with major sweatdrops. "Hear that, Forehead? You coulda just kissed him and he would've totally been more than happy to kiss you back."

"...Yeah...I heard, Ino...Thanks for clearing that up."

Luna smiled to herself, shaking her head again as Naruto did a Victory Dance. "I told him mentioning that bra strap thing would come in handy, but he didn't really believe me."

"...What IS the 'bra strap thing'?" Ino asked. Sakura looked over at them with interest as Luna turned a little red.

"Nothing major, really, I just had something on my shoulder and it was right underneath my bra strap, and I couldn't see it, soooo...I just had him slide my bra strap down."

"Ohhhh," the two kunoichi said in unison, nodding slowly.

"Just don't tell Sasuke that. Not now that Naruto finally won an argument," Luna added, and they nodded some more.

"Hey, don't say that like it's _not_ a regular thing!" Naruto called out before resuming his Victory Dance, making the three girls sweatdrop.

"...And yet, he can't hear that well when I want something from him," Luna commented dully.

"Join the club," Sakura replied in the same dull tone.

After a few minutes in which Luna enjoyed talking to Ino, Sakura, and Temari without Naruto there, there was a knock on Sakura's door. As Sasuke went to answer it, the blonde annoyance came back.

...And no, we don't mean Ino or Temari.

Luna jumped in surprise when she felt arms around her waist. "Holy _crap_, you scared me," she said, making Naruto laugh. "You're too jumpy."

"...The hell're you doing?" Luna hissed at him as he simply _stayed_ there with his arms around her like that. She thought it had just been to scare her, but apparently she thought wrong.

"You forgot something major, Loon. Everyone else thinks we're dating, remember?"

"Yeah, I know that, Sherlock."

"Well, people do stuff like this when they're dating. They do other stuff too, but that's usually behind closed doors," he whispered into her ear, making her shiver all over. Damn Naruto. For some reason, that reminded her of Tsunade, and she stomped her foot. "CRAP!"

"What?"

"Tsunade wanted to see me _weeks_ ago, and I never went!"

"...Oh. Well, too late now," he said simply, making her temple throb.

"You're not very helpful. At all. In any way, shape, or form," she informed him. Naruto chuckled, plopping his head onto her shoulder. "I'm not trying to be."

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine."

"_Always_ fine."

"In your head, maybe."

"_Your_ head too, judging by how many times you've checked me out when I'm not looking."

"I have NOT!"

"Have so!"

They cut off their stupid argument after hearing the rather distinct sound of Sakura's front door being flung open, knocking poor Sasuke into the wall. He was now stuck between the door and the wall, temple throbbing. His poor mug of hot chocolate went flying, too, and landed smack in Shino's face.

Luna, Naruto, Sakura, and a few others watched with sweatdrops as Shino's glasses slowly cracked all over before breaking completely, shattering and crashing to the ground. Naruto let out a whistle. "...Tough luck, Shino."

Luna then stomped on his foot, making him groan into her shoulder. Which made her shiver all over again. She was about to yell at him for it, sure he had done that _just_ to get some kind of perverted reaction out of her, but then she noticed who had opened the door.

It was Sai, who was practically floating, he was so happy. He had a huge sack, sort of like the one Santa man had with him beside his chair, and had a beard like Santa man's attached to his face. "Hello my friends! I'd like to share my joy with you all!" Sai exclaimed cheerfully.

Everyone immediately froze what they were doing. Sort of. Sakura froze mid-sip of her hot chocolate, Ten-Ten stopped in the middle of the room with two drinks in fancy glasses with umbrellas, Rock Lee was offering a present to Neji, but stopped mid-sentence to stare at Sai. Choji looked just plain intrigued, and Neji was staring impassively.

"So bright...!" Kiba exclaimed, making Luna sweadrop.

Naruto suddenly held up a cookie shaped like a reindeer, offering it to her. "Cookie?"

Luna sweatdropped even more. "...No thanks." _When the hell'd he get that? His hands've been on my waist this whole time... _Luna wondered as he shrugged and ate it himself.

As Sai continued to stand there, all sunshine and rainbows, people started reacting. Most were sweatdrops or grumbles. "What he say?" Shika asked rather drunkenly, leaning heavily on Temari, who was just shaking her head at Sai and eating a gingerbread cookie.

"Wait...Sai was invited?" Naruto asked no one in particular. Sakura's temple throbbed. "Of course he was!"

"...Oh. I didn't know that," he informed Luna.

"I don't care," she informed right back. He stuck his tongue out at her, so she stuck hers back out at him, but before they could drag THAT idiotic moment out any more, Sai started talking some more. "I brought gifts for you all!" he exclaimed before prancing over to Sakura.

"For Sakura-chaaaan!"

"Um...Thanks," Sakura said with an awkward laugh. He then moved over to Naruto.

"For Naruto-kuuuuun!"

"..." He wasn't going to say anything, but Luna stomped on his foot. "Th-AAAA-nks, Sai," Naruto groaned, making Luna smile triumphantly.

"For Luna-chaaaaaaaan!" he trilled, handing her a present.

"Thank you!"

"Aaaand for EVERYONE ELSE!" Sai exclaimed, throwing presents to everyone else at Sakura's party. "May your Christmas be filled with happiness and love!"

Luna, sweatdropping epically, turned her head to the side and downward to look at Naruto, who still had his head on her shoulder. "...What's happened to Sai?"

He sweatdropped as well. "I believe he's gotten...The Holiday Fever."

Sakura held up her gift happily. "I got some new medical supplies and a graphing calculator!"

Luna sweatdropped, and Naruto opened his curiously. "Ramen and a slingshot? HELL YEAH! Loon, you're doomed!"

"Not if I get ahold of that slingshot first," she replied dangerously. He just got a rather mischievous gleam in his eye, and Luna sweatdropped before opening hers. "...I got my Pop-Tarts! Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts! THANKS, SAI!"

"Yeeeaahh! A gift card to PetCo!" Kiba shouted triumphantly.

"I got a fortune cookie and a couple new scrolls!" TenTen exclaimed.

"I got...the perfect tooth paste for maintaining a flawless smile!" Lee announced, holding up some Colgate and flashing his "flawless smile" while striking a heroic pose.

Neji hid his gift back in his box rather quickly, but he looked happy. Kankuro was hovering over his new favorite food, thanking Sai while licking his lips hungrily.

Gaara was sitting dejectedly, holding up his new tube of eyeliner. "Doesn't he know I hate pencil? It smears!" he muttered, accepting the gift nonetheless.

"I got a pic of Sai in a tuxedo," Shikamaru was saying slowly as Sasuke groaned, crawling out from behind the door that nearly crushed him.

"He's _naked_ in my pic..." Ino replied slowly, looking at hers with slight curiosity and turning it every which way. Luna put a palm against her face, shaking her head as she started laughing. Naruto had been laughing for a good three minutes already.

"How about me?" Sasuke suddenly asked, making Naruto and Luna stop laughing and look over at him. Sai, who was currently practically dancing around the place, stopped suddenly with an inquisitive noise.

"Oh, of course, Sasu-chaaan!" he exclaimed, throwing a present at him. It hit Sasuke smack in the face, and Luna sweatdropped. "Wow."

"That would be what I call a 'Geezuz-That-Hurts No Jutsu'!" Naruto commented, making her start laughing all over again. They watched Sasuke tear through the paper and open the box to reveal...

"Ohhh boy," Naruto said slowly, shaking his head as Sasuke held up his present dejectedly. He held it up to Sai, standing back up. "A SOCK?"

"Not just ANY sock...a FLYING sock!" Sai replied, smiling as if he'd picked out the perfect gift. Even Sakura started laughing at Sasuke as he stared at Sai, who was still smiling obliviously.

"WHAT THE HELL!" he demanded to know, making Luna and Naruto burst out laughing all over again.

"My...My abs hurt!" Luna managed to get out.

"This...This is...more of a workout..._than_ a workout!" Naruto agreed.

"I don't even know why...I'm...still laughing!" Sakura replied, making them laugh even harder.

"...It must be the hot chocolate," Kiba commented, and Hinata promptly poured hers out into a random flowerpot with a little squeak of surprise. "G-Good thing I never drank it!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS****LATER...**_

"I _knew _she shouldn't have drank that hot chocolate," Naruto said with a shake of the head as Luna continued to try and walk in a straight line at Sakura's request.

Her and Ino were currently laughing their asses off, and Luna giggled herself before hiccuping at the end. She clutched her chest, making a face. "Owww..."

"Dude, she looks just about _wasted_," Kiba commented as Sakura caught Luna before she keeled over, both girls laughing uncontrollably.

"Yeah, chocolate does that to her."

"...Talk about a drag," Shikamaru said with a sweatdrop as Ino and Sakura drug Luna over to the couch as she continued to moan about how much hiccups hurt.

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck before sighing. "Yeah, something tells me it's time to take her home."

"Oh yeah, she's livin' with ya, right?" Shika asked, still a bit slurred with his words. _Wonder what the hell __**he**__ was drinkin'._

Naruto nodded. "Yeeeah."

"Jeez, Small Fry! It's only been, what, a few months?" Temari asked, obviously shocked to hear this one rumor in particular was true. Naruto waved his hands frantically as if stopping traffic. "No, it's nothing like that! She just has a huge roach problem! That's all! Once it's fixed, she'll be outta there in no time!"

Temari and Shikamaru exchanged a smirk. "Right. Of course she will." Naruto opened his mouth to continue defending himself, but then Luna started laughing again, making them all jump.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! ...Did you see that? THE SOCK, _IT REALLY FLIES_!" she exclaimed, pointing at Sasuke's present, which he'd tossed onto Sakura's den's ceiling fan. Sasuke had turned the fan on, claiming it was hot in there, and the sock had flown off.

Naruto rolled his eyes, standing above her as she continued to lay on the couch. "C'mon, Loon, your hyperness is startin' to scare me."

She pouted up at him. "Awww, but I wanna stay! What if the sock flies some more?"

"Yeah, well, Santa can't come if we're stuck at Sakura's all night!"

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he grabbed his coat. "I forgot about that...No wonder everyone else left early! NARUTO, WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" he shouted, nearly tripping over himself.

Sakura sweatdropped. "...Sasuke-"

"Bye, Sakura," he said distractedly, but took enough time out of his frantic running to hesitantly kiss her on the cheek. THAT sure made her shut up.

Naruto cocked his head towards the door, which Sasuke was heading for. "C'mon, let's go home, alright?"

She stared up at him for a few more seconds before sighing heavily, swaying dangerously after hopping to her feet. "O-Okaaay." Naruto rolled his eyes and picked her up, making her giggle and hiccup some more.

Temari, Shikamaru, Ino, and Sakura watched with fresh sweatdrops. Sasuke held the door open. "I'll help you," he commented with a sweatdrop as Luna continued to giggle. "...Who _knows _what she'll do?" he added.

Naruto nodded. "Thanks." He noticed that Sasuke gave Sakura a look, and it suddenly made her turn serious as she nodded slowly, but he had no idea what that look meant.

* * *

Luna continued to giggle for a while, making the other two's temples throb more and more with each passing minute. Finally, Naruto shouted, "WHAT'S SO DAMN FUNNY?".

She looked up at him, smiling all innocent-like. "I was just thinking about shakemilks and how much I'd like one."

"...How is that funny?" Sasuke wondered. Him and Luna then watched as Naruto set her down on her feet with a heavy sigh, stomping off. "I'll be baaaack..."

Sasuke sweatdropped, looking at Luna, who was grinning like crazy. "Where's he going?"

She looked over at him, continuing to smile. "My guess is to purchase a shakemilk. THAT'S what's so funny." Sasuke chuckled and shook his head as they heard Naruto grumbling to himself as he searched for one in the nearby stores, making her giggle again.

"Well, I'll be damned. Looks like you've got him wrapped around your finger," he commented. Luna shrugged. "I wouldn't say that. I think this is just what families do for each other. My brother does the same all the time."

"Family?" he wondered. "Naruto doesn't have any family." _So, she has a brother..._

Luna smiled at him again. "That's what I thought, too. But Santa man told me that _we're_ his family. Sakura, you, Sai, Iruka, Kakashi, Jiraiya, all those close to him. They're his new family. And now...it looks like I'm part of that, too," she said thoughtfully. "I guess Santa man was right after all."

Sasuke nodded. "He tends to be. Ahhh, Santa. He's such a great guy." He glanced around until he found a clock, then sighed. "Forty minutes 'till midnight. We better hurry."

"Why?"

"Santa Clause comes to start delivering presents at midnight exactly. If you're not asleep by then, he won't give you presents! ...And I live on the outskirts of Konoha, practically!" Sasuke exclaimed, obviously getting slightly-panicky.

He made a noise of surprise when Luna patted his arm, still swaying precariously. "Don't worry, Sasuke. I think we'll be fine. Besides...you've been very good this year, I think. So if you're not asleep when he gets there, I'm sure he'll just put a dot by your name or something so that he'll go back to your house later. That sounds like something someone as great and smart as Santa man would do, dontchya think?"

"Yeah...Yeah, it does," he said thoughtfully. Then Naruto finally came back, milkshake in hand, and Luna's entire face lit up. "YES! Thank you!" she said happily, slurping it rather loudly as Naruto resumed carrying her. Sasuke shook his head at the two as they talked about waffles and how come neither of them bothered to tell Santa they wanted some._ ...This can't be good. Naruto, what've you gotten yourself into?_

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

Luna had fallen asleep halfway there, and Sasuke was carrying her milkshake. The damn milkshake Naruto had scoured a third of Konoha for with his Shadow Clones. Why he did that when he already had an epic Christmas present he'd been working on for weeks waiting for her, Naruto had no idea.

Just like he had no idea why he went all-out with her Christmas present in particular. Naruto guessed it was because whether he liked it or not, she was eventually going to have to leave, after they _eventually _got Orochimaru and Alex off their backs.

Also, she'd never celebrated Christmas before, so her first one should be one she wouldn't easily forget. Yeah. That was it.

When they finally got to Naruto's, he grabbed the keys (he remembered this time so he wouldn't have to dig in her pockets and torture his perverted mind even further) and unlocked his door. "You can just set that on the floor or something," Naruto informed Sasuke, referring to the milkshake.

Sasuke did so before clearing his throat. "Um, Naruto-"

"Hold on, lemme just drop her in bed. ...She's getting heavy," he muttered. After setting her down, she immediately rolled over onto the side he usually slept in (after watching tv or something until late at night so he knew she was asleep before crawling in, that way she couldn't kick him out) and curling herself up. Naruto shook his head before shutting his bedroom door.

Sasuke was waiting by the open door, obviously ready to go home before Santa Clause made his rounds. "So you were sayin'?" Naruto asked, looking around suspiciously to make sure Luna wasn't coming around to corner before drinking some of her milkshake.

"Look, Naruto, it's about Luna," Sasuke began. Naruto waited. "...And?" he prompted.

"Well, see, Sakura and I are just worried...she's with you for other reasons." Naruto felt his pulse beat a little faster. Did they know about her being a spy?

"...Whaddaya mean?" he asked, deciding to pretend he didn't know what he was talking about. Sasuke sighed. "Well...we think she might be a spy for some enemy. And...more frankly, we think...she might be hired to kill you."

Naruto scoffed. "Tha-That's stupid! What makes ya think that?"

Sasuke held up his hand, counting off on his fingers. "Think about it. She just HAPPENS to meet you by chance that day? And she just HAPPENS to be interested in you? And she just HAPPENS to agree so quickly to stay with you this long? And she just HAPPENS to be some sort of...of...'Agent', was it? An Agent willing to betray the people she works for, all for a guy? And of course, she just so HAPPENS to have an almost complete immunity to the chakra of the Nine-Tailed Fox. Do you have any idea what all that means?"

Sasuke paused at the shocked look on Naruto's face. "...Wait...She's immune to the Fox chakra?"

He nodded. "Tsunade herself said so. Said the blood has little to no effect on her, other than a bit of a burning sensation, which she easily cured. Don't you get it? Lemme offer up a scenario for you. Her mission is to kill you, right? Don't you get how easy that'd be? She knows you'd never see it coming, because you think she's legitimately interested in you, maybe even loves you. She can kill you without any problem from the Nine-Tailed Fox, because she's immune."

Naruto hated to do it, but he considered what Sasuke was saying.

"You do understand that that's what spies and assassins are trained to do, right? To be able to fake emotions at the drop of a hat. And _well_, might I add. Trust me. Naruto, she's playing you, and she's going to kill you if you don't do anything about it," Sasuke said grimly.

Naruto was silent for a long time, but finally, he cleared his throat. "Don't you need to get home before Santa?"

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto, don't be a dumbass! Just...take heed from what I said. Alright? Don't let her fool you, and...be ready when the time comes."

"If you're so convinced she's hired to kill me, why haven't you confronted her about it?" Naruto wondered.

He rolled his eyes. "We can't do that, dobe. Obviously she's a pretty good actress. We've gotta pretend we haven't caught on to what she's up to. That way, if she by chance lets something slip and we get proof, we can alert Tsunade. ANBU will have her in custody and being questioned in no time." Sasuke stared at him. "...Will you help us?"

Naruto didn't answer, and Sasuke nodded. "Good. You're thinking about it, I can tell. ...Please don't be an idiot, Naruto." And with that, he left.

Naruto stood there drinking that milkshake for a good ten minutes, until the sound of it being slurped dry snapped him back to reality.

He sighed heavily, taking his jacket off. After getting into his pajamas, trying not to look at Luna the whole time as she continued to sleep, he ran a hand through his spiky mess of hair before crawling in himself.

He gently rolled her over to her side of the bed, and she swatted his hand away with a groan. "No...No pickles on my taco, please," she muttered.

"...What?"

She yawned in response, blinking her eyes open. "Hm?"

"You said 'No pickles on my taco, please,'" he informed her. She giggled while he continued to think about what Sasuke said. "I did? Huh. Weird. ..." she was quiet for a minute, and he could feel her eyes on him as he continued to look up at the ceiling. He would've told her to go back to sleep, but he was too deep in thought to care at the moment.

Everything Sasuke said made perfect sense; knowing the Agency, he wouldn't put it past them to plan for her to give him this whole sob-story about how terrible the Agency is. And then she'd kill him when he least expected it.

"...Naruto?"

Though he hated to admit it, when she poked the side of his face, a single thought went through his head._ Like now. She's gonna kill me right about now._

Then he felt really guilty for it when she sat up and looked at him, worry written all over her face. "...Did the Santa man forget to come by and deliver our presents because you weren't asleep the first time?" she asked carefully.

He looked at her for a second, and then he just started laughing. No idea why, it hadn't even been that funny. The look on Luna's face suggested she didn't see the funny side, either. But she smiled either way, shaking her head and laying back down.

After he stopped laughing, he stared at her for the longest time, trying to figure her out. She stared right back at him, eyes drooping further and further. Soon enough, she was asleep, and Naruto still hadn't gotten any further in making sense of this whole thing.

He didn't want to believe Sasuke, but at the same time...it fit so perfectly. And could it really be just a coincidence that she happened to be immune to the one thing that would absolutely ensure he'd live if she suddenly decided to point her gun at him?

He sighed and gently brushed the hair out of her face, wondering how one stupid girl could cause him so much trouble.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THAT**____**MORNING**__**...**_

Luna woke up first. As usual. But this time, whether she was proud of it or not, she was _so _excited. She sat straight up, shaking Naruto.

"Naruto! Hey, wake up!"

"Unhhhh, whaaaat?" he asked with a groan, covering his head with his pillow.

"Wake up, moron, it's Christmas!" she said happily. He suddenly shot straight up, making her make a squawk-like noise as she fell off the bed in surprise. "HELL YEAH! CHRISTMAS! ...Get up, Loon, jeez," he said excitedly as he ran out of the room.

Temple throbbing, she stood and stomped after him. The big tree had presents underneath it, and Naruto had already went immediately to the first one visible with his name on it.

Luna looked at them dazedly before finding one with her name on it and going to town, ripping the paper off. "YES! RAMEN!" Naruto exclaimed, cradling his giant package happily. "I ask him for ramen every year, and without fail, I get some," he explained proudly.

She nodded, then grinned at her present. "YEAH! MORE POP-TARTS, OF EVERY FLAVOR I LIKE!"

"MORE MONEY TO BLOW ON RAMEN!" he shouted next, having opened his next present.

"NEW BULLETS!" Luna squealed happily, bouncing excitedly. "I can't _wait _to load these. These are new issue, too; I've never seen these before!"

Naruto gulped. "...Please don't use those on me."

Luna waved him off. "Naaah, I'd use my _old _bullets on you. Wouldn't wanna waste these just yet!" she said happily, making him droop.

"...That's not what you were supposed to say..."

Naruto opened his final present, and Luna paused in unwrapping hers to watch. Inside the box was... "What the hell is this?" Naruto wondered.

Luna stood and bent down to peer at it over his shoulder. Her hair was tickling his face, and he swatted it away, but she didn't really care. She tilted her head this way and that, then finally sighed. "...Huh. I dunno. Try pushing that button," she commented, pointing to the only visible button on the little contraption.

It was shaped sort of like a tazer, yet at the same time looked more like a pocket knife, with a little reflector on the end like a flashlight.

Naruto pressed it, and a beam promptly shot out, burning a hole through the couch. "HOLY CRAP!" they both shouted, and he spastically tried to turn it off.

"TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF!"

"I'M TRYING, I'M TRYIIING!" he shouted back, finally pressing the button and making it stop. They stared down at the object, breathing heavily from the excitement.

"...There's a note," Naruto announced, putting his hand back inside the box. He pulled out a sheet of Christmasy paper with fancy calligraphic writing. "Well, read it," Luna said, making him jump.

"Oh. Right. It saaays... 'Naruto, you might need this. I have a feeling you'll know how to use it when the time comes. I hope you succeed. Merry Christmas to you both! -Santa. ...PS: Don't use this inside your house. I'm almost a hundred percent sure it'll cost you some money in repairs if you do.'"

They both looked at the gaping hole in the couch with large sweatdrops. "...Probably shoulda read that note first."

"You think?"

He suddenly brightened, jumping to his feet and dragging her out of the room, to a storage closet in which she had grabbed those blankets that first night.

"Okay, you're not gonna believe what I got you," he said smugly. "Close your eyes." Luna eyed him warily, but did as he said and closed her eyes tightly. "Aaaand...open!"

She opened her eyes and... "...What is it?" she wondered, looking up at the huge mound that was covered with tons and tons of shiny wrapping paper.

"Open it, idiot."

She stuck her tongue out at him before ripping off all the paper at once. She gaped at the huge pile in disbelief. "So...THIS is why you kept going to that store!" It was a practically-life-time-supply of Flavor-Blasted Goldfish.

"Yeah, I know. I'm awesome, aren't I?" he said smugly, obviously enjoying her total shock. Luna sniffled a little before wiping at her eyes. She never thought she'd be tearing up at the sight of Goldfish of all things, but...it was almost like...a part of her childhood that used to be good. One she'd love to get back, and Flavor-Blasted Goldfish was the only possible way. And she knew Naruto knew that.

She took one of the boxes out of the stack and opened it, taking out a handful of Goldfish. "Want some?" she asked Naruto, who was leaning against the wall.

"Sure."

She gave him some, but not before kissing him on the cheek. "...Thank you. This Christmas thing, and your present? It...It means more to me than you'll ever know. Alright?" she said sincerely, smiling and kissing his cheek again before handing him the handful of Goldfish.

"A-A-Alright," he managed to get out, turning a little red before downing the Goldfish.

_Yeah, leaving you's gonna suck,_ Luna thought to herself as they continued to try and figure out the laser-like object he'd gotten.

_...Guess I'll just have to enjoy this while I can._

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHU-"

_**RIIIING.**_

"Awwww," the teens all whined, leaving Tara to answer her phone. She groaned herself, having been fully enjoying the huge supply of blood they'd gotten her for Christmas.

This was the first time they'd all been out and able to celebrate Christmas in at least ten years, and it was great to be doing it. ...Even if half her charges were in other worlds. She wondered what Luna and the others were doing, but then she had to answer her phone before it hung up on the other person.

Missing a call from one of her superiors would bode ill for them all.

"Hello?" Tara said pleasantly, wiping at her mouth and licking the blood off her fingers. Mmm, B blood. My personal favorite.

_"Agent Surandon. I believe a very important Subject is still out in the field."_

Oh no. She had forgotten about the deadline. Tara gulped, trying to keep her voice calm and neutral. "...Oh. My apologies, sir. Getting in touch with the Subject is hard when she's in another world."

_"Agent Surandon, your sarcasm is not needed at the moment. I have already told you, we cannot keep the other Allied Powers waiting much longer. They are beginning to doubt we have any potential Subjects at all."_

"Sir, I'm afraid there's not much I can do. Connection has been down for quite a while. Her reports have stopped, but Agents Kensington, Kurosaki, and Kuchiki have assured me all is well. It _could _be that connection only works when one is in Konoha or another of their Nations as well."

_"Then I **suggest **you get your ass down there and make contact with that Subject, Agent!"_ he bellowed, obviously starting to lose his cool.

Tara waited patiently for him to continue, knowing he had more to say.

_"...You have until the beginning of the new year, Agent Surandon. On December 31st, we will be taking matters into our own hands. Establish contact with the Subject. If not, her motives and allegiance to the Agency will be severely questioned, and I cannot promise her defiant ways will continue to go unpunished. This **will **be the final straw. Understood?"_

She swallowed hard, her hands shaking. "...Understood, sir," she said in a clipped voice.

_"...Very good. This conversation is over."_

"Acknowledged," she said stiffly before hanging up, slamming the phone down. Will poked his head into the room. "...Tara? Everything alright?"

She smiled at him, but inside she felt absolutely miserable as she heard his thoughts. Almost all of them were expressing worry and slight hope that it had been his little sister on the other line.

"...Everything's fine. ...I could use some more blood," she said with a mischievous grin. Ayumi did the honors of popping the top off of the next packet, and Renji got his wallet out.

"Let the bets begin!"


	27. The Crap Hits the Fan

**Back! HAPPY EARLY NEW YEAR! **

**...Y'all are gonna really hate me at the end of this. That's all I gotta say. Weeeelll, read, review, review some more, and enjoy! :D**

* * *

Luna sighed and rolled over again, feeling restless. Again. This was the fourth night in a row, too.

Naruto was already fast asleep. Since he was beside her when she first woke up, she figured it had to be some time after one in the morning. It usually was when she woke up.

For some reason, for the past few days, she'd felt a serious foreboding. Like something huge was about to happen. Of what magnitude or nature, she had no idea.

But it was big. And it was bad. And on top of that, Naruto was acting weird as well. Sometimes she'd catch him staring at her with this really weird look on his face; like he was trying to solve a math equation or something. Whenever she asked him about it, he just gave her some lame excuse.

She knew none of them came even close to the real explanation. She could tell by his fake smile. _Well...as to the anxiety, maybe that's being brought on by what Alex said a while back. About the Agency dragging me out by my hair. Even though I know that wouldn't happen, they have no good reason! ...But..._

Luna frowned, turning over to face Naruto. "That still doesn't explain _your_ anxiety," she muttered thoughtfully, wondering if staring at him long enough would make this all make any more sense.

After a couple minutes, she had a sudden thought. "Is _that_ why you keep staring at me? Am I not making sense to you?" she wondered.

Not that she expected an answer. He was fast asleep and snoring. That was another thing; now that she thought about it, he hadn't been behaving normal...at all.

He wasn't laughing as much. He wasn't touching her as much to piss her off. He wasn't pissing her off in _general_ as much.

The longer she thought about it, and the longer her mental list of his weird behavior got, the worse she felt. Her stomach was hurting, churning violently. This whole thing made her feel nervous as anything.

Eventually, she sighed and sat up. After looking at him one more time, she left the room, not bothering to put on jeans or anything.

Luna quietly went out the front door, shutting it behind her. It was hella cold, for sure, but she didn't really care. Even if she _was_ in a thin long-sleeved shirt and short boxer shorts. She'd been in worse conditions.

She started walking, not knowing why she wanted to but doing it anyway. Eventually, she decided she might as well talk to Tsunade like the latter had told her to do, so she headed for the Hokage Building.

"...Aren't the Sasakis wondering where you are?"

Luna jumped and stopped walking abruptly, turning to look at Jiraiya. He was sitting on a bench, looking at her calmly. She sighed and shook her head. "No, I don't think they are. They might be wondering other things about me, though..."

He stared at her for a moment longer before patting the spot on the bench beside him. "C'mere, kiddo. I think it's time you told me what you're _really_ doing here."

Luna hesitantly sat down. "That might take quite a while. See, I believe I would have to start from the very beginning. Back when I was eight or nine."

"We've got nothin' _but_ time," he replied cooly, making her temple throb. "Obviously you rubbed off on Naruto. He tells me that all the time," she muttered, making him laugh.

"C'mon, quit stallin'. Let's have it."

She paused, unsure if she should just tell this man all she was hiding. _Then again...if Naruto trusts you...and my parents trusted you...and NARUTO'S parents trusted you...Oh, damn it all, I'm going to hell anyways._

"Well, you see, it started not long after I moved in with the Sasakis..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO****HOURS LATER...**_

When she was done telling him...well, _everything_, they were both silent for a while.

"...The Sasakis are dead."

"Yes."

"And you killed them."

"Y-Yes."

"But you only killed them because this Snake Man you're talking about took over your mind."

"Correct."

"And this Agency you work for got you and that Will kid off the streets, so you have to work for them?"

"Unfortunately."

"And so you and Naruto aren't really dating, you're just protecting one another. Also, you killed your _actual_ boyfriend, who betrayed you and the people you work with. But now he's risen from the grave, and was behind the deaths of those ANBU, and who knows what else."

"Yes."

"...Oh. Okay. I'm just glad it's not complicated," he muttered halfheartedly, making her chuckle despite herself.

"Yeah, I'm used to things being complicated for me. ...Say, Jiraiya...Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, kid."

"Naruto has told me you know just about all there is to know, and I was wondering...Do you...have any advice on how to prepare to leave someone behind?" she asked earnestly.

He looked at her strangely. "Leaving someone behind? I don't get it."

"Well...My mission here will soon be over, and...Alex has told me that the Agency is considering forcing me out of here by the end of the month. Either way, I will be leaving, and I'll be leaving too soon. ...I made a mistake," she admitted after a moment of thought.

"We all make mistakes."

"No, but this is a _huge_ mistake," she insisted, shaking her head.

"Sure, you've killed some people. It happens."

She sweatdropped at how casual he was before shaking her head. "No, not that. I made a huge mistake in that...I..." she trailed off before hugging herself, starting to feel the cold for the first time. "...I allowed myself to feel."

Jiraiya paused before patting her shoulder. "Luna...You _really_ care for him, don't you?"

She nodded, looking at the ground. "Yes, I do, and...I don't understand how I let it happen. Agents aren't supposed to care for _anyone_, see. Since we're always on the move, it would be illogical to _do_ something like that. But...I came here, and...slowly...I started feeling again. And it's not just Naruto, it's...everybody. I'm starting to care deeply for Sakura, and Sasuke, and Sai, and Iruka, and Shizune, and Hinata, and Temari, and TenTen, and Tsunade...All of them, and...and...I'm not supposed to let myself do that!" she insisted, her voice breaking.

"I can't just _let_ myself befriend people I know I'll be leaving, and this is why! I should've known this would happen, but I guess...I'm so good at what I do, and so good at acting that...it slowly stopped being an act," she admitted quietly.

Jiraiya ruffled her hair. "Hey, dry your eyes. You wanna know somethin'?"

She nodded, wiping at her eyes like he said. "Y-Yes."

"I have a feeling the Agency told you all that about not letting yourself feel. But you know...some of the greatest people I know feel just about every emotion there is. Your parents sure did. And because they let themselves feel, they got _you_ out of it. And because Minato and Kushina felt, they got Naruto out of it, and _to this day_...because of how Minato let himself feel, he's still one of the most beloved Hokages Konoha has ever seen! And man, back when you and your mom used to visit me from time to time...Well, you certainly let yourself feel THEN. In fact, your mom wouldn't even lemme kill bugs in my own house while you were there, because it used to make you upset on their behalf!"

He started laughing at that, and she laughed herself. Mostly at the irony of it all. He put a hand on her shoulder again. "But I guess no matter what I say, you still have to leave for at least a little while, right?"

She nodded, swallowing hard. She didn't have it in her to tell him she'd most likely never be back.

"Well, if you're gonna leave someone...My advice would be to enjoy it while it lasts...And whatever you do, _don't_ make yourself worry. If you spend your time worrying, you won't be able to spend it living."

Luna nodded thoughtfully. "...Got it. Thank you, Jiraiya." He smiled at her before standing up with a tired groan. "Weeeell, the sun's just about ready to start coming up. You should probably get back to Naruto's, before he starts worryin'."

She frowned as she took his hand he had offered and he helped her up. "That reminds me...Something's different with him lately. He's just...he stares at me a lot like I confuse him, and when I ask, he gives me a stupid excuse. And he keeps flashin' that fake smile of his. ...It makes me worry. Something's really bothering him, and I just can't figure out for the life of me what it is."

Jiraiya nodded thoughtfully before smirking. "Well, knowing Naruto, you'll probably know soon enough. Kid can't keep _anything _bottled in worth a damn. I'm sure he'll be shoutin' it out to the world soon. ...Whatever it is." He started to walk off, then turned around to look at her. "Get some sleep, Luna. You look like you haven't slept in days."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTY****MINUTES LATER...**_

When she finally got back to Naruto's, Luna opened the door to see it looking messier than usual. "...Naruto?" she called out. "Are you awake already?"

She heard something crash, and whipped out her gun immediately, cocking it. Luna carefully crept through the hallway before turning the corner with her gun aimed and at the ready.

"AHHHH! DON'T SHOOT!" Naruto shouted, making her shout and spastically put her gun back in her boxers' waistband. "SORRY, SORRY!" she exclaimed as he sighed in relief, hand on his chest.

"Jeez, Loon, where the hell were you?"

"Out."

"Well, I kinda figured. Y'know, since I even looked under the _couch_ and couldn't find you," he muttered groggily with a yawn. Luna sighed and smiled before pushing him towards his room. "Go back to bed, moron. I'm back _now_, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but where were you?"

"Couldn't sleep. So I just walked around until I got tired."

"...Oh. Okay," he said sleepily as she got on her side and slid under the covers. She waited expectantly for him to put an arm around her waist, play with her hair, strategically try to get closer, ANYTHING like what he normally did to piss her off!

But he didn't do any of that. And after accepting the fact that she'd just have to stay cold the rest of the night, Luna sighed heavily and closed her eyes.

_Naruto...What the hell's going on?_

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

Once he was sure she was fast asleep, he glanced at the clock. Ten in the morning. For a moment, he frowned and looked at her carefully. _You __**never**__ sleep this late...Well, you're still breathing. That's good. ...I guess._

With a sigh, he got dressed in the dark and grabbed a package of some Goldfish before going outside. He headed straight for Sasuke's, pounding on the door. _I can't believe I'm doing this._

Sasuke opened the door after a few moments, already dressed and everything. "Naruto?"

"I'll do it."

"...Do what?"

"I'll help you. With Luna."

Sasuke stared at him in obvious disbelief, and after a moment he put his hand on the doorway and leaned towards him so as not to be overheard. "...You're _sure _you won't back out?"

Naruto's expression didn't change. "I have to know, Sasuke. It's driving me crazy not to know exactly what her mission is!"

He stared at him a little longer before nodding grimly. "Alright. Let's go tell Sakura; I think she had an idea on how to get some answers...and some evidence."

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN****HOUR OR SO LATER...**_

Luna woke up with a grunt, blinking her eyes open slowly. She stretched before sitting up to find Naruto gone. Her temple throbbed. "Is this his idea of payback or something for earlier? Hold on, wait, what time is it?"

She grabbed her phone and groaned. "Awww, eleven already?" With another groan, she forced herself out of bed, rubbing her eyes tiredly and getting dressed. She heard the door open as she was slipping on her shirt, and poked her head out from Naruto's room as she pulled her hair out of aforementioned shirt. "Hell-ooo?" she called out.

Naruto ran in, looking relieved. "Oh, there you are!"

"Where else would I be?"

"Good question. Saaaay, listen, Sakura was looking for you. She told me to tell you to go see her."

"Is something wrong?" Luna asked, brows furrowed.

"...No. Pfft, why would you think that?"

She sweatdropped. "Well, let's see. You look like you just ran five miles, you're sweating, you look nervous, and you're all jittery. Normally, I categorize that along with something being wrong."

"Nooo, nothing's wrong! I'm just...um...I really had toooo...to...USE THE BATHROOM! Yeah, that's why I look like I ran. Because I _did _run! And so now I'm here, an- ...Sakura looked angry," Naruto said suddenly, nodding. "You should probably go see what she wants."

Luna frowned, studying him. "...I don't believe _any_ of that, but...I guess you wouldn't tell me what's really going on, anyways. So...I guess I'll see you later?"

"Sure."

Her frown deepened as she shook her head and left. _Whatever the hell you're up to, you better get back to normal soon. ...Who knows how long I'll be here...I don't wanna spend it with you acting all weird._

* * *

As soon as she left, Naruto sighed heavily. "You're killing me, Loon!" he groaned as he stomped off to his room. For whatever reason, it seemed to be practically impossible for him to lie to her. "Dammit, it's probably some Super-Spy Tactic of hers."

Her bags were still on the floor, and he sighed again as he sat on his knees in front of them. "I can't believe I'm doing this..." He rifled through them, trying to ignore how guilty he felt. "Damn, you have a lot of clothes," he muttered as he tossed them every which way, trying to pause as little as possible with her underwear and such.

Although eventually he gave in and checked her bra size. After squinting a little, he let out a triumphant yell. "Ah-HA! I _knew_ she was a C! And she tried to tell me her boobs weren't all that great," he said with a scoff before tossing the bra behind him like he had with all the other clothes.

Finally, he found what he was looking for. SOMETHING useful. It was a spiral notebook. "Please be something useful, PLEASE be something usefuuuul!"

But flipping through it, he realized they were just doodles. "Are you KIDDING ME?" he exclaimed, facepalming.

He should've known there'd be nothing there. "...Huh, you're actually pretty good at these," he commented thoughtfully, looking at random pages of everything from junk food to random people on random streets.

There was even one of the Nine-Tailed Fox, and it was so accurate it kind of unnerved him a little.

And then he saw one that made him freeze. It was a picture of Orochimaru. He was standing in the corner of what looked like the room he'd seen in the Manor of Sleep, the one that used to be Luna's. Especially what with the little stars drawn on the ceiling.

He was smiling that creepy smile of his, and a scarily-accurate version of Mini Luna was pointing towards the door in a "GET THE HELL OUT!" kind of motion. Naruto sat on his butt instead of his knees, staring at it.

"So...Snake Man...is Orochimaru? Oh, _crap_...She's gonna be so _pissed_ when she finds out..." he said with a heavy sigh before turning the page, not able to look at it any more. There wasn't much left, and he set the spiral back in her bag before piling some clothes on top of it.

In one of her many pairs of jeans, he felt a lump in the pocket. "...Huh?" he wondered, digging into the pocket. He pulled out some paper that looked like it'd been folded, and unfolded, and refolded at least a hundred times.

Naruto skimmed it over thoughtfully.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Tara,**_

_I am sorry. I feel as if I have failed you, confronting you like this. But I feel it is necessary for my sanity's sake. ...I know my full name. I know of the Sasakis. And I know you knew about it all. _

_You had to have known, and I realize that now. The Agency knows, hears, and sees all. It is entirely illogical for me to ever have assumed otherwise. On top of this outright deceit, I feel it is entirely illogical for me to place my allegiance to The Agency much longer. _

_I am aware of the consequences of this decision, and I fully intend to suffer such consequences. I understand that failure to comply with the laws of The Agency will result in my assassination or incarceration. If incarcerated, I would most likely also be charged with two counts of murder in the first degree (I am sure you know of the Sasakis by now as well), leading to a life in prison or being sentenced to death. I also understand that I will be charged as an adult, so I will have no bargains such as "Juvie" or "Community Service". _

_Why have I chosen this? I know that's what you're wondering. What everyone will be wondering. Shall I tell you the real reason, or the reason I shall give The Agency? I believe I have known you long enough to know the real reason shall be safe within your mind. This latest mission...has changed me. In more ways than anyone, even you, could possibly understand. I now understand that what I've been doing for The Agency may be justified, but that does not make it right. And that does not mean I can handle the consequences that have plagued my mind. The guilt of all the targets I've annihilated is tearing me apart. _

_If you recall, I never asked to be part of The Agency in the first place. That was a decision made by my brother, who would have done anything to keep me from starving. He may be accustomed to this whole assassination business, but I am not. Nor have I ever been. And Naruto Uzumaki, along with the rest of Konoha, has slowly helped me realize that. _

_I've also come to realize that The Agency is more corrupt than I ever could have imagined, and I am sure they want nothing more than to keep me until I die. Therefore, I shall not give them the satisfaction. I realize I have two options: run, or die. I choose...to not run from my problems any longer. I choose the right to die knowing I have atoned for all the wrong I've done, all the grief and pain I've caused, and that my death was chosen by me and me alone. _

_I hope you can understand. Consider this my letter of resignation. I hope to give this to you upon returning to The Agency after succeeding in the protection of Naruto Uzumaki and annihilation of Orochimaru on behalf of Kohlie Hajisuki. ...Killing Alex would be a nice little bonus as well. I'll explain him to you later._

_Burn after reading. _

**_-_**_Luna _**_Sasaki_**

* * *

Naruto read it about eight times, three of which were just to make sure he understood it right. "...Okay...Now I feel _really_ guilty," he grumbled, putting all the clothes back in her bag before standing up. Sasuke was waiting for him at Sakura's, and he handed him the letter without a word.

Naruto looked around as he read it, sweatdropping. "...Where the hell are her parents?"

"They're almost never here," Sasuke replied thoughtfully. "I think she said this time they were off on another mission or something."

Naruto groaned, feeling a pang as the word "mission" made him think of Luna. "Dude, don't say 'mission'...It makes me feel like even more of an ass."

"Why would you feel like more of an ass than usual?" Sasuke asked, making his temple throb.

"Alright, you know what? Read that whole thing, Emo Boy. THEN tell me YOU don't feel like an ass!" Naruto waited patiently for Sasuke to read it over, and eventually, his expression changed drastically. "...Oh..."

"Yeah, uh-huh. Now tell me, Sasuke. How does that make you feel?"

"...Like an ass," he admitted in a grumble, drooping. Naruto grinned, cupping a hand to his ear dramatically. "Oh, I'm sorry, WHAT was that?"

Sasuke's temple throbbed. "Dobe, don't push it. I think you're a _bigger_ ass."

"ME?"

"Yeah, for not trusting your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend! Didn't you read that letter at ALL? She's _proooteeectiiing_ me, stupid!"

He walked over to Sasuke, took the letter, and pointed to one sentence in particular. "'I hope to give this to you upon returning to The Agency after succeeding in the _protection_ of Naruto Uzumaki and annihilation of Orochimaru on behalf of Kohlie Hajisuki.' See!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I see it. Who the hell's Alex?" Naruto grew guilty all over again just _thinking_ about the last time she'd seen that douchebag. "Her ex-boyfriend. She kinda killed him?"

Sasuke sweatdropped. "...You're kidding, right? And you _blame _us for thinking she'd kill you?"

"Moron, she killed him because he shot her damn brother!"

"...Oh. ...I feel like an ass all over again," Sasuke groaned, drooping again. Naruto sweatdropped with a sigh. "...This is gonna be a _long_ day."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Luna sighed heavily as Sakura shot her another look when she thought she wasn't looking. "Sakura, is there a problem?"

She smiled. "Problem? No, no problem."

Luna crossed her arms across her middle as they continued to search the store for stuff for Sakura's New Year's party. Because apparently a Christmas party just wasn't enough.

"Funny, that's what Naruto told me as well. If there's a problem, I'd rather be told about it."

"I'd tell you about it if there _were_ a problem," Sakura said matter-of-factly. Luna sighed again and moved in front of her. "Your fake smile tells me otherwise. You flash it every time you answer me. ...It's about me. You're suspicious of me, aren't you? And now...it seems like you have Naruto suspicious of me as well. It would explain why he looks so troubled lately."

Sakura opened her mouth to answer, but seemed to rethink it. After a few moments, she leaned towards Luna and lowered her voice. Her whole expression changed drastically, and Luna felt the urge to gulp despite herself.

"...Okay. I guess there's no point in blowing it off anymore. Yes. I'm _highly_ suspicious of you. We know you're an Agent. And we know you're with Naruto for... 'other reasons'. So why don't you just tell me the _real_ reason you're hanging around here?" she asked in a dangerous voice. Her eyes narrowed. "And I feel it's a good idea to inform you that if you try to hurt Naruto, I _will_ alert Tsunade and I _will_ kick your ass."

Luna stared back at her stonily. "...Very well. You wish to know the truth, yes? The truth is that I am here on behalf of The Agency to ensure Naruto's protection. He has also been ordered to protect me. We have a common enemy – two, actually. Originally it was just Orochimaru. Now it appears Alex, the man you treated in the hospital with the strange wound? He has his sights on us as well. ...That's my fault. But either way, I assure you that no harm will come to Naruto while I am here!"

They stared each other down for a long time, and finally, the white-knuckle grip Sakura had on her basket loosened. "...I guess I can believe that for now. But I'm warning you, the first sign that-"

"Save your threats and warnings, Sakura. You're giving them to the wrong person." Luna sighed heavily. "Besides...I have a feeling I won't be here much longer, anyways. I am not in their favor."

"Whose?" Sakura asked, obviously curious now.

"Who do you think? The Agency. They say I am 'too rebellious'. I plan to resign soon, but...I'm not looking forward to the consequences of that," she admitted with a shake of the head.

She then smiled at Sakura. "But don't worry about Naruto. I won't let anything happen to him. ...Well, beyond the usual abuse I give him."

Sakura laughed at that one, and shook her head before picking something off a shelf. "Let's just keep going."

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS****LATER...**_

"No way."

"Aw, c'mon!"

"Nooope."

"Pleeeease?"

"I am _not_ holding a stick that's on fire and sparking everywhere!" Luna exclaimed, crossing her arms defiantly as they continued to stand outside Sakura's house with random other people. Her temple throbbed as Naruto continued to whine. "...I'm starting to wonder why I missed you acting normal so much," she muttered to herself before groaning. "Okay, fine, FINE! ...Just one."

"YES! Okay, hold it at the very end like sooo," he explained, grabbing her hand and wrapping her fingers around the end of the stick. "Uchiha, if you please!"

Sasuke sighed, temple throbbing. "Couldn't you just use a lighter?"

"Ah, but a _lighter _doesn't get as pissed _off _as you do!" Naruto replied, making Luna bite her lip to hide her smile.

Sasuke sighed heavily. "Fiiine."

"He actually _agreed_," Luna commented with slight disbelief as he did his little hand signals. "Probably 'cause he feels like a total ass," Naruto replied simply.

Luna turned to look at him. "Lemme guess. Sakura isn't the only one who was suspicious of me." Naruto made a noise of surprise. "You knew?"

She jumped as the stick caught on fire, and then it turned into silver and gold sparks going all over the place. "Holy crap!" she exclaimed, and Naruto laughed. "Wave it around. Usually, if you do it fast enough, you can write your name."

"Really?" she asked in a tone of awe, doing as he said. Sasuke and Naruto watched with sweatdrops as she waved it as fast as possible (which was pretty damn fast) and spelled "Mississippi".

"HA! Betchya can't spell THAT!" she said smugly. Naruto narrowed his eyes at her challenge before grabbing another stick. "Sasuke! LIGHT ME!"

"With pleasure," Sasuke muttered, and Luna quickly clarified, "His STICK, Sasuke."

"Even better. Thanks, Luna. Now he'll NEVER get action before m-"

"N-Not THAT STICK, the one _outside_ of his pants!"

Naruto sweatdropped at their conversation. "...You're so weird. Both of you. Well, I take that back. Sasuke's just a moron."

"Watch it, dobe!" he snapped before doing his hand signals and making his little fireball. Naruto smirked proudly at Luna after spelling in the air "Missippi". "Ha! How about THAT!"

Luna sweatdropped, trying not to laugh. "...Naruto, you spelled it wrong."

"What? NO WAY!"

"Yes way. It's M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I."

"Well what the hell did _I _spell?"

"The way _Mississippians _say Mississippi, I believe," Luna replied thoughtfully. Naruto grinned. "Say Mississippi again."

"Mississippi?"

"Hahaha, that's a funny word!"

Luna and Sasuke exchanged an eye-roll. "...Wanna do another one?" Naruto asked with a sneaky grin.

"No."

He just continued to grin that creepy grin, and finally, she sighed. "...Yes!" she admitted grudgingly with a stomp of her foot, grabbing another of the sticks out of the pile and making the other two laugh.

Ino suddenly ran out, grinning at them. "You guys, the countdown's starting!"

"Countdown?" Luna wondered.

"Oh, it's no big deal," Naruto said quickly, but she had already ran inside. He looked at Sasuke, who smirked. "Try and talk your way out of _this _one, dobe. Hope you have good breath."

"Dammit, Sasuke!"

* * *

Luna ran inside to see what was going on and saw everyone crowded around Sakura's den tv. Some people, like Kiba and Rock Lee, were wearing little hats that said "HAPPY NEW YEAR!".

"What's going on?" Luna asked Sakura, who turned to smile at her. Naruto nearly ran Luna over, making her temple throb. "Calm yourself, jeez!"

Sakura pointed to the tv. "Well, deep downtown in Konoha they have this ball set up. It drops when the countdown stops, symbolizing the New Year has started."

"And then you kiss when the ball drops!" Ino added cheerfully. Luna gave them strange looks. "Kiss? _Why_?"

Sakura shrugged. "It's just one of those weird New Year traditions."

Ino looked around spastically. "That reminds me – where's Sai? We've got fifteen seconds!" she exclaimed before running off to find him.

Sakura smirked at them. "I better go find Sasuke. If Naruto has to suffer, so does he." When she left, Luna and Naruto exchanged a look. He huffed. "...I told you not to come inside."

"No, you simply said it was no big deal. You should've known that would make me _more _curious," she accused.

**"9, 8, 7...!"**

Luna rolled her eyes, noticing Naruto's panicked look. "Calm yourself. Sakura and Sasuke may know about us, but the rest of Konoha doesn't. If you look all panicky when you're kissing me, no one's gonna believe it. And _then _what?"

"Then you kick my ass?"

"Very good, you're learning!"

**"3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"**

Almost everyone around them looked at a person near them and leaned in for a kiss, so with a "Here Goes Nothing" look to each other, Naruto and Luna did the same.

It seemed to her like time just completely froze as soon as they made contact. All the noise around her disappeared, and her stomach started flipping like crazy. It was a weird reaction, one she wasn't used to. Once he pulled away, the noise came back tenfold, and her heart was pounding. She stared at him for a second, and he stared right back.

But then Rock Lee barreled through there, right between them. Neji soon followed. "GET BACK HERE, LEE!"

"NEJI, I'M SORRY! I HAD NO ONE ELSE TO KISS! IT WAS _JUST _A PECK ON THE CHEEK!"

"DAAAAMMMIIIIT, LEEEEE!"

Naruto and Luna sweatdropped a couple times. "...What just happened?"

"Good question," he replied.

Sasuke and Sakura were watching Lee and Neji run around her house with sweatdrops. Judging from Sakura's heavy blush and Sasuke's light one, Luna guessed Sakura had found him in time.

Luna took a deep breath after realizing she'd been _holding _her breath that whole time, nodding to herself. "I, um...I think I need some air. I'll...I'll be back," she mumbled before making a beeline for the door.

* * *

Once outside, she braced her back against the wall and covered her mouth with her hands, shaking her head. "I shouldn't have done that. I should _not_ have done that. That was really damn stupid, Luna. Why'd I run inside, anyway? I guess I figured it was a different countdown entirely...Oh, great job. What've I done now?"

"You've made Naruto very confused, _that's _what."

Luna jumped at the sudden noise, temple throbbing. "You just _really_ do not comprehend the meaning of the phrase 'I'll be right back,' do you?"

Naruto crossed his arms smugly. "You sound kinda..._formal_ there, Loon."

She sighed, shaking her head again. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Done what?"

"THAT."

"And what would this 'tha- ...Oh. Oh, you mean the _kiiiisss_," he said in a somewhat-triumphant tone. Luna huffed. "Stop sounding so smug! I saw your expression, you were thinking the same exact thing!"

"Only if you were thinking 'Dammit, I wanna do that again,'" he replied matter-of-factly before even thinking about it, making her head shoot up to stare at him.

"...What was that?"

"I said: Only if you were thinking 'Dammit, I hope I never have to do that again'." Luna shook her head, pushing herself off the wall to get closer to him. Usually that worked in staring people down that were taller than her.

"No, that's _not_ what you said."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it _is_!"

"No it _isn't_!"

"..."

"..."

"Yeah, you're right, it wasn't," he said simply. She was trying to think up a reply when he kissed her again, and even though it was admittedly a nice feeling, she pulled away. "The hell was that? ARE YOU CRAZY?" she exclaimed, temple throbbing.

"That's possible," he replied thoughtfully, looking at the ground like a scorned puppy. She felt so torn, it wasn't even funny. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't been happy just then, but...

_What to do? What? Any suggestions, sane part of my brain? Oh, c'mon, there's gotta be a sane part somewhere..._

_Wait...Wait...What was that advice Jiraiya gave me? About leaving? ...Uh...Uhhh...What was it? WHAT WAS IT? ...Ummm...OH! "Whatever you do, don't make yourself worry. If you spend your time worrying, you won't be able to spend it living." _

_...Don't worry..._

Luna nodded to herself determinedly before stepping closer to Naruto. She grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him to her before kissing him.

She could feel the surprised expression still on his mouth, but it soon softened, and he was kissing her back. All her pent-up emotions – the fear, anxiety, turmoil – went into that kiss, and the ones after. She soon felt her back against a wall, she assumed the same one she'd been braced against earlier. _Though I don't remember moving...Oh great, I've lost my mind. ...I don't want it back,_ she decided, deciding to let logic fly out the window and let her emotions have a chance.

His hand went to her hair, at the nape of her neck, which made her stomach flip even more. Her heart felt like it was about to beat right out of her chest, and she wondered why it had never done that before.

She now had a death-grip on his shirt, balling it up in her fists. Her whole body was slowly getting warmer and warmer, and that feeling skyrocketed when his other hand found its way to her hip. Her shirt was hitched up a little somehow, she imagined it had been pulled by the rough material of the wall, and that hand of his was lingering by the hem.

Luna impatiently angled herself so that the hem went up a little further, and he took that as her permission. Which it _so_ was. After a little hesitation, his hand slid underneath her shirt, and she seriously wondered if she was about to catch on fire. Her necklace was glowing and pulsing like crazy, threatening to blind her even though her eyes were closed.

She heard a weird sighing noise when his hand grazed her stomach on the way to her back, and after a few moments she realized it had come from her. Which would make sense; she was getting delightful little shivers all over.

Unfortunately, no matter how happy she was, reality soon sunk in. The reality being that she just couldn't let herself do this. It was around the time he started tracing her spine that she abruptly pulled away, shaking her head. "I can't, I can't. I'm sorry but...I can't do this."

His expression was one of sheer confusion. "Why, what's wrong?"

"Y-You don't understand. The Agency, they... I can't. They'll kill you, they'll kill me, they'll kill us both, I can't, I _can't_!"

"Hey, hey, calm down," he said gently, putting his hands on her shoulders. "They don't haveta know. Besides, I could take 'em no problem."

Luna shook her head, not able to look at him. "Don't be so sure. They probably already know. They probably knew the second I kissed you. They always know. _Always_. And once they realize...what I did...I'll be incarcerated at best. And I have no idea what they'll do to _you_. ...I can't allow that."

"Loon, you're forgetting one important thing."

"What?" she asked, hesitantly looking up at him. He tucked some hair behind her ear before smirking. "I don't give a _damn _about The Agency. They can try and do whatever they want, but as long as I'm in Konoha, they can't touch me!"

Luna slowly realized he might be right. "Wait...That's...That's true, they can't! As a whole other universe, they have no jurisdiction here!" she exclaimed, feeling like laughing hysterically for whatever reason.

But then her face fell suddenly, making him groan since he had been about to kiss her. "But-"

"C'mon, no more _buuuuts_, are you _serious_?"

"...I'm sorry, but I just can't. Even if they have no jurisdiction, it won't stop them from trying to get rid of you. However cliché it may sound, you know too much. They'll stop at _nothing_ to kill you once they realize how much I've told you. And now that I've just crossed a huge line that every Agent knows _never_ to cross..." she trailed off, shaking her head.

"I can't put you through that. Now, me, I'm going to eventually die at their hand anyways."

"Because you're planning on quitting."

"Right, so – wait...how'd you know that?" she asked him, looking up at him again. He laughed anxiously. "I...kinda...went through your stuff earlier today. I found the letter you wrote for Tara."

"WHAT?" she shouted, her grip on his shirt tightening for a different reason _entirely_.

"Hey, IN MY DEFENSE, Sasuke mentioned you might be hired to kill me and it was hella convincing the way it all fit together!"

"Oh, well. As long as you sifted through my stuff for a GOOD reason, I guess I should just totally dismiss it!" she exclaimed sarcastically.

"That'd be nice."

Her temple throbbed. "You little-" She cut off after hearing a crash, followed by "LEE, DAMMIT, THAT VASE CAN'T BE REPLACED!".

They both sweatdropped. "...Sakura's gonna be _so_ pissed by the end of this party," Naruto muttered with a shake of his head.

Luna nodded in agreement, and suddenly his attention was turned back to their own little problem. "So...What're you tryin' to tell me? We're just gonna pretend we _didn't_ just make out?"

"That'd be nice," she replied, making his temple throb.

"I can't believe you just used MY OWN PHRASE on _top_ of denying me my manly needs! That's like...kicking a man when he's down!" he whined, making her temple throb.

"Hey, I don't like it any more than you do!"

He suddenly stopped complaining to grin all smug and perverted-like. "Oh, you don't? Well, that _changes _things."

Luna's temple throbbed as his hands went to her waist, pulling her to him. "What're you doing?"

"Changing your mind. If you don't like this any more than I do, it should be easy. Especially since I want you _really _bad right now, which means, by your _looogic_, you want _me _just as _bad _right now!"

She sighed heavily. "Naruto, I really don't think-..." she trailed off as he kissed her again. _...I'm goin' to hell anyways, what do I care?_ she wondered before kissing him back, her hands gripping the back of his neck.

It wasn't but a few seconds after when she felt it. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and her scalp tingled. _No...Not now! Can't the enemy WAIT a damn minute? _She pulled away with a miserable groan, her blood running cold.

He studied her face, noticing her striken expression. "...What?" he asked carefully.

She slid away from him, looking around. "Something's not right. Someone's here." Naruto groaned. "Don't you pull that Manor of Gay crap on me NOW!" She sighed and held up her necklace, which was turning a dark shade of purple. "Whaddaya call that?"

"I call it 'You better get behind me,'" he replied, almost instantly positioning himself in front of her and whipping out a kunai.

Luna sighed again. "I knew this was gonna happen."

"What?"

"They're here."

"WHO?" She didn't have time to answer that, because the bushes started rustling, and out walked...

"Oh, thank the Holy Cupcake Jesus," Luna said with a sigh. Naruto sighed with relief, too. "Oh, good, it's just Alex. Him we can take."

Then she noticed what he was wearing, and her pulse skyrocketed. "No..."

"What NOW?" Naruto asked, him and Alex obviously wanting to rip each other's throats out. Luna shook her head. "The person on the inside, your informant...it was _yourself_?" she asked him.

Alex chuckled, tapping his outfit. "Ahhh, so you recognize this?"

"I should. I've been wearing those bulletproof vests on assignments for years," she replied dully. "Although, your face...It looks so different..."

It did look pretty different. Sure, Luna and Naruto could still recognize him, but...it took a bit of staring. She had mainly identified who it was by his walk. His hair was now black, and his eyes were a light chocolate brown.

How _Naruto_ recognized him so quickly, she had no idea.

Naruto looked between them in utter confusion. "Loon, what's going on? And now that I think about it, what's with Douchebag's new look?"

Alex's gaze flitted back to him. "Did he just call you 'Loon'?" he asked, totally ignoring the "Douchebag" part.

"Got a problem with it?" Naruto snapped.

"You said you _hated_ nicknames!" Alex accused.

Luna's temple throbbed. "I like them when they're from the right people."

"Ooooh, ouch," Naruto said with a whistle. Luna rolled her eyes, and Alex just smirked.

"Well, Luna. Ready to go?"

"Go?" she and Naruto repeated in unison. Alex's smirk grew, and he let out a loud whistle. Almost immediately, three other armed Agents came running.

"The hell?" Naruto wondered, but Luna felt her heart drop to her toes. "I warned you," Alex said smugly.

She didn't resist as they wrenched her arms behind her back and handcuffed her. "Luna Sasaki, you are hereby under arrest for outright defiance of The Agency."

"On what grounds?" she snapped.

"Refusal to return for testing," they replied. Luna felt as if she were about to pass out, her knees starting to shake. "T-Testing? No one told _me_ I was subject for testing! ...Please, this must be a mistake of some sort-"

"Get her outta here," Alex interrupted, gesturing west. The direction of the well.

Naruto ran after her, but she whirled around before the Agents escorting her could react. "DON'T!" she shouted, knowing Alex could shoot him on the spot. He had that authority, it seemed.

Naruto had that look on his face that told her he was beyond confused, and she flashed him a reassuring smile out of habit before being forced to face forward. Once he was out of her sight, the panic sunk in and hit her hard.

_Testing...No...I can't do that again...!_

* * *

Naruto watched them drag her away in total disbelief, not quite comprehending what just happened.

One minute they were kissing, the next she was gone?

He turned to find Sakura and Sasuke watching with wide eyes, and he sighed and shook his head. "She's not coming back, is she?"

"I don't think so," Sasuke replied grimly.

"Did they say...'testing'?" Sakura asked carefully. Naruto felt his stomach churn, having forgotten about that part. "...Oh...Testing..."

He looked up at them, shaking his head quickly. "She can't go through testing again. Who _knows _what they'll do to her this time? ...I gotta go help her!"

"Naruto, wait! You can't just run off without knowing where she's going!" Sakura exclaimed.

"She's going through that well! The one that leads to the world I met her in," he explained, looking anxiously in the direction they'd dragged her off in.

"And _then_ where?" Sasuke asked.

"Tara'll know. ...Wait...better yet...BECS WILL!" he said suddenly, running off.

"Naruto, you can't just-"

"I'M GOING TO MY HOUSE, IS THAT A CRIME?"

"WAIT FOR US!" Sakura shouted back, running after him. Sasuke watched the two run, then groaned to himself before following.

"...Idiots...NARUTO, I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE TROUBLE FOR US! ...All I wanted to do was get her out by New Year's, but nooo, he _had _to find that letter and make me look like an ass!" he moped, hauling ass to try and catch up with them.


	28. The Pile of Crap Rises Some More

**Finally back again! Sorry for leaving y'all hanging like that. I've actually had this typed up for a while now, I just kept forgetting to edit and post it on here, among other problems. ^^; My bad...!**

**So, anyway. Read. Review. ENJOY!**

* * *

Tara continued to return his stony stare. She refused to be the first to speak. Eventually, he sighed heavily, lacing his fingers and resting his hands against the stainless steel table between them.

"Agent Surandon, I don't like this any more than you do."

_Liar. You've been looking forward to this since before the end of the **last** round of testing._

"Then approve my request. Give Agent Sasaki more time."

"The Subject."

"Excuse me?"

"It was established long ago that we would refer to Agent Sasaki as The Subject."

_Trying to distance yourself from your crimes, you bastard?_ "...Acknowledged. My mistake, sir. Give The Subject more time, sir, I implore you!"

He leaned towards her suspiciously. "Why are you so hellbent on this, Agent Surandon? You've been up here in Washington pleading your case for about a week now. Why?"

_Because I still have a heart._ "Sir, The Subject is not even sixteen. She's out on the field, free to make her own decisions on the mission for the first time in her life. Half of the things she's encountered so far have been a mystery to her, even things as simple as...probably...public restrooms! Do you honestly want to be the man who tells her to come back for more testing that might end her life before it ever began?" she demanded to know, pleading with her wide hazel eyes.

"What if she was one of your little girls, sir? What if she was Angela, or little Suzie? Sir, I have looked after L- ...The Subject...for almost eight years, and she is almost like a little Angela or little Suzie of my own. And I dare ask you, sir...to look in those big brown eyes of hers, still bright with curiosity and rebellion and longing for independence...and I dare you to tell her her life is over. I _dare you_," she hissed, staring at him.

They attempted to stare each other down, their auras clashing and colliding violently. Finally, he spoke, and his voice was stern. "Agent Surandon, I believe being with all the young Agents for so long has made you soft. The fact of the matter is that The Subject knew what she was signing up for, just like any other Agent in this business. Every Agent has the potential to be subject to testing. Every Agent knows they could be terminated for the better of The Agency. The Subject is no exception. She _will_ undergo testing, and she _will_ suffer the consequences of her actions."

"Of _what_ actions?"

"Refusal to return for testing."

"What?"

He flung his hands up with a bitter chuckle. "Do you see The Subject here? _Do_ _you_, Agent Surandon?"

"But, sir...She doesn't even know she's _wanted_ for testing!" Tara nearly shouted, her blood pressure rising.

As if on cue, her superior clutched his earpiece, nodding. "...Oh? Good, very good. Yes. Her room is fine. Testing will commence later, after questioning. Very good, Agent. Yes."

Tara's blood ran cold, trying desperately to read his thoughts to try and convince herself he wasn't talking about Luna. _Please tell me...Please tell me he didn't-_

"You see, Agent Surandon, I can tell by your panicked expression that you have a good idea of what has already taken place. Despite what you might like to believe, I overrule you. I can act without your consultation. And my action, in this case, was to make sure The Subject was here and accounted for in time for her testing. Our Allies have been gracious and agreed to let the testing commence some time after the intense round of questioning waiting for her as to her mission, her defiance, and her relations with various citizens of Konoha we view threatening. I am sorry to inform you your case was not approved by me nor my superiors. We need the results of that Subject, and you know it as much as I do."

"She could die, sir. Does that not affect you at all? We have _never_ tested on a Subject that young before, during _or_ preceding my career here!"

"If The Subject dies, so be it. It is necessary for the further development of science. And for our country; to find out what exactly her body's unique make-up is would be to open the door to new biological advances, warfare aspects and otherwise."

Tara slammed her hands against the stainless-steel table, rising out of her seat and glaring at him. "_Eight_, sir."

"Excuse me?"

"Luna Sasaki was an eight-year-old girl when she first arrived at this Agency. The only reason she has to put up with this testing is because her brother signed them both up to work here. To save his little sister from starving to death. And since then, how has the Agency held up their promise of sheltering and protecting her? They've poked her, prodded her, given her the bare necessities of survival and nourishment, stuck needles in her thin arms, denied her of a childhood she might have been able to salvage, performed an unnecessary surgery of unknown results, and have been attempting to erase most of her memories throughout her life. I wonder, sir, how your conscience must feel? Knowing you and your superiors have deliberately failed to keep the promise you gave to a sick, scared, starving young man who wanted nothing more than to give his sister a future and keep her from death one day at a time?" she fumed, screaming at him by the end of her rant.

He stared at her; she had felt his surprise at finding out how young she had been, and Tara nodded at him. "Ah, I see. You are surprised your beloved _superiors_ kept the entire truth from you. I will leave you to your conscience, sir. I have a mission I am late for in Philadelphia. I see now I wasted my time; what a lost cause, trying to save The Subject," she seethed with obvious disdain.

"...Dismissed," he called out weakly after her as she slammed the door, her eyes crimson. Agents passing by tried not to glance at her too noticeably as Tara took a deep breath, smoothing down the skirt of her suit, her eyes slowly starting to return to normal.

_...Luna...Hang in there. I've still got plan B..._

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Naruto nearly tripped over roughly twenty objects scattered around his house as he made sharp turns towards his room.

Her bags were still on the floor. Good. That meant her phone was still there, too. Naruto glanced around before finally finding it on the floor by her side of the bed, and he picked it up, spastically trying to put the pieces back together.

Sakura ran in not long after, Sasuke not far behind. "What is _that_?" she asked, green eyes wide. "Cell phone," he said absently, pushing the battery back in and trying to slide the back closed.

"It's Luna's. She uses it to call people," he added before finally groaning in frustration and throwing the back of the phone somewhere behind him. "SCREW IT! TURN ON! _NOW_, DAMMIT!" he shouted, holding down the red button like she'd taught him.

Finally, it vibrated to life, and they all let out sighs of relief. "Who're you calling on that thing?"

"Becs."

"Which is who?"

"Loon's best friend. She'll know where she's going."

"Unless _she_ doesn't know what the hell's going on, either," Sasuke muttered, but Sakura elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow."

"Shh!"

Naruto pressed the green button, and sure enough, Becs' name was listed under a list titled "Recent Calls". He pressed the green button again after scrolling to her name, and it started ringing.

After two rings, she picked up with a giggle._ "H-Hello?"_ she asked through her laughter.

"Where's Luna?" he demanded, and Sakura sweatdropped at his bluntness.

"_...Huh? Isn't she still on standby in Konoha? With you? ...This IS Naruto Uzumaki, right?"_

"Yeah, of course it's me! But...I figured you'd know where she is..."

"_Why, what happened?"_ she asked, panic obvious in her voice.

"Well, I'm not really sure myself, uhhh...We were..._doing something_...when Alex showed up, only he looked a lot different, and he whistled and three random people showed up and put her in handcuffs and-" He cut off as Becs suddenly let out a weak little noise.

"_...No...They couldn't have...!"_

"What?"

"_...She...Loony, noooo, I** told her **to get out while she could," _she moaned, making Naruto wince. He was hoping she could've just waved off the slight fear that had been rising in his gut, and that she'd tell him Luna was fine and she'd be back in an hour.

"Becs, what'd they do?" he asked in a voice so grim that Sasuke and Sakura exchanged a worried look.

"_...It sounds an awful lot like they...they arrested her. I can't believe this! They **fucking **arrested her!"_

"...They mentioned...testing," he admitted with a sigh, knowing she'd get upset. But he had to know if that could give her a clue as to where Luna was going. Had to.

Sure enough, she made that gasp-slash-sob noise again, drawing in a shuddery breath. _"No...Not testing again. She can't go through that again! It'll destroy her, she'll remember it all this time, she's too old, they won't care about erasing that memory, they'll-"_

"Becs, Becs, FOCUS. I need to know where they're taking her. I have to know where the Agency is."

There was a pause on the other end, but finally, she replied. _"...It's in Washington. Washington, DC. Ichigo and I will be there as soon as we can, we'll-"_

"I'm sorry, but I can't wait for you. I have to go now. Maybe I could still catch up to them," he said hopefully.

"_But, Naruto, you-"_

"I know I have no clue where Washington, DC is! Still...I can't just sit and wait."

"_We can be there in-"_

"Too long a time, that's when. ...Thanks, Becs. Hey, maybe you'll catch up to me since I have no idea where I'm going," he said with slight cheerfulness.

"_But Naruto-"_

"Thanks."

With that, he hung up and tossed the phone to the side before shooting to his feet, heading in a beeline for the den.

"What're you doing? Where're you _going_?" Sakura wondered, following him.

"Weren't you listening? I don't know," he replied distractedly, grabbing some of the many Flavor-Blasted Goldfish.

After nearly tripping over the box, he decided it was a sign and grabbed the weird machine Santa had given him, too.

"That's _all_ you're taking with you? You idiot," Sasuke said with a shake of the head, making Naruto's temple throb.

"I don't exactly have much time, here! If I hurry up and get going, I won't need much at all!" he insisted, and after a moment of thought, decided against taking Luna's gun with him.

Besides, knowing her, she probably still had it on her.

"...I'll be back soon," he assured them before running off, making Sasuke and Sakura groan before running after him.

"Naruto-"

"You can't change my mind, I'm going whether you like it or not! If I don't, who's gonna help her, huh?" he shouted over his shoulder, continuing to head for the well at breakneck speed.

"WE'RE NOT _TRYING_ TO STOP YOU, DUMBASS!" Sakura shouted after him, almost at his side.

Naruto shook his head with a smirk as he leapt down the well from the tree limb he was on, hearing similar noises as the other two hesitantly followed his lead.

"Just don't slow me down."

* * *

When they reached the other side of the well, landing asses first at the bottom, Naruto was the first to his feet. "Prepare to be amazed, but don't stop to look at anything. We're heading straight for the temporary house, _no detours_," he instructed, making Sasuke's temple throb.

"Never in my life would I have imagined Naruto _ever_ leading a mission."

"Well, he is now. Mission Impossible," Sakura grumbled, swatting branches of the bent trees out of her way as they ran after him.

Naruto knew she was being sarcastic and pissy, but he still felt a twinge of fear in his gut. It _did_ seem kind of impossible. _...No. No, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna save her. And it's gonna work, and it's gonna be a piece of cake. Yeah!_

Finally, they reached the house he'd mentioned, and Naruto pounded on the back door. "OPEN UP!" he bellowed, and Renji opened the door with a temple throb.

"...Naruto? The hell _you_ doin' here?"

"Did they go this way?"

"Huh? Who?"

"The ones that took Luna, dumbass!" he shouted, looking past Renji to see if anyone else was there.

To his horror, Will was. And he was starting to turn rather pale, the lo mein he'd been slurping staying frozen halfway in his mouth. "...WHAT happened to my sister?"

* * *

Luna considered biting him. She honestly did. Alex was the one to escort her back to her room, one of his hands on the small of her back and the other grabbing both her wrists, which were still bent at a downright painful angle behind her back.

Both hands pushing her forward. His voice was the sheer embodiment of smug.

"I _told_ you to get out while you could. But you didn't listen. Remember the days when you used to _listen_ to me? The days where you stayed alive? Oh, I didn't have any _bulletholes _from you that I had to worry about then, either. Ahhh, those were the days. Then again, I guess you're too busy making out with Demon Boys to bother with shooting me. So I guess that's good. ...Except my brain feels like it's permanently _fried_ with that image of you guys."

"Shut up please."

"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you. I find that people The Agency arrests usually talk infinitely quieter. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. I just find it hard to believe you could've sunk so fucking LOW as to-"

Luna wrenched herself out of his grip, turning to face him as she growled. "I. Said. Shut. UP! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! IT'S BETTER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND LET ME THINK YOU'RE A DUMBASS THAN REMOVING ALL MY DOUBT!" she screeched, making everyone passing by turn to look at them.

Alex glared at her before making her turn back around, putting her cuffs on a tighter setting and smiling reassuringly at everyone as she hissed in pain, her back arching slightly to try and lessen the strain on her wrists.

Her finger still wasn't entirely healed from the Manor of Sleep, the last thing she needed was a dislocated wrist. Or two.

"...And _for your information_, I haven't sunk low at all. Naruto Uzumaki is a better person than you could ever hope to be. If anything, I have risen just by being friends with him."

"Will you _listen_ to yourself?" Alex wondered with disgust as they reached her room. "Thank God you weren't that way about me. It's sickening."

He undid her handcuffs, and she sighed with relief, rubbing at her wrists.

"They told me you'll be undergoing questioning soon. Tomorrow, probably. After that, it's off to your first round of testing."

"Yes, thanks to you," she seethed, not giving him the pleasure of looking at the anger on her face by keeping her back to him. Which, in hindsight, was a stupid idea.

"To think I ever fell in _love_ with you! _You're _sickening, how cowardly and spineless you are. Look at you, hiding under that new look of yours _just _to screw me over! That's how much you love me, huh? Willing to let me _die here_!" she fumed, practically shouting at him.

Luna felt something hard ram into the back of her head, where it met her neck, and she instantly felt dazed and confused. Her eyelids drooped as she slumped, and he caught her. "Luna, you're always yelling," he muttered, tucking hair behind her ear before whispering into it, "Don't cause a scene. It'll just make things worse for you."

And then the ground went out from under her, she plopped against her bed a few moments later, and then it all went black and silent as she heard her door being slammed shut.


	29. Subject X

**Back again! ...How I managed to finish this up today with a high fever and infected right thumb, I'll NEVER know.**

**Yeah. Okay, get this. The other day, I sliced my left middle finger on my mom's closet vent trying to turn it off. Then, the next day (this past Thursday if you care) I forgot about it and rubbed Germ-X all over my hands. **

**THEN, the icing on the cake? At my best friend's dad's 40th birthday party this past Friday, I was helping her boyfriend clean up afterward and I frigging sliced my right thumb all the way down the side on...You ready for this? ...Damn aluminum foil. **

**ALUMINUM FOIL! IS THERE NO NOBLER WAY TO RECIEVE AN INJURY? XD**

**So, yeah. It got infected. And I've had a fever of 103 all damn day long.**

**Eff. My. LIFEEEEE! DX**

**...HOWEVER. I've been watching Snake's (aka Lee's) videos all day, and I'm happy despite my fever. Or maybe that's the delirium kicking in... 0_0**

**For those who don't know, I'm referring to pyschadelicsnake. He does video game walkthroughs on YouTube (generally horror games), and they're frigging hilarious. He got the most viewed of the UK award on youtube today, too, so that made me happy ^^**

**But anyway, I'm digressing, sooooo...**

**Read.**

**Review.**

**ENJOOOOOY! :D**

* * *

The more minutes that passed by, the more guilty Naruto felt as he explained to Will what had happened to his sister.

He felt even _more _guilty after seeing how ashen Will's face looked despite him hiding it in his carton of lo mein as best he could.

Renji was busy looking at his hands, much like Naruto was. Sasuke and Sakura were still awkwardly standing in the doorway, not exactly sure what to do.

"...Do, um...Does Ichigo and-"

"Yeah. They said they'd be here as soon as they could, but I couldn't wait that long," Naruto replied, not looking up.

The tense silence in the room was too heavy for him to bother lifting his head through it.

"Oh."

And on the silence stretched. Finally, as everyone's breathing became more and more annoying to him, Naruto finally stood up and slammed his hands down against the coffee table, making everyone jump.

"GOD DAMMIT, WHAT THE _FUCK _ARE WE DOING? I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD TELL ME WHAT THE HELL _I'M _SUPPOSED TO DO, SEEING AS YOU'RE ALL _AGENTS_, AND SINCE _LOON_ SEEMED TO ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO, BUT NOW I GUESS _I_ HAD THE BEST IDEA!" he shouted, making everyone gape at him.

He stared at the two Agents so harshly that not even Sasuke could look in that direction. "...Are ya gonna help me find her, or are you just gonna sit there and twiddle your thumbs and hide in your damn noodles," he asked in a voice so low (and more than a little threatening) that it surprised himself.

Will stabbed his fork into his lo mein with finality and stood up as Renji continued to get his jaw off the floor. "I'm with ya all the way, but this won't be easy. The Agency's –"

"Yeah, that's great and all, but can we talk about it on the WAY to find Luna?" Naruto interrupted, making Will's brows shoot up. Then he smiled, but it was one of those smiles that people gave when they were troubled. "Sure. Might as well, no telling when the next flight out to the US is."

"Flight?" the three ninja asked in unison. Renji and Will jumped, having not really noticed them. Will nodded, cocking his head toward the front door. "Yeah, y'know, air planes. We haveta get the first flight out to the US. The United States of America. That's where the Agency is; in Washington, DC. Hey, shut that door behind you, will ya?"

* * *

Tara sighed heavily, eyeing herself warily in the mirror. Her superior thought she was in Pennsylvania, when in reality she was less than five miles away from their Headquarters.

She was at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue – the White House. Her mission - her _real _mission - was to aid the Secret Service in identifying an "anomaly" recorded on tape on their grounds; they were concerned it might be a terrorist of some sort.

_They might be right. It could be Orochimaru for all we know..._

Tara smoothed down her already-perfectly-smooth hair before exiting the restroom, and she was walking down the hallway towards the White House's surveillance room when who should run into her but the President himself.

Her papers flew everywhere, and he crouched down to help her pick them up. Secret Service nearby watched them carefully, hands at the ready and positioned so that one was on a gun and the other was on an earpiece. _...Well, this sure beats the trouble of trying to find him myself._

"I'm so sorry, ma'am," he said, but she waved him off with an airy laugh. "Oh, it's alright, no harm no foul."

A few more words were said, and then he picked up the picture she had been mentally begging him to see. The picture of Luna and Will goofing off. The main component of her plan.

"...If you don't mind my asking, who are these two?" he asked, intrigued after noticing they looked nothing like Tara.

She looked at the picture as if she wasn't sure what he was talking about before nodding slowly. "...Oh. Them. That's Will, Will Sasaki. And that's his little sister, Luna. ...Actually, sir, now that I have your attention, I suppose I could give you a full story. ...Sir, do you know about The Agency?" she asked, lowering her voice and glancing around.

The President's features immediately sharpened, and he lowered his voice as well. "...How about you tell me who you _are_ first, ma'am."

She nodded and stood, holding out a hand. "Agent Tara Surandon, sir. One of the representatives of the Agency and part of its Juvenile Covert Unit, at your service."

"Are you the one they called about the surveillance tape?"

"Yes."

They had a sort of stare-off for a moment before he finally made a clicking noise with his tongue and nodded. "My wife's out in Portland with my two daughters. Agent Surandon, consider yourself my lunch date for today."

Tara smiled at him. "It would be my pleasure, sir."

_Plan B's finally in motion. ...It won't be long, Luna. I promise. _

* * *

Luna slept for twelve hours, until she rolled off the bed and woke herself up. Groaning, she rubbed her sore neck and shoulders, wringing her still-slightly-red wrists gently; she was just glad they were free.

After a few moments, she paled after realizing what her hand was rubbing against. After all this time, she still had Naruto's headband tied around her arm. She could feel it under her jacket.

Luna had remembered what Alex had told her, about not causing a scene, and it seemed in some abstract way to confirm her suspicions; she'd always felt as if she were being watched in her own room.

It made total sense, now that she thought about it.

So she went to the bathroom, a place where she had often gone for peace and quiet. Usually she'd sit in the bathtub without any water, or on the sink's counter. Maybe even put the toilet lid down and sit on top of it.

Today, she went in there to peel off her jacket and shirt. She was right; there was his headband. It was weird she hadn't realized it was still there before now. In a weird way, it made her feel...kind of...sad. Well, more than _kind of _sad.

_Pretty damn_ _sad._

Now that she was thinking about it (while trying to pretend her eyes weren't tearing up), it had been pretty weird waking up by herself. Not that Naruto hardly ever woke up when she did, but at least she was able to be sure he was safe.

Now, there was no telling.

She supposed she'd have to see to it that he _would _be. After all, he'd be among the first they'd question her about, would they not?

Right on cue, there was a sharp set of raps on her door. Luna tensed. "Agent Sasaki, you're wanted in Room 302," the voice called out.

At least Alex wouldn't be escorting her _everywhere _now.

"Understood," she said simply. She heard the shuffling of their feet, a couple noises caused by their shoes, and then they faded into the normal daytime ambiance of The Agency.

She quickly wiped under her eyes before looking in the mirror and sighing. Apparently, her eye-wiping was futile since her mascara from last night had left trails down her face anyway.

She still didn't remember crying at all; she distinctly remembered willing herself _not_ to cry in front of those Agents. That would have implied she had something to cry about, when she was about to try and convince a man on the other side of a polygraph that she had no attachments whatsoever.

She washed her face, but that thought didn't leave her mind. How long had it been since she'd managed to fool a polygraph test? A year? Maybe a few months. And _that_ had been over arriving back at The Agency two hours late after completing an assignment.

That had been hard and nerve-racking enough, but _this _was over her relationships with Konoha and its people. And who the hell _knew_ what else?

Luna slowly took off her necklace and untied Naruto's headband; the metal would be sure to set off the metal detectors they would have stationed in front of the entrance to Room 302.

The room reserved for severe cases against The Agency.

"...Naruto...I'm in _deep_ shit," she muttered to the headband before hiding it and her necklace underneath the bathroom rug.

* * *

Will waited until they were at the airport and waiting for their plane to start boarding passengers to explain The Agency a little more.

Renji was just as confused as they were, Naruto found that one out real quick.

"What all has Luna told ya about it?"

"As little as possible."

"Do you at least know what they _do_?"

"Sort of."

Will sighed and shook his head. "You're not helping."

Naruto sweatdropped. "Well, neither are you! _You're_ not supposed to be asking _me_ questions, it's supposed to be the other way around!"

He sighed again. "...Lemme just start from the beginning. The Agency is the biggest spy organization in the world, and few know it exists. In fact, the only reason the _President_ knows we exist is because he oversees both it and its funds. I don't think our _Secretary of Defense_ even knows about it. Not that that means much to you, I'm sure. Anyway, if they really have my sister, and they're talking about more experiments being done, they're not gonna let her go without a fight."

He paused to look at them all, just to see how confused they were. Sasuke and Sakura were sitting on the floor in front of Will, who was sitting in a chair between Renji and Naruto.

The only one who looked all that confused was Sakura, who was still having a hard time believing she was in another universe.

Sasuke might have been just as confused, but like hell would the Uchiha let it show if he was.

"The Agency's headquarters're located in Washington, DC. Not very far away from the White House itself, actually. Renji and I could probably sneak you three in, since we have our badges. We'd have to bring you through in handcuffs, the security would just assume you're the usual prisoners."

"Prisoners?"

"For lack of better term, yeah. Basically, we're assigned targets. We find those targets. We either kill them on the spot, or bring them to the Agency. Once inside, they never come out alive, that's for sure. Unless, of course, they become an Agent themselves. In that case,they stay with us until they die."

Naruto nodded, remembering Luna's letter. Which, of course, almost caused his mind to drift away from what Will was saying, and he had to force it away from thoughts about her.

"When we get in there, I think I know which room they would've taken her to for experimentation."

"How do you know she'll still be there when we get there?" Sakura asked, speaking for the first time in almost an hour. That had to be some sort of record for her.

Will's expression turned more and more somber throughout his next explanation.

"Maybe I should just explain the experimental process of The Agency. There're three main types of experimental subjects. There's one that's strictly for anatomical study, and these subjects could be human, abnormal, an alien of some kind, or just a plain animal – like a frog or something. These types are only experimented on after they're dead. They're just called Anatomy Subjects.

"The other type is for when the subject's incapacitated in some way. Unconscious, in a coma, or sometimes dead. These could be for biological warfare, where they inject them with new diseases or cures they've made and see what happens. They could be for chemical usage, like turning brown eyes blue or something. Anything, really. In the name of _science_, of course," he added with an eyeroll. "They're called Advancement Subjects, since they help to advance science.

"And then the last type. These are done while the subject's still alive, and the experiments are done while both unconscious and conscious in order to register different reactions to each one. These are reserved for humans or animals from other worlds with special abilities. Mainly abilities that could help create the ultimate fighter – the Super Soldier. One that can't be beaten because its enemies out in the Middle East or whoever we're in war with next won't have a damn idea as to what hit them. 'Cause their abilities would have been obtained from people or things from other worlds, all rolled into one strip of DNA. ...These types of experiments are overseen by the Allies. Y'know, England, Italy, all those countries. Whether you understood all I just said about this type or not, there's one important thing we can't avoid comprehending – not even me. This type of experimentation has never – I repeat, _never_ – been successful. Every single subject has died during testing, due to reckless scientists, weak immune systems, inaccurate dosage of a certain chemical, or a combination of things. These subjects are simply called The X Subjects. Because once you go inside those sterilized white rooms, The Agency gets your papers out of your file and leaves them on their desks, just waiting for your confirmed time of death so that they can shred them. You cease to exist completely, and they either cremate you or bury you on the grounds."

A tense atmosphere had enveloped them while he was talking, and Naruto felt his pulse quicken as he noticed how upset talking about that last type had made him.

"...Will...What kind is Luna gonna be?" he asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

He waited until a Japanese family of five walked past, and his voice was shaking when he finally spoke.

"...She...Well, Luna was an Advancement Subject a while back, and they blocked her memory of it. She can't think about it without getting bad headaches."

"But what kind is she _now_?" Naruto rephrased, not liking one bit that Will was stalling.

"...Now? ...She, um...She's gonna be an X Subject," he admitted quietly. That seemed to be the final blow for him, because once it was out in the open, he let his head fall so that it looked like he was studying his knees. Only it must've been hard to do with his eyes shut like that.

The other three let out noises of surprise, and Naruto swallowed hard, trying not to let it get to him.

If he started thinking about what that meant right now, he'd _never_ be able to think clearly enough to get her out of that hellhole.

"Flight 179 to JFK Airport now boarding," the flight attendant behind the desk to their right announced over her intercom.

No one moved.

Finally, Naruto stood up, clapping a hand on Will's shoulder. "Guess we better get goin' and bust her out, then, huh?" he commented, grinning his fox-like grin at him as he finally lifted his head.

Will grinned back, exchanging a high-five with him. "Yeah. Let's get goin'."

Sasuke helped Sakura to her feet, making her blush a little, which made Naruto roll his eyes. "Jeez, you guys. Get a hold of yourselves, we're on a mission here."


	30. A Polygraph and a Plane

**PHEW! Finally finished this chapp! **

**...Yes. I was really seriously working on this on and off this WHOLE TIME. **

**But, y'know, I happen to live in Memphis. Speaking of which, FEMA came to my house today. Good thing I cleaned up my room recently... ^^;**

**ANYWAY, this chapp's kinda short because I was struggling, I didn't know how to end the chapp, so I was just finally like "SCREW IT!" and ended it like this. I know what I want to happen next, and that's all that matters.**

**Right?**

**RIGHT.**

**So read, review, and enjoy! :D**

* * *

Luna walked down the hallway, stopping in front of Room 302. She took a deep breath before opening the door.

A man behind a polygraph machine was on the other side of it, his elbows leaning against a – surprise, surprise – stainless-steel table.

Five armed Agents were leaning against each wall, and there was a woman sitting beside the polygraph administer with a file and a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, Agent Sasaki. Have a seat."

It was still kind of weird for them to call her Agent Sasaki – it just made it more obvious they knew the whole time who she was.

She breathed in deeply as she sat, trying to control her emotions. That was key to passing a polygraph test. Be cooperative, remain calm, control your heart rate. Sometimes one of the best methods was to prick yourself with a sharp object on your person during the right questions to make your heart rate go up, but The Agency was well aware of that tactic.

Another reason they had the metal detectors set up – that way, they could see whatever you had on your person. If you so much as had a bobby pin on you, they'd confiscate it. And they wouldn't be kind about it, either.

"I trust you remember how this works from the _last_ time you underwent a polygraph – according to your file, it was about a year ago. Either way, let me remind you for paperwork's sake," the woman said pleasantly as the test administrator put some sensor pads on her skin, wiping the spots with rubbing alcohol first.

"We'll start by asking you to purposely lie to a question. Then we start with common knowledge questions, or maybe even questions everyone would love to lie to. After that, the real interrogation may begin. Understand?"

"Acknowledged."

"Good. First, the lie. Agent Sasaki, do you own any pets?"

"Yes. An iguana."

The people in the room (minus Luna) looked to the polygraph, and the man running it nodded. The woman nodded as well. "Now that that's taken care of, is your name Luna Sasaki?"

"It is to my knowledge, yes." Truth. The polygraph man confirmed this, marking it on his pad.

"Do you have any living immediate family?"

"No. I have a foster brother, though."

"It says here that he's your blood relative," the woman protested, flipping through the papers in the file.

"Well, that is entirely inaccurate. We are not related by blood." Truth. Confirmed by polygraph.

"...Very well. How long have you worked with us?"

"As far as I know, nearly eight years." Truth. Confirmed by polygraph.

"Did your latest mission take you to Konohagakure?"

"Yes." Truth. Confirmed by polygraph.

"Did it also involve Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Yes. He _was_ my mission." Truth. Confirmed by polygraph.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"I was to protect him by any means. A cover was also established. I was to stay in his residence under the false pretense of being his girlfriend. He was also ordered to ensure my protection due to a common enemy." All truth. All confirmed by polygraph.

"That common enemy was Orochimaru. Is that correct?"

"Yes." Half-truth. Confirmed as full-truth by polygraph.

"Was this cover believed and accepted by Konoha?"

"Yes. With the exception of some foolish girl that was in love with him. She didn't wish to accept it all that readily. But she _believed_ it nonetheless." She was throwing in the extra information in hopes that they would believe her to be honest. It appeared to be working; that had been confirmed as a bunch of truths by the polygraph.

More writing on the guy's notepad.

The woman smirked. "And _you_ have never been held sway by the charms of love, now, _have_ _you_ Agent Sasaki?"

The way she said it made her want to shiver, but Luna simply shook her head. "I cannot say I have. Although I did come close with The Rogue Incident. If you recall, I solved that problem on my own."

"...Ah, very true. Did you at any point reveal The Agency's whereabouts and operations to any citizens of Konoha, its Hokage included?"

"No." Lie. Confirmed as truth by the polygraph, thanks to her steady heart rate.

"Did you at any point tell Naruto Uzumaki of The Rogue Incident?"

"...Yes," she admitted. She had to make herself look at least a _little_ guilty, they already considered her guilty anyways. That was confirmed as a truth by the polygraph.

The woman smirked again. "Why does that _not_ surprise me?"

"If I answer that, will my answer be a mixed result, truth, or lie?" she asked right back, making a couple of the Agents in the room smirk to themselves.

She was so calm at the moment, it surprised even herself. And she hadn't had to take any drugs to do it this time.

It appeared her smartass comment didn't settle too well with the woman, judging by her tone as she asked the next question. It was rather sharp and precise, with a coldness and intolerance in it that made even one of the Agents wince.

"Did you at any time declare love to, kiss while not maintaining your cover, or have sex with Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Absolutely _not_," she replied in a tone just as harsh. She gritted her teeth as the polygraph determined that to be the truth. Luna was lucky she had kept her heart from racing at the mention of kissing him; damn him for starting that little habit of making her heart beat too fast.

"Were you aware that you were required back at The Agency for testing?" the woman asked after a few moments of them staring each other down from across the table.

"Not in the slightest." Half-truth. Confirmed as full truth by polygraph.

"Agent Sasaki, I will ask one more time: Did you cross a line in your relationship with Naruto Uzumaki, going so far as to kiss him when there was no need cover-wise to do so?"

"No."

"That's quite interesting, seeing as one of the Agents on the scene informed us that was exactly what _he_ saw upon his arrival."

"Perhaps he mistook us for Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. They were also in the area, and have recently started dating as far as I know."

"I'm not so sure," she said with a smug smirk as she slid a photo across the table to her. In it was a bad-quality photo of who she could only guess was supposed to be Naruto and herself. Luna couldn't help but stare in disbelief.

Not only at the fact that this photo _existed_, but by just how...for lack of a better word, passionate it looked.

She could make out her hands around the back of his neck, mainly because she specifically remembered doing that. After some squinting, she recognized his left hand on her hip, the other running up her back over her shirt.

Needless to say, that combined with the way they were leaning into each other, and...it kind of dumbfounded her. She couldn't remember a time she had kissed someone like that.

But she simply furrowed her eyebrows. "...I can barely make this out as a couple, much less be able to distinguish their physical features."

"That's why _we_ were the ones to see it first, not _you_, Agent Sasaki. We have experience with things of this nature."

"You have experience with taking photos of underage kids in situations like this? You know, given certain circumstances, I am sure some of those photos could be considered child pornography if the situation were to progress. That seems rather reckless of The Agency, wouldn't you agree?"

The Agents were smirking slightly again, and the woman blinked angrily. "I did not ask for your personal opinions on the quality and legality of any photos, Agent Sasaki. I asked for the _truth_."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not recall the polygraph informing you as of yet that I was doing anything other than just that: telling the truth. And now that I think about it, wasn't I under arrest for failure to return to The Agency? Why does it seem I am mostly under arrest for association with Naruto Uzumaki? If you recall, he _was_ the center of my mission!"

"I am merely questioning you on possible _reasons_ as to why you failed to return, Agent Sasaki, and if I know _anything_ about teenage girls, it almost _always_ has to do with a boy!" she snapped, smacking the table with her palm for emphasis.

There was silence as they stared at each other, except for the polygraph's whirring. "...Look here, Miss. In case you haven't noticed, I am _not_ your average foolish, young, naïve teenage girl. I am _not_ willing to throw my life away for one happy day. And if I were, it would _not_ be for a boy. And if it _were_ to be for a boy, it would most certainly _not_ be for Naruto Uzumaki. To be quite frank, he had to be the single most perverted, annoying, infuriating, knuckle-headed, idiotic boy I have ever met. My brother included. I couldn't care _less_ if I were to see him in the future, much less spend any fraction of my future with him. What we have here is a simple failure to communicate. I was never informed of any testing scheduled to be done. Although, if I _had_ known of any testing, I would not have come happily, I assure you. But I would have arrived on time. As I have for everything since The Rogue Incident. Agent Sharpe's shortcomings and betrayals convinced me that I would have to work very hard to prove I was loyal to The Agency and was never aware of what he was planning. It would be incredibly foolish of me to jeapordize all that I've strived to accomplish over Naruto Uzumaki – or for anyone else, for that matter. I hope you can understand that, and that we can wrap up this polygraph test. As your fellow superiors love to point out, _we cannot keep the Allies waiting_," she concluded with a smirk, quoting Tara's superior.

She had heard him muttering that when talking with Alex outside her door the other night, before she passed out.

One of the Agents looked to be on the brink of chuckling, but the woman's look quickly snuffed it. "...Very well. Luna Sasaki, hold out your wrist, please. You are officially X Subject number 13567792. Welcome to The Gemini Project. If you survive your first round of testing, you will be brought back to your room to sleep afterward unless you are deemed too ill to leave. Best of luck to you," she said simply as the polygraph guy took the sensors off her skin and the woman attached the hospital bracelet to her wrist.

"**X Subject: Gemini Project**" was stamped on the side, along with her number, in bright blue letters.

Two of the Agents (the two youngest, if Luna had to guess) led the way to the elevator, and they opened a switch box on the side with the building's floors listed. Inside the switch box were three buttons.

"T" for the Termination Room, "Cr" for the Crematoria, and "T2" for the testing wards.

The younger male Agent on her right pressed the T2 button with a shaky finger, and the female Agent's bright blue eyes widened a fraction, her grip on her gun's holster tightening.

Luna sighed heavily. "I'll say it once, and I'll say it again. Naruto, I'm in deep shit. ...You guys won't tell that bitch I talk to him in my head, will you?"

They shook their heads, and she smiled slightly. "Thanks. Consider it my last wish? I might even put you guys in my Will, tell me your names just in case."

"Agent Lynch," the boy said without hesitation (judging by his voice, he hadn't even reached puberty yet). The girl rolled her eyes at his stupidity (though she was no older than 25) before reluctantly giving her a name. "Agent Mason."

"Alrighty. Lynch, Mason, consider yourselves in my Will. I might even be nice enough to let you have some of the Flavor-Blasted Goldfish, if Naruto hasn't thrown them all away. ...You better enjoy them," she threatened.

Her tone made them nod so quickly she was worried their heads would nod right off their shoulders, and Luna chuckled to herself. There was no better way to relieve stress than to either beat someone to a pulp or scare the hell out of them with how calm you appeared to be.

Even if you were crying like a child inside.

* * *

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Naruto woke up with a start, the weird sounds of the air plane coming back into his ears with a _**WHOOSH**_.

He looked around, rubbing his eyes groggily. This whole flying-hunk-of-metal thing was still more than a little mind-blowing. He chuckled to himself. "Loon would flip out..." Naruto let himself trail off, frowning at the thought. Now that her name had been said, it made him wonder about a million things a second.

Was she alright?

What was she doing?

Was she scared?

Had she killed that douchebag before he could? If so, he'd be so pissed.

His thoughts were interrupted by Will sliding into the empty seat next to him. "Hey, man." Naruto nodded in acknowledgement, yawning. "I'm so ready to get off this plane," he commented tiredly.

Will shook his head. "I wouldn't be so sure. The Agency's gonna be one tough place to search. Even _I_ don't know how to get to the labs. ...The lab Luna's gonna be in, anyways."

He shrugged. "So what? It's better than sitting here not able to do anything. I think I might literally be worrying myself sick," he admitted in a grumble.

Will chuckled and shook his head. "I knew it. I totally knew it."

"Knew what?"

"You really _are_ in trouble, dude."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. _Huge_ trouble."

"...Why?" Naruto asked, tired beyond comprehension. He was now officially beyond confused. Will grinned. "Because. She's _got_ you."

"Got me," he repeated exasperatedly, not understanding what Will was getting at. He sure was confusing, and possibly the reason behind Naruto's sudden headache. _I'm beginning to think him and Loon might actually be related..._

"Yeah, got you. Hook, line, and sinker. You poor schmuck. At this rate, she'll be the death of ya, I can practically see it."

Naruto smiled a little at that one. "She's already told me that."

"She always was _such_ an optimist." They both laughed at that one, but then Naruto suddenly said, "Is."

"Huh?"

"She IS such an optimist. Not was."

That made Will grin to himself, nodding slowly as he ate his weird package of peanuts one of the flight attendants had given him. "...Right. Hey."

"Huh?" Naruto asked absentmindedly, not looking away from the window.

"I kinda like you, Naruto."

He looked at him, grinning. "You're not so bad yourself."


	31. New VCard Status & Phone Mishaps

**Back again! Weird, huh? Well, I got a sudden idea and just had to get it down. So, voila! I didn't procrastinate on this one!**

**Although...I have two other very big stories I need to work on...and all I can think of wanting to do is draw... *shot***

**ANYWAY. **

**Read, review, ENJOY! :D**

* * *

When Naruto woke up (he couldn't help but doze off, the plane was so rocky!), he heard shouting. "YOU BASTARD! I WAS WORRIED SICK!"

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE? H-HOW?"

"DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS."

"C'mon, don't be like that –"

"They're experimenting on her again! You know that, _don't_ you?"

"Of course I do! I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TO KNOW!"

"Yeah? IS THAT SO? At least you didn't find out through a lousy PHONE CALL!"

"...Phone call?"

Naruto paled as they fell silent. Becs was on the plane. And he was obviously in trouble. He slowly poked his head up over his seat to see Becs with her hands on her hips, standing in the aisle. Will was in front of her, and Ichigo was chatting up the flight attendant with the cart so he could get some free food.

Rukia was watching him with an amused expression, and Renji was watching Becs and Will from his seat between Rukia and Sasuke.

Becs' glare swiveled onto Naruto, who gulped. "YOU. Do you have ANY IDEA how WORRIED you made us all? I OUGHTA KNOCK YOU FLAT ON YOUR BUM!"

"...Bum?"

"DON'T MOCK ME!"

"Miss, I'm gonna have to ask you and your friends to please take your seats," a flight attendant said timidly, looking prepared to run for her life.

Becs looked down at her fiercely. "..._Excuse_ me? I work with the government. I could have you FIRED."

The woman immediately plopped down into an unoccupied seat without another word. Becs looked at Naruto again, glaring. _Again_.

"I'm amazed you even _caught_ this flight," Will said absently. "How did you make it in time?"

"DON'T ASK," Ichigo and Rukia said loudly, Ichigo with his mouth full. Naruto gave Rukia a weird look. "Where the hell did _you_ come from? I haven't seen you around since the first night I met you guys."

"I was on standby with Will and Renji. Ayumi's with Tara back at the Agency, and I was out shopping when I heard you guys shouting on the way to the airport. So I followed you. What's this about Luna becoming an X Subject again?"

Will shook his head quickly, eyeing Becs warily. Ichigo looked over in interest, and Becs paled (well, as much as she could since she was dark-skinned) as she shakily collapsed into a seat. "No. Please tell me she heard wrong. Will, an _X_ _Subject_?"

He nodded, and she hung her head. "I tried to tell her."

"Tell her what?" Sakura asked, again startling everyone after not talking for hours to anyone but Sasuke.

Becs glanced at her. "I told Loony to get out. Something was going to go wrong, I could feel it. I told her she needed to just ask Tara for a different mission. But she said no. She had to finish her stupid goddamn assignment. She just HAD to."

Will sat next to her, patting her back. "You know they would've chose her anyway. They've wanted to since she first got there."

Of course, now everyone else on the plane had huge "WTF?" looks on their faces, but they quickly forgot about it once the orange seatbelt picture towards the front of the plane lit up, and the pilot came on over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, we've been told to make an emergency landing. Bad weather. We'll be landing swiftly in Orlando in just a few moments," he announced as they all felt the plane drop a good three thousand feet.

A couple people cried out or gasped, while Naruto looked to Will, who groaned. "How far away is Orlando from DC?"

"Too far. It'll take hours to get there, and that's AFTER the weather lets up!" Becs answered for him, pissed all over again.

"What's an X Subject?" Ichigo wondered suddenly, apparently only just now catching that part.

"NOT NOW!" everyone shouted, minus the other random passengers, who were busy complaining about the emergency landing amongst themselves.

Once they landed and went through the airport, Will and Becs made a beeline for the nearest television set. They were posted high up on the walls, and the others followed them, craning their necks to see the TVs. Well, besides Ichigo.

There was a man standing in front of a digital map – the United States Luna and the others kept mentioning. Sakura's, Sasuke's, and Naruto's eyes were wide with amazement. "Such a huge expanse of land...all one nation?"

"Looks that way."

"SHHH!" Becs and Ichigo hissed, trying to hear.

"...And it looks like this storm has no signs of stopping whatsoever," the man continued, sweeping his hand across the map. "Let's get a satellite view, shall we? Now, according to our Doplar Radar, this is a massive storm cell sweeping across the entire east coast. Down towards the South, they've already had five inches in two days, and they have eight sleet and snow warnings in several counties for the rest of the night. Down here, we're under a severe thunderstorm warning and a couple hail warnings. Up north, towards Maine and New York, they're getting heavy snow, and Washington DC and parts of Pennsylvania are under a blizzard warning. So far they've gotten about 4 inches. As for the rest of the east coast, from Orlando to Memphis to New York City, all flights have been temporarily delayed, if not canceled, for the rest of the night."

Everyone exchanged looks, and Naruto and Will plopped into chairs with heavy sighs at the same time. The others sweatdropped, and Renji shook his head. "Creepy..."

"And they'll do WHAT to her?" Ichigo suddenly exclaimed, making everyone's heads whip around to look at him and Sasuke. Sakura's temple throbbed, and she smacked both of them upside their heads.

"OW, DAMMIT!"

"...Ow."

"Dumbasses! There's a time and place to explain things like that!"

"Looks like this'll be the time and place for a _lot_ of things for a while," Naruto grumbled. Will nodded in agreement before standing up. "Well, there's no use starving myself just 'cause Luna's still far away. Hey Becs, let's go find that Chili's we ate at once when we were on that assignment about that crazy guy down here who thought he found Atlantis."

Becs glanced at him before nodding – her mascara was a little smudged – and walking briskly to catch up with him. They held hands, swinging their arms a little as he tried his best to make her laugh, and Naruto couldn't help but think one thing:

_That coulda been us._

* * *

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

The Agents didn't go past the lobby. Down in the testing half of the Agency, it was like a hospital. _Exactly_ like one.

There was a lobby, with yet another elevator. But this one never went up. Only down. The two Agents were left to fill out paperwork, stating who they were and what they witnessed and things of that nature, and they pretended to write it all down while watching the nurse and orderly escort Luna to the elevator.

Luna smiled at the young Agents as the elevator doors slid closed, and as soon as they did, her smile fell into a worried frown.

"Agent Sasaki," the nurse stated. The orderly nodded. "Heard about this one. Watch it, she's a wild one."

"She can _also_ still hear," Luna snapped.

The nurse and orderly exchanged a laugh as if she'd just initiated some inside joke. "Probably not for long. The doctors down here mess up a lot," the orderly commented.

She glanced at the nurse, expecting her to give him a scornful look at the least, but she seemed to agree with him. Luna couldn't help but feel her pulse skyrocket.

They were going to the lowest level. She could practically feel the shift between moderately natural air and synthetic air, like the kind in breathing tanks. There was just something about it that left you dying for the regular air back after a while.

For her, it was immediately. It was just another warning sign that she wasn't dreaming. This wasn't another horrible nightmare. She wasn't going to wake up, sweating, look to her right, and see Naruto there snoring.

Or hear his television on.

She was really here. She would've pinched herself for further confirmation, but the two "escorts" had her wrists behind her back.

Then again, she wasn't sure she would really pinch herself. She was scared of the result.

The doors opened, and she was greeted by darker surroundings and chaos. People were being wheeled by in gurneys and wheelchairs, there was a woman mumbling and laughing to herself in a straightjacket in the far left corner, and amidst it all was yet another lobby and receptionist desk.

Of stainless steel.

Speckled with blood.

Obviously sanitation wasn't high on the priority list. Or maybe that was just to scare the patients; the Agency was all about accuracy, and results could easily be swayed due to the sanitation of the environment and instruments used.

_They_ had taught her that.

How ironic.

The two led her over to the receptionist's desk, where another nurse grabbed her by the arm. She scanned her bracelet with some weird machine as the nurse and orderly left, whispering amongst themselves. It was just fantastic to know more Agency gossip would now be spread about her. Then again, what more could Luna expect when she was dragged back under suspicion of more-or-less seducing her mission's focus.

Great.

"Agent Sasaki," the nurse confirmed. The man behind the desk nodded and wrote something down. Another nurse came to the desk. "Patient 2391683 has just expired," she reported. He nodded again and carefully set what Luna assumed was her own paperwork to the side as he grabbed another file and stuck it in the shredder.

_Expired._

She gulped, feeling her pulse go up even further as the nurse that scanned her bracelet led her away gruffly.

* * *

They went down the hall and to the left, into a room labeled "Search Room". There, the woman locked the door before gesturing at her. "Go ahead, take off your clothes."

"Excuse me?"

"Strip," she said simply in a voice that could cut through stone. Luna shakily did so, and the woman sighed. "Undergarments, too. I don't have all day."

She hesitantly slid off her bra and underwear, and the woman nodded. "Go inside."

"Inside?"

"What are you, stupid?" she asked exasperatedly, pointing behind her. Luna turned around and realized there was a door on the other side of the room. She stepped over her clothes and went through the door, already starting to shiver. Stupid air conditioning.

She realized it was a shower room, and she was silly enough to believe for a good thirty seconds that she was going to die like some people did in the concentration camps during the Holocaust – gas showers.

Then she realized she was their most valuable asset for smoothing things over as far as their trillion-dollar-debt with the Allies was concerned.

"Spread your legs," the woman instructed, and Luna glared at her. "EXCUSE me?"

"Don't flatter yourself, spread your legs."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll be forced to sedate you," she said simply, digging in her pocket and pulling out a syringe with a needle as long as Luna's hand.

She gulped and spread her legs almost immediately, and cried out when the woman put a sterile glove on before sticking her hand inside her. Pain flared up through her body, like nothing she'd ever felt before. Almost as bad as when she got her foot impaled. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to cry, and it was over almost as suddenly as it had started. The woman tossed her glove into a trash can. "Good. No explosives."

"WHAT?"

"You'd be surprised what kind of...'incidents' have occurred here. Hence the blood on the ceiling."

Luna shook her head, and the woman suddenly glanced down at her legs. Luna looked down as well and saw she was bleeding.

"...Oh. You didn't tell me you were a virgin."

"Y-You're joking, right? You're a fucking _nurse_, couldn't you _tell_?" she practically shrieked. The woman frowned. "You're not gonna make very many friends here if you keep talking like that. Look at it this way, I just did you a favor. Having sex for the first time won't be NEAR as painful as that just was."

Luna kept her mouth shut as she left the room, imagining all the slow and painful ways the woman could die. "Stay here."

She did so, hugging herself and looking around. The tile walls were stained with either rust or blood, but only in high-up places where she assumed no one in charge of sanitation could reach. _Guess she wasn't bluffing. _

She glanced down and saw the blood running down her legs was starting to slide across the tile floor underneath her, and she sighed shakily.

"Of all the ways to lose one's virginity."

"If it makes you feel better, I lost mine by sticking a tampon up too far the first time I used one," the nurse called out from the room as she flipped a switch.

"HOW THE _FUCK_ DOES THAT MAKE ME FEEL BET- GAH!" Luna shouted, crying out as the shower turned on. The water was freezing, and it was coming out at such a high pressure that it made her skin itch and burn on contact.

"Wash yourself off, don't just _stand_ there!"

Luna gritted her teeth, knowing she looked like a fool as she hurriedly washed off the blood and the rest of her body with the nurse shouting instructions at her as if she'd never bathed before.

What kind of sick place _was_ this? And she thought testing in _general_ was bad. When she was done, the nurse finally turned the showers off and threw her clothes back at her. Luna spastically caught them, and the nurse laughed at her with a shake of the head as she attempted to put them on quickly but hissed in pain before slowly sliding her clothes back on.

"Yeah. Hurts, don't it? Sorry about that."

"Sorry doesn't cut it," Luna snapped, her whole lower half throbbing and sore. She now sympathized with rape victims even more than she had before.

What was _with_ this woman, anyway? She was just plain freaky. The woman shook her head again once Luna was finished, grabbing her arm and leading her out of the room.

"If you think it's bad so far," she said as she unlocked the door, "I doubt you'll last much longer than a day."

And with that, she swung open the door, and they walked (slowly, thanks to Luna) around three corners before going to a room five doors down to the right. On the way to the room, Luna had tried to ignore the screaming and crying and beeping monitors, but as the door swung open, she was faced with all of that.

It was a long room, much like the one Sakura had treated her Fox scar in. As they walked to find an empty hospital bed, Luna couldn't help but glance through the slits in the curtains drawn by the beds.

The people there were all much older than her, some elderly, the youngest appeared to be in their late twenties and early thirties. Although a few of them were so frail and thin they looked like children, despite their wrinkles and other various adult facial features. Some of them were crying, most were silent. They were staring off at nothing in particular, and Luna assumed it was the drugs. There was one woman who was screaming hysterically about nothing, a bunch of needles in her arms connected to blood bags and fluid. One man had tubes in his throat, and he was just laying there and rasping incoherently. There were doctors performing tests on one man – they were cutting his chest open.

That's when Luna stopped looking and kept her eyes straight ahead. There was yet another door on the end. They went through two more of these doors-on-the-end, and she was put in the seventh bed in that fourth room.

A doctor was waiting. "Agent Sasaki?" he questioned. The nurse nodded. Luna just glared at him, hoping he would wince like most of the jumpy, caffeine-addicted scientists and doctors at the Agency.

Judging from his neutral expression, the circles under his eyes, and the wrinkles no man his age should have, he wasn't like normal Agency doctors.

"Get the Subject ready for the first round."

"What is this, a wrestling match?" Luna deadpanned, deciding if what the first nurse and orderly had said before was true about mistakes, she might not be able to speak soon. Might as well be the smartass she used to be, right?

The doctor's mouth twitched, almost forming a smile, but he left before she could tell for sure. "Yes, doctor," the nurse called out suddenly, making Luna sweatdrop. "Delayed reaction much?"

The other nurses must have been watching Luna and the nurse through the rather large gap in the curtain (she hadn't shut it all the way), because she was gruff again. "Strip."

"Again?" Luna muttered, but did it anyway. After struggling with her pants, the nurse sighed exasperatedly. "I don't have time for this," she snapped, lifting Luna's legs as she unbuttoned her jeans and yanked them off in ten seconds flat.

That made the soreness creep back up in her inner thighs, and Luna hissed in a breath, but didn't say a word. Her face grew hot when she saw a couple nurses gawk at the dried blood on her inner thighs and legs before whispering to each other. And still, she didn't say a word.

Although, she said quite a few cuss words in French when the IV was put in her wrist. There must have been some French-speaking employees present, because she soon heard them laughing and giggling at her. The nurse looked down at her as Luna struggled to stay awake, blinking quickly and opening her eyes wide.

"...Good luck, kid."

She left, and Luna continued to struggle with the dazed and drowsy feeling. The nurse came back with the doctor, along with two other nurses. "She should fall asleep any moment now. Once she does, testing can officially commence," the nurse reported.

The doctor nodded. "Good, very good. We can't keep the Allies waiting much longer, they're pissing up our tree enough as it is."

The nurses nodded in agreement, and the last thing Luna saw before she lost consciousness was the light glinting off a scalpel the doctor was inspecting.

* * *

_**THE****NEXT DAY...**_

Naruto watched groggily as Ichigo continued to check underneath all the airport seats and move strangers' luggage to try and find whatever he was looking for. Most of them were asleep, even this far in the day. Naruto had been one of them, but Ichigo mumbling to himself had woken him up.

Finally, Rukia sighed and shook her head. "Why don't you just report it missing to an official or something? You probably left it on the plane. ...Or in that flight attendant's cleavage."

His temple throbbed at that. "What're you trying to say?"

"I'm _saying_ that I don't think your drool was because of the snacks, because they honestly weren't all that tasty."

"Why you..."

Becs cut off his threat, shaking her head as she stretched. "You probably left it at our flat. Where's the last place you saw it?"

Ichigo paused to think. "...I dunno. I know for sure it was in my back pocket when we went to Konoha...Aw, dammit!" he groaned, facepalming. "I could've left it over at Naruto's! Now I'm NEVER getting it back! There's no telling how many missed calls I have...Not to mention voicemails, texts, and...dammit."

Naruto perked up at that. "Wait, what? You left it _there_?"

"Probably. That's the last place I remember it being..."

Sasuke sweatdropped at the slow expression that lit up his face. "Oh God. He's thinking. What now, dobe?"

"Luna might have picked his up by mistake. They look the same, don't they?"

"Yeah, red LG Shines."

Renji snickered. "Yeah, it's so manly."

"SHUT UP! _I_ didn't pick it out!"

"Then who did?"

"You know who, don't go there."

"GUYS! You're missing the major point here!" Becs suddenly shouted, making everyone jump and look around. They sighed with relief; none of the people around them had woken up, miraculously.

Becs lowered her voice with a smile. "...If Loony picked up his phone by mistake, that means she _might_ still have it with her."

"Which means...We can get in touch with her," Rukia finished with a smile mirroring hers. Naruto had Luna's phone out in an instant, already looking through the call log to try and find Ichigo's number. "I'll do it."

"Phone hog," Ichigo muttered, and Rukia kicked him in the face. "HEY!"

"It was his idea, _he_ gets to talk to her, so get over it. You don't see Will complaining, _do_ you?"

"Will's asleep, he has no clue what's going on."

"Exactly."

Ichigo scowled at her, and Naruto's temple throbbed. "Shut up, it's ringing!"

They all sweatdropped as he ran off to find another spot in the airport. Rukia shook her head. "...Phone hog." Ichigo's jaw dropped, and she held up a hand. "Don't speak."

* * *

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Luna woke up with a very dry throat, aching _all_ over this time. She coughed a little after opening her eyes, catching the doctor's attention. He nodded at her. "Congratulations. You're still alive."

She frowned at that, not liking the way he said it, and he chuckled. "If you can walk, you can go back to your room and rest until the next round."

She sat up slowly, knowing that if she sat up as quickly as she wanted to, she'd flop right back down. He watched as she carefully turned to the side, swung her legs over it, and stood, holding onto the edge of the bed for support.

He nodded, and a nurse took out her three IVs. Which was weird, since she only remembered having one put in. "You look stable enough to me. One of the Agents will escort you when we need you again. Congratulations again, Agent Sasaki. You're one of the lucky ones."

_Hardly._

"Get dressed. And take it slow, or you'll collapse, and I doubt anyone around here would catch you."

* * *

The long walk and even longer elevator rides back to the public part of the Agency were hard. The more she moved, the more she was able to figure out just how sore she was.

Since she was the only one in the elevator most of the time (most of the Agents were out on missions and such by the afternoon, the rest were off eating or sleeping), Luna inspected herself. There were six, maybe eight stitches on her stomach, near her navel. She assumed they had done some kind of oscopy; it's where they take a small camera and use it to look around the inside of the patient's body.

That still didn't quite explain the bruises on her arms, or why she was so sore and groggy. Then she sighed. "Duh. Bruises from where they apparently messed up on your extra IVs, and the grogginess is from whatever drugs they gave you. Must still be in your system. Yeah."

Once she finally got back to her room, ignoring the looks she got for her blood-stained jeans that made it look like she had one hell of a period, she collapsed on the floor, not even bothering to try and reach her bed. She had just tucked her arm under her head and was starting to doze off when she realized she heard a buzzing sound.

And faint music.

Did she leave her iPod on?

Wait, no, that was at Naruto's house, she was sure of it. "Then...?" she wondered, not finishing her thought as she sat up before crawling to the bathroom.

She didn't feel like putting enough effort in standing up.

She nudged the door open with her shoulder, realizing the noise was coming from the loose tile. "The hell?" she wondered, prying it open. "Wait...Didn't I put something in here? ...Oh yeah! Naruto's headband...And my phone...Yeah, that was it," she declared as she looked down at her buzzing phone.

She was about eighty percent sure it was Alex, but decided to check just in case. Imagine her surprise when the Caller ID informed her that she was calling herself. It was flashing "**LUNA**" in bold black letters, the rest of the screen flashing white with a spinning grey wheel.

"...Goddamn drugs," she muttered finally. But the vibration sure felt real. It stopped, and she sighed in disappointment. "Great. I really AM hallucinating."

She jumped and yelped when it started vibrating all over again, and in her groggy state she realized the song wasn't HER ringtone.

"_**Ringidy ding ding dingy dong! Ringidy dong ding ding-**_" Confused and slightly disturbed, Luna quickly answered it to keep from hearing the Geico commercial song any longer.

"...Hallo?" she said groggily, realizing her throat was still extremely dry.

"_**LOON! I KNEW YOU'D ANSWER!"**_

"N...Naruto? Wha?"

"_**SHE ANSWERED! HEY YOU, SHE ANSWERED! MY GIRLFRIEND ANSWERED!"**_

"Naruto...Stop yelling about me to random people, you're making my head hurt," she mumbled, rubbing her temple. "...And don't refer to me as your girlfriend, dammit, we've been over this!"

She was so out of it, she still hadn't processed who she was talking to. But then she realized, and she gasped. "Wait. Naruto. Am I talking to you?"

"_**Well, of course you are. But you sound weird."**_

"I'm, um...I'm...dooed up."

"_**'Dooed up'? You mean DOPED up?"**_

"Yah, thass...thass the one," she agreed, nodding even though he couldn't see it.

"_**Why're you all doped up? What's going on? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you? Are they feeding you and stuff? Are you in jail? They're not gonna execute you, are they? Where's Alex? IF THAT ASSHOLE TOUCHED YOU, SO HELP ME –"**_

"NARUTO, shuuuut up!" she groaned. "You're making my head hurt even more!"

"_**...Sorry. I'm just...Y'know, worried."**_

"I know you are. But shut up."

"_**Right."**_

"I'm all doped up 'cause, um...I just went through some testing," she explained groggily, scratching her head as she yawned.

"_**Already?"**_

"Uh-huh."

"_**That's it? They'll let you go now, right? Since you're the only X Subject they know of that survived, they HAVE to let you go, right?"**_ he asked eagerly.

"Well, I – ...wait...What'd you just call me?"

"_**Huh?"**_

"You just called me an X Subject. How'd...How'd joo know about tha?" she asked, her mouth getting dry again. She made a face as she swallowed her own spit; desperate measures and all that.

"_**Will told me."**_

"Will's there?"

"_**Yep. And in another part of the airport, there's Becs, and Ichigo, and Rukia, and Renji, and Sakura, and Sasuke. And we're all coming to save you. Thanks to me, of course,"**_ he bragged.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. I just realized something. How're you talking to me? Why does it say I'm talking to myself? Am I hallucinating or some shit?" she asked.

"_**No, you took Ichigo's phone by mistake. He left it at my house."**_

"...Oh. Oh, tha...that makes sense," she agreed, blinking fast and widening her eyes to stay awake. Then she remembered what he had said after telling her who all was there. She frowned.

"Naruto."

"_**Huh?"**_

"Don't do anything stupid."

"_**Luna, that's like telling you to not be a pain in the ass. It doesn't happen."**_

"Naruto, I mean it. Go home."

"_**What? No way!"**_

Luna sighed and ran a hand over her face, muffling her voice a little, but her point came across nonetheless. "Naruto Uzumaki, you better not come here. It's suicide. And I will NOT be responsible for not only your death, but everyone else's."

"_**Luna –"**_

"I don't care. This is the whole reason I left willingly in the first place!" Great. Now she was shouting and giving HERSELF a headache.

Naruto sighed exasperatedly. _**"Alright, I didn't call you to argue with you the whole time!"**_

"Well then, why _did_ you? All we _do_ is argue, it's wha...wha makes us US," she pointed out, swallowing her spit again as the dry mouth came back.

"_**Yeah, well, quit it for a minute. I wanna ask you something, and I want the truth. Alright?"**_

"...Okay."

"_**Are you okay?"**_

"No."

"_**What's wrong?"**_

"I'm just...NOT," she replied, her voice breaking a little. She didn't have it in her to list all the reasons why she wasn't. That'd be a long list indeed.

"_**Hm. I can fix that."**_

"Don't."

"_**I'm gonna. And there's nothing you can do about it, so you can just shut up about this whole You-Can't-Because-I-Say-So-And-I-Wanna-Be-A-Martyr-In-Peace-So-Shut-The-Hell-Up-About-Rescuing-Me-You-Stubborn-Ass thing." **_

She sweatdropped. "Wha...What a long title."

"_**Yeah. I thought about it for, like, three minutes. But that's besides the point!"**_ he said quickly, making her jump.

"Sorry."

"_**Thank you. So, guess what, Loon?"**_

"What?" she asked exasperatedly. Amazing how she could miss him so much, yet within three minutes of talking to him, she was already annoyed and impatient all over again.

"_**I l –"**_

There was pounding on her door, and Luna jumped with a squeak that made him stop cold. _**"The hell was **__**that**__** noise supposed to be?"**_

"Agent Sasaki?"

"SHIT," she hissed, "It's that bitch again!"

"_**Who?"**_ he asked with a laugh.

"I, uh, I can't explain right now, um, goodbye."

"_**Wait wait wait!"**_

"I can't!"

She slid the phone shut and hurriedly put it back underneath the tile, laying out across the opposite end of the room as the door was unlocked and someone strolled in.

She heard those stupid hooker-esque boots clacking against her bathroom floor. "Great. She's incapacitated. Douse her with some water, would you?"

Luna struggled to keep her heart rate down as she heard water running for a long time beofre finally a cup of water was flung in her face. She shot up, coughing and sputtering, and two Agents grabbed her by the arms, pulling her up to stand as the cup clattered to the floor. The noise made her head throb violently, and she squeezed her eyes shut for a second.

Her knees buckled, so they supported her weight. The woman who had interrogated her stood in front of her, hands on her hips.

"Agent Sasaki, you're coming with me for a moment. We need a talk."


	32. Second Interrogation & Hitchhiking

**Finally back again! Well, I hope everyone had a happy July 4th if you live in the States! **

**And, just expressing my opinion on this, but Casey Anthony would probably be safer in prison, because we all know she was guilty of at LEAST child abuse, can we all agree on that? And we ALL know SOMEONE's gonna take matters into their own hands...Karma's going to at the very least. We all know karma's a bitch, so there's no way she could resist, right? ;D **

**Oh, and if you read multiple stories that I update somewhat-regularly, you'll probably be seeing something about Casey Anthony on there. Sorry for that, but that case got under my skin.**

**But I'm here for fanfiction, not discussing bullshit cases. SOOOO, without further adeu, the next chapp!**

**Again, hope you had a happy July 4th if you live in the States! Read, review, and enjoy! :D**

* * *

Luna ended up being dragged to an interrogation room, not able to stand on her own after that long trip back to her room. Barely awake, she was genuinely startled when they plopped her down in a chair, and she cried out weakly.

The woman strolled to the other side of the stainless-steel table, lacing her fingers together and clearing her throat. "Agent Sasaki, we have a problem."

Luna blinked at her, and after a moment of silence, she coughed. "...Well? Am I supposed to answer?" she croaked, her voice sounding a lot scratchier than she remembered.

She whipped out a file, slamming it down on the table. Luna jumped again, and she winced after feeling the tug of her stomach's stitches. "You told me you never had relations with Naruto Uzumaki outside of what your cover required."

"...Yes, that's correct, I never did," Luna said with an exasperated sigh. "We've been over this, ma'am."

"Agent Falco. You will address me as Agent Falco," she corrected.

Luna sighed again. "...Yes. Agent Falco. I never had relations with Narut –"

Agent Falco flipped the file open, jabbing a finger at one of the columns. "Read it." Luna peered down at it, rubbing her eyes to get rid of the blurry vision.

"Out loud," she added, her voice cold enough to cut through steel. Luna swallowed hard before doing as she instructed.

"Name: Luna Sasaki. DOB: Unknown. World of Origin: Konoha. Subject Stationed in (if Agent): Washington, DC. Recruited/Captured In: Tokyo, Japan. Status: Agent – Juvenile Covert Forces. Sex: Female. Marital Status: Single. Sexual Status: Virgin. Medical History: Confidentia –"

"Stop right there. Read that again. About your sexual status."

"Sexual Status: Virgin."

"Say it again."

"Sexual Status: Virgin," Luna repeated, her voice gaining an angry edge. Agent Falco smiled; it was cruelly condescending.

"But you're _not_ a virgin, Agent Sasaki. Not according to this doctor's report I just received moments ago. So why do you think the file says you _are_? What happened?"

"Agent Falco, we've reached a misunderstandi –"

"No, I read you loud and clear," she snapped, standing up to brace her palms against the table and lean forward, getting right in her face.

"You fucked him, didn't you," she stated harshly, making Luna wince. "You gave in, threw your duties as an Agent to the wind, and fucked him! _Didn't you_, Agent Sasaki!" she accused, and without realizing it, Luna was sinking lower in her chair with every word.

"I've dealt with Agents like you – some juvenile, such as yourself, and some not. Whatever the case, just like them, you should've known better. You gave me this whole speech on how you weren't like an average teenage girl, and for a moment, I somewhat believed you. But now I see you _are_ just like an average girl. You're naïve, you're foolish, and to be honest, _I_ think you're a slut. Not to mention you're jeopardizing _everything_ the Agency is striving for! Without you, there _is_ no funding, there _is_ no scientific research, there _is_ no progression in weaponry and genetics. You knew that, didn't you? How could you _not_ know that? And you threw _aaaall_ that to the wind for a good fuck. I hope to God it was worth it."

She took a breath to continue, but Luna stood up abruptly and slammed her own palms on the table as the chair flew out and almost hit one of the Agents stationed by the door.

"You wanna know the truth, Agent Falco? A stupid fucking _**nurse**_ stole my virginity whilst searching me for bombs! _**There**_! Happy? _**Your**_ fault! Goddamn Agency has taken _**everything**_ away from me, including my childhood and first love! Theres, I said it! I _**loved**_ Agent Sharpe! I don't now, and for whatever reason, I am _**still**_ loyal to this Agency! And I did _**not**_ have sex with Naruto Uzumaki, nor anyone else! You know, _**maybe**_ that could've happened, I'll give you that! Maybe _**over time**_, the relationship between Uzumaki and myself might have progressed to that point! Because I _**do**_ care about him, despite my attempts to distance myself as usual! But I would _**never**_ allow our relationship to progress any further than I have already carelessly allowed it to do, regardless of my feelings for him, because I of _**all people**_ should know that the Agency shall just fuck me over tenfold! Not to mention I don't want to see someone else I care about _**killed**_! Are you pleased with that answer? Does that _**satisfy you**_, Agent Falco?" she screamed at the top of her lungs, officially losing it.

There was a long silence, broken only by Luna's heavy breathing as she slowly sunk to the floor, not able to stand any longer.

Agent Falco stared down at her as she continued to pant; her face was neutral, but her eyes were sharp with anger and slight surprise. "...You...are one hell of an actress, Agent Sasaki."

"Excuse me?" Luna asked dubiously.

"I have no record of this incident you screamed at me between you and a nurse. As far as I know, you lost your virginity between the time you left for Japan and right now. And do you honestly think I would take your word over a medical specialist? I believe he would have let us know if an incident such as this had occurred among a patient and one of his assitants."

"Why would he? I am nothing but an X Subject now. I am of little importance. My paperwork and any shred of proof as to my existence will be shredded as soon as I die, which I am sure will not be long. He could cut my arm off, and you would never see it mentioned in a report. You know it as much as I do," Luna practically spat, digging her nails into her thighs to keep her vision from going blurry again.

Agent Falco scowled down at her. "Well then, to be frank, I just don't deem you as a credible source. Especially not after you've just screamed in my face for a good minute and a half. That doesn't seem very professional, wouldn't you agree?"

Knowing this wasn't going to end in her favor anyway, Luna smirked. "Perhaps. But I agree more with everyone else in here on the opinion that you're a cold-hearted bitch."

An Agent behind her made a noise as if cutting off a snort of a laugh, and Agent Falco's face was...well, pretty priceless. "Agent Sasaki, I could charge you with hindering a government investigation and you'll never see the outside of a prison for the rest of your life," she snarled.

Luna scowled at her, much like Falco was doing. "But you won't, Agent Falco. The Allies won't be kept waiting. But if it makes you feel better, I give you permission to incarcerate my mutilated corpse when this is all over and throw _it_ in prison."

With a growl, Falco had rushed towards her, hand raised as if to strike her, but stopped herself as one of the Agents cocked their gun and angled themselves in front of Luna. "That's against our orders, Agent Falco," he said calmly, gun aiming for her chest.

She stared at him before nodding quickly, wiping her palms on her skirt. "Right. Thank you, Agent Roberts. I'm afraid spoiled Agency prodigies bring the worst out of me, Agent Sasaki. My apologies."

"Prodigy," she repeated in a disbelieving tone.

All the Agents chuckled at that one. "Yes, Sasaki. Prodigy. Ever since your discovery, many scientists that work for us have been convinced you are the one thing that could help them not only understand how to engineer more people like you with superhuman abilities for our military forces, but maybe understand the minds of children who kill. They've wondered for quite a long time...children who kill...is it their environment that makes them do so? Or were they _born_ to kill? Which is why after the doctor has completed his testing for the Allies, we are allowing _another_ group of scientists to conduct _brain studies_. I'm not sure how they'll do this, but I assure you that you should hope you're dead before it happens," she said grimly.

Luna's eyes were the size of saucers by then, feeling like she was going to throw up and not sure if it was because of the gruesome images now flashing through her mind or the medication she had been given. Perhaps both. Either way, her stomach was killing her and her head was spinning.

Agent Falco looked up at the Agents by the door, nodding. "Take her back down to the labs. It's obvious she's not stable enough to be back in her room, I don't know what the hell Doctor Voltrov was thinking..."

_Doctor Voltrov...? That explains the Russian accent...Wait, back to the labs? No...No, I can't go back there! They'll put me back to sleep!_

The panicked look on her face made Falco smile, waving at her mockingly. "I'm glad we got things straightened out, Agent Sasaki."

* * *

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"He's been pacing for forever now..." Sakura muttered, sounding rather agitated.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Maybe it's the only way he can think. If he ever even thinks before he does something..."

"What did Luna even say? Did he tell you yet?" Ichigo asked, holding out his to-go box of Chili's. "Fry?"

Rukia sweatdropped as the two ninjas reluctantly tried one each. "Ichigo, did you just _share_?"

"Shut up, Rukia! Did he say anything to you two?" he repeated. They shook their head, and Sakura glared at Naruto's back. "That idiot hasn't said a word. Just started pacing as soon as he came back. He's probably attempting to plot something."

"_Attempting_ being the key word," Sasuke added.

Will scoffed from across from them, still staring up at the list of flights and hoping they'd be rescheduled soon. "I don't think you give him enough credit. He's pretty hellbound on getting my sister back. Fifty bucks says he comes up with some diabolical plan sure to fail, but doesn't fail, and then everyone goes home happy."

Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other before nodding with sweatdrops. "Actually, now that you mention it...That's how it usually works..."

"Oi! NARUTO!" Ichigo finally called out, giving up on getting useful information from anyone else. He abruptly screeched to a stop, looking at Ichigo with a temple throb.

"I was trying to come up with a plan, the hell do you want?"

"What'd Luna say to you?" he asked, and Naruto's expression immediately changed.

"...Not much. She was drugged up when she answered. But she said one round of testing was already over."

"Yeah, and then what?" Becs asked impatiently, sitting on the floor and leaning back against Will's legs.

His frown grew, and he shook his head. "She hung up on me. Said something like 'It's that bitch again!' or something, and...she sounded scared," he muttered quietly.

Will and Becs exchanged a look before nodding. "Falco."

"Gesundheit?"

"No, that's an investigator at the Agency. She's the biggest bitch of an interrogator I know," Becs explained.

Will nodded. "It's true. She interrogated me when Luna killed Alex. I think she knew Alex personally or something, because she was _so_ pissed at me for encouraging her to kill him," he muttered thoughtfully.

Becs nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think you're right...She was pretty damn pissed. Loony's lucky Falco didn't question her back then, she woulda eaten her alive, especially with how upset Loony was after killing 'im..." The two Agents shuddered and shook their heads, and Naruto groaned before plopping to the ground in defeat.

"This sucks. We can't do a damn thing until this storm lets up..." He let himself trail off, not voicing the question that was ringing through everyone's minds:

_What if we don't make it in time?_

Suddenly, Will shot out of his seat to look at them all, not even glancing at Becs after kicking her in the head by mistake. "OW! Bloody 'ell, William, the 'ell's got your knickers in a twist?" she demanded to know, making everyone snicker at how much thicker her accent got. "Bloody wanker, messin' up my hair..."

Naruto couldn't help but smirk a little, never having heard her use words like that before.

"Fuck this, you guys. Let's just leave for the Agency on foot!" he announced, hands on his hips with his jaw set determinedly.

Everyone exchanged looks, glancing outside at the lightning and wind that still raged on. "Will, aren't you SEEING what it looks like outside? That's suicide!"

"This whole mission is suicide, according to Loon," Naruto muttered, making everyone turn to look at him. He glanced up at them with a look that mirrored Will's almost perfectly. "But we're doing it anyway, aren't we? ..._Aren't we_?"

They all looked at each other once more, and finally, Sasuke sighed. "Why not up our chances of dying during this mission? I've noticed it seems to make our success rate higher..."

Sakura smiled at that, nodding. "You're right."

Ichigo nodded as well, tossing his empty Chili's box into a nearby trash can. "Right. And Luna can't wait forever...She can't help herself all the time, we have to help her when she needs it. Even _I_ know she'd be walking the same distance for any of us."

Will grinned. "Sounds like her. But hey, we can always _hitchhike_," he threw over his shoulder as they started heading for the airport's exit.

"Hitchhike? Are you _kidding_ me? That's the most dangerous method of getting somewhere there is!" Becs shouted, smacking him upside the head.

"Becs, you're forgetting something," Will said with a grin, rubbing his head briefly.

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"We've got two Agents, three ninjas, and three Soul Reapers. We can take on anyone who tries to torture, rape, or kill any one of us. So calm the hell down, alright?"

Naruto snickered as Becs huffed and crossed her arms, making her kick him in the back. "HEY! Just 'cause you're on Loony's good side doesn't mean you're on mine!"


	33. Please, Please, PLEASE Read This

You guys.

I cannot. Even. Begin. To tell you all. How deeply sorry I am.

Those of you who were PM'ing me regularly, I think you last heard I had strep throat. I got sick with a stomach virus not long after, at least, that's what I thought it was.

It wasn't. I was sick for almost a month, and after lots of blood work and shots and an ultrasound, my doctor discovered I had literally _no_ Vitamin D and _no_ Vitamin B- namely B12. This equals no energy, very poor health, brittle nails, not being able to keep food down, lots of fun stuff. This was back in September of 2011, and I _still_ have to take 4000 units of Vitamin D a day and get B12 shots monthly. ...Speaking of which, I'm exhausted as I'm typing this and in need of my latest shot. But my levels are slowly going back to normal. They're almost halfway to the minimum range a normal person's level should be now.

However, I got sick with some of the same symptoms later on in the year, around November or something, I think. Couldn't keep food down, couldn't do much of anything, and when I did eat, my stomach would swell. THAT was new. And I'm not talking Food Baby Swelling, I mean "Oh my dear Aizen, it looks like I've swallowed a tire" swelling. Not to mention I had gained weight. ...Like...twenty pounds _easy_ kind of weight over the course of a few months. Which made no sense because, like I said, I wasn't eating much of anything. So, after yet MORE blood drawn, shots given, and a gallbladder test with IVs galore - did I mention I used to have a fear of needles until this April after, what, the twenty-eighth fuckin' blood test? - it took two other doctors to discover I had a motility issue. Which basically means something was causing a backup in my intestines and nothing was exiting my system as quick as it should have been.

So I was put on these little pink pills to take before meals three times a day, which I'm still on. My pill list has gone down exponentially as of recently, but it's still a pretty fucking huge list.

On a more personal note, I went through a death of a really close family member, a new relationship that damn near sucked the life out of me as he slowly turned out to be...for lack of a more flattering term...manipulative bastard from whom I tolerated things I would _never_ have tolerated before and never will again, AND most importantly, I was trying desperately to keep my grades up.

Ya'all, I am genuinely amazed I passed Sophomore year with the grades I did. After missing over 30 days of school, my lowest semester average was an 81. It was even _more_ pressure because my school's grade system is a bit more challenging compared to others nearby, not to mention my absences made me have to take _every_ exam (which counts for a fourth of our final grade), and I had an _extremely_ difficult college-level exam for AP World History that even a close college friend of mine thought was sent from hell.

Those of you who watch my deviantART account - for whatever reason - also know I've been posting stuff on there and managing Ask Accounts with almost no problem. ...That takes a lot less effort than it does continuing stories. Answering people's questions and drawings were methods of keeping me sane and from being overwhelmed with everything, and I'm not trying to excuse not talking to anyone on here or even giving you guys an update for so long, but it's the only thing I can provide as an explanation for why I was keeping things up there and not here.

That and I was wanting to write an Author's Note when I had some updated chapters and possibly the first chapter to a Bleach sequel ready to post for you guys. Or at least under the works. But I felt worse and worse the longer I put this note off, and I have to admit to you all, I have nothing written so far.

I wouldn't call it Writer's Block, just Exhausted Writing Mind. So many essays, projects, studying - it all made answering questions and drawing a welcome change. And now I have a shitload of Summer Work to do, but I have plenty of time to do it. After I get at least a third of that out of the way - which I'm close to doing, actually - I hope to get back into writing again.

I miss writing. I miss talking to you all. I really do.

I must warn you though, my writing has likely changed some. I've grown more, mentally and emotionally, and I honestly don't know whether or not that's a good thing. And I'm not sure I'll be updating regularly, I'm scared I'll get sick again, I'm scared to not stay on top of my schoolwork.

I'm one of the best slackers around, but I can't pull off _that_ good of a balancing act. And if I want to become a psychologist one day - which I do, I really truly do, and that "one day" is getting even closer now that I'm a Junior - I need to put my academics first.

Also, I didn't have a laptop until Spring break. So I didn't have THAT many options, see? And once I had it, I used it _almost_ exclusively for school; there were the occasional deviantART chat antics and Skype conversations to clear my mind.

Because if I sat here and typed down that I did nothing but schoolwork on this thing, my laptop would likely get so pissed at that bold-faced lie that it would fry itself.

Now that I think about it after rambling on this Author's Note, I think the main reason I haven't written anything is because I've been almost scared to. I didn't want to write a new chapter here and there, get everyone excited, and then disappear off the face of the earth again.

But I promise you all right now, I'm gonna do my best to get back in the swing of things. This was my most difficult year health-wise, and you honestly have no idea how much it's affected me. Physically and mentally. And how stressed I've been. And am. But I can't wait to get back to my stories again, and break out of my old habits writing-wise: firstly with fixing my habit of making redhead OCs. I honestly don't even know how that came about, _yes_ I have red hair, and I _do_ have a couple close friends with even MORE red hair. And the OCs were all of the same make-up, but to be honest, it wasn't even wish fulfillment. I didn't imagine these characters as myself, I didn't pair them with people I'd want to be paired with. They just appeared that way in my brain, I wrote down the first chapter, and from there my fingers took care of the rest. Every twist and turn surprised me as much as it surprised you to read it, and I've laughed and raged just like some of you might have. I think it was more of a familiar territory kind of thing. But you can only do so much of that before accepting your mistakes and fixing them, right?

And I'm going to work on my character development, too. You can't make your OCs well-rounded and then just kind of go halfway with everyone else. Like I said, I've grown a bit. And dammit, after the long wait I've put ya'all through, you deserve some originality. ...Well, more originality.

On that note, I'll end this rambling note and just hope you guys can forgive me. Feel free to leave a review or PM me saying whatever you'd like, I wouldn't be surprised if some of you are angry. Or if you just wanna say hi and tell me how things have been for YOU since I've been gone. I really do care about people who read the random stuff I put on here, and I remember most if not _**all** _of my reviewers, I swear on my Chips A'Hoy. ...Which I hold very dear to my heart, just saying.

And please, take care of yourselves. Exercise at least a little regularly, go out and enjoy the sun, enjoy your friends, enjoy life! I've been cooped up all year, and lemme tell ya, that'll get you to long for the outdoors like nothing else. I've also discovered that even I, the great Mandy, can perceive people through rose-colored glasses. Be aware of exactly who it is you're dealing with, and if your girlfriend or boyfriend - or anyone- gives off red flags, no matter how small they are, no matter how badly you want to just overlook them, ponder them. Think carefully about them. And don't be afraid to break things off. I wasn't, and though it was hard afterward, I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if I'd let it keep going.

Just...be careful, you guys. I care about you all.

Glad to be back,

Mandy~


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